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Re: [existlist] Re: Query about communication.

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  • Deborah Yates
    Jim, I really think you are onto something in the sense that you are open to what I said and not offended! Our department held a colloquium yesterday and I
    Message 1 of 48 , Nov 2, 2001
      Jim,

      I really think you are onto something in the sense that you are open
      to what I said and not offended! Our department held a colloquium
      yesterday and I feel rather stupid to say that I was very attracted
      to the speaker. He was married and of course women in philosophy
      do not hit on the men, at least not anyone I know.

      But I panicked and left immediately after the speech. I had to
      get out of there! And unfortunately later I found out when a girl
      friend invited me for the future that they went out for dinner and
      the department picked up the tab. So, philosophers do have fun, flirt
      and are romantic.

      But this guy had he been single would have still scared me off. He was
      so serious, into his head and never mentioned anything funny, light
      or sexual at all even in jest. He was really a good guy. He gave
      me a handout and everything.

      Everybody was so bored listening to and he even mentioned something
      about boring people. And it was so sad. He was so handsome and
      smart and kind. Any woman would have wanted to date him, but he
      was hiding his feelings so that it appeared that maybe he didn't
      have any.

      So, this is a common problem. And you are courageous to address it.
      Men in philosophy are really good to women, they are kind people,
      psychically strong, faithful to their women, very approving of
      women in their field. They are great people.

      It's just this one thing. And yet when they try to get into these
      issues women don't respond well! It's a catch 22 situation.

      One of my favorite faculty members started making racy comments to
      me at a dinner commemorating one of my former professor's life after
      his recent death.

      I was so embarrassed that the color drained out of my face and I could
      barely talk or look him in the eye. So, see it's so hard to know what
      to do.

      But had it been someone I was very close to, not a faculty member,
      being alone, talking and drinking coffee and just being real and kind
      but strong in one's emotions and not trying to shock me or gross me
      out it would have been a start.

      Maybe if you are already in a relationship, there is less risk to being
      direct. But I am going to try something. I am going to give the
      philosophers a chance. Maybe I should break my rule and date one.

      You helped me there. I hope what I said helped!

      DY

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    • greg goodwin
      Deb, I don t believe I d care to be with a woman that would love to sleep with every man in town , even though she doesn t do so, wouldn t she still have her
      Message 48 of 48 , Nov 6, 2001
        Deb,
        I don't believe I'd care to be with a woman that
        'would love to sleep with every man in town', even
        though she doesn't do so, wouldn't she still have her
        desires, her curiosities??
        --- Deborah Yates <druthyates@...> wrote:
        > Greg,
        >
        > I will be bold and answer that question honestly.
        > What's a boy to do
        > if commitment precedes sex. Find a woman who would
        > love to sleep with
        > every man in town, but won't because she's fiery and
        > passionate and in her
        > heart she is a one man woman.
        >
        > Then be her friend and wait until marriage and marry
        > her!
        >
        > But that's just what I would if I were you, I am
        > really stupid and naive
        > how would I know?
        >
        > DY
        >
        >
        >
        >
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        >


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