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Re: Query about communication.

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  • Jim Aiden
    Greg, I find the real me has learned to compensate when people eyes glaze over when I try speak of some deep truth. I just avoid speaking of such things with
    Message 1 of 48 , Nov 2, 2001
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      Greg,

      I find the real me has learned to compensate when people eyes glaze
      over when I try speak of some 'deep' truth. I just avoid speaking of
      such things with them again. I want to, but I want to be sensitive to
      their desires and interests as well. This Zen like approach has become
      handy when dealing with the 'general population' as you say. I become
      what they want me to become. Whatever makes them comfortable.

      It's the people that really matter in my life that's the problem.
      I'm so far into left field in my real beliefs (and in my behavior DY)
      that I've lost touch with them somewhat. Besides having a very
      serious job as a business analyst at a large I.T. company, I tend to
      shy away from the stereotype lives people seem to imprison themselves
      to. For me, although I appreciate the opportunities I've been given,
      work and career is an afterthought.

      A snapshot of my life.....

      Last Wednesday (after work and the gym) I went to a local coffee
      shop hangout to hook up with some friends. Remember the rough and
      tumble chicken guy in those Bugs Bunny cartoons, Foghorn Leghorn (I
      say... I say... I say boy) and Porky Pig (a th... a th.. a thats all
      folks.) Well I got myself involved in a drawn out conversation about
      the reasons why an episode that included both of them as principles,
      was theoretically impossible because of the time it would require to
      complete a conversation.

      Thursday, worked from ten a.m. to three a.m. in the morning
      fixing problems on a project that so far has cost us 1.2
      million.

      Went to gym Friday morning then worked from eleven to 1:30 PM
      SATURDAY. Slept for four hours, went to the gym, smacked my NSX into
      some guy backing up (Did I mention how clumsy I am?). Wrote a check
      for five hundred bucks to fix the dent (doh) then rushed to the Guv (a
      local club) to begin a long session of dancing to trance/house music
      and doing light shows with something that you have to see to believe.
      I think of it as performance art.

      This went on until 3:00 A.M. on MONDAY morning at Comfort Zone
      (another club). At that point, I proceeded to smack my car again into
      one of those stupid columns they put in underground parking lots. Most
      would not laugh at such misfortune, but I find I'm so used to breaking
      absolutely everything I own, I can't help but get distracted into
      giggle fits at the thought of the complete incompetency of the Mongo
      who gave me a driving license.

      Did I mention I began a fresh work week Monday morning? (Project
      was succesfully installed.)

      Some weekends (very soon) I'll experiment snowboarding goofy.
      Others I'll spend with my mom just talking or take all four of my
      brothers kids out to a movie. Sometimes I'll just cuddle up to some
      philosophical book or science magazine. I've read all the volumes of
      Encyclopedia Britannica (from the seventies and inherited from my
      sister) at least three times.

      This is pretty typical way I live my life and have found not too
      many people can expose themselves to too much of reality at once. Your
      supposed to be intelligensia, or family oriented, or mindless funor
      whatever.

      Although I'm still looking for answers on how to effectively
      communicate philosopophy with people without angering or making them
      upset, I can tell you that you've never met a guy so happy as I. Just
      let go Greg. Be free. If you want to be loved authentically, you have
      to be who you are to make it real. Those that love you will always be
      there. They are for me.

      J.Aiden

      -----------------------

      -------- In existlist@y..., greg goodwin <ggoodwin56@y...> wrote:
      > I'm new to the group but the sentiment expressed by
      > you, could have very easily been spoken by me! Married
      > twice and never felt comfortable, never felt like I
      > could expose my true self without a possibility of
      > losing something. A current girlfriend has recently
      > accused me of having no feelings, or at least none
      > towards her. Upon conjecture this may indeed have a
      > bit of truth, but nonetheless I would not be in the
      > situation without some type of emotional attachment, I
      > think!! I deal well with the general population but
      > true involvements are an entirely different matter. At
      > the office I'm carefree, joke around with everyone and
      > everyone here is comfortable in my presence, but
      > intimacy?? How is it possible to handle, true intimacy
      > and hold onto being youself.
      > --- Jim Aiden <livewild@h...> wrote:
      > >
      > > Does anyone in this group sometimes have
      > > difficulty relating to
      > > people close to them that are not particularly
      > > philosophical in
      > > nature? (i.e. Husbands, girlfriends, friends,
      > > family, etc....) The
      > > reason why I ask is because I sometimes feel very
      > > distanced from those
      > > close to me. I find most people need to create a
      > > very solid universe
      > > around them which often makes me feel like I'm part
      > > of a cult and that
      > > I'll be excommunicated if I ask questions about the
      > > nature of their
      > > G~ds. I am told to accept, but much as I wish I
      > > could (I really do), I
      > > find the best I can manage is silence at times.
      > >
      > > I suspect I am not alone in this matter. Does
      > > anyone have any
      > > suggestions as to how to better cope with people
      > > that are close to
      > > you, but are out-to-lunch so to speak. What I'm
      > > looking for is a way
      > > to make others feel comfortable with their reality
      > > (and with me), yet
      > > still be able to deconstruct it in conversations
      > > with them. Is this
      > > possible to do?
      > >
      > > Anyone have any clue what I'm talking about? If
      > > so suggestions
      > > would really be appreciated.
      > >
      > > J.Aiden
      > >
      > >
      >
      >
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    • greg goodwin
      Deb, I don t believe I d care to be with a woman that would love to sleep with every man in town , even though she doesn t do so, wouldn t she still have her
      Message 48 of 48 , Nov 6, 2001
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        Deb,
        I don't believe I'd care to be with a woman that
        'would love to sleep with every man in town', even
        though she doesn't do so, wouldn't she still have her
        desires, her curiosities??
        --- Deborah Yates <druthyates@...> wrote:
        > Greg,
        >
        > I will be bold and answer that question honestly.
        > What's a boy to do
        > if commitment precedes sex. Find a woman who would
        > love to sleep with
        > every man in town, but won't because she's fiery and
        > passionate and in her
        > heart she is a one man woman.
        >
        > Then be her friend and wait until marriage and marry
        > her!
        >
        > But that's just what I would if I were you, I am
        > really stupid and naive
        > how would I know?
        >
        > DY
        >
        >
        >
        >
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