- Hi everyone. This is Inge. Most of you don't even no me, but if you
take a few minutes to read this, that would be great. It has a point
to it, trust me:))
I have lived in Latvia most of my life. It is an amazing place, but
due to the Russian occupation, Latvia struggles with recovering from
many major devastations. When I was about 12, I suddenly was
overcome with daily pain. No one knew what this sickness was. My mom
and I went to doctors almost every week, until there were no other
ones left to help us. Nothing seemed to help, so they made me go to
the hospital for several medical examinations.
Now, the Latvian hospitals are NOTHING like the American hospitals.
My hospital was rundown, filthy etc. But the worst part of all was
the nurses, (mostly Russian nurses that hate Latvians) which were
rude and yelled all the time. As they took many examinations of me,
the pain had started to get worse. Around my second week there, they
decided to do this final bigger examination, which required many pre-
procedures, which included specific medicine. This medicine, as I
know of now, was what incensed the pain even more, causing an
additional disease later on. Anyway, I remember begging to the nurse
in tears, "Please don't give me anymore. It hurts. I can't take the
pain anymore. Please! Please!" The nurse didn't even say anything,
just continued stuffing it all in for many days.
Finally, as the pre- procedures were over with, the pain was worse
then ever. I was practically like a ghost, not even alive. I was
extremely thin, pale, and was not eating anymore. I had to be fed
artificially through my blood. One time, it was so bad that I
remember screaming across the whole hospital hysterically in tears,
with all the strength I had left, "Someone help me! Please someone
help! Why can't anyone help me?" I remember the nurse hearing that
and coming in and screaming in my face, "Shut up! No one cares!"
Those exact words have been haunting me almost everyday. From that
moment, I never really choose to ask for help from anyone, because I
thought, "Why would anyone care? Everyone has his or her own
problems. Why would they want to be a part of mine?" So after the
hospital, I hide in myself. I never told anyone that I was in pain,
or what truly goes on in my family, or how hurt and messed up my
life really is. Still this day, I always wonder, " Why do so many
people bring you down? Why can't that just say something good- a
compliment, reassurance etc?" And then I realized, that I have been
doing that myself, to make myself feel better and stronger. How sad
is that! All of us do it all the time ,but next time, remember, that
it could truly hurt another.
When I was 12, I remember being mad at God for making me suffer
through all that pain; I thought that no one else in this world
feels as much pain as I do! (Now I obviously realize that is not
true! I was actually lucky compared to other diseases kids have all
over the world). I was also mad at God because I felt as if I were
alone. I thought no one cared about me. No one ever hugged me or
comforted me. Many felt sorry for me, but that wasn't what I needed.
Now I realize, that this was not true, because God was always there
for me. He never left my side. Without God in my life, I would have
not made it. I would have given up my life several years ago, if it
weren't for God holding me in his hands.
The doctors never discovered what was wrong with me, even after the
hospital, but because of all of this, I grew closer to God. It is
amazing how He took care of me. He changed me from a barely living
little girl to a healthy, active girl. Now I am in about 4 sports,
have some-what good grades, and I could ride roller coasters!!!
Which is awesome, because in Latvia we don't have roller coasters.
The pain I still have, but not as bad. I have learned how to cope
with it. I am kind of used to it, so it actually isn't that painful
anymore. Now, the reason I choose to write all of this is because at
the end of this week, I have to go through the same crazy medical
procedure that I did in Latvia. I am a little scared, but they will
actually PUT ME TO SLEEP THIS TIME, so I am a very very lucky
girl:)) This time, I am asking for help from all of you and God. I
was wondering if you can help me out by just simply praying for me
that everything goes smooth, no complications etc. I am not scared
of the pain, simply more of having to remember the past. Thank you:)
I guess, through my lovely experience, I have learned a couple of
* Never doubt God's presence in your life!
*Be open with your problems/hard times with your close ones,
yourself, and most importantly with God. Hiding them will not make
them go away. If most people don't care, at least God will always
* Always be thankful for all your friends who are beside you, your
family that loves you, and God who will be always there for you. And
don't do anything stupid to drive them away; nothing is worth losing
Well, I shall congratulate those who read this to the end. I am
sorry that it was long and sorry for all the grammar mistakes. What
can I say, English is not an easy language. If anyone has any
questions or comments that they would like to share, email them to