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I Could Use Some Encouraging Words Right Now

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  • Frank Schoonover
    To All Who Support Change I am really looking for some encouraging words and support right now. I am learning each and every day that there are people, both
    Message 1 of 2 , Dec 26, 2011
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      To All Who Support Change



      I am really looking for some encouraging words and support right now. I am learning each and every day that there are people, both male and female, who are opposed to the message of truth that Homosexuality is an emotional condition that can be changed in Heterosexuality if the person seeking this change is really serious about it. I recently had a run in with a former aquaintance of mine who is still a very active Homosexual and he asked me a question as to where I am since leaving the "Homosexual/Gay" lifestyle behind.  

      At first, I really didn't know what to say as this question really put me in a corner. But I did answer his question and I will also share what he said as well alongside it.

      I shared with him many of the stories that I have rehashed many times. I shared with him the constant physical and emotional abuse that I had suffered and endured at the hands of my overbearing religious fanatic father who supposedly follows "born-again Christianity" and used that religion as an excuse to do what he did to me. He also heavily insisted that we has giving me was "good old fashioned Christian discipline". He repeatedly beat me with a thick leather strap and even used his own hands to slap me in other areas of my body, especially my face. My mother would rescue me from my father, but the damage was already done. Before that, I was a happy little boy, but after my father's abuse, I became an angry boy that later became an angry man when he became a man. I have had anger in me for many years with most of it
      geared towards my father. I was also angry at others for disrespecting me and I had used my anger too many times as it later became a real problem when I at times got into serious trouble as a result.I had friends who wouldn't talk to me and I was never included in their fun once I was cut off. I am in therapy now for that and other things that I will explain. Overall, I never really got my father's love. All I got was his emasculation and his name calling and insults and all that physical and emotional abuse that I suffered and endured at his hand in the name of "born-again Christianity".

      I also explained to him all the sexual abuse that I suffered and endured when I was growing up. I shared with him that at 7, I witnessed a man who had lived in my neighborhood masturbating in front of me. He invited me into his house and when I walked up to his bathroom, I saw him doing that until he climaxed in the sink. At 10, a 16 year old kid talked me
      into performing oral sex on him. The worst was when I was 16, when another man who lived in my neighborhood actually raped me when, after we were both out of our clothes, he tried to ram his genitals up my rectum without the use of a condom. It really hut like you wouldn't believe. At times, I still get a stabbing pain when I have to defecate as a vivid reminder of that rape episode. There were also other instances when I used and abused by other males for their pleasure where I never got anything back from them. It all really messed me up.

      I also shared with him all the books that I had read, both spiritual and secular, with him and that after reading books like You Don't Have To Be Gay by Jeff Konrad and Coming Out of Homosexuality by Bob Davies and Lori Rentzel, I had felt that a enormous weight had been lifted off of me as over twenty years of questions were finally answered by both of them, mainly from what I read in Jeff Konrad's book. I
      also shared with him the books that I had read from Dr. Joseph Nicolosi, which were Reparative Therapy of Male Homosexuality and Healing Homosexuality: Case Stories of Reparative Therapy. I read others that had the same basic stuff, but still gave me more insight into the condition.

      Here is how he answered and I'll try not to make it too long:

      He said that "being 'Gay' is not a lifestyle choice. Being 'Gay' is who you are just as being white and being male is a 'fact' as well. The sooner you accept that 'fact' and make peace with 'the truth' the sooner you will become a whole person. God does not make mistakes and He created you the way that you are. If you choose to be celebate/chaste, that is perfectly fine. The apostle Paul chose that lifestyle as well. But don't castigate yourself unnecessarily for something you can do NOTHING about."

      He added "The authors who write diatribes about 'coming out of Homosexuality and being FREE' are promoting lies and deceit. Sure, their intentions are good, however misguided- but to criticize God for the way that you are created is tantamount to blasphemy"

      His reason for sharing all of that he wanted me to "simply relax and be the Frank R.Schoonover that God intended me to be."

      My viewpoint and I also want to caution that I will be bringing up some spiritual stuff in this as without God and his son Jesus Christ, the healing process out of Homosexuality would be impossible. Try not to be mad nor offended by any spiritual things that I bring up.

      What he was trying to say that I should accept myself as "Homosexual/Gay" and that there is nothing that be done about it. I was "born this way" and that it is unchangeable. The worst part of it is that he had the nerve to bring up God and the Apostle Paul. Don't get me wrong, I know that God made me a male and I have already accepted my gender identity as male. But what really rubbed me the wrong way was that, in his own words, God made me "Homosexual/Gay" and that it would be blasphemy for me not to accept myself a God given "Homosexual/Gay" man. I also hated that he brought up the Apostle Paul and his chasteness while he was alive serving our Creator in the name of his Jesus Christ. True, Paul did live life in chastity, but didn't he write that those "men who lie with men" wouldn't inherit God's kingdom? Isn't it blasphemy to live a sinful life knowing that God forbids such things, such as sexual relations between two members of the same gender? Isn't
      it blasphemy to even suggest that God makes people "Homosexual/Gay" when he really doesn't at all? When I heard that, It really brought me down. It is like that I wasted all of my energy rehashing those terrible and dreadful experiences that are the reasons why I struggle with Homosexuality/SSA to this day and I am still struggling. Apparently, I am still learning that each and every day that the world opposes the real truth about Homosexuality and opposes those who accept that truth and do whatever it takes to change and be the people, male or female, that God wants them to be.

      God wants everyone, male or female, to be Heterosexual as that is what God intended all humans to be as that was also he intended sexuality to be as well. God never intended for sexuality to be used and abused the way that the world is using it at the moment since the fall from perfection when the first man and woman, Adam and Eve, sinned against God in the Garden of Eden and when they were thrown out, they led mankind into imperfection, sin and death. Of course, it was one of God's angels who later became Satan the Devil who led Adam and Eve to sin in the garden and then thrown out.  As a result, the angel of God's who became the devil, not only got the very first humans thrown out of the garden, but he created sexual immorality as well and the sexual activity between two members of the same gender is considered sexual immorality in the eyes of God.

      Jesus Christ himself said that if "anyone wanted to follow him, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me." I interpret this to mean that if we want to follow Christ and his example, we have to disown our sinful nature and suppress our desires for anything out of sexual immorality, including the sexual activity between two members of the same gender, and simply fight them the best that we can in our imperfect state.

      Again, I have already accepted myself as a male as that is my gender identity. God made me a male for a reason and I also know that he wants me to become the Heterosexual man that he wants me to be and intended me to be. God does not make anyone, male or female, Homosexual at all. If he condemns the sexual activity associated with Homosexuality, that alone should show that he only approves of healthy and happy Heterosexuality as God created man and woman for that reason. Since I am a male, I am biologically hard wired to be compatible with a female as I have a penis and that is be used only for the purpose of sexual relations with a female as the vast majority of females have a vagina for that purpose and not to be used for the immoral practice of sexual relations with another male.

      The Holy Bible also states that when any two people engage in any type of sexual intercourse, they both become one flesh. It doesn't matter what type of intercourse it is. If one man uses his genitals for the use of sexual intercourse with another male, it is considered that the two have become one flesh in the same manner that it is considered when a man and a woman engage in normal intercourse that God intended.

      I am still striving to be the man that God wants me to be and that is not a Homosexual man, but a Heterosexual man.

      Right now, as a result of those words by that active Homosexual man, I am feeling really down at the moment and I really need some support and encouragement. If anyone in this group can help me out here, please do so as I would really appreciate that. I am being tempted to act out in other ways at the moment and though I haven't given into the temptation as I am still fighting it and I really need some encouragement and advice. Please help me fight through this so it can fade into memory and everything. Thanks.

      Please forgive the length of this post. I just had a lot to say and I really need some help, support and encouragement. Again, please forgive the length.

      I hope that everyone has a wonderful day. Take care all.Sincerely Frank R.Schoonover     


      [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
    • Yiftos18
      Frank, I am new to this group but not new to the IT S OK TO BE GAY philosophy. It is man s way to justify his unaccountability to the Almighty. I agree with
      Message 2 of 2 , Jan 14, 2012
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        Frank, I am new to this group but not new to the IT'S OK TO BE GAY philosophy.

        It is man's way to justify his unaccountability to the Almighty. I agree with Paul, distance yourself from these people. It may not be easy, but the resultant fruit and closeness with HaShem (YVHH, Yeshua(Jesus), His Son and the Holy Spirit are well worth it.

        I tried the OK TO BE GAY scene, the g0y philosophy scene (a compromised variant and I am not a goy)and the Holy Spirit would NOT let me feel comfortable in these compromises.

        These humanistic and thwarted twists of the standards that G-d has stated in His Word (both Testaments) are "angels of light", "pretty poisons". Media is saturated with these neo-philisophies and poltical correctness but G-d has ALWAYS worked with a remnant who often were ridiculed for their adherence to Him.


        InHim,

        Ezra

        --- In exgaydiscussionboard@yahoogroups.com, Paul Gaetani <paulgaetani@...> wrote:
        >
        >
        > Hi Frank, Pay no attention to what your former acquaintance says. You know the truth. You know better. I agree, it is indeed blasphemy to suggest that God has made a person gay. There is no evidence that person is born with homo OR heterosexual tendencies. Gender identity, role and expression is all learned behavior. Yes, we know there are personality types that are higher risk, for lack of a better term, for developing same sex attraction. You know whom you have believed! Don't listen to those seductive words, stand firm! Besides, evidence shows that men who have unwanted same sex attraction can take steps to reduce and in many cases eliminate it. So what difference would it make if a person were born that way? People are born with brown hair and change it! If it is an expression of your faith in God and His word to chose another way, it is a sure fire thing you will be attacked because of it. Those attacks are confirmation you are doing the right thing. I believe there are spiritual forces that engage in battle over such things, and when we are in the service of the Lord of Righteousness, attacks will come. Stand firm on the rock my brother and know you are not alone! Paul > To: Brothers-Keepers@yahoogroups.com; Ex-Gay_International@yahoogroups.com; exgaydiscussionboard@yahoogroups.com; exgaymensministry@yahoogroups.com; ex-gays@yahoogroups.com; PeopleCanChange3@yahoogroups.com; ex-gay@yahoogroups.com; exgaydates@yahoogroups.com; overcoming_unwanted_ssa@yahoogroups.com
        > > From: frschoonover@...
        > > Date: Mon, 26 Dec 2011 13:28:45 -0800
        > > Subject: [ExGDBd] I Could Use Some Encouraging Words Right Now
        > >
        > > To All Who Support Change
        > >
        > >
        > >
        > > I am really looking for some encouraging words and support right now. I am learning each and every day that there are people, both male and female, who are opposed to the message of truth that Homosexuality is an emotional condition that can be changed in Heterosexuality if the person seeking this change is really serious about it. I recently had a run in with a former aquaintance of mine who is still a very active Homosexual and he asked me a question as to where I am since leaving the "Homosexual/Gay" lifestyle behind.
        > >
        > > At first, I really didn't know what to say as this question really put me in a corner. But I did answer his question and I will also share what he said as well alongside it.
        > >
        > > I shared with him many of the stories that I have rehashed many times. I shared with him the constant physical and emotional abuse that I had suffered and endured at the hands of my overbearing religious fanatic father who supposedly follows "born-again Christianity" and used that religion as an excuse to do what he did to me. He also heavily insisted that we has giving me was "good old fashioned Christian discipline". He repeatedly beat me with a thick leather strap and even used his own hands to slap me in other areas of my body, especially my face. My mother would rescue me from my father, but the damage was already done. Before that, I was a happy little boy, but after my father's abuse, I became an angry boy that later became an angry man when he became a man. I have had anger in me for many years with most of it
        > > geared towards my father. I was also angry at others for disrespecting me and I had used my anger too many times as it later became a real problem when I at times got into serious trouble as a result.I had friends who wouldn't talk to me and I was never included in their fun once I was cut off. I am in therapy now for that and other things that I will explain. Overall, I never really got my father's love. All I got was his emasculation and his name calling and insults and all that physical and emotional abuse that I suffered and endured at his hand in the name of "born-again Christianity".
        > >
        > > I also explained to him all the sexual abuse that I suffered and endured when I was growing up. I shared with him that at 7, I witnessed a man who had lived in my neighborhood masturbating in front of me. He invited me into his house and when I walked up to his bathroom, I saw him doing that until he climaxed in the sink. At 10, a 16 year old kid talked me
        > > into performing oral sex on him. The worst was when I was 16, when another man who lived in my neighborhood actually raped me when, after we were both out of our clothes, he tried to ram his genitals up my rectum without the use of a condom. It really hut like you wouldn't believe. At times, I still get a stabbing pain when I have to defecate as a vivid reminder of that rape episode. There were also other instances when I used and abused by other males for their pleasure where I never got anything back from them. It all really messed me up.
        > >
        > > I also shared with him all the books that I had read, both spiritual and secular, with him and that after reading books like You Don't Have To Be Gay by Jeff Konrad and Coming Out of Homosexuality by Bob Davies and Lori Rentzel, I had felt that a enormous weight had been lifted off of me as over twenty years of questions were finally answered by both of them, mainly from what I read in Jeff Konrad's book. I
        > > also shared with him the books that I had read from Dr. Joseph Nicolosi, which were Reparative Therapy of Male Homosexuality and Healing Homosexuality: Case Stories of Reparative Therapy. I read others that had the same basic stuff, but still gave me more insight into the condition.
        > >
        > > Here is how he answered and I'll try not to make it too long:
        > >
        > > He said that "being 'Gay' is not a lifestyle choice. Being 'Gay' is who you are just as being white and being male is a 'fact' as well. The sooner you accept that 'fact' and make peace with 'the truth' the sooner you will become a whole person. God does not make mistakes and He created you the way that you are. If you choose to be celebate/chaste, that is perfectly fine. The apostle Paul chose that lifestyle as well. But don't castigate yourself unnecessarily for something you can do NOTHING about."
        > >
        > > He added "The authors who write diatribes about 'coming out of Homosexuality and being FREE' are promoting lies and deceit. Sure, their intentions are good, however misguided- but to criticize God for the way that you are created is tantamount to blasphemy"
        > >
        > > His reason for sharing all of that he wanted me to "simply relax and be the Frank R.Schoonover that God intended me to be."
        > >
        > > My viewpoint and I also want to caution that I will be bringing up some spiritual stuff in this as without God and his son Jesus Christ, the healing process out of Homosexuality would be impossible. Try not to be mad nor offended by any spiritual things that I bring up.
        > >
        > > What he was trying to say that I should accept myself as "Homosexual/Gay" and that there is nothing that be done about it. I was "born this way" and that it is unchangeable. The worst part of it is that he had the nerve to bring up God and the Apostle Paul. Don't get me wrong, I know that God made me a male and I have already accepted my gender identity as male. But what really rubbed me the wrong way was that, in his own words, God made me "Homosexual/Gay" and that it would be blasphemy for me not to accept myself a God given "Homosexual/Gay" man. I also hated that he brought up the Apostle Paul and his chasteness while he was alive serving our Creator in the name of his Jesus Christ. True, Paul did live life in chastity, but didn't he write that those "men who lie with men" wouldn't inherit God's kingdom? Isn't it blasphemy to live a sinful life knowing that God forbids such things, such as sexual relations between two members of the same gender? Isn't
        > > it blasphemy to even suggest that God makes people "Homosexual/Gay" when he really doesn't at all? When I heard that, It really brought me down. It is like that I wasted all of my energy rehashing those terrible and dreadful experiences that are the reasons why I struggle with Homosexuality/SSA to this day and I am still struggling. Apparently, I am still learning that each and every day that the world opposes the real truth about Homosexuality and opposes those who accept that truth and do whatever it takes to change and be the people, male or female, that God wants them to be.
        > >
        > > God wants everyone, male or female, to be Heterosexual as that is what God intended all humans to be as that was also he intended sexuality to be as well. God never intended for sexuality to be used and abused the way that the world is using it at the moment since the fall from perfection when the first man and woman, Adam and Eve, sinned against God in the Garden of Eden and when they were thrown out, they led mankind into imperfection, sin and death. Of course, it was one of God's angels who later became Satan the Devil who led Adam and Eve to sin in the garden and then thrown out. As a result, the angel of God's who became the devil, not only got the very first humans thrown out of the garden, but he created sexual immorality as well and the sexual activity between two members of the same gender is considered sexual immorality in the eyes of God.
        > >
        > > Jesus Christ himself said that if "anyone wanted to follow him, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me." I interpret this to mean that if we want to follow Christ and his example, we have to disown our sinful nature and suppress our desires for anything out of sexual immorality, including the sexual activity between two members of the same gender, and simply fight them the best that we can in our imperfect state.
        > >
        > > Again, I have already accepted myself as a male as that is my gender identity. God made me a male for a reason and I also know that he wants me to become the Heterosexual man that he wants me to be and intended me to be. God does not make anyone, male or female, Homosexual at all. If he condemns the sexual activity associated with Homosexuality, that alone should show that he only approves of healthy and happy Heterosexuality as God created man and woman for that reason. Since I am a male, I am biologically hard wired to be compatible with a female as I have a penis and that is be used only for the purpose of sexual relations with a female as the vast majority of females have a vagina for that purpose and not to be used for the immoral practice of sexual relations with another male.
        > >
        > > The Holy Bible also states that when any two people engage in any type of sexual intercourse, they both become one flesh. It doesn't matter what type of intercourse it is. If one man uses his genitals for the use of sexual intercourse with another male, it is considered that the two have become one flesh in the same manner that it is considered when a man and a woman engage in normal intercourse that God intended.
        > >
        > > I am still striving to be the man that God wants me to be and that is not a Homosexual man, but a Heterosexual man.
        > >
        > > Right now, as a result of those words by that active Homosexual man, I am feeling really down at the moment and I really need some support and encouragement. If anyone in this group can help me out here, please do so as I would really appreciate that. I am being tempted to act out in other ways at the moment and though I haven't given into the temptation as I am still fighting it and I really need some encouragement and advice. Please help me fight through this so it can fade into memory and everything. Thanks.
        > >
        > > Please forgive the length of this post. I just had a lot to say and I really need some help, support and encouragement. Again, please forgive the length.
        > >
        > > I hope that everyone has a wonderful day. Take care all.Sincerely Frank R.Schoonover
        > >
        > >
        > > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
        > >
        > >
        > >
        > > ------------------------------------
        > >
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        > >
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