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Re: [XP] What "The Real-World" really mean...to you?

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  • yahoogroups@jhrothjr.com
    From: Marco Dorantes To: extremeprogramming@yahoogroups.com
    Message 1 of 17 , May 1, 2005
      From: "Marco Dorantes"
      <dorantesmarco.at.terra.com.mx@...>
      To: "extremeprogramming@yahoogroups.com"
      <extremeprogramming.at.yahoogroups.com@...>
      Sent: Friday, April 29, 2005 12:21 PM
      Subject: [XP] What "The Real-World" really mean...to you?


      > I would want to collect thoughts about what "The Real-World" means to
      > you.

      IME, "in the real world" is a euphemism for "your suggestion
      is hopelessly idealistic."

      John Roth
    • Phlip
      ... That is one of our Official Myths these days... (But I m Sensing, not iNtuiting!!;) -- Phlip
      Message 2 of 17 , May 1, 2005
        Laurent Bossavit wrote:

        > It's all one world

        That is one of our Official Myths these days...

        (But I'm Sensing, not iNtuiting!!;)

        --
        Phlip
      • Ramon Leon
        ... coincide. ... I have to totally agree with Ron here, every time I hear the phrase real world , it s the signal that the wall just went up and
        Message 3 of 17 , May 2, 2005
          > Hi Marco, and all,
          >
          > When I hear the phrase "the real world", it is usually in a context
          > like this one:
          >
          > "What you're saying is all very well in [some other world], but in
          > the real world it won't work [because]."
          >
          > "Some other world" might be "academia", or "small projects", or
          > "business projects", or anything that the speaker wants to use to
          > distinguish his situation from ones where what you're saying might
          > work.
          >
          > "Because" is often null: "it won't work, period." Or often it will
          > be "because our projects are more complex", or "we have a lot of
          > legacy code", or some other obstacle that the speaker is raising.
          >
          > So I hear the phrase "the real world" almost exclusively in a
          > context of resistance. The speaker is resisting some new idea that
          > has been offered, and does so by declaring the idea to be
          > inapplicable in "the real world", meaning "the world I live in
          > rather than that happy-slappy fantasy that you live in where people
          > work together and write tests and all that other impractical stuff
          > that real men don't have time for."
          >
          > Resistance, that's my diagnosis. Getting past or around it ... it
          > depends. Sometimes I'm good at that, often I'm not. That's when I
          > wish I knew more about what our good friend Dale Emery knows, and
          > did more of what he does.
          >
          > Ron Jeffries
          > www.XProgramming.com
          > Will Turner: This is either madness or brilliance.
          > Captain Jack Sparrow: It's remarkable how often those two traits
          coincide.
          >

          I have to totally agree with Ron here, "every" time I hear the phrase
          "real world", it's the signal that the wall just went up and
          communication just stopped. The "real world" to me means "I don't
          understand and I don't want too". It's a signal to back off; I'm
          probably pushing a little too hard, better to retreat and try another
          tactic later when the wall is back down.
        • Dale Emery
          Hi Ramon, ... Maybe stopped, maybe just paused for a moment. I think it s possible, in many cases, to resume the communication. I think that the key is to
          Message 4 of 17 , May 11, 2005
            Hi Ramon,

            > I have to totally agree with Ron here, "every" time I hear the
            > phrase "real world", it's the signal that the wall just went
            > up and communication just stopped.

            Maybe stopped, maybe just paused for a moment. I think it's
            possible, in many cases, to resume the communication. I think
            that the key is to listen with curiosity and empathy.

            > The "real world" to me means "I don't understand and I don't
            > want too". It's a signal to back off; I'm probably pushing a
            > little too hard, better to retreat and try another tactic
            > later when the wall is back down.

            I think that "real world" very likely means that I'm pushing too
            hard. I've found that there's a very good chance that the wall
            is of my own making, and that it's keeping me from listening
            deeply. If I'm listening mostly for information that I can use
            to press my idea, then I've put up a wall. In those cases, it's
            usually best to back off until I can find curiosity and empathy.

            Dale

            --
            Dale Emery, Consultant
            Inspiring Leadership for Software People
            Web: http://www.dhemery.com
            Weblog: http://www.dhemery.com/cwd

            All good books are alike in that they are truer than if they
            really happened. --Ernest Hemingway
          • Dale Emery
            Hi Ron and all, ... When this conversation started, I understood the real world the same way. It means something like my world . If someone tells me that
            Message 5 of 17 , May 12, 2005
              Hi Ron and all,

              > So I hear the phrase "the real world" almost exclusively in a
              > context of resistance. The speaker is resisting some new idea
              > that has been offered, and does so by declaring the idea to be
              > inapplicable in "the real world", meaning "the world I live
              > in rather than that happy-slappy fantasy that you live in
              > where people work together and write tests and all that other
              > impractical stuff that real men don't have time for."

              When this conversation started, I understood "the real world" the
              same way. It means something like "my world". If someone tells
              me that my ideas won't work in the real world, my initial
              interpretation is that they don't think my ideas will work in
              /their/ world. With that interpretation, I want to know more
              about their world, and about the differences and similarities
              between their world and mine. Maybe there are salient
              differences that I don't know about. Maybe there are salient
              similarities that they don't know about.

              My usual response to "that won't work in the real world" is to
              ask some form of, "What would keep it from working?"

              As I've thought about this over the past few weeks, I get the
              feeling that there's something more going on in the phrase "the
              real world". If "the real world" means nothing more than "the
              world as I see it", why wouldn't the person say "that won't work
              for me" (and perhaps continue with "because ...") instead of
              "that won't work in the real world"?

              I'm thinking that "the real world" is saying something more. My
              best guess at the moment is that the something more is "you
              aren't hearing the frustrations that I'm dealing with". If
              that's close to right, then this is not just about the
              frustrations (which I will want to learn about), but also about
              my hearing and acknowledging those frustrations. And also that
              the person is frustrated in the conversation about my lack of
              acknowledgment. And I'll bet that it's that lack of
              acknowledgment that's the primary block in the conversation.

              If that's what "the real world" means, then I might be able to
              further the conversation by saying something like, "It sounds as
              if you're frustrated because I'm not acknowledging the concerns
              that you're facing." It might be helpful to end with "... that
              you're facing in the real world" to acknowledge their reality.

              I don't remember who started this thread, but thank you, and all
              who have contributed, for nudging me to think more deeply about this.

              Dale

              --
              Dale Emery, Consultant
              Inspiring Leadership for Software People
              Web: http://www.dhemery.com
              Weblog: http://www.dhemery.com/cwd

              Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but
              getting what you have, which once you have it you may be smart
              enough to see is what you would have wanted had you known.
              --Garrison Keillor
            • Steve Bate
              ... Hi Dale, In the real world, the real world phrase might have quite different meanings depending on the context. I ve seen it used in the negative sense
              Message 6 of 17 , May 12, 2005
                > Dale Emery wrote:
                > When this conversation started, I understood "the real world" the
                > same way. It means something like "my world". If someone tells
                > me that my ideas won't work in the real world, my initial
                > interpretation is that they don't think my ideas will work in
                > /their/ world. With that interpretation, I want to know more
                > about their world, and about the differences and similarities
                > between their world and mine. Maybe there are salient
                > differences that I don't know about. Maybe there are salient
                > similarities that they don't know about.

                Hi Dale,

                In the real world, "the real world" phrase might have quite
                different meanings depending on the context. I've seen it used
                in the negative sense that many people here have described. I've
                also seen it used to highlight real and important issues that
                have nothing to do with frustration or lack of acknowledgement
                of one's personal world view.

                It's not uncommon for people to base their decisions and actions
                on a theoretical or hypothetical model of the world. As you
                know, models often neglect certain real world considerations
                and that can potentially be a problem. For example, a project
                plan is an activity model. Generally speaking, a manager who
                refuses to acknowledge any uncertainty in a plan or that the
                plan might need modification over time is not operating with
                a good grasp of "the real world" and its complexities. It's
                not my intent to communicate that this strategy won't work
                in /my/ world (implying it might work in their world,
                whatever that means). Of course, I'd back up my assertion
                that uncertainty exists in the real world by providing
                specific examples and encouraging further discussion.

                > My usual response to "that won't work in the real world" is to
                > ask some form of, "What would keep it from working?"

                I believe that's a good response. It keeps the conversation
                active.

                > As I've thought about this over the past few weeks, I get the
                > feeling that there's something more going on in the phrase "the
                > real world". If "the real world" means nothing more than "the
                > world as I see it", why wouldn't the person say "that won't work
                > for me" (and perhaps continue with "because ...") instead of
                > "that won't work in the real world"?

                I believe the phrase sometimes means what you describe above,
                but not always. It's sometimes an appeal to ground decisions
                in actual experience, presumably in shared experience.

                >...
                >
                > If that's what "the real world" means, then I might be able to
                > further the conversation by saying something like, "It sounds as
                > if you're frustrated because I'm not acknowledging the concerns
                > that you're facing." It might be helpful to end with "... that
                > you're facing in the real world" to acknowledge their reality.

                This will either work or make the other person very annoyed. :-)

                Steve
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