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24630Re: sleepwalking & schizophrenia discussion groups

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  • louise
    Feb 1, 2004
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      Mary,
      Please don't think me really really mad - I'm accustomed to taking
      risks, and finding that, sooner or later, things work out. I feel
      as if I'm in hell, and it's ok here.
      I do appreciate all you've tried to do for me. I will get through
      this.
      Louise.



      --- In existlist@yahoogroups.com, "louise" <hecubatoher@y...> wrote:
      > I think I do know what you mean, Mary.
      > Thanks so much for posting - although I feel rather fragile at the
      > moment, and, I'ld say, rationally on the paranoid side, :¬), about
      > what to say right now, things are gradually getting better.
      > In fact, Sceptic (if you don't mind the dramatic-pseudonymous word-
      > play) has just left the room after downloading, and creating a
      > folder for, a couple of the images taken by mars rover, and has
      even
      > replaced my former Stonehenge picture desktop with a picture of
      the
      > rocky surface of the planet, filling the whole screen. He seems
      > distinctly underwhelmed by it all, and kept laughing at my
      > enthusiam, saying it looked like Chesil beach. When I asked him
      > where this was, he said (John Cowper)Powys country, near
      Weymouth.
      > It's years since I read those novels. Anyway, once he'd backed
      off
      > from the screen a little, he said it looked better.
      > I've done little today, and certainly no housework - am just too
      > tired. Whether the hamsters are going to get clean cages today, I
      > don't know. Ah well, such are the minutiae of practical life, but
      > it seems the best thing to concentrate on.
      > I keep wondering how Eduard is, if that isn't an odd thing to
      wonder.
      > Will sign off for now.
      > Louise.
      >
      >
      >
      > --- In existlist@yahoogroups.com, "Mary Jo Malo" <alcyon11@y...>
      > wrote:
      > > Louise,
      > >
      > > My mother would always relapse, because she wouldn't take her
      > meds.
      > > Her relatives never knew what to do with her and often
      discovered
      > her
      > > relapsed state quite a while after the fact. Then, she would be
      > > institutionalized for a spell, then released. This was her cycle
      > for
      > > over 30 years. The meds kept getting stronger and the visits to
      > the
      > > asylum were longer over time. She had very severe symptoms
      > however,
      > > but she could always tell us quite "lucidly" what she was seeing
      > and
      > > hearing. It seemed a cry for help. As a consequence of her
      > illness,
      > > she wasn't a fit mother and rarely cared for her 6 children.
      > >
      > > Sometimes, after listening to some of us exchange ideas here in
      > this
      > > group, I can't help but feel that the ambibuities we think and
      > feel
      > > are just a milder form of schizophrenia. You know what I mean?
      > This
      > > isn't to downplay the seriousness of the condition, but to
      > > demonstrate that our ever changing moods and ideas seem to
      create
      > an
      > > almost delusional reality from which we struggle daily to make
      > some
      > > sense.
      > >
      > > Mary Jo
      > >
      > > --- In existlist@yahoogroups.com, "louise" <hecubatoher@y...>
      > wrote:
      > > > Eduard,
      > > > Wow! Those Mars pictures are something else, even though at
      > > present
      > > > I've only really taken a cursory look. I know it sounds
      silly,
      > but
      > > > that surface looks unearthly.
      > > > Sceptic (I've decided to demote him) has described to me how I
      > can
      > > > save the pictures on the computer, not something I've tried
      > yet.
      > > He
      > > > seemed interested - though sceptical - about the 3D glasses
      > idea.
      > > > As for me, I think I'll be pretty much back to normal within a
      > day
      > > > or two. The oddest things happen to me - when I was up in the
      > wee,
      > > > and advancing, small hours, I visited my 'schizophrenia is
      not
      > a
      > > > disease' group (without which I'ld never have made it as far
      as
      > > > existlist), to find that, before my eyes, a new member ( male
      > > > psychiatric nurse) was posting his first message. I posted
      back
      > > > briefly, to say hello, only to find another new member posting
      > for
      > > > the first time - a female psychiatrist. This was handy, as I
      > could
      > > > just say hello to her too, and leave them to it. The context
      > for
      > > > this seeming odd is that this increases the number of posting
      > > > contributors by fifty per cent. Big group, small group,
      lurking
      > is
      > > > ever popular.
      > > > The only group I lurk on is the 'schizophrenia-is-a-disease-we-
      > are-
      > > > very-kind-but-be-sure-to-take-your-meds' group, where I
      learnt,
      > for
      > > > instance, the useful insight, that, in a crisis, it may be
      > better
      > > to
      > > > turn to a CN (chronically normal), wherever one may turn up.
      > > > I'm sure our house needs cleaning, as well, but I really must
      > give
      > > > priority to the hamster cages. Actually, this work may re-
      > activate
      > > > my physical energies, for all I know. The weather's mild and
      > dry
      > > > enough today to make feasible use of the mangle in the yard
      (the
      > > > spin belt on our gorgeous 1960s twin tub has snapped, and
      > appears
      > > to
      > > > be obsolete, though only last year a similar problem proved
      > > > soluble. Sceptic's joined a virtual twin-tub-loving emporium
      > in
      > > > hopes of making progress: lots of pictures of gleaming
      machines
      > > (oh,
      > > > those green ones...)overflowing with hot suds.
      > > > Well, that's enough for now.
      > > > Don't tire yourself out.
      > > > Louise.
      > > >
      > > >
      > > >
      > > > In existlist@yahoogroups.com, eduard at home <yeoman@v...>
      wrote:
      > > > > I am going to try the Roi du Dollar shop at the Gallery
      > d'Aylmer
      > > > tomorrow, to see if they have any of these glasses. Other
      than
      > > > that, I suppose I shall have to make some out of green/red
      > plastic
      > > > sheeting.
      > > > >
      > > > > I have not seen the news release regarding the finding of
      > water.
      > > > So far it has only been guesses. What is interesting is that
      > the
      > > > tracks left by the rover are like what you expect on wet soil.
      > > > >
      > > > > eduard
      > > > >
      > > > > ----- Original Message -----
      > > > > From: Susan Schnelbach
      > > > > To: existlist@yahoogroups.com
      > > > > Sent: Saturday, January 31, 2004 8:35 PM
      > > > > Subject: Re: [existlist] sleepwalking
      > > > >
      > > > >
      > > > > One of the guys at work used the color laser printer to
      > print
      > > > out some
      > > > > photos. He left the photos on his desk along with a pair
      of
      > 3-d
      > > > glasses
      > > > > for anyone to look at who so desired.
      > > Coooooooolllllllllllllllll!
      > > > >
      > > > > CSW just mentioned to me that a couple of hours ago they
      > > > released some
      > > > > information stating they think they found water.
      > > > >
      > > > >
      > > > > On Friday, January 30, 2004, at 09:56 PM, eduard at home
      > wrote:
      > > > >
      > > > > > Louise,
      > > > > >
      > > > > > I'm up again too. I think I will get another glass of
      > wine.
      > > > Mary Jo
      > > > > > has driven me to drink ... :-)
      > > > > >
      > > > > > I am surprised that only you have replied on the Mars
      > > pictures
      > > > stuff.
      > > > > > This is a fantastic episode in our lives. Much better
      > than
      > > > anything
      > > > > > we had from the Apollo moon landings.
      > > > > >
      > > > > > Day-to-day chronicles are just fine. I think I will go
      > out
      > > > tomorrow
      > > > > > and take some pictures. The temperatures are moderating.
      > > > > >
      > > > > > Lots to do tomorrow. I haven't done any house cleaning
      in
      > a
      > > > while. I
      > > > > > should also get out there and clear the snow that has
      > piled
      > > up
      > > > on the
      > > > > > windows.
      > > > > >
      > > > > > eduard
      > > > > > ----- Original Message -----
      > > > > > From: louise
      > > > > > To: existlist@yahoogroups.com
      > > > > > Sent: Friday, January 30, 2004 10:43 PM
      > > > > > Subject: [existlist] sleepwalking
      > > > > >
      > > > > >
      > > > > > Excuse my interposition at an unaccustomed hour.
      Being
      > too
      > > > restless
      > > > > > even to retire to bed, I've been lounging and prowling
      > in
      > > the
      > > > > > kitchen.
      > > > > > This isn't desirable, at best, and I can clearly see I
      > need
      > > > to re-
      > > > > > introduce some routine, to steady things down; it's
      just
      > > > been so
      > > > > > good to be able to enter into such regular human
      > contact,
      > > > that I've
      > > > > > got carried away. And how 'off-message' this is - I
      > feel a
      > > > little
      > > > > > embarrassed at that, since this is not really a group
      for
      > > > > > chronicling the day-to-day happenings. Thanks for
      your
      > > > tolerance: I
      > > > > > haven't experienced such fluctuations of mood for
      quite
      > a
      > > > while.
      > > > > > I feel rather disconnected from the great world out
      > there,
      > > > which
      > > > > > includes footage of pictures from Mars. It sounds
      > > exciting -
      > > > maybe
      > > > > > I'll find a way to catch up on things over the weekend.
      > > > > > Bye for now,
      > > > > > Louise.
      > > > > >
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