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Flash Fiction - Cats

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  • dragonkatprincess
    Of course, it took a cat to figure it out. While all the humans were running around not knowing what to do, Charlise simply took her time, pacing from person
    Message 1 of 4 , Jun 2, 2002
      Of course, it took a cat to figure it out. While all the humans were
      running around not knowing what to do, Charlise simply took her time,
      pacing from person to person, bestowing a gentle rub here, a leg curl
      there, slowly piecing together what had taken place. Cats can do
      that you know. All it takes is physical contact. All cats are
      psychic - a fact that the National Enquirer has know for decades, but
      doesn't publish. Why? The editor is a cat owner - you figure it out.

      So Charlise took the fragments she gathered from each person's
      thoughts, and placed them all in order. Then, with a soft 'mew', she
      leapt onto her owner's lap and rubbed her whiskers on his wrinkled
      cheeks, purring solidly. Even in his distressed state, this action
      brought a faint smile and a practised pat, causing Charlise to arch
      under his familiar touch. Then his smile disappeared, and a slight
      frown formed on the old man's face, as the knowledge that Charlise
      imparted to him via the touches sunk into his head - couched
      carefully in his own thought patterns. Where else do you think cats
      get the reputation of having a calming influence from? They don't
      have the ability to calm humans and help them think - they GIVE them
      the thoughts! Only in exceptional circumstances of course.

      Charlise sat staidly on her human's lap while he made the correct
      accusations. Watched placidly as the accused broke down in tears and
      admitted the theft. And noted that, of course, the accused did NOT
      have a cat!

      Comments welcome - I just dashed it down!

      Cheers
      Tehani
    • porcula
      -Love it! Amelia -- In fantasyfictiondungeon@y..., dragonkatprincess ... were ... time, ... curl ... but ... out. ... she ... and
      Message 2 of 4 , Jun 3, 2002
        -Love it!
        Amelia
        -- In fantasyfictiondungeon@y..., dragonkatprincess <no_reply@y...>
        wrote:
        > Of course, it took a cat to figure it out. While all the humans
        were
        > running around not knowing what to do, Charlise simply took her
        time,
        > pacing from person to person, bestowing a gentle rub here, a leg
        curl
        > there, slowly piecing together what had taken place. Cats can do
        > that you know. All it takes is physical contact. All cats are
        > psychic - a fact that the National Enquirer has know for decades,
        but
        > doesn't publish. Why? The editor is a cat owner - you figure it
        out.
        >
        > So Charlise took the fragments she gathered from each person's
        > thoughts, and placed them all in order. Then, with a soft 'mew',
        she
        > leapt onto her owner's lap and rubbed her whiskers on his wrinkled
        > cheeks, purring solidly. Even in his distressed state, this action
        > brought a faint smile and a practised pat, causing Charlise to arch
        > under his familiar touch. Then his smile disappeared, and a slight
        > frown formed on the old man's face, as the knowledge that Charlise
        > imparted to him via the touches sunk into his head - couched
        > carefully in his own thought patterns. Where else do you think cats
        > get the reputation of having a calming influence from? They don't
        > have the ability to calm humans and help them think - they GIVE them
        > the thoughts! Only in exceptional circumstances of course.
        >
        > Charlise sat staidly on her human's lap while he made the correct
        > accusations. Watched placidly as the accused broke down in tears
        and
        > admitted the theft. And noted that, of course, the accused did NOT
        > have a cat!
        >
        > Comments welcome - I just dashed it down!
        >
        > Cheers
        > Tehani
      • catkey2001
        Very nice. Those darned cats are always plotting something. Hmmmmm. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ I had just been thinking about Star Wars and I can t help admiring how Lucas
        Message 3 of 4 , Jun 3, 2002
          Very nice. Those darned cats are always plotting something. Hmmmmm.

          ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

          I had just been thinking about Star Wars and I can't help admiring
          how Lucas has created a completely new world; one with a brand new
          government, military, and public. This must have taken quite some
          time to think up, wouldn't it've? It's amazing how much into detail
          some of these writers will go in their own worlds, it is definately
          worth it though. I like to follow stories like that just becase they
          are places so very new and different, and if you started in the
          middle of the series then you would never know what will happen to
          the main character if he decides to do something against the "law",
          or what kind of customs these alien species have.

          Anyways, it's late and I'm rambling, but I've one more question; has
          anyone read Phillup Pullman's series which includes The Golden
          Compass, The Subtle Knife, and the last one (I can't think of the
          name of it even though I just saw it!). My uncle is reading them and
          says that this is his favourite series, and I've never started The
          Golden Compass even though I've had it for years. If you have read
          them, let me know what you thought.

          -Chris


          --- In fantasyfictiondungeon@y..., dragonkatprincess <no_reply@y...>
          wrote:
          > Of course, it took a cat to figure it out. While all the humans
          were
          > running around not knowing what to do, Charlise simply took her
          time,
          > pacing from person to person, bestowing a gentle rub here, a leg
          curl
          > there, slowly piecing together what had taken place. Cats can do
          > that you know. All it takes is physical contact. All cats are
          > psychic - a fact that the National Enquirer has know for decades,
          but
          > doesn't publish. Why? The editor is a cat owner - you figure it
          out.
          >
          > So Charlise took the fragments she gathered from each person's
          > thoughts, and placed them all in order. Then, with a soft 'mew',
          she
          > leapt onto her owner's lap and rubbed her whiskers on his wrinkled
          > cheeks, purring solidly. Even in his distressed state, this action
          > brought a faint smile and a practised pat, causing Charlise to arch
          > under his familiar touch. Then his smile disappeared, and a slight
          > frown formed on the old man's face, as the knowledge that Charlise
          > imparted to him via the touches sunk into his head - couched
          > carefully in his own thought patterns. Where else do you think
          cats
          > get the reputation of having a calming influence from? They don't
          > have the ability to calm humans and help them think - they GIVE
          them
          > the thoughts! Only in exceptional circumstances of course.
          >
          > Charlise sat staidly on her human's lap while he made the correct
          > accusations. Watched placidly as the accused broke down in tears
          and
          > admitted the theft. And noted that, of course, the accused did NOT
          > have a cat!
          >
          > Comments welcome - I just dashed it down!
          >
          > Cheers
          > Tehani
        • trevinwolfe
          Very nice story. It reminded me of a joke I was recently emailed: EXCERPTS FROM A DOG S DIARY Day number 181 8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE! 9:30 am -
          Message 4 of 4 , Jun 6, 2002
            Very nice story.

            It reminded me of a joke I was recently emailed:


            EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DIARY

            Day number 181
            8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
            9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
            9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
            10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
            11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
            12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
            1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
            4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
            5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
            5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

            Day number 182
            8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
            9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
            9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
            10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
            11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
            12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
            1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
            1:30 pm - ooooooo. bath. bummer.
            4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
            5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
            5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!


            EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DIARY

            DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling
            objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat
            dry
            cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and
            the
            mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of
            furniture.
            Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

            DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their
            feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the
            top of
            the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile
            oppressors, I
            once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair...must try
            this
            on their bed.

            DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in
            attempt
            to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear
            into
            their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a
            good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan.

            DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good
            reason I
            was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a
            burning
            foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a
            liquid.
            My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my
            teeth.

            DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was
            placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the
            noise and
            smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer". More
            importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of
            "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my
            advantage.

            DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and may be
            snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to
            return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has
            got to
            be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he
            reports
            my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his
            safety is
            assured. But I can wait, escape and revenge will be mine......
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