Loading ...
Sorry, an error occurred while loading the content.
 

Re: Re: [ExGDBd] Newbie

Expand Messages
  • judiths
    Hi Matthew I am glad you join the group. I agree with Mary. You do need to talk to someone like Richard Cohen. I wouldn t make any decisions as to whether you
    Message 1 of 9 , Feb 1, 2004
      Hi Matthew

      I am glad you join the group. I agree with Mary. You do need to talk to someone like Richard Cohen. I wouldn't make any decisions as to whether you are gay or not at this time. IT is natural at this stage to question your sexual feelings. There are determining factors as to whether you have experienced Homosexual feelings. You do sound confused. & or a Pastor you can trust.

      I thought that those of us who have experienced H-if we could talk about how far back we do either that soemthing was wrong & experienced teh feelings -the history ofthem of when we experienced them the first time or whatever else we experienced that determine as an adult we knew that we have/had them.

      Like in my case, & some I know we knew back in grade school-for me that something was wrong & experienced the feelings but couldn't identify them then -becuase of how I experienced H. How far back did some of you know prior to junior high & high school & what was the determining factor then? It is something that we can go back to & define prior to at least for me & most i know prior to the junior high or high school age.

      ONe person I know knew before 6th grade & when puberty hit the direction was only to guys -in most cases I know that It occurred in puberty the direction was only to guys. unless the wounding was from mom as well.

      Matthew -one of the key factors is how is your relationship with your parents. is your dad distant-emotionally & relationally? How is your relationship with you dad? What has it been like since as far back as you can remember? I use the word *force* kindly-but you need to initiate interactions with nonsexual male men that you can trust that won't hurt you even sexually -to help you bond in the masculine & affirm your masculine part of you-like go to the store or any activity that invovles interactions with males NONSEXUALLY. YOu need to be affirm in the masculine in order to relate to woman as opposite sex.

      I want to get this sent -stop here.


      Judith
    • mathhew_135_n
      Hello. Thank You everyone for posting to answer. In answer to your questions: * Yes, I am Christian. * My relationship with my dad is good, but not
      Message 2 of 9 , Feb 1, 2004
        Hello. Thank You everyone for posting to answer. In answer to your
        questions:

        * Yes, I am Christian.
        * My relationship with my dad is good, but not perfect. He and my
        mother were separated for a year and got back together about a year
        ago. Also, I have two older brothers, 1 is 7 years older than me,
        and 1 is 10 years older than me. Since my dad is a lot older than
        me, I haven't really been able to do anything with him, sports for
        example, even though I'm not much interested in sports anyways.

        Thank you again, everyone. Thank you Mary for the resources, they
        helped a lot. Right now I'm going through one of my 1-3 week
        periods of being heterosexual, so I'm pretty happy right now. I
        will also try to fight off my homosexual urges. Also, I have a
        question. After I become heterosexual (well i am right now, but
        when I'm off for good...hopefully this time I'll have more strength)
        Am i allowed to masturbate? I know that it's a sin but I'm afriad
        that if i ignore it i'll go back to homosexuality. Also, other than
        just avoiding homosexual urges when I have them, and interacting
        with males non sexually, what else can I do to stay heterosexual??


        Thank You,
        Mathew.
















        --- In exgaydiscussionboard@yahoogroups.com, "judiths"
        <judiths@m...> wrote:
        > Hi Matthew
        >
        > I am glad you join the group. I agree with Mary. You do need to
        talk to someone like Richard Cohen. I wouldn't make any decisions as
        to whether you are gay or not at this time. IT is natural at this
        stage to question your sexual feelings. There are determining
        factors as to whether you have experienced Homosexual feelings. You
        do sound confused. & or a Pastor you can trust.
        >
        > I thought that those of us who have experienced H-if we could talk
        about how far back we do either that soemthing was wrong &
        experienced teh feelings -the history ofthem of when we experienced
        them the first time or whatever else we experienced that determine
        as an adult we knew that we have/had them.
        >
        > Like in my case, & some I know we knew back in grade school-for me
        that something was wrong & experienced the feelings but couldn't
        identify them then -becuase of how I experienced H. How far back did
        some of you know prior to junior high & high school & what was the
        determining factor then? It is something that we can go back to &
        define prior to at least for me & most i know prior to the junior
        high or high school age.
        >
        > ONe person I know knew before 6th grade & when puberty hit the
        direction was only to guys -in most cases I know that It occurred in
        puberty the direction was only to guys. unless the wounding was from
        mom as well.
        >
        > Matthew -one of the key factors is how is your relationship with
        your parents. is your dad distant-emotionally & relationally? How is
        your relationship with you dad? What has it been like since as far
        back as you can remember? I use the word *force* kindly-but you
        need to initiate interactions with nonsexual male men that you can
        trust that won't hurt you even sexually -to help you bond in the
        masculine & affirm your masculine part of you-like go to the store
        or any activity that invovles interactions with males NONSEXUALLY.
        YOu need to be affirm in the masculine in order to relate to woman
        as opposite sex.
        >
        > I want to get this sent -stop here.
        >
        >
        > Judith
      • mary mary
        Hi Mathew, First of all, remember what God s design is for you. This is always a good way to come back into focus. I m not going to answer the question about
        Message 3 of 9 , Feb 1, 2004
          Hi Mathew,

          First of all, remember what God's design is for you. This is always a good way to come back into focus.

          I'm not going to answer the question about masturbation and am going to leave that up to one of the men here to help you with that. However, start building an accountability group. These are people that know your issues and you can talk to about them. They will also be people who have the same values and beliefs as you do. It does not help to have people around who think it is okay to "act out". Armand the moderator has many good suggestions.

          Does that site I sent you have a forum for discussion? Do they have contact info? I read over it for christian content but did not check to see about contacting others for support. I can understand that as a 15 yo your financial resources might be a little challenging, so what is free is good. Call around to different churches in the community and see if any of them have resources for youth who deal with same sex attraction feelings. And the bus is a wonderful way to get around. Is this a subject you can talk to oneofyour older brothers about - how is your relationship with them?

          Do no trust someone with this issue right now - if that person has been sexually abusive to you in the past.

          Kepp up the seeking Mathew and you will find joy and friendship beyond measure with Christ. Christ is your brother who knows all your needs and desires. Let him guide you into manhood. You are well on your way. Talk to men who will mentor and role model good Christian values to you. See how they treat their wives and daughters and let them treat you like a son. Christ will show his love for you through many people.

          Mary




          mathhew_135_n <mathhew_135_n@...> wrote:
          Hello. Thank You everyone for posting to answer. In answer to your
          questions:

          * Yes, I am Christian.
          * My relationship with my dad is good, but not perfect. He and my
          mother were separated for a year and got back together about a year
          ago. Also, I have two older brothers, 1 is 7 years older than me,
          and 1 is 10 years older than me. Since my dad is a lot older than
          me, I haven't really been able to do anything with him, sports for
          example, even though I'm not much interested in sports anyways.

          Thank you again, everyone. Thank you Mary for the resources, they
          helped a lot. Right now I'm going through one of my 1-3 week
          periods of being heterosexual, so I'm pretty happy right now. I
          will also try to fight off my homosexual urges. Also, I have a
          question. After I become heterosexual (well i am right now, but
          when I'm off for good...hopefully this time I'll have more strength)
          Am i allowed to masturbate? I know that it's a sin but I'm afriad
          that if i ignore it i'll go back to homosexuality. Also, other than
          just avoiding homosexual urges when I have them, and interacting
          with males non sexually, what else can I do to stay heterosexual??


          Thank You,
          Mathew.
















          --- In exgaydiscussionboard@yahoogroups.com, "judiths"
          <judiths@m...> wrote:
          > Hi Matthew
          >
          > I am glad you join the group. I agree with Mary. You do need to
          talk to someone like Richard Cohen. I wouldn't make any decisions as
          to whether you are gay or not at this time. IT is natural at this
          stage to question your sexual feelings. There are determining
          factors as to whether you have experienced Homosexual feelings. You
          do sound confused. & or a Pastor you can trust.
          >
          > I thought that those of us who have experienced H-if we could talk
          about how far back we do either that soemthing was wrong &
          experienced teh feelings -the history ofthem of when we experienced
          them the first time or whatever else we experienced that determine
          as an adult we knew that we have/had them.
          >
          > Like in my case, & some I know we knew back in grade school-for me
          that something was wrong & experienced the feelings but couldn't
          identify them then -becuase of how I experienced H. How far back did
          some of you know prior to junior high & high school & what was the
          determining factor then? It is something that we can go back to &
          define prior to at least for me & most i know prior to the junior
          high or high school age.
          >
          > ONe person I know knew before 6th grade & when puberty hit the
          direction was only to guys -in most cases I know that It occurred in
          puberty the direction was only to guys. unless the wounding was from
          mom as well.
          >
          > Matthew -one of the key factors is how is your relationship with
          your parents. is your dad distant-emotionally & relationally? How is
          your relationship with you dad? What has it been like since as far
          back as you can remember? I use the word *force* kindly-but you
          need to initiate interactions with nonsexual male men that you can
          trust that won't hurt you even sexually -to help you bond in the
          masculine & affirm your masculine part of you-like go to the store
          or any activity that invovles interactions with males NONSEXUALLY.
          YOu need to be affirm in the masculine in order to relate to woman
          as opposite sex.
          >
          > I want to get this sent -stop here.
          >
          >
          > Judith



          Questions on the group? contact founder directly at: ncxds@...

          The Ex-Gay Discussion Board is a ministry of:
          NCXDS Ex-Gay Internet Ministries

          Feel free to link to these pages on your own website:

          Web: <http://geocities.com/exgaylinks> | Discussion List: <http://clubs.yahoo.com/clubs/exgaydiscussionboard> | Chat: <http://chat.yahoo.com/?club=exgaydiscussionboard>


          .yahoo.com/clubs/exgaydiscussionboard> | Chat: <http://chat.yahoo.com/?club=exgaydiscussionboard>





          Yahoo! Groups SponsorADVERTISEMENT


          ---------------------------------
          Yahoo! Groups Links

          To visit your group on the web, go to:
          http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exgaydiscussionboard/

          To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
          exgaydiscussionboard-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

          Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.



          ---------------------------------
          Do you Yahoo!?
          Yahoo! SiteBuilder - Free web site building tool. Try it!

          [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
        • Nieuwleven
          Hi Matthew, Good questions indeed. Concerning the masturbation issue, there s no agreement in churches. It is not my idea to re-start a debate on the issue,
          Message 4 of 9 , Feb 2, 2004
            Hi Matthew,

            Good questions indeed.
            Concerning the masturbation issue, there's no agreement in churches.
            It is not my idea to re-start a debate on the issue, just to let you
            know some insights on it.

            It is indeed a sin, but some people like to be "indulgent" with it
            for several reasons. However, this may become an addiction very
            difficult to get rid-off later in life, even after marriage. What
            this behaviour reveals, of course is a broken soul in need of
            affirmation, in need of being reunited, and of course reveals the
            normal search of love. How I percieve it, is like a "place of safety"
            where one has things in control (fantasies, pleasure), instead of
            surrending the control to Jesus Christ. In a way, this may be
            considered as idolatry, as we seek to provide the solution to our
            needs by our hands instead of seeking the Lord to quench all our
            thirst.

            Anyway, this is just an opinion.

            Be blessed,

            Armand

            --- In exgaydiscussionboard@yahoogroups.com, "mathhew_135_n"
            <mathhew_135_n@y...> wrote:
            > Hello. Thank You everyone for posting to answer. In answer to
            your
            > questions:
            >
            > * Yes, I am Christian.
            > * My relationship with my dad is good, but not perfect. He and my
            > mother were separated for a year and got back together about a year
            > ago. Also, I have two older brothers, 1 is 7 years older than me,
            > and 1 is 10 years older than me. Since my dad is a lot older than
            > me, I haven't really been able to do anything with him, sports for
            > example, even though I'm not much interested in sports anyways.
            >
            > Thank you again, everyone. Thank you Mary for the resources, they
            > helped a lot. Right now I'm going through one of my 1-3 week
            > periods of being heterosexual, so I'm pretty happy right now. I
            > will also try to fight off my homosexual urges. Also, I have a
            > question. After I become heterosexual (well i am right now, but
            > when I'm off for good...hopefully this time I'll have more
            strength)
            > Am i allowed to masturbate? I know that it's a sin but I'm afriad
            > that if i ignore it i'll go back to homosexuality. Also, other
            than
            > just avoiding homosexual urges when I have them, and interacting
            > with males non sexually, what else can I do to stay heterosexual??
            >
            >
            > Thank You,
            > Mathew.
            >
          • Thomas Morey
            Mathew, Hello. My name is Tom and I m an older guy who struggles with same sex attractions, sometimes much more than other times, and I also am now attracted
            Message 5 of 9 , Feb 2, 2004
              Mathew,

              Hello. My name is Tom and I'm an older guy who struggles with same sex attractions, sometimes much more than other times, and I also am now attracted to certain women in my fellowship, after years of exclusive same sex attractions. I find that 3 primary factors involve the more intensive times of same sex attractions. When I'm in this less preferable state it's important for me to check: 1) whether my desire and time spent in communication with God through prayer and worship, whether personal or with others, is somewhat more inhibited and less than usual or not; 2) how I see myself in comparison to my male peers, and how much time I'm spending with them, especially with those who I see as possessing power and authority in some way, and how much I feel like I do or don't really belong among them; 3) whether I feel like I am a sensitive leader of the women with whom I fellowship and date, rather than feeling like I have to be a good boy or a buddy, and/or am being controlled by them.
              I have found that the first factor, which gauges my spiritual walk and well-being is so related to how I see myself with both sexes, and how much time I spend with the men in my fellowship.

              I hope this helps.

              Tom

              mathhew_135_n <mathhew_135_n@...> wrote:
              Hello. Thank You everyone for posting to answer. In answer to your
              questions:

              * Yes, I am Christian.
              * My relationship with my dad is good, but not perfect. He and my
              mother were separated for a year and got back together about a year
              ago. Also, I have two older brothers, 1 is 7 years older than me,
              and 1 is 10 years older than me. Since my dad is a lot older than
              me, I haven't really been able to do anything with him, sports for
              example, even though I'm not much interested in sports anyways.

              Thank you again, everyone. Thank you Mary for the resources, they
              helped a lot. Right now I'm going through one of my 1-3 week
              periods of being heterosexual, so I'm pretty happy right now. I
              will also try to fight off my homosexual urges. Also, I have a
              question. After I become heterosexual (well i am right now, but
              when I'm off for good...hopefully this time I'll have more strength)
              Am i allowed to masturbate? I know that it's a sin but I'm afriad
              that if i ignore it i'll go back to homosexuality. Also, other than
              just avoiding homosexual urges when I have them, and interacting
              with males non sexually, what else can I do to stay heterosexual??


              Thank You,
              Mathew.
















              --- In exgaydiscussionboard@yahoogroups.com, "judiths"
              <judiths@m...> wrote:
              > Hi Matthew
              >
              > I am glad you join the group. I agree with Mary. You do need to
              talk to someone like Richard Cohen. I wouldn't make any decisions as
              to whether you are gay or not at this time. IT is natural at this
              stage to question your sexual feelings. There are determining
              factors as to whether you have experienced Homosexual feelings. You
              do sound confused. & or a Pastor you can trust.
              >
              > I thought that those of us who have experienced H-if we could talk
              about how far back we do either that soemthing was wrong &
              experienced teh feelings -the history ofthem of when we experienced
              them the first time or whatever else we experienced that determine
              as an adult we knew that we have/had them.
              >
              > Like in my case, & some I know we knew back in grade school-for me
              that something was wrong & experienced the feelings but couldn't
              identify them then -becuase of how I experienced H. How far back did
              some of you know prior to junior high & high school & what was the
              determining factor then? It is something that we can go back to &
              define prior to at least for me & most i know prior to the junior
              high or high school age.
              >
              > ONe person I know knew before 6th grade & when puberty hit the
              direction was only to guys -in most cases I know that It occurred in
              puberty the direction was only to guys. unless the wounding was from
              mom as well.
              >
              > Matthew -one of the key factors is how is your relationship with
              your parents. is your dad distant-emotionally & relationally? How is
              your relationship with you dad? What has it been like since as far
              back as you can remember? I use the word *force* kindly-but you
              need to initiate interactions with nonsexual male men that you can
              trust that won't hurt you even sexually -to help you bond in the
              masculine & affirm your masculine part of you-like go to the store
              or any activity that invovles interactions with males NONSEXUALLY.
              YOu need to be affirm in the masculine in order to relate to woman
              as opposite sex.
              >
              > I want to get this sent -stop here.
              >
              >
              > Judith



              Questions on the group? contact founder directly at: ncxds@...

              The Ex-Gay Discussion Board is a ministry of:
              NCXDS Ex-Gay Internet Ministries

              Feel free to link to these pages on your own website:

              Web: <http://geocities.com/exgaylinks> | Discussion List: <http://clubs.yahoo.com/clubs/exgaydiscussionboard> | Chat: <http://chat.yahoo.com/?club=exgaydiscussionboard>


              .yahoo.com/clubs/exgaydiscussionboard> | Chat: <http://chat.yahoo.com/?club=exgaydiscussionboard>





              Yahoo! Groups SponsorADVERTISEMENT


              ---------------------------------
              Yahoo! Groups Links

              To visit your group on the web, go to:
              http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exgaydiscussionboard/

              To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
              exgaydiscussionboard-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

              Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.



              ---------------------------------
              Do you Yahoo!?
              Yahoo! SiteBuilder - Free web site building tool. Try it!

              [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
            • Christa Tickle
              Hi again, Matthew. I am so glad you aren t afraid to ask questions openly here! I understand you have raging hormones right now...believe me...I totally
              Message 6 of 9 , Feb 2, 2004
                Hi again, Matthew. I am so glad you aren't afraid to ask questions openly here! I understand you have raging hormones right now...believe me...I totally understand because we all go through it during our teenage years. You are most likely wanting to do this out of a need for pleasure right now. If you have accepted Christ, been baptized and have received the Holy Spirit, you are no longer who you were. You see, you not only have forgiveness, Matthew, but also the very life of Christ living inside your body via the Holy Spirit. If you have never asked the Holy Spirit to come into your life, you should definitely do so...the Spirit can help do that which you in your own strength cannot do: overcome temptation. If you rely on yourself to "fight off" the urges you feel to masturbate, or those homosexual feelings, you are fighting a losing battle. You will need to allow God to do it in and through you...he doesn't want to help you overcome this...he wants to overcome it for you!
                Completely.

                Now that you have accepted Christ, you are no longer who you were. You have a entirely new identity now. You were in Adam (part of Adam who was separated from God after falling into sin in the Garden of Eden.) You were dead in your transgressions (sin). Now that you have accepted Christ, know he died on the cross for you, you are forgiven, but you are also ALIVE. Before, the Spirit living inside you was dead! Now, the Spirit living in you is alive. Two things have happened since you accepted Christ's death on the cross as payment for your sins: You have been forgiven and you have been given life! Now that you have a new life, you are part of God's family...you are adopted by God. You are now acceptable before God. You are forgiven completely...past, present, and future! This also means that you are no longer a heterosexual and you are no longer a homosexual! You are simply a saint, a child of God, who continues to sin! No other name, definition, or title apart from "child of God," or
                "saint," truly suits you. Your behavior no longer determines who you are because your sinful behavior is totally forgiven.

                I honestly believe that the true way to change one's behavior, is to change one's belief about him/herself. My belief about myself determines my behavior. Let me give you an example: There was a prostitute who walked the streets of New York every night. She was barely making ends meat and living off whatever money she could earn through the selling of her body. People mocked her, called her terrible names, and spat on her. She was abused and beaten from time to time, but continued living the life of a prostitute. It was who she was. It was her job, her career, her way of life. One day, a wealthy foreign businessman visited the city and upon leaving a meeting one night, he spotted the woman on the sidewalk. He immediately stopped the car and picked up the woman. To her surprise, he did not want to engage in sex with her...he simply wanted to get to know her. He thought she was the most beautiful and intelligent woman he had ever seen. He immediately proposed marriage to the woman, who
                had also fallen in love and accepted. The two got married. Little did the woman know, she had actually married a King. She was now a Queen in a foreign country, with many riches, wealth, servants, etc. She was the envy of women all over the world. Best of all, her King loved her unconditionally with all his heart.

                This former prostitute was NOW a Queen! Do you think she would go back to the streets of New York and sell her body now that she was a queen? Of course she wouldn't. That would not make any sense for her to go back to such a lifestyle now that she had an entirely new identity. That is what most Christians do not realize when they accept Christ...they are entirely new. We are no longer sinners, saved by grace. Instead, we are saints who continue to sin! We are heirs to the throne of God through Christ Jesus. We are in the lineage (family) of Jesus Himself! We are ROYALTY! Our wealth is being stored and made by God in Heaven! We will walk beside our Heavenly Father one day on streets made of gold! We are royalty. And, we are loved unconditionally! Why behave as though we are still sinners when that is not who we are. We are now saints, who are not perfect, who make mistakes, who continue to sin...but we are STILL saints!

                When you feel the physical or emotional urge for another male or when you feel this overwhelming desire to engage in self-stimulation, remember who you are, Matthew! You are a prince. You are royalty! You are completely righteous in the eyes of God. When you fall, don't beat yourself up as though God is angry with your inability to control yourself. Just recognize that you didn't allow God to do His will, repent, forgive yourself, and move on. Just remember that until you are in heaven, you will struggle. Expect it. There is a battle of Evil versus Good between your body and your mind. Prepare yourself for the struggle. Read the Bible (one that you can easily understand-footnotes are also good), pray, ask God to perform His perfect will in and through you, and give it ALL to Him. He can carry the weight you cannot bear. He can finish the job you were unable to tackle! When you feel an urge or thought pop into your head...don't accept it! Tell Satan to leave you alone and refute the
                thought! Satan speaks to us in first person..."I am ____," or "I feel the need to _____." That is his game. He never lets up...just recognize where the thought is coming from, rebuke it, and redirect your attention to something else. You can pray when you feel an urge or emotion coming on...here's an example: "Lord, I feel as though I cannot control my hormones and emotions. I feel as though I could lose control. I can't control my feelings Lord, but YOU can. Please take these thoughts, feelings, and urges from me and do your will in and through me. Fight these urges for me, Lord. I give them all to you. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen."

                In my life, the sooner I recognized my inability to "deal" with my problems, the sooner I realized only God could handle them. God doesn't want to help anyone...He wants to do IT ALL for us! Apart from God, there is no permanent freedom from anything.

                Don't set yourself up for failure by looking at a negative or sinful website, reading a bad email, or fantasy. Stop it from happening before you accept those thoughts. The sooner you refuse and stop the urge, the easier it will be for God to control that urge in you. Your body is now the temple of the Holy Spirit of God. Your body is a holy, precious gift from God so remember your new identity now that you accepted Jesus Christ.

                This is not a solution to getting to the bottom of your feelings, but I hope it does shed a little light into your situation, and help you turn completely to God when you want to avoid falling into sin.

                Armand and some of the other strugglers have given you a ton of information and websites to help you more specifically with your same-sex attraction. We'll be praying for you!

                Love and prayers,
                Christa




                ---------------------------------
                Do you Yahoo!?
                Yahoo! SiteBuilder - Free web site building tool. Try it!

                [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
              • ElectroMan05@wmconnect.com
                Armand, Could you please tell me where in the Bible it mentions masturbation? Your friend, Randy [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
                Message 7 of 9 , Feb 2, 2004
                  Armand,
                  Could you please tell me where in the Bible it mentions masturbation?

                  Your friend, Randy


                  [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
                • judiths
                  I am glad you shared that Tom. Judith ... Mathew, Hello. My name is Tom and I m an older guy who struggles with same sex attractions, sometimes much more than
                  Message 8 of 9 , Feb 2, 2004
                    I am glad you shared that Tom. Judith
                    --------------------------------------------------------------
                    Mathew,

                    Hello. My name is Tom and I'm an older guy who struggles with same sex attractions, sometimes much more than other times, and I also am now attracted to certain women in my fellowship, after years of exclusive same sex attractions. I find that 3 primary factors involve the more intensive times of same sex attractions. When I'm in this less preferable state it's important for me to check: 1) whether my desire and time spent in communication with God through prayer and worship, whether personal or with others, is somewhat more inhibited and less than usual or not; 2) how I see myself in comparison to my male peers, and how much time I'm spending with them, especially with those who I see as possessing power and authority in some way, and how much I feel like I do or don't really belong among them; 3) whether I feel like I am a sensitive leader of the women with whom I fellowship and date, rather than feeling like I have to be a good boy or a buddy,
                    and/or am being controlled by them.
                    I have found that the first factor, which gauges my spiritual walk and well-being is so related to how I see myself with both sexes, and how much time I spend with the men in my fellowship.

                    I hope this helps.

                    Tom

                    mathhew_135_n <mathhew_135_n@...> wrote:
                    Hello. Thank You everyone for posting to answer. In answer to your questions:

                    * Yes, I am Christian.
                    * My relationship with my dad is good, but not perfect. He and my mother were separated for a year and got back together about a year ago. Also, I have two older brothers, 1 is 7 years older than me, and 1 is 10 years older than me. Since my dad is a lot older than me, I haven't really been able to do anything with him, sports for example, even though I'm not much interested in sports anyways.

                    Thank you again, everyone. Thank you Mary for the resources, they helped a lot. Right now I'm going through one of my 1-3 week periods of being heterosexual, so I'm pretty happy right now. I will also try to fight off my homosexual urges. Also, I have a question. After I become heterosexual (well i am right now, but when I'm off for good...hopefully this time I'll have more strength) Am i allowed to masturbate? I know that it's a sin but I'm afriad that if i ignore it i'll go back to homosexuality. Also, other than just avoiding homosexual urges when I have them, and interacting with males non sexually, what else can I do to stay heterosexual??


                    Thank You,
                    Mathew.
















                    --- In exgaydiscussionboard@yahoogroups.com, "judiths" <judiths@m...> wrote:
                    > Hi Matthew
                    >
                    > I am glad you join the group. I agree with Mary. You do need to talk to someone like Richard Cohen. I wouldn't make any decisions as to whether you are gay or not at this time. IT is natural at this stage to question your sexual feelings. There are determining factors as to whether you have experienced Homosexual feelings. You do sound confused. & or a Pastor you can trust.
                    >
                    > I thought that those of us who have experienced H-if we could talk about how far back we do either that soemthing was wrong & experienced teh feelings -the history ofthem of when we experienced them the first time or whatever else we experienced that determine as an adult we knew that we have/had them.
                    >
                    > Like in my case, & some I know we knew back in grade school-for me that something was wrong & experienced the feelings but couldn't identify them then -becuase of how I experienced H. How far back did some of you know prior to junior high & high school & what was the determining factor then? It is something that we can go back to & de
                  • Nieuwleven
                    Dear Randy, As I wrote in the former post to Matthew, there are several different approaches to masturbation in Church, and it was not my intention to create a
                    Message 9 of 9 , Feb 3, 2004
                      Dear Randy,

                      As I wrote in the former post to Matthew, there are several different
                      approaches to masturbation in Church, and it was not my intention to
                      create a debate on the issue, because it has already been thoroughly
                      discussed previously on this board.

                      As Michael said, the word itself is not found on the Bible (as far as
                      I am informed). However, in practical terms, in daily real life,
                      masturbation is intimately related to lust, it is the next step or
                      the consequence of lust. When indulging in sexual fantasies we are
                      going beyond the limits that God gave tu us.

                      Masturbation is addictive. And if someone has proofs against is
                      highly requested to give them. Through different ministries, I have
                      found/met A LOT of people struggling with undesired masturbation,
                      feeling trapped and powerless. I have also seen many of them
                      delivered from this stronghold. I myself am keeping it under control,
                      just by GOD's GRACE. I am free from compulsive masturbation (that I
                      carried out for years since early adolescent btw) for the Glory of
                      God.

                      Anyway, all what I have said is valid for me :-) it may be of help to
                      others, but it is not the latest doctrine of faith :-) It would be
                      wise to review the contents of Door of Hope and meditate on them so
                      we all get a renewed view on this particular issue.

                      Be blessed!

                      Your friend,

                      Armand


                      --- In exgaydiscussionboard@yahoogroups.com, ElectroMan05@w... wrote:
                      > Armand,
                      > Could you please tell me where in the Bible it mentions
                      masturbation?
                      >
                      > Your friend, Randy
                      >
                      >
                      > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
                    Your message has been successfully submitted and would be delivered to recipients shortly.