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The Gospel of Noo - Chapter 2

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  • Mark Tindall
    THE GOSPEL OF NOO Chapter 2 Neddy decided to steal a picture of Molly the Moo Cow and call it Noo. Unfortunately the artist who painted Molly the Moo Cow,
    Message 1 of 1 , Feb 23, 2003
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      THE GOSPEL OF NOO

      Chapter 2

      Neddy decided to steal a picture of Molly the Moo Cow and call it Noo. Unfortunately the artist who painted Molly the Moo Cow, Michael Angelica, sued and made Neddy bankrupt.

      This made Neddy have the shits and he farted the hugest fart ever heard since Noo was created ... which not very long as this is how Noo was born. Noo proceeded from Neddy's arse as a fart. It was a very smelly fart as Neddy had been consuming nothing but Moo Juice for the last year. Noo hung around Neddy for some time till someone lit a match. Noo then disappeared into the furtive writings of Neddy who was writing a Mills and Boon pamphlet to be published on the spider's web in the outdoor dunny.

      The Steve the Spider read one sentence and concluded that Neddy's pamphlet on Noo need dramatic editorial changes before it could possibly be put in his dunny. Steve suggested changing all the letters to grunts as this more suited the literary level ... and the readership ... should there ever be a readership. Steve further suggested that Neddy supply a nail on the back of the dunny door as means of holding the pamphlet together ... from which people who saw the pamphlet could grab it to wipe their arses on.

      Neddy proceeded to cut off a bit of his toe nail and was corrected by Steve the Spider who attempted to explain the type of nail that was required. Neddy, who had a few snags short of a barby, kept talking about his beloved fart, Noo, who had no toenails ... and proceeded to cut off a part of his finger nail and was again promptly corrected by Steve the Spider! Steve again described the type of nail that was suitable for Neddy's pamphlet. Neddy, who had a few kangaroos loose in the top paddock, kept talking about his beloved fart, Noo, who had no finger nails.

      Steve asked Neddy "What are ya?" Neddy promptly replied that Noo was a fart but that he wanted to promote him to something substantial. If he could give Noo the body of Molly the Moo Cow maybe he could use that of the Moaning Lisa painted by Leo Nardy the Vichi.

      Steve asked Neddy if he had seen a Head Shrink but Neddy replied 'No, I haven't seen a head shrink, I've smelt Noo who is a fart.'

      Steve excused himself and said he had very important business to do and would file Neddy's pamphlet in the important Round File to look at at a later date. Steve pushed Neddy out of the dunny and closed the door.

      What Steve really did was nail the pamphlet to the back of the dunny door and use it to wipe his arse with. When Neddy later asked Steve about the pamphlet on Noo, Steve always replied politely that it was of great use and did he have any more of this same Mills & Boon kitsch.

      To be continued .............










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