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Re: [XP] Refactoring is the problem

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  • Victor
    ... doubt and assume she means something different next time. This brings us back to a subject I had mentioned before: communication . The last time I
    Message 1 of 91 , Oct 1, 2006
      J. B. (Joe) Rainsberger said:

      > Since this isn't her conscious motivation, I need to give her the benefit of the
      doubt and assume she means something different next time.

      This brings us back to a subject I had mentioned before: communication .

      The last time I mentioned it, I got the response I am paraphrasing now: "We are all experts. We have no communications problems." My approach is: all of us have communications problems. Some of us are more aware than others. At the least, this is a good initial working assumption.

      To the point of the quotation above. Rather than giving her the benefit of the doubt, it might be more productive to give all of us, participant in many dialogs, the benefit of the doubt.

      The way to practice the benefit of the doubt is to ask for confirmation of what we understood, sometimes twice or more times, as our understanding of the conversation deepens. It might be useful to ask the questions in slightly different ways to cover as many angles as possible.

      There is also the part of "assume she means something different next time." The least assumptions the better. Why assume when we can ask?

      Then, there is the case that we are so stunned by our perception of the gap in communication, we don't even think about asking, or we don't know exactly what to ask. This is when we need some time off to think about the situation. My impression is that's best to make this time off explicit so the other party knows we are working on the subject. In these cases, it may be a good idea for the follow-up questions to be expressed in a tentative way to make clear that we are trying to communicate in an empathic way.

      Victor

      ----- Original Message -----
      From: J. B. Rainsberger
      To: extremeprogramming@yahoogroups.com
      Sent: Sunday, October 01, 2006 8:59 AM
      Subject: Re: [XP] Refactoring is the problem


      Ron Jeffries wrote:

      > An interesting question, which, in somewhat the spirit of Kent's
      > excellent video about personal fears, I'll answer sincerely and at
      > length. I'd sincerely like you to answer, if you can, why it /does/
      > bother you.

      Another part of this surfaced this morning.

      It bothers me because there is an implicit assumption that I am not
      trying to do my best to help the team succeed, when that is precisely
      why I did what I did. It's as though she would rather assume I was not
      trying to help, and she should know better.

      Now I realize that wasn't her conscious motivation at all, but I thought
      I would share this, as it hit me pretty hard this morning. Since this
      isn't her conscious motivation, I need to give her the benefit of the
      doubt and assume she means something different next time.
      --
      J. B. (Joe) Rainsberger :: http://www.jbrains.ca
      Your guide to software craftsmanship
      JUnit Recipes: Practical Methods for Programmer Testing
      2005 Gordon Pask Award for contribution Agile Software Practice




      [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
    • Adrian Howard
      ... Now *that* made me laugh out loud. Adrian
      Message 91 of 91 , Oct 7, 2006
        On 6 Oct 2006, at 18:08, Ron Jeffries wrote:

        > Hello, adrianh quietstars. We email macros have been trying hard to
        > give Ron a more human on line appearance, a task whose magnitude we
        > frankly find daunting. We are glad to hear that we have at least
        > been able to amuse you, which is more than he has ever done.

        Now *that* made me laugh out loud.

        Adrian
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