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Re: [XP] Re: Education and habits, comfort, familiarity, projected image

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  • Keith Ray
    ... A good start on all three is attending AYE Amplifying Your Effectiveness I really regret not going to it this year; I
    Message 1 of 207 , Dec 1, 2004
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      > making more money, being more effective, or having more impact with
      > your ideas?

      A good start on all three is attending AYE "Amplifying Your
      I really regret not going to it this year; I didn't meet Tim Lister and
      I didn't renew contact with James Bach, Jerry Weinberg, Johanna
      Rothman, Esther Derby, and others.

      quotes from the AYE web-site:
      AYE is a conference that's designed to increase your effectiveness --
      in leadership, coaching, managing, influencing, and working in teams.
      Our conference and our sessions are small -- to promote interaction
      among participants and hosts and to allow in-depth exploration of the
      problems facing such professionals.
      Through facilitated discussion, presentations and simulations, session
      hosts will engage participants in exploring the issues that are
      obstacles to effectiveness.
      You will not sit passively listening to lectures.
      We're looking for participants who will participate. You will become an
      integral part of the session by asking questions, sharing experiences,
      and participating in hands-on, interactive exercises. By participating,
      you will discover how to bring home solutions to some of your toughest

      C. Keith Ray

      [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
    • Dale Emery
      Hi Alistair, A few months ago you referred to Virginia Satir s phrase, People ... My initial reaction, reading this two months ago, was that it doesn t
      Message 207 of 207 , Jan 15, 2005
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        Hi Alistair,

        A few months ago you referred to Virginia Satir's phrase, "People
        prefer familiarity to comfort." You wrote:

        > I don't know about you, but that phrase, besides ringing true,
        > frightens the bejeebers out of me. I think that's the biggest
        > thing we're up against.

        My initial reaction, reading this two months ago, was that it
        doesn't frighten me at all. Given that I'm always advocating one
        change or another, I wasn't sure why it didn't frighten me. So
        I've been pondering.

        I think it doesn't frighten me because my persuasion style
        (developed over many years and still evolving) includes to make
        change familiar to people. I never thought about the things I do
        in those terms until I read your message, but as I look at how I
        nudge people toward change, some of it is about making the
        unfamiliar familiar.

        Here's an example of one of my nudges:

        I wasn't advocating any particular change in that situation, but
        my questions had the effect, I think, of framing Susan's problem
        so that it was suddenly very familiar to her, and then she knew
        exactly how to solve it.

        Another example:

        As I look at that story now, I think that Paul's epiphany at the
        end was largely about suddenly reframing his customer relations
        issue in a familiar light. And he knew what to do.

        Another example: What finally convinced me to try TDD and simple
        design myself was watching Alan Shalloway demonstrate how the
        rules of simple design can (sometimes) generate well-known design
        patterns. I had a little familiarity with design patterns, so
        Alan's brilliant demonstration had the effect of making something
        strange (designs can /emerge/?!) into something familiar.

        Another example of something I do often: find safe ways for
        people to try whatever I'm advocating. A small demonstration,
        maybe, or a "toy" situation to practice on, where failure doesn't
        matter. Making it safe for people to try the new idea in a small
        way nudges them to get a teeny tiny bit of experience, from which
        the new idea becomes a teeny tiny bit more familiar. Stories
        (like the ones I linked to above) can make new ideas more familiar.

        You're a pretty effective change artist, so I'll bet that a lot
        of what you do is also about helping people to find something
        familiar in something new. How have you persuaded people
        effectively in the past? Did any of that have anything to do
        with making change more familiar?

        So this idea is now in the back of my mind: If we attend
        purposefully to the idea that familiarity matters, what new ideas
        might that give us for how to encourage change?



        Dale Emery, Consultant
        Inspiring Leadership for Software People
        Web: http://www.dhemery.com
        Weblog: http://www.dhemery.com/cwd

        One half the troubles of this life can be traced to saying "yes"
        too quick, and not saying "no" soon enough. --Josh Billings
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