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Analogies ?

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  • andyb240658
    Not music related but I thought this might amuse. Worst analogies ever written in a high school essay ? He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from
    Message 1 of 5 , May 5 6:59 AM
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      Not music related but I thought this might amuse.

      Worst analogies ever written in a high school essay ?

      He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience,like a guy
      who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of
      those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country
      speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar
      eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
      Joseph Romm, Washington

      She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to
      dangle from screen doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door
      open again.
      Rich Murphy, Fairfax Station

      The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a
      bowling ball wouldn't.
      Russell Beland, Springfield

      McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty Bag filled
      with vegetable soup.
      Paul Sabourin, Silver Spring

      From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an
      eerie,surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city
      and "Jeopardy" comes on at 7 p.m. instead of 7:30.
      Roy Ashley, Washington

      Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.
      Chuck Smith, Woodbridge

      Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.
      Russell Beland, Springfield

      Bob was as perplexed as a hacker who means to access
      T:flw.quid55328.com\aaakk/ch@ung but gets T:\flw.quidaaakk/ch@ung by
      mistake
      Ken Krattenmaker, Landover Hills

      Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
      Unknown

      He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.
      Jack Bross, Chevy Chase

      The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you
      fry them in hot grease.
      Gary F. Hevel, Silver Spring

      Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a
      movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like
      "Second Tall Man."
      Russell Beland, Springfield

      Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the
      grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having
      left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other leaving
      from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
      Jennifer Hart, Arlington

      The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr.
      on a Dr Pepper can.
      Wayne Goode, Madison, Ala.

      They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that
      resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth
      Paul Kocak, Syracuse, N.Y.

      John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had
      also never met.
      Russell Beland, Springfield

      The thunder was ominous-sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of
      metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.
      Barbara Fetherolf, Alexandria

      His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like
      underpants in a dryer without Cling Free
      Chuck Smith, Woodbridge

      The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola crayon.
      Unknown
    • David Cantwell
      A couple of these are actually pretty good. In at least a few cases here, in fact, I m guessing the humor is deliberate. These aren t the students real names
      Message 2 of 5 , May 5 7:13 AM
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        A couple of these are actually pretty good. In at least a few cases here, in
        fact, I'm guessing the humor is deliberate.

        These aren't the students real names are they? If they are, I sure hope
        whoever put this list together got the student's permission... --david
        "english teacher" cantwell
      • Andy Benham
        ... No idea, that s exactly how the email was sent to me.
        Message 3 of 5 , May 5 8:14 AM
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          On 5 May 2004 at 9:13, David Cantwell wrote:

          > A couple of these are actually pretty good. In at least a few cases here, in
          > fact, I'm guessing the humor is deliberate.
          >
          > These aren't the students real names are they? If they are, I sure hope
          > whoever put this list together got the student's permission... --david
          > "english teacher" cantwell
          >
          No idea, that's exactly how the email was sent to me.
        • Carl Zimring
          I m pretty sure this list is old enough that those students are now established businesspeople. (If in fact they actually exist.) Back in my old office we use
          Message 4 of 5 , May 6 4:29 AM
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            I'm pretty sure this list is old enough that those students are now
            established businesspeople. (If in fact they actually exist.)

            Back in my old office we use to collect the most egregious statements our
            world history students made on a Wall of Shame. (For example, identifying
            Aztecs as Buddhists and thus "a mellow people".) If it's still there, I
            may report a few when I get back from Pittsburgh later this month.

            Carl Z.

            --On Wednesday, May 5, 2004 9:13 AM -0500 David Cantwell
            <cantkill@...> wrote:

            > A couple of these are actually pretty good. In at least a few cases here,
            > in fact, I'm guessing the humor is deliberate.
            >
            > These aren't the students real names are they? If they are, I sure hope
            > whoever put this list together got the student's permission... --david
            > "english teacher" cantwell
          • Terry J. Harris
            Indeed, the humor is deliberate. The source is a humor contest run in the Washington Post on Sundays. Terry ... here,
            Message 5 of 5 , May 6 7:39 AM
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              Indeed, the humor is deliberate. The source is a humor contest run in
              the Washington Post on Sundays.

              Terry

              > A couple of these are actually pretty good. In at least a few cases
              here,
              > in fact, I'm guessing the humor is deliberate.
              >
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