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The Mezzo life

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  • bhvwd
    I am not in hideing but I am no longer out front.Many things formerly observed have been abandoned.The people and rules associated with rituals have died,
    Message 1 of 2 , Feb 3, 2008
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      I am not in hideing but I am no longer out front.Many things
      formerly observed have been abandoned.The people and rules associated
      with rituals have died, or left . The highs and lows are moderated
      as a more solitary self mulls a blunted reality.
      It is snowing two different directions but I plan to stay in,stay
      warm,ponder in silence.I have come to enjoy this mood where as
      formerly I considered it a waste of time. I was always guilty of
      being behind and the guilt was magnified by moral expectations. Much
      of that is eroded away as more than any time I experience a level of
      control monitored personally, internally. Most of the exposure is
      long since published and detractors have fired their weapons with
      less and less effect.Since there is no listed punishment for the
      things I think ,they carry no moral weight. I actually blame
      existentialism for this respite. I have gone so far away that the
      carping mob fears to follow. They will not know there is nothing out
      here but the comfort of knowing how to survive. I like the Mezzo life
      as it provides a solitude and personal comfort that the agents find
      unflappable.I have multiple eyes on the world but it is as if it all
      happens under the glass of a choatic lens. It is others havoc and as
      I used to revel and contort in tribal zeal the tribe dispersed and I
      am left to throw bottles to an ocean that seems endlessly
      impersonal.If there is no message in my bottle at least it is not a
      scorpion. It is just the small atmosphere of the mezzo life drifting
      to shores unknown. The mad life is actually leading to something I
      did not expect. It is only snowing one way now. Bill
    • bhvwd
      I am not in hideing but I am no longer out front.Many things formerly observed have been abandoned.The people and rules associated with rituals have died,
      Message 2 of 2 , Feb 3, 2008
      • 0 Attachment
        I am not in hideing but I am no longer out front.Many things
        formerly observed have been abandoned.The people and rules associated
        with rituals have died, or left . The highs and lows are moderated
        as a more solitary self mulls a blunted reality.
        It is snowing two different directions but I plan to stay in,stay
        warm,ponder in silence.I have come to enjoy this mood where as
        formerly I considered it a waste of time. I was always guilty of
        being behind and the guilt was magnified by moral expectations. Much
        of that is eroded away as more than any time I experience a level of
        control monitored personally, internally. Most of the exposure is
        long since published and detractors have fired their weapons with
        less and less effect.Since there is no listed punishment for the
        things I think ,they carry no moral weight. I actually blame
        existentialism for this respite. I have gone so far away that the
        carping mob fears to follow. They will not know there is nothing out
        here but the comfort of knowing how to survive. I like the Mezzo life
        as it provides a solitude and personal comfort that the agents find
        unflappable.I have multiple eyes on the world but it is as if it all
        happens under the glass of a choatic lens. It is others havoc and as
        I used to revel and contort in tribal zeal the tribe dispersed and I
        am left to throw bottles to an ocean that seems endlessly
        impersonal.If there is no message in my bottle at least it is not a
        scorpion. It is just the small atmosphere of the mezzo life drifting
        to shores unknown. The mad life is actually leading to something I
        did not expect. It is only snowing one way now. Bill
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