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Re: [XP] Motivation to Complete Stories

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  • Andrés Camilo Bustamante
    I believe that the more productive way of telling the truth depends on the organizations culture. In my experience, in large organizations it is often more
    Message 1 of 161 , Mar 31, 2005
      I believe that the more productive way of telling the truth depends on
      the organizations culture.

      In my experience, in large organizations it is often more productive
      to "coach" or to phrase the truth compared to a plain explanation of
      what's wrong. If you don't coach correctly, the result is often people
      getting into defense mode.

      On the other hand, in smaller organizations where people are more
      flexible, "phrasing" the truth too much is often perceived as blah,
      blah, blah. It is more productive to tell directly what's wrong.

      Again, that's my experience so far.


      On Thu, 31 Mar 2005 07:21:53 -0600, Ron Jeffries
      <ronjeffries@...> wrote:
      >
      > On Thursday, March 31, 2005, at 1:56:02 AM, Kent Beck wrote:
      >
      > > Do you ever get rug burns from flip-flopping this fast? "Don't hide" but
      > > "carefully couch". What if you just told the truth instead of wasting your
      > > time trying to control someone else's responses? If you "couch" your story
      > > just right will they really "manage" you in "productive ways"?
      >
      > Mr Beck,
      >
      > I am not flip-flopping: I am trying to explain carefully what I do
      > and how I do it.
      >
      > I do not hide: I try always to tell the truth as I understand it.
      > However, I try to phrase the truth (carefully couch it) in terms
      > that help the hearer to find productive ways to respond to the
      > true situation.
      >
      > > If the definition of safety is "won't get fired" then you'll never be safe.
      >
      > There's that recent saying: "Work like you don't need the money; love
      > like you've never been hurt; dance like no one is watching."
      >
      > I don't need the money, and I don't worry about being fired. I do
      > want to serve those I'm trying to help, and so I work with them from
      > truth, from commitment, and from passion, just as I believe you do.
      > I want continuity with my clients and my listeners here, not out of
      > fear, but because in that way we'll all learn and benefit.
      >
      > I'm getting better and better about love, but I still haven't
      > cracked the dancing thing at all.
      >
      > > The definition of safety I'm shooting for is "can be proud of how I behave".
      >
      > That's a good goal, and I share it. Personally, I don't equate "can
      > be proud of how I behave" with safety, I equate it with a good way
      > to live.
      >
      > Like most sinners, I can't always be proud of how I behave, but
      > mostly I can be, and I try always to do better.
      >
      > > "Carefully couching" is not something I am proud of. Telling the truth and
      > > then really listening to the response is something I am proud of (when I
      > > achieve it).
      >
      > I'm getting the impression here that "carefully couching" means
      > something to you that it does not to me. To "couch" means to phrase.
      > It does not mean to lie, deceive, or to warp the truth. It means to
      > express carefully.
      >
      > Again, I try always to tell the truth, and to express it in ways
      > that help the hearer to respond in productive ways.
      >
      > > Does telling the truth without belligerence make me unemployable? I hope
      > > not.
      >
      > I hope not also. As far as I know, no one has suggested that telling
      > the truth without belligerence makes one unemployable.
      >
      > I'm certainly not suggesting not telling the truth: I'm suggesting
      > telling the truth in ways that are most likely to lead to productive
      > results for all. We have a choice in how we phrase the truth. I
      > imagine that you choose your phrasing carefully, and I try to do so
      > as well.
      >
      > Nor am I suggesting belligerence.
      >
      > I think, therefore, that we are both suggesting telling the truth
      > without belligerence. I'm also suggesting that people tell the truth
      > carefully for most productive effect.
      >
      > What are your views on ways to tell the truth so that it can best be
      > heard?
      >
      > Ron Jeffries
      > www.XProgramming.com
      > Not only does I deny the allegation, I denies the alligator.
      > -- The Kingfish
      >
      >
      > To Post a message, send it to: extremeprogramming@...
      >
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      >
      >
      >


      --
      Andrés Camilo Bustamante
      Ingeniero de Sistemas
      Oficina +57 (4) 435-5653
      Movil +57 (3) 315-4963530
    • Ilja Preuss
      ... Good point, thanks! I suspect that, again, this isn t black or white, but that there is a balance somewhere. Need to muse about it... Regards, Ilja
      Message 161 of 161 , Apr 22, 2005
        extremeprogramming@yahoogroups.com wrote:
        > Ilja,
        >
        > Sometimes it feels nice being around people who know my
        > quirks and are willing to cut me slack around them. But, I
        > learn more and grow around people who expect me to manage
        > myself and my reactions.

        Good point, thanks!

        I suspect that, again, this isn't black or white, but that there is a
        balance somewhere. Need to muse about it...

        Regards, Ilja
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