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Re: Existentialism and dating

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  • Jim Aiden
    I m not going to shoot you down for this comment, but it does
    Message 1 of 28 , Dec 3, 2001
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      << women are, on the whole, not rational beings, and the ones that
      are are often lesbians- >>

      I'm not going to shoot you down for this comment, but it does seem
      a rather simplistic approach. Rather I thought about it over the
      weekend and in true keeping with my 'beliefs' I approached it as
      a 'what if' truth.

      You see since I seem to believe that our sense of 'a priori' logic
      are the function of our emotions, and they of course a symptom of
      chemical reaction... then what you say almost makes sense. Men and
      women have slightly different chemical activity. What might seem
      logical or important to a man, might not seem so to a woman and vice
      versa.

      Let me go off the road for a second......

      As someone that is into bodybuilding I often shave or wax most of
      my body free of hair. Despite all the easy jokes that surround such a
      supposedly feminine activity, I usually find the opposite sex by far
      prefers a well groomed man.

      I was watching this program on discovery on Sunday about mating
      habits (something that's been on my mind quite a bit the last week).
      One of the creatures they discussed was the Wolf Spider. Apparently
      the females of this species prefer males that have very hair legs.

      So here is my question (or answer?). There is no right or wrong
      logic to whether a female (or male for that matter) is correct. They
      simply are. The male is still somewhat dominate therefore female
      behavior is still deemed irratic. I do not think male behavior is any
      more rational unless one defines rational as young, 20th century,
      caucasion, urban professional male. Hmmm... Why stop even there?
      Let's forget middle class.... dominant social class.

      What I'm trying to say is I certainly don't understand most woman
      but then again I don't understand my own behavior too much. I don't
      view myself as particularily rational to some ideal standard. We each
      are rational to our own inner view of what is logical and our
      experiences. I know of no experts... only cute tricks (like Mensa). I
      do not think philosophical intelligence can be measured until a
      common agreement is found as to what that term encompasses.

      Is it rational for me to wax my chest or even bodybuild for that
      matter? Maybe, if my objective is to appear attractive to certain
      types of females. Is it rational that those thoughts should consume
      space in my mind? Depends who you talk to. The independent moralistic
      types might say it is a sign of a shallow individual. Personally I
      view it as I want to be able to be selective of a partner and
      maintaining an athletic physique makes that job that much easier. I'd
      prefer not to waste the two hours a day and 250 dollars a week in
      food on such trivial activity, but that seems the way of things.
      Having a suitable mate seems important enough to me. (Just as an
      aside... now that I've been doing it a while, I've discovered other
      maginal benefits like feeling healthy :)

      In the end, I can find no rationalism in wanting to be desirable.
      Or wanting to procreate. Or wanting anything for that matter. Desire
      is a function of my body (and mind) crying out to perform biological
      activity I was programmed to do. I imagine so that I may eventual
      succeed in procreation or at the very least help my society prosper.
      (Mind you the perception and reality are two different things.)

      We are still just somewhat evolved monkeys doing tricks so we can
      have our banana.

      Ouuu Ouuu Aaa Aaa

      J.Aiden


      ----------------------

      --- In existlist@y..., awrybrewer@a... wrote:
      > Well, my friend it is time to step up to the essence building
      plate. You
      > know that choice is key. So deliberate and choose. If you
      compromise yourself
      > by being with her then welcome to the world of bad faith, not that
      that is a
      > bad thing all the time, but in human relation it could be a
      problem. I am
      > going to make an offensive and gross generalization, so if you wish
      not to be
      > offended send your inner child out of the room.
      > --women are, on the whole, not rational beings, and the ones that
      are are
      > often lesbians-
      > So do not try to understand her. Accept or reject. It maybe in
      time you
      > allow for the things that irk you about her, though I believe, that
      comes as
      > the beginning of love.
      >
      > --Mark
      >
      >
      > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
    • greg goodwin
      Jim, Sorry about the long wait for a response but my Grandmother died sunday so I have been a bit preempted as to my regular activities. When you find this
      Message 2 of 28 , Dec 4, 2001
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        Jim,
        Sorry about the long wait for a response but my
        Grandmother died sunday so I have been a bit preempted
        as to my regular activities.
        When you find this woman, see if she a twin sister
        for me.
        Greg
        --- Jim Aiden <livewild@...> wrote:
        >
        > Greg,
        >
        > you seem to have all the bases covered. Any woman
        > left over?
        >
        > I prefer highly intelligent, motivated, saintly
        > girls, with a
        > great set of legs, a beautiful face, and a
        > dedication to orally
        > pleasuring me before and after cooking me dinner.
        > Not asking much eh?
        >
        > Actually I'd 'settle' for an all right looking
        > girl (if I can
        > orgasm once or twice a week, it's enough) but
        > someone that loves me
        > to death, will stay devoted, and someone that is
        > happy just being
        > with and taking care of me. I guess I should add...
        > I have to respect
        > her.
        >
        > And I don't want someone that is unhappy because
        > in the end I'll
        > end up on rack right alongside them. Hard to find
        > happy people these
        > days though... especially woman. The media has
        > created a nightmare of
        > perfection for them to aspire to. Unfortunately, I
        > noticed men seem
        > to be going in the same direction. Luckily, like
        > yourself, I am
        > already an ideal specimen for a breeding male.....
        > yeah... really...I
        > think I'm falling for you... you are so beautiful...
        > I love you so
        > much.... sorry honey....what do you mean I'm
        > judgmental... of course
        > I care about you...you make no sense....keep away
        > from me....I'm
        > going to call the cops if you don't stop hounding
        > me...
        >
        > Your right sometimes.... Waa-tish. Who's your
        > daddy? Say it.....
        > is much easier to handle.
        >
        > J.Aiden
        >
        > ---------------------------------
        >
        > --- In existlist@y..., greg goodwin
        > <ggoodwin56@y...> wrote:
        > > Jim,
        > > I TRY to stay away from women that make judgments
        > > based upon someone's pocketbook. I also do not
        > care
        > > for 'slutty' women, anyone can 'have' them, but I
        > did
        > > use "try" and "do not care for" but as
        > hypocritical as
        > > it is I have shared many a wonderful encounter
        > with
        > > women that fit comfortably into these types.
        > > I really like the petite, girl next door type
        > > although the girls next door nowadays seem to go
        > into
        > > one of the afore mentioned catagories.
        > > I REALLY do like walks in the woods, a stroll
        > down
        > > the beach, a bar-b-que on the weekends with
        > friends
        > > and would like to find a woman that would be
        > > comfortable just being with me as I am comfortable
        > > being with her. Doesn't sound like much and
        > indeed,
        > > many seem to fill the bill, for a while then
        > either I
        > > or they change and life nosedives.
        > > I dated a girl a little while ago and whenever we
        > > were in the car was steadily holding my hand, if
        > in my
        > > truck our thighs weresolidly together. When we got
        > out
        > > of the vehicle she waited to see if I was going
        > front
        > > or rear and then sped to clinch my arm into both
        > of
        > > hers. Quite nice, really made me feel quite
        > 'studly';
        > > for a while then it was old very quickly,
        > eventually a
        > > non-mutual split occurred.
        > > Your sentiments on 'bad' girls is what we all
        > live
        > > for, though not with, at least not for very long
        > at a
        > > time; but it is nice knowing you can always go
        > back
        > > for more when YOU get ready.
        > > Girls who seem to rave on and on about things
        > they
        > > find important, then ask whats wrong baby, tell
        > mama
        > > and then when you try to speak she abruptly
        > changes
        > > the subject; things on your mind are not important
        > to
        > > her definitely are ones I leave alone.
        > > Women that carry on about old relationships (How
        > > great/bad someone was)leaves me quite cold.
        > > I cannot stop without going into the women that
        > are
        > > so impressed with thenselves that you should be
        > > grateful they will be seen with you (to top this
        > off
        > > these are usually the most average looking women,
        > go
        > > figure!)
        > > Greg
        > > --- Jim Aiden <livewild@h...> wrote:
        > > > << but I know which type I no longer have time
        > for>
        > > >
        > > > Greg,
        > > >
        > > > This is probably part of my problem Greg. I
        > > > understand what you
        > > > mean by type but I TRY (keyword) not to create
        > > > stereotypes. My mind
        > > > says 'types' are just conditioning. There are
        > > > simply people that
        > > > have tendencies that is all. Conditioning if the
        > > > will is present can
        > > > be changed over time. I have found I have been
        > able
        > > > to do this in
        > > > myself. Just like telling myself my emotions are
        > > > just chemicals at
        > > > work doesn't mean much in day-to-day operations.
        > > > More of a framework
        > > > to life that pushes me in certain directions and
        > > > attitudes.
        > > > > I somewhat do this by generally avoiding
        > > woman
        > > > (yeah yeah I know
        > > > that's hypocritical but at least I don't hurt
        > > > anyone's feelings) that
        > > > are NOT my type. However once I do become
        > involved
        > > > my moral code
        > > > seems to kick in to prevent me from emotionally
        > > > abandoning a person
        > > > simply because they do not conform to some
        > > > 'standard'.
        > > >
        > > > Usually I would never get mixed up with a
        > girl
        > > > like Kelly but
        > > > for whatever reason.... I did. So here I am.
        > > >
        > > > J.Aiden
        > > >
        > > > P.S. What kind(s) of woman do you avoid?
        > > >
        > > > Personally.... I tend to keep away from the
        > heavy
        > > > make-up, high
        > > > maintenance, loud judgmental type that put
        > everyone
        > > > down. I
        > > > definitely like nice people. 'Bad' girls are fun
        > to
        > > > ride once and a
        > > > while, but they tend to deep down be insecure
        > and
        > > > miserable, and
        > > > usually are not happy until you feel that way
        > too.
        > > >
        > > >
        > > >
        > > >
        > > > --- In existlist@y..., greg goodwin
        > > > <ggoodwin56@y...> wrote:
        > > > >
        > > > > --- Jim Aiden <livewild@h...> wrote:
        > > > > > So as you all know,
        > > > > >
        > > > > > I am a complete unstable and erratic
        > > > individual
        > > > > > with very few real
        > > > > > opinions but lots to say. This can be all
        > right
        > > > and
        > > > > > perhaps even
        > > > > > desirable for Internet Existential forums
        > (where
        > > > > > people can't get
        > > > > > their hands around your neck) but can be
        >
        === message truncated ===


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      • Ryan Dewald
        Greg, My condolences. Were you close? -Ryan ... From: greg goodwin [mailto:ggoodwin56@yahoo.com] Sent: Tuesday, December 04, 2001 8:20 AM To:
        Message 3 of 28 , Dec 4, 2001
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          Greg,

          My condolences. Were you close?

          -Ryan

          -----Original Message-----
          From: greg goodwin [mailto:ggoodwin56@...]
          Sent: Tuesday, December 04, 2001 8:20 AM
          To: existlist@yahoogroups.com
          Subject: Re: [existlist] Re: Existentialism and dating


          Jim,
          Sorry about the long wait for a response but my
          Grandmother died sunday so I have been a bit preempted
          as to my regular activities.
          When you find this woman, see if she a twin sister
          for me.
          Greg
        • Ryan Dewald
          I have been itching to get into the dating discussion but I ve been too busy to broach such a broad issue. First off, Jim, well-worded dilemma I think it
          Message 4 of 28 , Dec 4, 2001
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            I have been itching to get into the dating discussion but I've been too busy
            to broach such a broad issue. First off, Jim, well-worded dilemma I think
            it describes a phenomena with good fidelity.

            This woman's values in a mate, physical image and wealth are understandable
            values. Most of us can imagine someone either too ugly or too impoverished
            to be attractive to us and I think that you acknowledge this too Jim. So
            this girl's initial value system is at least understandable.

            What I wonder is if it's more that she fails to see the value of intellect
            and critical thought that bugs you. I also wonder if it isn't your critical
            thought that's got her coming back for more from you even though you,
            however anemically, repell her advances and if she actually DOES value
            critical though but just hasn't been exposed to a lot of it and hasn't done
            a lot of it herself.

            I recommend 3 options for avenues of action.

            1. Engage her in critical thinking often, plan it out ahead of time. Enjoy
            opening doors of perception for another person, so long as she appreciates
            it. But avoid having sex with her under these conditions since there is a
            natural power imbalance and someone will get hurt or messed up.

            2. If you really are annoyed by her, take her on a short journey through her
            own belief system and pop the seams wherever it's convenient. Explain to
            her why she's too thin, intellectually, for you. But if she's into some
            no-strings sex...

            3. If you really like her then I'd say you've gotta explain your concerns in
            the context of the fact that your eally like her and see what she has to
            say. Explain your philosophy and why you believe what you do, she ought to
            volunteer hers. If you can identify the differences and are both okay with
            them, then Rock On! If you can't, then it should be clear to you both and
            no one should get too hurt.

            Most of all HAVE FUN! It's the only life you get!

            I'm no expert or anything, but that's what came to mind on my shoestring
            budget of time.

            Good luck and do keep us informed!!

            Ryan the antichrist... I mean anarchist
          • Bill Harris
            Et, all. I have followed the conversation regarding mating habits of the north american bull existentialist. It supports my contention that breeding is a
            Message 5 of 28 , Dec 4, 2001
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              Et, all. I have followed the conversation regarding mating habits of the
              north american bull existentialist. It supports my contention that breeding
              is a hormonal exercise bereft of reason or for that matter accountability.
              It therefore takes me to a topic which relates most directly to both the
              intellectual diviance of sexual behavior and existentialism. That topic is
              will. Bill
              ----- Original Message -----
              From: "Ryan Dewald" <rdewald@...>
              To: <existlist@yahoogroups.com>
              Sent: Tuesday, December 04, 2001 11:15 AM
              Subject: RE: [existlist] Re: Existentialism and dating


              > Greg,
              >
              > My condolences. Were you close?
              >
              > -Ryan
              >
              > -----Original Message-----
              > From: greg goodwin [mailto:ggoodwin56@...]
              > Sent: Tuesday, December 04, 2001 8:20 AM
              > To: existlist@yahoogroups.com
              > Subject: Re: [existlist] Re: Existentialism and dating
              >
              >
              > Jim,
              > Sorry about the long wait for a response but my
              > Grandmother died sunday so I have been a bit preempted
              > as to my regular activities.
              > When you find this woman, see if she a twin sister
              > for me.
              > Greg
              >
              >
              >
              > Our Home: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/existlist
              > (Includes community book list, chat, and more.)
              >
              > TO UNSUBSCRIBE from this group, send an email to:
              > existlist-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
              >
              > Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
              >
              >
            • greg goodwin
              and tripletts quads etc. It would be nice to share with those around you. However if they would and I could I would take/fornicate all as well. Enjoy my friend
              Message 6 of 28 , Dec 4, 2001
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                and tripletts quads etc.
                It would be nice to share with those around you.
                However if they would and I could I would
                take/fornicate all as well.
                Enjoy my friend enjoy
                Greg
                --- Jim Aiden <livewild@...> wrote:
                >
                > Greg,
                >
                > if she exists and has a twin, I taking the both of
                > them.... moving to
                > Utah... and becoming a Mormon.
                >
                > J.Aiden
                >
                > ---------------------
                >
                > --- In existlist@y..., greg goodwin
                > <ggoodwin56@y...> wrote:
                > > Jim,
                > > Sorry about the long wait for a response but my
                > > Grandmother died sunday so I have been a bit
                > preempted
                > > as to my regular activities.
                > > When you find this woman, see if she a twin
                > sister
                > > for me.
                > > Greg
                > > --- Jim Aiden <livewild@h...> wrote:
                > > >
                > > > Greg,
                > > >
                > > > you seem to have all the bases covered. Any
                > woman
                > > > left over?
                > > >
                > > > I prefer highly intelligent, motivated,
                > saintly
                > > > girls, with a
                > > > great set of legs, a beautiful face, and a
                > > > dedication to orally
                > > > pleasuring me before and after cooking me
                > dinner.
                > > > Not asking much eh?
                > > >
                > > > Actually I'd 'settle' for an all right
                > looking
                > > > girl (if I can
                > > > orgasm once or twice a week, it's enough) but
                > > > someone that loves me
                > > > to death, will stay devoted, and someone that is
                > > > happy just being
                > > > with and taking care of me. I guess I should
                > add...
                > > > I have to respect
                > > > her.
                > > >
                > > > And I don't want someone that is unhappy
                > because
                > > > in the end I'll
                > > > end up on rack right alongside them. Hard to
                > find
                > > > happy people these
                > > > days though... especially woman. The media has
                > > > created a nightmare of
                > > > perfection for them to aspire to. Unfortunately,
                > I
                > > > noticed men seem
                > > > to be going in the same direction. Luckily, like
                > > > yourself, I am
                > > > already an ideal specimen for a breeding
                > male.....
                > > > yeah... really...I
                > > > think I'm falling for you... you are so
                > beautiful...
                > > > I love you so
                > > > much.... sorry honey....what do you mean I'm
                > > > judgmental... of course
                > > > I care about you...you make no sense....keep
                > away
                > > > from me....I'm
                > > > going to call the cops if you don't stop
                > hounding
                > > > me...
                > > >
                > > > Your right sometimes.... Waa-tish. Who's your
                > > > daddy? Say it.....
                > > > is much easier to handle.
                > > >
                > > > J.Aiden
                > > >
                > > > ---------------------------------
                > > >
                > > > --- In existlist@y..., greg goodwin
                > > > <ggoodwin56@y...> wrote:
                > > > > Jim,
                > > > > I TRY to stay away from women that make
                > judgments
                > > > > based upon someone's pocketbook. I also do not
                > > > care
                > > > > for 'slutty' women, anyone can 'have' them,
                > but I
                > > > did
                > > > > use "try" and "do not care for" but as
                > > > hypocritical as
                > > > > it is I have shared many a wonderful encounter
                > > > with
                > > > > women that fit comfortably into these types.
                > > > > I really like the petite, girl next door type
                > > > > although the girls next door nowadays seem to
                > go
                > > > into
                > > > > one of the afore mentioned catagories.
                > > > > I REALLY do like walks in the woods, a stroll
                > > > down
                > > > > the beach, a bar-b-que on the weekends with
                > > > friends
                > > > > and would like to find a woman that would be
                > > > > comfortable just being with me as I am
                > comfortable
                > > > > being with her. Doesn't sound like much and
                > > > indeed,
                > > > > many seem to fill the bill, for a while then
                > > > either I
                > > > > or they change and life nosedives.
                > > > > I dated a girl a little while ago and
                > whenever we
                > > > > were in the car was steadily holding my hand,
                > if
                > > > in my
                > > > > truck our thighs weresolidly together. When we
                > got
                > > > out
                > > > > of the vehicle she waited to see if I was
                > going
                > > > front
                > > > > or rear and then sped to clinch my arm into
                > both
                > > > of
                > > > > hers. Quite nice, really made me feel quite
                > > > 'studly';
                > > > > for a while then it was old very quickly,
                > > > eventually a
                > > > > non-mutual split occurred.
                > > > > Your sentiments on 'bad' girls is what we all
                > > > live
                > > > > for, though not with, at least not for very
                > long
                > > > at a
                > > > > time; but it is nice knowing you can always go
                > > > back
                > > > > for more when YOU get ready.
                > > > > Girls who seem to rave on and on about things
                > > > they
                > > > > find important, then ask whats wrong baby,
                > tell
                > > > mama
                > > > > and then when you try to speak she abruptly
                > > > changes
                > > > > the subject; things on your mind are not
                > important
                > > > to
                > > > > her definitely are ones I leave alone.
                > > > > Women that carry on about old relationships
                > (How
                > > > > great/bad someone was)leaves me quite cold.
                > > > > I cannot stop without going into the women
                > that
                > > > are
                > > > > so impressed with thenselves that you should
                > be
                > > > > grateful they will be seen with you (to top
                > this
                > > > off
                > > > > these are usually the most average looking
                > women,
                > > > go
                > > > > figure!)
                > > > > Greg
                > > > > --- Jim Aiden <livewild@h...> wrote:
                > > > > > << but I know which type I no longer have
                > time
                > > > for>
                > > > > >
                > > > > > Greg,
                > > > > >
                > > > > > This is probably part of my problem
                > Greg. I
                > > > > > understand what you
                > > > > > mean by type but I TRY (keyword) not to
                > create
                > > > > > stereotypes. My mind
                > > > > > says 'types' are just conditioning. There
                > are
                > > > > > simply people that
                > > > > > have tendencies that is all. Conditioning if
                > the
                > > > > > will is present can
                > > > > > be changed over time. I have found I have
                > been
                > > > able
                > > > > > to do this in
                > > > > > myself. Just like telling myself my emotions
                > are
                > > > > > just chemicals at
                > > > > > work doesn't mean much in day-to-day
                > operations.
                >
                === message truncated ===


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