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Re: [XP] Re: Education and habits, comfort, familiarity, projected image

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  • Dominic Williams
    ... Very much. Although I personally lack them in varying degrees, I have great respect for some of the qualities I think are required of salespeople: social
    Message 1 of 207 , Dec 1, 2004
      Larry Brunelle wrote:

      > But I believe very many of us still think, or like to
      > think, that we may avoid "all that sales BS".
      > [...]
      > Does this resonate with anybody?

      Very much.

      Although I personally lack them in varying degrees, I
      have great respect for some of the qualities I think
      are required of salespeople: social qualities
      (networking, conversation, humour, tact, respect),
      communication (empathy, listening, ...) So I am
      interested in improving my ability in these
      areas. Nevertheless, at the present time, if I needed
      to sell, for example if I were to start my own company,
      I would certainly seek a partner who is naturally more
      talented in them.

      I would like to think, however, that it would not be
      necessary, in order to be successful, to resort to
      sales practices that I observe to be very common and
      which I despise (I think "manipulation" would be an
      appropriate summary, or your own term, BS).

      It would be reassuring to hear from people who can
      confirm that this can work :)

      Regards,

      Dominic Williams
      http://www.dominicwilliams.net

      ----
    • Dale Emery
      Hi Alistair, A few months ago you referred to Virginia Satir s phrase, People ... My initial reaction, reading this two months ago, was that it doesn t
      Message 207 of 207 , Jan 15, 2005
        Hi Alistair,

        A few months ago you referred to Virginia Satir's phrase, "People
        prefer familiarity to comfort." You wrote:

        > I don't know about you, but that phrase, besides ringing true,
        > frightens the bejeebers out of me. I think that's the biggest
        > thing we're up against.

        My initial reaction, reading this two months ago, was that it
        doesn't frighten me at all. Given that I'm always advocating one
        change or another, I wasn't sure why it didn't frighten me. So
        I've been pondering.

        I think it doesn't frighten me because my persuasion style
        (developed over many years and still evolving) includes to make
        change familiar to people. I never thought about the things I do
        in those terms until I read your message, but as I look at how I
        nudge people toward change, some of it is about making the
        unfamiliar familiar.

        Here's an example of one of my nudges:
        http://www.dhemery.com/cwd/2003/12/a_story_of_resistance_resolved.html

        I wasn't advocating any particular change in that situation, but
        my questions had the effect, I think, of framing Susan's problem
        so that it was suddenly very familiar to her, and then she knew
        exactly how to solve it.

        Another example:
        http://www.dhemery.com/cwd/2003/05/after_all_weve_done_for_them.html

        As I look at that story now, I think that Paul's epiphany at the
        end was largely about suddenly reframing his customer relations
        issue in a familiar light. And he knew what to do.

        Another example: What finally convinced me to try TDD and simple
        design myself was watching Alan Shalloway demonstrate how the
        rules of simple design can (sometimes) generate well-known design
        patterns. I had a little familiarity with design patterns, so
        Alan's brilliant demonstration had the effect of making something
        strange (designs can /emerge/?!) into something familiar.

        Another example of something I do often: find safe ways for
        people to try whatever I'm advocating. A small demonstration,
        maybe, or a "toy" situation to practice on, where failure doesn't
        matter. Making it safe for people to try the new idea in a small
        way nudges them to get a teeny tiny bit of experience, from which
        the new idea becomes a teeny tiny bit more familiar. Stories
        (like the ones I linked to above) can make new ideas more familiar.

        You're a pretty effective change artist, so I'll bet that a lot
        of what you do is also about helping people to find something
        familiar in something new. How have you persuaded people
        effectively in the past? Did any of that have anything to do
        with making change more familiar?

        So this idea is now in the back of my mind: If we attend
        purposefully to the idea that familiarity matters, what new ideas
        might that give us for how to encourage change?

        Thanks!

        Dale

        --
        Dale Emery, Consultant
        Inspiring Leadership for Software People
        Web: http://www.dhemery.com
        Weblog: http://www.dhemery.com/cwd

        One half the troubles of this life can be traced to saying "yes"
        too quick, and not saying "no" soon enough. --Josh Billings
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