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Re: [exordium-l] Ex e-books

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  • Brian York
    ... Ok, I now have my little list. Mostly really minor continuity issues, and a few bits of proofreading (which I ll include later if you d like them).
    Message 1 of 20 , Nov 7, 2009
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      On Sunday, October 25, 2009, Sherwood@... (Sherwood Smith) wrote:

      >Dave and I have decided to actively pursue the scanning of the
      >books, after which we're each going to make a pass at tweaking
      >the text, like I'm going to make the beginning a tad more
      >accessible. There are a couple of other continuity bits that we
      >want to fix that had escaped us when we were writing the later
      >books and the first was already in print.
      >
      >If there's any question, fumble, tech tweak, or whatever that's
      >been bugging any of you, now is the time to bring it up!

      Ok, I now have my little list. Mostly really minor continuity
      issues, and a few bits of proofreading (which I'll include later
      if you'd like them).

      Telvarna's Jacs:
      Phoenix in Flight, p. 336: Brandon, going to plunder
      the Palace Minor, are equipped with Dogstar LVI jacs

      Ruler of Naught, p. 176: Just before entering Granny
      Chang's, Osri is equipped with a Dogstar LVIII jac

      The High Admiral:
      In all books *except* book 5, the name is given as
      "Padraic Carr"

      In Book 5, p. 63, it's "Osirus ban-Carr"


      Which Panarch?
      The Thrones of Kronos, p. 321: Brandon is described as
      the 48th Panarch

      The Rifter's Covenant, Dramatis Personae, p. xi: Gelasaar
      is described as the 46th Panarch.

      Elsewhere, Brandon is the "47th of the ruling line", or
      the result of 47 generations of absolute power, so it seems
      as if the "48th" part is in error here.

      The Pax Romana
      The Thrones of Kronos:
      p. 462: In the Kelly report from asteroid Rouge-Nord
      Seven, the Pax Romana is listed as damaged but functional
      (an active Panarchist Battlecruiser)

      p. 490: The asteroid which Nukiel is guarding has as
      its tug the remains of the Pax Romana, battered into
      near scrap in the Ujima system.

      Were there two such Battlecruisers?

      The Lance attack on the Suneater
      The Thrones of Kronos:
      pp. 408-409: Juvast turns the array back, to find 3
      lances inbound.

      p. 441: "Lances have penetrated the station in three
      places." Implied that 3 lances made it in.

      p. 443: Stiletto was destroyed when its interface was
      lost moments before impact. This is described as the
      loss of 1/3 of their effectiveness (1 of 3 lances didn't
      make it in, so 2 made it in).

      The plot makes it clear that 1 of the 3 lances was lost
      when it tried to penetrate the Suneater, so I think it's
      the report on p. 441 which is a bit ambiguous.

      Finally, the big one, which I'm going to take a bit of time on
      -- the argument on p. 219 over whether the Panarchists have a
      hyperwave. It seems as if that argument is based on a few
      points, and I don't see how they allow the conclusion to be drawn.

      - a sound was detected from the hyperwaves
      - it matches the signature of punching a hole through quantumplast
      - no other hyperwave or hyperrelay has been destroyed in
      all of the battles so far

      Therefore, the Panarchists have a hyperwave

      In fact, the item destroyed was a hyperrelay, provided by
      Lochiel (and crew), and since their defection wasn't a secret
      (after all, their hyperrelay was shut down remotely), why does
      the fact that the Panarchists (who are *known* to have at least
      one hyperrelay (along with, presumably, the quantum interfaces
      which were used to control it)) destroyed a piece of Urian
      technology (which in fact wasn't a hyperwave) necessarily imply
      that they have a hyperwave? I can think of a few possibilities,
      but it would be nice to have something actually mentioned in the
      book, because this scene jolts me out of the book every time I
      read it.

      Possibilities:

      1. Lysanter's analysis found an "aftershock" in the sound (i.e.
      the main sound when the hyperwave was destroyed, and then an
      echo when the light cone from the destruction intersected the
      hyperwave at Ares). Conclusion: there was a hyperwave within a
      few light-minutes of the destruction of the hyperrelay, thus the
      Panarchists have a hyperwave.

      2. The hyperwaves wouldn't have reacted to the destruction of
      the hyperrelay if there hadn't been at least one hyperwave close
      by (presumably this could be tested). Then, as 1.

      -Brian
      --
      Brian York <polemarkh@...>
      Proud Member of the Society for the Conservation of Angular Momentum
      Visit the society web site at <http://briany.chaosnet.org/bio/scam.html>
      Or visit my web site at <http://briany.chaosnet.org/>
    • Dave Trowbridge
      Wow! Thanks, Brian! Much appreciated. (Just the idea that people have read the series that closely is a big egoboo.) Considering how we kept track of things
      Message 2 of 20 , Nov 7, 2009
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        Wow! Thanks, Brian! Much appreciated. (Just the idea that people have read
        the series that closely is a big egoboo.)

        Considering how we kept track of things (in our heads, for the most part),
        I'm amazed there aren't more problems like this.

        Dave Trowbridge
        "Lord, if I be not a knife among the utensils of the spiritual house, make
        me a whetstone." (John Rutty, 18th Century Quaker)


        On Sat, Nov 7, 2009 at 8:14 AM, Brian York <polemarkh@...> wrote:

        >
        >
        > On Sunday, October 25, 2009, Sherwood@... <Sherwood%40sff.net>(Sherwood Smith) wrote:
        >
        > >Dave and I have decided to actively pursue the scanning of the
        > >books, after which we're each going to make a pass at tweaking
        > >the text, like I'm going to make the beginning a tad more
        > >accessible. There are a couple of other continuity bits that we
        > >want to fix that had escaped us when we were writing the later
        > >books and the first was already in print.
        > >
        > >If there's any question, fumble, tech tweak, or whatever that's
        > >been bugging any of you, now is the time to bring it up!
        >
        > Ok, I now have my little list. Mostly really minor continuity
        > issues, and a few bits of proofreading (which I'll include later
        > if you'd like them).
        >
        > Telvarna's Jacs:
        > Phoenix in Flight, p. 336: Brandon, going to plunder
        > the Palace Minor, are equipped with Dogstar LVI jacs
        >
        > Ruler of Naught, p. 176: Just before entering Granny
        > Chang's, Osri is equipped with a Dogstar LVIII jac
        >
        > The High Admiral:
        > In all books *except* book 5, the name is given as
        > "Padraic Carr"
        >
        > In Book 5, p. 63, it's "Osirus ban-Carr"
        >
        > Which Panarch?
        > The Thrones of Kronos, p. 321: Brandon is described as
        > the 48th Panarch
        >
        > The Rifter's Covenant, Dramatis Personae, p. xi: Gelasaar
        > is described as the 46th Panarch.
        >
        > Elsewhere, Brandon is the "47th of the ruling line", or
        > the result of 47 generations of absolute power, so it seems
        > as if the "48th" part is in error here.
        >
        > The Pax Romana
        > The Thrones of Kronos:
        > p. 462: In the Kelly report from asteroid Rouge-Nord
        > Seven, the Pax Romana is listed as damaged but functional
        > (an active Panarchist Battlecruiser)
        >
        > p. 490: The asteroid which Nukiel is guarding has as
        > its tug the remains of the Pax Romana, battered into
        > near scrap in the Ujima system.
        >
        > Were there two such Battlecruisers?
        >
        > The Lance attack on the Suneater
        > The Thrones of Kronos:
        > pp. 408-409: Juvast turns the array back, to find 3
        > lances inbound.
        >
        > p. 441: "Lances have penetrated the station in three
        > places." Implied that 3 lances made it in.
        >
        > p. 443: Stiletto was destroyed when its interface was
        > lost moments before impact. This is described as the
        > loss of 1/3 of their effectiveness (1 of 3 lances didn't
        > make it in, so 2 made it in).
        >
        > The plot makes it clear that 1 of the 3 lances was lost
        > when it tried to penetrate the Suneater, so I think it's
        > the report on p. 441 which is a bit ambiguous.
        >
        > Finally, the big one, which I'm going to take a bit of time on
        > -- the argument on p. 219 over whether the Panarchists have a
        > hyperwave. It seems as if that argument is based on a few
        > points, and I don't see how they allow the conclusion to be drawn.
        >
        > - a sound was detected from the hyperwaves
        > - it matches the signature of punching a hole through quantumplast
        > - no other hyperwave or hyperrelay has been destroyed in
        > all of the battles so far
        >
        > Therefore, the Panarchists have a hyperwave
        >
        > In fact, the item destroyed was a hyperrelay, provided by
        > Lochiel (and crew), and since their defection wasn't a secret
        > (after all, their hyperrelay was shut down remotely), why does
        > the fact that the Panarchists (who are *known* to have at least
        > one hyperrelay (along with, presumably, the quantum interfaces
        > which were used to control it)) destroyed a piece of Urian
        > technology (which in fact wasn't a hyperwave) necessarily imply
        > that they have a hyperwave? I can think of a few possibilities,
        > but it would be nice to have something actually mentioned in the
        > book, because this scene jolts me out of the book every time I
        > read it.
        >
        > Possibilities:
        >
        > 1. Lysanter's analysis found an "aftershock" in the sound (i.e.
        > the main sound when the hyperwave was destroyed, and then an
        > echo when the light cone from the destruction intersected the
        > hyperwave at Ares). Conclusion: there was a hyperwave within a
        > few light-minutes of the destruction of the hyperrelay, thus the
        > Panarchists have a hyperwave.
        >
        > 2. The hyperwaves wouldn't have reacted to the destruction of
        > the hyperrelay if there hadn't been at least one hyperwave close
        > by (presumably this could be tested). Then, as 1.
        >
        > -Brian
        >
        > --
        > Brian York <polemarkh@... <polemarkh%40gmail.com>>
        > Proud Member of the Society for the Conservation of Angular Momentum
        > Visit the society web site at <http://briany.chaosnet.org/bio/scam.html>
        > Or visit my web site at <http://briany.chaosnet.org/>
        >
        >
        >


        [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
      • Christopher Weuve
        ... There s functional, and then there s functional. This one doesn t bother me so much -- the ship has to be functional enough to use as a tug, which is
        Message 3 of 20 , Nov 11, 2009
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          On Nov 7, 2009, at 11:14 AM, Brian York wrote:

          > The Pax Romana
          > The Thrones of Kronos:
          > p. 462: In the Kelly report from asteroid Rouge-Nord
          > Seven, the Pax Romana is listed as damaged but functional
          > (an active Panarchist Battlecruiser)
          >
          > p. 490: The asteroid which Nukiel is guarding has as
          > its tug the remains of the Pax Romana, battered into
          > near scrap in the Ujima system.
          >
          > Were there two such Battlecruisers?


          There's functional, and then there's functional. This one doesn't
          bother me so much -- the ship has to be functional enough to use as a
          tug, which is non-trivial.

          chrisw

          PS: I am reminded of what Arius and I told Dave while playtesting the
          game -- no author should be condemned to having game designers go over
          his work. Arius and I were both very impressed by how well it all
          held together.
        • Brian York
          On Wednesday, November 11, 2009, caw@kentaurus.com (Christopher ... Yes, although from the descriptions, it sounds as if this battlecruiser is at two different
          Message 4 of 20 , Nov 11, 2009
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            On Wednesday, November 11, 2009, caw@... (Christopher
            Weuve) wrote:

            >On Nov 7, 2009, at 11:14 AM, Brian York wrote:
            >
            >>The Pax Romana
            >>The Thrones of Kronos:
            >>p. 462: In the Kelly report from asteroid Rouge-Nord
            >>Seven, the Pax Romana is listed as damaged but functional
            >>(an active Panarchist Battlecruiser)
            >>
            >>p. 490: The asteroid which Nukiel is guarding has as
            >>its tug the remains of the Pax Romana, battered into
            >>near scrap in the Ujima system.
            >>
            >>Were there two such Battlecruisers?
            >
            >
            >There's functional, and then there's functional. This one
            >doesn't bother me so much -- the ship has to be functional
            >enough to use as a tug, which is non-trivial.

            Yes, although from the descriptions, it sounds as if this
            battlecruiser is at two different asteroids -- at one, it's
            *guarding* the asteroid tug, at the other it *is* the tug. I
            think it's just a matter of accidentally re-using the name here.

            >PS: I am reminded of what Arius and I told Dave while
            >playtesting the game -- no author should be condemned to
            >having game designers go over his work. Arius and I were both
            >very impressed by how well it all held together.

            Absolutely. Having read over things in depth, this and half a
            dozen typos are all that I found. Remarkably consistent.

            -Brian
            --
            Brian York <polemarkh@...>
            Proud Member of the Society for the Conservation of Angular Momentum
            Visit the society web site at <http://briany.chaosnet.org/bio/scam.html>
            Or visit my web site at <http://briany.chaosnet.org/>
          • Dave Trowbridge
            The consistency is all the more surprising since we didn t have a Domesday Book for the series. Much kudos to the Tor copy editor, too. Dave Trowbridge
            Message 5 of 20 , Nov 11, 2009
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              The consistency is all the more surprising since we didn't have a "Domesday
              Book" for the series.

              Much kudos to the Tor copy editor, too.

              Dave Trowbridge
              "Lord, if I be not a knife among the utensils of the spiritual house, make
              me a whetstone." (John Rutty, 18th Century Quaker)


              On Wed, Nov 11, 2009 at 6:36 AM, Brian York <polemarkh@...> wrote:

              >
              >
              > On Wednesday, November 11, 2009, caw@... <caw%40kentaurus.com>(Christopher
              > Weuve) wrote:
              >
              > >On Nov 7, 2009, at 11:14 AM, Brian York wrote:
              > >
              > >>The Pax Romana
              > >>The Thrones of Kronos:
              > >>p. 462: In the Kelly report from asteroid Rouge-Nord
              > >>Seven, the Pax Romana is listed as damaged but functional
              > >>(an active Panarchist Battlecruiser)
              > >>
              > >>p. 490: The asteroid which Nukiel is guarding has as
              > >>its tug the remains of the Pax Romana, battered into
              > >>near scrap in the Ujima system.
              > >>
              > >>Were there two such Battlecruisers?
              > >
              > >
              > >There's functional, and then there's functional. This one
              > >doesn't bother me so much -- the ship has to be functional
              > >enough to use as a tug, which is non-trivial.
              >
              > Yes, although from the descriptions, it sounds as if this
              > battlecruiser is at two different asteroids -- at one, it's
              > *guarding* the asteroid tug, at the other it *is* the tug. I
              > think it's just a matter of accidentally re-using the name here.
              >
              >
              > >PS: I am reminded of what Arius and I told Dave while
              > >playtesting the game -- no author should be condemned to
              > >having game designers go over his work. Arius and I were both
              > >very impressed by how well it all held together.
              >
              > Absolutely. Having read over things in depth, this and half a
              > dozen typos are all that I found. Remarkably consistent.
              >
              >
              > -Brian
              > --
              > Brian York <polemarkh@... <polemarkh%40gmail.com>>
              > Proud Member of the Society for the Conservation of Angular Momentum
              > Visit the society web site at <http://briany.chaosnet.org/bio/scam.html>
              > Or visit my web site at <http://briany.chaosnet.org/>
              >
              >
              >


              [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
            • Sherwood Smith
              Dave, here is a first pass at Phoenix. Hope you are having a lovely Christmas! Your prezzie should be there by next week. S. [Non-text portions of this message
              Message 6 of 20 , Dec 25, 2009
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                Dave, here is a first pass at Phoenix.

                Hope you are having a lovely Christmas! Your prezzie should be there by next
                week.

                S.


                [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
              • Sherwood Smith
                Dang it, I did that wrong. Please delete, people on list! That was supposed to go to Dave . . . this is what I get for working on three hours of sleep ...
                Message 7 of 20 , Dec 25, 2009
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                  Dang it, I did that wrong. Please delete, people on list!

                  That was supposed to go to Dave . . . this is what I get for working on three hours of sleep

                  ----- Original Message -----
                  From: Sherwood Smith
                  To: exordium-l@yahoogroups.com
                  Sent: Friday, December 25, 2009 1:42 PM
                  Subject: [exordium-l] Ex e-books




                  Dave, here is a first pass at Phoenix.

                  Hope you are having a lovely Christmas! Your prezzie should be there by next
                  week.

                  S.

                  [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]





                  [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
                • Michael Llaneza
                  It s good news, we don t mind. ... -- Veteran, Bermuda Triangle Expeditionary Force, 1993-1951
                  Message 8 of 20 , Dec 25, 2009
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                    It's good news, we don't mind.

                    On Dec 25, 2009, at 2:21 PM, Sherwood Smith wrote:

                    > Dang it, I did that wrong. Please delete, people on list!
                    >
                    > That was supposed to go to Dave . . . this is what I get for working on three hours of sleep
                    >
                    > ----- Original Message -----
                    > From: Sherwood Smith
                    > To: exordium-l@yahoogroups.com
                    > Sent: Friday, December 25, 2009 1:42 PM
                    > Subject: [exordium-l] Ex e-books
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    > Dave, here is a first pass at Phoenix.
                    >
                    > Hope you are having a lovely Christmas! Your prezzie should be there by next
                    > week.
                    >
                    > S.
                    >
                    > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
                    >
                    >
                    >
                    > ------------------------------------
                    >
                    > Yahoo! Groups Links
                    >
                    >
                    >

                    --
                    Veteran, Bermuda Triangle Expeditionary Force, 1993-1951
                  • Christopher Weuve
                    Here here. New improved _Phoenix_? chrisw
                    Message 9 of 20 , Dec 27, 2009
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                      Here here.

                      New improved _Phoenix_?

                      chrisw


                      On Dec 25, 2009, at 5:26 PM, Michael Llaneza wrote:

                      > It's good news, we don't mind.
                      >
                      > On Dec 25, 2009, at 2:21 PM, Sherwood Smith wrote:
                      >
                      >> Dang it, I did that wrong. Please delete, people on list!
                      >>
                      >> That was supposed to go to Dave . . . this is what I get for
                      >> working on three hours of sleep
                      >>
                      >> ----- Original Message -----
                      >> From: Sherwood Smith
                      >> To: exordium-l@yahoogroups.com
                      >> Sent: Friday, December 25, 2009 1:42 PM
                      >> Subject: [exordium-l] Ex e-books
                      >>
                      >>
                      >>
                      >>
                      >> Dave, here is a first pass at Phoenix.
                      >>
                      >> Hope you are having a lovely Christmas! Your prezzie should be
                      >> there by next
                      >> week.
                      >>
                      >> S.
                      >>
                      >> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
                      >>
                      >>
                      >>
                      >>
                      >>
                      >> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
                      >>
                      >>
                      >>
                      >> ------------------------------------
                      >>
                      >> Yahoo! Groups Links
                      >>
                      >>
                      >>
                      >
                      > --
                      > Veteran, Bermuda Triangle Expeditionary Force, 1993-1951
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      > ------------------------------------
                      >
                      > Yahoo! Groups Links
                      >
                      >
                      >
                      >
                    • Sherwood Smith
                      First pass, anyway! ... From: Christopher Weuve To: exordium-l@yahoogroups.com Sent: Sunday, December 27, 2009 5:52 AM Subject: Re: [exordium-l] Ex e-books
                      Message 10 of 20 , Dec 27, 2009
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                        First pass, anyway!

                        ----- Original Message -----
                        From: Christopher Weuve
                        To: exordium-l@yahoogroups.com
                        Sent: Sunday, December 27, 2009 5:52 AM
                        Subject: Re: [exordium-l] Ex e-books



                        Here here.

                        New improved _Phoenix_?

                        chrisw

                        On Dec 25, 2009, at 5:26 PM, Michael Llaneza wrote:

                        > It's good news, we don't mind.
                        >
                        > On Dec 25, 2009, at 2:21 PM, Sherwood Smith wrote:
                        >
                        >> Dang it, I did that wrong. Please delete, people on list!
                        >>
                        >> That was supposed to go to Dave . . . this is what I get for
                        >> working on three hours of sleep
                        >>
                        >> ----- Original Message -----
                        >> From: Sherwood Smith
                        >> To: exordium-l@yahoogroups.com
                        >> Sent: Friday, December 25, 2009 1:42 PM
                        >> Subject: [exordium-l] Ex e-books
                        >>
                        >>
                        >>
                        >>
                        >> Dave, here is a first pass at Phoenix.
                        >>
                        >> Hope you are having a lovely Christmas! Your prezzie should be
                        >> there by next
                        >> week.
                        >>
                        >> S.
                        >>
                        >> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
                        >>
                        >>
                        >>
                        >>
                        >>
                        >> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
                        >>
                        >>
                        >>
                        >> ------------------------------------
                        >>
                        >> Yahoo! Groups Links
                        >>
                        >>
                        >>
                        >
                        > --
                        > Veteran, Bermuda Triangle Expeditionary Force, 1993-1951
                        >
                        >
                        >
                        > ------------------------------------
                        >
                        > Yahoo! Groups Links
                        >
                        >
                        >
                        >





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