Re: Chapters 5 and 6 of Jucy and the Barbarian
- I enjoyed these chapters greatly Herod! Well done. I especially
like chapter 6
--- In firstname.lastname@example.org, "Herod Antipas"
> Nobody responded to this post before, so I thought I'd persist and
> run it up the flagpole again. If I'm doing the wrong thing,
> gup chapter here, let me know and I'll stop, but I received someanybody
> nice, and helpful feedback on previous chapters and people seemed
> interested. I think it's just that when the conversation gets
> going, posts fall quickly behind. I hope you enjoy it. If
> is lost and didn't see the previous chapters, let me know and Iwill
> send them to you. I'd love to try to publish this, the questionis,
> Herod Antippas
> Chapter 5
> By Herod Antipas 2005
> "Stand and deliver!"
> It was the eighth day of the journey when disaster struck.
> The barbarian and the princess has dismounted to stretch their legs
> and were letting the horses graze in a meadow a short distance
> behind them. Gwig's sharp ears made out the sound of hoof beats
> behind them. When he turned to look he also heard men on horseback
> coming from around a bend in the road in front of them. The party
> of brigands, almost all mounted, numbered about twelve or thirteen.
> Their apparent leader was a thin scraggly-looking fellow with buck
> teeth, and it was he who had made this demand. A bandit on foot
> held the reins of his own horse, and also those of Buttercup and
> Gwig's smaller roan. Gwig said nothing, and Jucunda, for once, held
> her tongue.
> "You heard me, musclehead! Deliver your goods, for you
> stand at the mercy of Barzac, reaver of treasures and looser of
> souls! These are my men, Barzac's raiders, and I am Barzac
> himself." Gwig looked from one man to the next as if mentally
> trying their mettle, and with a lack of excitement which the
> brigands found unnerving.
> "I am Gwig." He said at last, standing his ground. In the
> silence which followed Jucunda coughed several times into her hand,
> and finally shot him a look of annoyance, offended that he had
> failed to introduce her as well. Gwig turned to her in
> disbelief. "Hold your tongue and let me handle this," He said in a
> stage whisper, through gritted teeth.
> "O ho Barbarian! Can't control thy woman?" Barzac
> taunted. "But gentlemen, we forget our manners," he said to the
> company at large, "Yon lardbiscuit wishes to speak." Jucunda
> elbowed Gwig aside and took a few steps closer to the brigand
> "Thank you," she began, "it seems that " The insult had hit
> home. "Lardbiscuit?! Thou bull's pizzle! Only come closer and
> I'll slap off thy beard! You who dare to talk to me this way, I'll
> have you know I am eep!" Gwig, in a desperate bid to recapture the
> floor and prevent the princess from revealing her identity had
> reached over and given her a vigorous pinch with his thumb and
> forefinger, provoking gales of raucous laughter from the raiders.
> "Well done Master Barbarian!" roared Barzac "But I see your
> plumpkin is a spirited lass. I'll tell you what. Let us take her
> off into the meadow and sample her charms and you may keep your
> horses and baggage. Why she look to be enough girl to satisfy us
> six at a time!" Jucunda blanched with real fear at this, while Gwig
> stepped firmly between her and Barzac. With his back to the woods
> he was still surrounded by robbers on horseback on the other three
> "You already have our horses and baggage. Count yourself
> lucky and be gone." He stood stock still.
> "Stand aside, barbarian, or my men and I may decide to send
> you early to Hell."
> "Mayhap you could accomplish that," Gwig replied, looking
> each man in the eye, "but answer me this: Which five of you will be
> accompanying me on the trip?" With one single motion and an icy
> noise, his sword slid out of the scabbard on his back. He held the
> two-handed blade with one hand for a moment, sinews standing out
> like cords on his arm and then adopted a two-handed fihting stance,
> one foot forward, arms cocked back to swing. The blade was so long
> that it eliminated the horsemen's greater reach and it looked heavy
> enough to cleave through a horse's forelimb, meat and bone.
> Barzac's men looked uncertainly at their leader.
> "Huh." Barzac said at last, my physician has been telling me
> that I need to cut down on pork in any case. Come men." And with
> that, he turned his horse around and started walking it back the
> he had came. The man on foot led the travelers' horses away andprobably
> some of them caused their horses to walk backwards so that they
> could keep an eye on Gwig and his sword, which remained at the
> ready, his arm only beginning to tremble from the heft of it when
> they were almost out of sight. At last he let it drop, wiped his
> brow with a rag and said
> "Aye, looser of souls indeed, but twere lucky there was not
> a bow among them, or I'd have been feathered for sure." It was all
> too much for Jucunda to bear and she began to pummel him with
> surprising strength about his chest and shoulders.
> "Lucky?!" the girl screamed, and let loose a stream of
> invective containing a number of words that most princesses
> did not know. "They have taken Buttercup! And our expense money!but
> And all of my garments!" She paused with the realization of further
> losses "And my beautiful wedding dress, for which it was so hard to
> find a seamstress (though it truth it did chafe a bit)! And my
> dowry!" She howled as she slapped him.
> "Nay, princess, your dowry is here in my survival pack," he
> said brightly, gesturing to his back, along with a small tent, some
> dried venison, and the first third of my pay."
> "Your pay?!" she exploded, "I call it forfeit, for you have
> done not a thing to earn it! Letting them call me "ladbiscuit"
> and "plumpkin" and..and.." the outrage was almost too great to put
> into words, "you pinched me! Tweaked like some village slattern!"
> She aimed an especially viscous kick at his right shin, but her
> slippered foot bounced off his hard leather riding boot.
> "Jucunda" he said in a commanding tone, taking hold of her
> arms. It was the first time he had used her given name. "Primus: I
> would hardly call offering to die to save thine honor a nothing,
> as far as my pay being forfeit, `tis true, for without our expenseher
> money we must spend it to survive. Secundus: had I been alone,
> mayhaps I would have fought thirteen brigands to the death for the
> sheer sport of it, but I had your welfare to think of. Had I gone
> down swinging, `twould have left one chubby princess against seven
> or eight angry highwaymen. Tertius: that pinch were a stroke of
> desperation to prevent you spending your wedding day being held for
> ransom in a bandit camp eight days ride from home. We crossed the
> border of your father's kingdom yesterday in case it scaped your
> notice.!" She gingerly rubbed the area in question.
> "I'll grant you that last point, but I shall be black and
> blue for a week. What are we to do now?" Gwig smiled at her
> recovery of her composure.
> "We shall survive and I shall see you wed. But we shall be
> on a tightened budget and for now we must perforce walk." Jucunda
> smoothed the font of his tunic, rumpled from her blows, and stepped
> "Very well then. And since we are about to become even more
> intimate traveling companions than previously, you may as well call
> me by the pet name by which I am known to my family and friends."
> "And what is that?"
> "Jucy." He gave her a toothy grin
> "Well then, Jucy, let us be off for Ghaspar."
> "A moment, Gwig." She said, sitting down on a large boulder
> and smoothing out her dress. "I shall be much better able to walk
> after I have had a good cry." And with that, she put her face in
> hands and sobbed like a child.the
> Chapter 6
> By Herod Antipas 2005
> The barbarian and the princess had been walking for several
> hours and the sun was directly overhead. For all that had happened,
> Gwig mused, she was turning out to be more of a boon traveling
> companion than he had expected. It was a shame he was going to have
> to spend part of his pay, but perhaps the sultan would make good
> loss when he heard the story. The thought of this awakened anby
> unwelcome pang at the thought of having to hand her over at the end
> of the trip. He smiled to himself as he thought about the way she
> had face down the bandit chief. She certainly hadn't folded in on
> herself that time. She had also much impressed him with how well
> she dealt with adversity, after the initial tempest of course. Here
> she was, sans horse, sans money, and sans wedding dress walking
> steadily down the road with him, or maube not. The princess had
> recently slowed and was beginning to sniffle.
> "What ho Jucy?" he asked "not mourning your trousseau again?"
> "No, it's not that," she said, wiping away a tear, "it's
> just that this is the longest I have walked in years. I was trying
> to be brave and not complain, but my thighs are well-nigh raw from
> rubbing together." Her voice broke.
> "Ah, it is my fault." He replied. "I should have thought."
> He was beginning to open his pack. "'Tis a common problem, not only
> with plump young ladies, but with some of the more heavy-thewed
> members of my cohort when I fought for the Grand Duchy of Leomond,
> where the fighters wear leathern kilts into battle. I will
> prescribe the Leomondian cure for you." He handed her a small
> bottle and two rolls of fabric, intended for use as bandages. "Do
> but wrap one bandage around the thickest part of each member and
> they will save you from further unnecessary friction. Tonight,
> anoint yourself with this liniment and you shall feel much better
> morrow." She took the articles gratefully.it
> "Turn your back, close your eyes, and cover your head with
> your cloak. I am to sore to venture even a few feet into the
> woods." While Gwig held this ridiculous position, she hiked up her
> dress and carefully wrapped each inflamed thigh with the soft
> fabric, securing it in place with two pins from her hair, which
> caused her scarlet tresses to fall down over her shoulders. "That
> does it. Now let us check the results." She took a few
> experimental steps, amused at the "whip-whip" noise she now made as
> she walked. "'Tis much improved already. I shall soon be ready to
> serve as a pikeman in the Grand Duchy of Leomond, although I hope
> should not require me to sneak up on anybody."resting
> They walked a bit farther, Jucunda "whip-whipping" along
> when she asked a question in a small voice.
> "Gwig, tell me truly. Do you think me a lardbiscuit, as the
> brigand chieftain said?"
> "I think you a clever, spirited, and winsome girl. The fact
> that there is more of you than most women, be just an added bonus."
> He said this almost without thinking, then kept his eyes straight
> ahead so that neither saw the other one blush.
> "You know Gwig I was more angered when he called
> me "Plumpkin", for my father used to call me that as a term of love
> until my mother made him stop. We were not supposed to discuss my
> weight in her presence. My sisters would follow this rule and then
> serve me up double insults when we got back to the dormitory."
> "That sounds hard."
> "Nay not that hard. It is only as sisters will do.
> Dorcas's pimples, and Menolly's gap teeth were not spared. But we
> were a close family. Even my older sister Romna, who ran off with a
> troubadour was welcome back at the palace on feast days, albeit she
> had to sit at the servant's table. My father is a tenderhearted
> man, though he thinks no one knows it." Feeling homesick at this,
> she took Gwig's hand for a moment of comfort, then burst out
> "What, does our situation now strike you as funny, or does
> the Leomondian cure tickle?"
> "I just remembered a funny habit of Buttercup's when she has
> an unfamiliar rider. The first time that Barzac tries to ride her,
> she will wait about a quarter of an hour and then scrape him off
> under the first roof or low-lying tree limb she comes across. A new
> stablehand tried to steal her once and he was found a mile down the
> road with a broken ankle."
> "That's a pity then that we are here and he is there" Gwig
> grinned, "For I would dearly have liked to see that!"
> At their new, slower pace, the would not be reaching the
> next inn by nightfall, so Gwig looked around for a likely spot and
> finally picked an uphill clearing which afforded them a view of the
> road. This close to the Furiant Mountains, the air was already
> getting crisp at night. Gwig made a cheery fire and wrapped himself
> in his traveling cloak while Jucunda took the tent and their one
> remaining blanket. While Gwig reclined against a tree, prodding the
> fire with a long stick, Jucy was in the tent, applying the liniment
> he had given her.
> "Ugh!" she said, wrinkling her nose, "You neglected to tell
> me that this stuff smells like the breath of a diseased firedrake!"
> "Had I told you you would never have put it on. Rub in in
> well and the aroma will fade."
> She crawled out of the tent on her hands and knees, her
> generous belly almost scraping the ground. She considered the
> effort of standing up to walk the few feet to where Gwig was
> and instead crawled the rest of the way like a totthrough
> playing "horsie." She rolled over into a sitting position, legs
> apart, and began fanning her inner thoghs with the hem of her gown,
> to dissipate the fumes from the liniment. It was the original cream
> colored dress she had worn on the day of their departure, now
> filthy. Gwig watched her with a grin. She caught him and blushed,
> but also smiled.
> "Not much left of my royal decorum, is there Sir Gwig?"
> "Nay, it seems to me you show yourself a true princess by
> not going to pieces at the first sign of trouble. Every royal
> family is descended from some stalwart fellow bold enough to carve
> out a kingdom or wrest one away. But I have been thinking. Without
> our frippery, it may be best that we adopt a new guise for the
> nonce. I will be a soldier returning from the Northern wars. I am
> going to Ghaspar to book passage on a Southbound ship."
> "Then am I to be your "
> "So I am receiving a demotion." She said teasingly.
> "Aye and to keep up appearance, there will be no more
> ordering me about in public."
> "Then I shall have to order you about twice as much in
> private to catch up" she chuckled. They sat for a few minutes, just
> listening to the crackle of the fire. Gwig reached inside his pack
> and pulled out a stoppered flask.
> "That survival pack of yours appears bottomless. What is
> that? Another foul-smelling liniment?"
> "Much better than that" he said, putting the stopper out
> with his teeth, "This is Artabarian brandy. "Tis strong, so take
> only small sips." They passed the bottle back an forth and had
> drank off half of the sweet golden fiery stuff before Gwig replaced
> the cork and put the bottle away in his pack. With only a few
> strips of smoked venison in her stomach, the liquor was going to
> Jucunda's head, and causing her to lose some of her inhibitions.
> "Since there be no one here but thee and me," she
> began, "help me, Brother Gwig, for I need a man's point of view."
> "I'll do my best, Jucy my little sister."
> "Hast been with a large number of women? Surely it must be
> so, what with all your battle, and armies, and travels."
> "Perhaps not so many as you think, but aye, a few."
> "Any of my avoirdupois?"
> "Close to't" he murmured, thinking of a lady tavern owner in
> Polidor and a young widow on a caravan he once guarded.
> "Did it present any particular, er challenges?" she asked,
> somewhat flustered.
> "Nay, not if the man be put together like most and the woman
> be of reasonable agility. But in the even of problems, there is one
> arrangement said never to fail. "Tis said the Andamar Islanders use
> it exclusively. The men there prefer a woman with a very broad
> fundament and the women take great pains to cultivate one. When an
> islander husband is due to return from a boar hunt, his wife will
> retire to their marital bed and arrange herself thusly, so that his
> favorite part shall be the first thing he sees when he comes
> the door. She then settles in for a long wait." Jucunda let out athe
> giggle and pushed him playfully
> "That was never a true story!"
> "Wholly true," he said with mock seriousness, "Some Andamar
> women have been known to hold the position for three or four days,
> with female relatives bringing them food."
> "Well, I certainly hope the Sultan will not oft go boar
> hunting, for it sounds like it would be hard on the knees."
> Gwig fell silent again. The brandy was getting to him as
> well and the conversation had been straying into bawdy territory.
> He wondered what her parents would think if they could see this,
> although she clearly knew how all the parts went together. Despite
> Gwig's misgiving, Jucunda was ready to continue.
> "Hast any other advice then, as to how I can keep the Sultan
> happy in the manner of husbands and wives?" He thought for a long
> time of how to put matters more delicately and finally came up with
> the following analogy.
> "Jucy," he began, "what is your favorite thing to eat?"
> "Roast duck with cherry sauce, but `tis a cruel question to
> ask, when I've had nothing but a nibble of smoked venison and sit
> here, wasting away to nothing." For emphasis she playfully lifted
> her belly with both hands and then let it drop back into her lap.
> "Suppose then that you were about to be served roast duck
> with cherry sauce, and could smell it from the kitchen, then see
> dish brought in, then have it set before you, then watch it be
> carved. When you finally got to eat it would not the dish be even
> more savory for the waiting?" She had a faraway look in her eyes.
> "Yessss" she moaned, then snapped back to the
> present. "What has all that to do with pleasing my Sultan?"
> "You see, Jucy," continued Gwig, "In the doings of husbands
> and wives, the man experiences a certain "reward," which he greatly
> relishes. He is like a pig with an apple. An his wife let him, he
> will go straight to his "reward" in a metter of seconds. But if she
> be skillfull, she will draw out the meal, serving other dishes,
> making him wait for the roast duck with cherry sauce until he can
> stand it no longer and then, dinner is served!" Jucunda looked at
> him as if he had grown a second head.
> "So sex is like serving roast duck with cherry sauce to a
> pig with an apple?"
> "Exactly! He might even have a second helping. Moreover,
> the woman also experiences a "reward" and if he be a considerate
> husband he will see his wife is served before eating all of the
> roast duck with cherry sauce himself. Now does that clear things
> up?" Jucy burst out laughing, and continued, in full-throated,
> musical tones until tears streamed down her face and every part of
> her shook. This went on for a long time while Gwig sat there
> feeling like a pillock, his ears and face burning. Every time she
> seemed about to stop she erupted into fresh peals until she spent
> "Oh " she gasped "that was magnificent. She took his hand
> by way of reconciliation. "I'm sorry I led you along, but you must
> think me a right prat. Gwig, I have twelve older sisters, all of
> them now married. I have known about "rewards" for simply ages.
> Certes I am a virgin, but what made you think I have never
> been "rewarded?"
> "But then how?, I mean, with whom " he sputtered
> "Who said I was with anyone at all?" When it got hot, a
> groom of ours, with black hair, used to pitch hay with his shirt
> off, and like clockwork my sister Dorcas used to keep the whole
> dormitory awake on account of the creakiness of her bed frame. We
> were all of us acquainted with the "little man in the boat."
> With that, she rolled back onto her hands and knees and
> crawled back to the tent, giving him a final view reminiscent of an
> Andamar islander's homecoming.
> "I know what you are thinking," she called back to him
> through the tent flap, "I can SO reach it!"
- --- In email@example.com, "Yvette"
>Thank you. What did you like particularly about chapter 6? the way
> I enjoyed these chapters greatly Herod! Well done. I especially
> like chapter 6
that Jucy strung Gwig along, or just the overall naughtiness of it?
- The development of their relationship
--- In firstname.lastname@example.org, "Herod Antipas"
> --- In email@example.com, "Yvette"
> <yvette_n_chad@y...> wrote:
> > I enjoyed these chapters greatly Herod! Well done. I especially
> > like chapter 6
> Thank you. What did you like particularly about chapter 6? the way
> that Jucy strung Gwig along, or just the overall naughtiness of it?