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The Gospel of Noo Chapter 1

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  • Mark Tindall
    THE GOSPEL OF NOO Chapter 1 Thus beginning the only true and authorised version of the life of Noo, the only author with specific permission from Moo to write
    Message 1 of 1 , Feb 19, 2003
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      THE GOSPEL OF NOO

      Chapter 1


      Thus beginning the only true and authorised version of the life of Noo, the only author with specific permission from Moo to write this story gives a brief introductory warning: Anyone writing another gospel of this wonderful story is a fraud and Moo will take vengance.

      In the begining was Being who sprung forth being after being after being for 13.7 billion years or so.

      Eventually a being called Moo sprung from Being. Moo was far more superior in all ways compared to Noo and her story can be found in the magnificent volume The Gospel of Moo ... the only authentic version being that written by Mark Tindall. All other versions are frauds and contain many errors that the heathen wish to use to discredit Moo. Do not believe their lies! This is all explained in the Gospel of Moo.

      On a tangental line Neddy was shat on the ground from a cow called Daisy the Dreadfully Demented. Daisy's parents were Brand X Dog Food and Not-So-Smart Leather Goods. Her full life is told in the The Thoughts of Chairman Moo ... the only authentic version being that written by Mark Tindall. All other versions are frauds and contain many errors that the heathen wish to use to discredit Moo. Do not believe their lies! This is all explained in the Gospel of Moo.

      Neddy was a silly old bull with very few neurons but the few neurons that he did possess in his small and hollow carnial cavity repeatedly misfired. He was a happy idiot. His main claim to fame in the halls of history was the reinvention of the wheel. The square wheel was hailed as the answer to all braking problems but had to be constantly realigned as chips regularly broke off. The oblong wheel was an improvement in braking capability but smooth travel was radically impaired even on a down hill slope. He continued on this pathway all his miserable life.

      Neddy lived in his own little world which he had created out of Cornflakes packets and pictures of BMWs cut out of Dolly magazines. He longed for a brain and had begun to watch The Wizard of Oz over and over again in order to find out how the Scarecrow got a brain ... but always fell asleep with his teddy bear in the first five minutes of the show. He bought sparkling red shoes and repeatedly clicked them together in the vain attempt to vist Dorothy to ask her. Yes, Neddy was a friend of Dorothy's though he had never met Dorothy.



      ..... to be continued



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