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Chapter one of my novel

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  • excelsior34
    Anyone want to read the first chapter of my novel A Liar s Tale?
    Message 1 of 7 , Nov 30, 2005
      Anyone want to read the first chapter of my novel "A Liar's Tale?"
    • Herod Antipas
      ... Well of course!
      Message 2 of 7 , Dec 1, 2005
        --- In fantasyfictiondungeon@yahoogroups.com, excelsior34
        <no_reply@y...> wrote:
        >
        > Anyone want to read the first chapter of my novel "A Liar's Tale?"
        >


        Well of course!
      • excelsior34
        www.razor7.com - click on the link that says read chapter 1
        Message 3 of 7 , Dec 1, 2005
          www.razor7.com - click on the link that says read chapter 1


          --- In fantasyfictiondungeon@yahoogroups.com, "Herod Antipas"
          <antippas@h...> wrote:
          >
          > --- In fantasyfictiondungeon@yahoogroups.com, excelsior34
          > <no_reply@y...> wrote:
          > >
          > > Anyone want to read the first chapter of my novel "A Liar's Tale?"
          > >
          >
          >
          > Well of course!
          >
        • Herod Antipas
          Very intriguing. Are you looking for feedback or did you just want to get the word out? H.A. ... Tale?
          Message 4 of 7 , Dec 1, 2005
            Very intriguing. Are you looking for feedback or did you just want
            to get the word out?

            H.A.


            --- In fantasyfictiondungeon@yahoogroups.com, excelsior34
            <no_reply@y...> wrote:
            >
            > www.razor7.com - click on the link that says read chapter 1
            >
            >
            > --- In fantasyfictiondungeon@yahoogroups.com, "Herod Antipas"
            > <antippas@h...> wrote:
            > >
            > > --- In fantasyfictiondungeon@yahoogroups.com, excelsior34
            > > <no_reply@y...> wrote:
            > > >
            > > > Anyone want to read the first chapter of my novel "A Liar's
            Tale?"
            > > >
            > >
            > >
            > > Well of course!
            > >
            >
          • excelsior34
            Of course I want to get the word out, but I would love any and all feedback. I did make some changes in the editing process. ... want
            Message 5 of 7 , Dec 1, 2005
              Of course I want to get the word out, but I would love any and all
              feedback. I did make some changes in the editing process.

              --- In fantasyfictiondungeon@yahoogroups.com, "Herod Antipas"
              <antippas@h...> wrote:
              >
              > Very intriguing. Are you looking for feedback or did you just
              want
              > to get the word out?
              >
              > H.A.
              >
              >
              > --- In fantasyfictiondungeon@yahoogroups.com, excelsior34
              > <no_reply@y...> wrote:
              > >
              > > www.razor7.com - click on the link that says read chapter 1
              > >
              > >
              > > --- In fantasyfictiondungeon@yahoogroups.com, "Herod Antipas"
              > > <antippas@h...> wrote:
              > > >
              > > > --- In fantasyfictiondungeon@yahoogroups.com, excelsior34
              > > > <no_reply@y...> wrote:
              > > > >
              > > > > Anyone want to read the first chapter of my novel "A Liar's
              > Tale?"
              > > > >
              > > >
              > > >
              > > > Well of course!
              > > >
              > >
              >
            • Herod Antipas
              ... I liked it very much. There were only two minor issues I had. One was that the first line about the death of his grandmother is never followed up again,
              Message 6 of 7 , Dec 2, 2005
                --- In fantasyfictiondungeon@yahoogroups.com, excelsior34
                <no_reply@y...> wrote:
                >
                > Of course I want to get the word out, but I would love any and all
                > feedback. I did make some changes in the editing process.
                >

                I liked it very much. There were only two minor issues I had.

                One was that the first line about the death of his grandmother is
                never followed up again, so it seems like a throw-away.

                The other is that it is a suprise to the reader that the character
                is black. I don't mean this to sound racisit, as if it's not ok for
                him to be black, or that all black characters have to declare their
                race immediatly, but when his mother does the "black woman" thing,
                it came as a bit of a jarring note, I suppose because I (I believe
                like most readers) assume a white chacter when nothing else has been
                said.

                H.A.
              • excelsior34
                All of the things you mentioned are in fact plot points used later. It is in fact 13 chapers. ... all ... for ... their ... been
                Message 7 of 7 , Dec 2, 2005
                  All of the things you mentioned are in fact plot points used later.
                  It is in fact 13 chapers.

                  --- In fantasyfictiondungeon@yahoogroups.com, "Herod Antipas"
                  <antippas@h...> wrote:
                  >
                  > --- In fantasyfictiondungeon@yahoogroups.com, excelsior34
                  > <no_reply@y...> wrote:
                  > >
                  > > Of course I want to get the word out, but I would love any and
                  all
                  > > feedback. I did make some changes in the editing process.
                  > >
                  >
                  > I liked it very much. There were only two minor issues I had.
                  >
                  > One was that the first line about the death of his grandmother is
                  > never followed up again, so it seems like a throw-away.
                  >
                  > The other is that it is a suprise to the reader that the character
                  > is black. I don't mean this to sound racisit, as if it's not ok
                  for
                  > him to be black, or that all black characters have to declare
                  their
                  > race immediatly, but when his mother does the "black woman" thing,
                  > it came as a bit of a jarring note, I suppose because I (I believe
                  > like most readers) assume a white chacter when nothing else has
                  been
                  > said.
                  >
                  > H.A.
                  >
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