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RE: [ExGDBd] Re: Review of "Prayers for Bobby" movie by Bridget Night, author of "Prayers for Johnathan"

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  • Bridget Night
    Thanks for explaining Troy and please know I never meant to imply that you were that type of guy. Your posts have always made me feel that you really did try
    Message 1 of 10 , Jan 28, 2009
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      Thanks for explaining Troy and please know I never meant to imply that you
      were that type of guy. Your posts have always made me feel that you
      really did try and were not given a fair chance. I am sorry that you have
      had it so hard and hope you will be blest for all your efforts. Bridget

      -----Original Message-----
      From: exgaydiscussionboard@yahoogroups.com
      [mailto:exgaydiscussionboard@yahoogroups.com] On Behalf Of bondtk
      Sent: Wednesday, January 28, 2009 9:48 PM
      To: exgaydiscussionboard@yahoogroups.com
      Subject: [ExGDBd] Re: Review of "Prayers for Bobby" movie by Bridget
      Night, author of "Prayers for Johnathan"



      Bridget,

      Thanks for your note back and I did want to clarify my situation more
      to you as your message might leave people to assume that I abandoned
      my children and wife which is not so. I may have cheated on my wife
      with men over a 2 1/2 year period, but I always told her point blank
      that I would always care for them and I always have the best I can
      from this distance between us. It was her
      decision for me to find an apartment and then her decision two days
      later to leave the state and empty our home of all
      belongings (and place it in storage) and take the children away. And
      I can't count the number of times
      I've begged her to come home to help fix our marriage only to no
      response and hurtful and harmful "punishing" actions. I've not been
      punished enough in her eyes it seems. I know there are men that just
      say, "I'm outta here" and never look back, but that was not me. And
      as far as communication goes, I've tried to set up a face-to-face
      meeting with her and she totally refuses to sit down and talk to the
      man she was married to now 16 years! How can you ever expect to fix
      a marriage without communication? I've asked for forgiveness from
      her at least 3 times and even called most of her 5 siblings to ask
      the same from them. She wanted me to go to counseling and I finally
      did for a year (by myself) and she criticized the man with every
      conversation about it. Her biggest hang up is wanting me to go
      before our former church (who told me never to come through the doors
      again or they would physically drag me out and I'm not exaggerating)
      and make a public "confession" of sorts so I can be further
      humiliated than I already am and I refuse to do that.

      So I've tried to do everything right but nothing makes a difference.
      I have a long way to go and don't think for a moment that I'm
      completely on the "str8" and narrow, but my heart's desire is to get
      there.

      Troy
      --- In exgaydiscussionboar <mailto:exgaydiscussionboard%40yahoogroups.com>
      d@yahoogroups.com, "Bridget Night"
      <BridgetNight123@...> wrote:
      >
      > DearTroy,
      >
      >
      >
      > Thank you for your feedback on my review. I really appreciated
      that. I
      > have talked to many wives and ex wives of SSA men. Many are bitter
      like
      > your wife, but it is often because the SSA husband has cheated on
      them so
      > many times with other men and then abandoned them and their kids
      > financially. I told them I thought that was not a matter of them
      being
      > SSA but character. Whether gay or straight, you should not cheat on
      your
      > mate and abandon your kids. That is a huge character flaw. I have an
      > ex-gay guy friend who is developing heterosexual feelings and would
      like
      > to find a wife, but then he tells me she will have to understand if
      he
      > falls once in a while. If my look could kill, he would have been
      dead on
      > the spot. I told him it would only take once and I would be out of
      there.
      > Now, I do understand that married people fall sometimes and
      marriages are
      > hard and forgiveness is important. But, people who cheat and bring
      back
      > diseases and live a lie need help. I have talked to wives who have
      tried
      > so hard to learn about this issue and help their husbands through
      it and
      > their marriages have worked out well. It is not easy, but no
      marriages
      > are. My husband is not gay, but he has some of the problems a gay
      man has
      > because of the emotional incest from his mom. Without therapy and
      > counseling we would have never made it. I had to learn not to
      personalize
      > his not pursuing me as a woman sexually and learn to love my self
      more. I
      > had to learn that I cannot make another person responsible for my
      > happiness and become more independent. There are many good women
      out
      > there and I think the most important thing is communication and
      heart to
      > heart talks and honesty.
      >
      >
      >
      > Bridget
      >
      >
      >
      > www.1stbooks.com/bookview/12053
      >
      >
      >
      > -----Original Message-----
      > From: exgaydiscussionboar
      <mailto:exgaydiscussionboard%40yahoogroups.com> d@yahoogroups.com
      > [mailto:exgaydiscussionboar
      <mailto:exgaydiscussionboard%40yahoogroups.com> d@yahoogroups.com] On
      Behalf Of bondtk
      > Sent: Sunday, January 25, 2009 11:21 PM
      > To: exgaydiscussionboar <mailto:exgaydiscussionboard%40yahoogroups.com>
      d@yahoogroups.com
      > Subject: [ExGDBd] Re: Review of "Prayers for Bobby" movie by Bridget
      > Night, author of "Prayers for Johnathan"
      >
      >
      >
      > Bridget, I just have to say that your review of your movie was just
      > excellent! Thank you for writing what you did! Even your post was
      > very touching to me. I look forward to getting your book soon and
      > I'll definately let you know my thoughts! Your shining beacon for
      > your son is so encouraging to me. My scenario is a bit different
      > being a married (soon divorced) man with a wife that refuses to even
      > listen to anything like what you have just written. She's betrayed
      > and very bitter, I know. There is no reasoning with her on any
      > account and feels our entire marriage was a fraud and it just isn't
      > so. Could she understand how this comes about and the feelings from
      > early on in a cihld's life, maybe she wouldn't be this way.
      > Thankfully, my parents (who do not agree with any homosexual
      > behavior) did not disown me as the mother in the movie portrayed
      (but
      > even then she held on to hope for Bobby). Had they also rejected me
      > as harshly as others have thus far, my story may have ended as
      tragic
      > as Bobby's.
      >
      > Thanks again for your wonderful post! I had to print it out for
      > future reference and I think I'll send your comments along to my
      > parents and siblings for them to read another mother's perspective!
      > If only there were a wife out there who's husband had the same issue
      > and was able to stick by her husband to truly help him out. I'd so
      > be interested in hearing from someone like that too.
      >
      > Troy
      >
      > --- In exgaydiscussionboar <mailto:exgaydiscussionboard%
      40yahoogroups.com>
      > d@yahoogroups. <mailto:d%40yahoogroups.com> com, "Bridget Night"
      > <BridgetNight123@> wrote:
      > >
      > > Last night my husband and I watched "Prayers for Bobby' together.
      > It was tough on both of us, but we were glad we saw it. This is one
      > of the most difficult reviews to write, as this movie hit me right
      > between the eyes. It was powerfully done and did an excellent job in
      > portraying the feelings of the gay son and his family. I cried in so
      > many parts. My husband could relate to the father in a number of
      > ways. There was a great deal I could relate to as well.
      > >
      > > I cried while watching this beautiful young man, Bobby, wrestle
      > with his feelings. Interesting, how this gay son was thought of, as
      > the 'perfect' and kindest child in the family, which is often the
      > case in many families. This actor did a fantastic job at
      > demonstrating the enormous pain our SSA youth go through when
      > discovering they have these feelings and they don't seem to go away.
      > I imagine this is especially true when raised in a strong Christian
      > family. This part of the movie brought back so many memories of the
      > times my son was so scared that his family and everyone would hate
      > him if they found out. At church, the only thing he heard about
      > homosexuality was that it was an abomination and his teacher was
      > sure, 'no one in our church had that kind of problem.' Like Bobby,
      > my son thought he was going to hell because he had these feelings.
      > Bobby did an excellent job at trying so hard to be and act straight,
      > as did my son. Both Bobby and Johnathan tried so hard to please God
      > and do whatever it took to become straight. They prayed, read
      > scriptures, and went to therapists. My son actually liked some of
      his
      > counselors and even enjoyed some of the exodus and evergreen classes
      > he attended. Bobby was trying hard to do that too, although his
      > psychologist was a pain in the 'you know where' and the Christian
      > leaders, with the other youth, were trying to portray how easy it
      was
      > to overcome your problems if you just accepted Christ. The movie did
      > a great job at showing the tremendous pressure there can be put on
      > SSA youth. One of the most difficult parts of this movie, was to
      > watch the self-loathing Bobby had. Like Bobby, my son wrote in a
      > journal. Like Mary Griffith, my husband and I later read in
      > Johnathan's journal and we were horrified at all the self-hatred
      that
      > Johnathan spilled out on those pages. This movie did an excellent
      > job at showing how painful it is to try and fit in socially, and
      > constantly keeping your feelings secret. Getting excited if another
      > boy smiled at you and then having those feelings dashed when he saw
      > it was for a girl. I will never forget the day my son was told by a
      > high school buddy, whom he had fallen in love with, that he was no
      > longer a virgin and had had sex with a girl. It devastated him and
      > he cried all day. For so long, I did not understand what my son was
      > going through privately. This movie demonstrated it well.
      > >
      > > The movie showed the generational difference with grandma
      > expressing how all those fags should be hung and shot. I think this
      > movie did portray a typical Christian family who really did love
      each
      > other and the Lord but had no clue as to how to handle this kind of
      > situation. They were close and loving and wanted everyone to feel
      > they could come to each other for help. Even when Bobby's SSA came
      > out and he felt so betrayed, his siblings kept trying to show they
      > loved him. In my book, I express all the ways our family tried to
      > show love to our son when he came out. I had to laugh when the
      > psychologist asked Bobby if he had ever had sex with girls and how
      > could he possibly know he was gay since he had not. That very thing
      > happened to my son by our minister and of course my son threw the
      > question back in our ministers face by asking him how he knew he was
      > heterosexual before he got married and had sex with his wife. Seeing
      > the whole family in therapy was something I could relate to as well.
      > My husband felt like he was a failure as a father, and I was the bad
      > mother. Everyone blames each other. Mary Griffith's desire to 'cure'
      > and heal her son were understanding. Her frantic worrying and trying
      > so hard was also something I could relate too. You feel so desperate
      > as a Christian mom to save your son. To you this is a 911 emergency
      > and Sigourney Weaver did a great job at portraying that. I could
      > relate to and laugh when Mary Griffith says, "You know those gays
      > have sex in bathrooms everywhere and I am sure they recruited
      > Bobby." The part that this mother did wrong, was in not listening to
      > her son or reading the material he wanted her to read. Very typical,
      > was when Bobby told his mom, "All you care about is how you look to
      > others." There were so many emotions jam packed in this movie that
      > made it so powerful to me. Bobby opening up the birthday gift with a
      > sweater and AIDS tracts in it was even understandable. As a mom, who
      > is trying to help her son, you get a lot of info (some of which is
      so
      > wrong) and get scared to death that you will have to watch your son
      > die of some STD. Ms Weaver did a great job at showing how obsessed
      > and crazy you can become because my book shows how I was there too,
      > although I believe I did things in a much more understanding and
      > loving way.
      > >
      > > It is also understandable that this mom would be desperate for
      > closure and answers after her sons death. The guilt of the mom and
      > whole family was understandable as well. The confusion as to why God
      > had not healed her son and his suicide, would be overwhelming. Mary
      > Griffith finally reads the book her son had sent her and attends the
      > MCC church her son had gone to. Even a lot of the logic of the MCC
      > minister and her questioning him was done well. Her speech to the
      > city council at the end was powerful, even though I do not agree
      with
      > all of her conclusions. I can even see how PFLAG could help many
      > parents and families to deal with this, but it has never felt right
      > for me. Just like left-handedness is not the norm, homosexuality is
      > not normal. Even Mary Griffith at the end said 'how can you hate
      > someone for being born with no arms.' Having same-sex feelings is
      > not a sin. Watching the family march in the gay parade with people
      on
      > the floats that flaunt deviant behavior to me was difficult. I do
      > believe God created male and female with a plan to be as one and
      > create families. This is the norm, but for whatever reason, some do
      > not have these normal feelings and how are they to live and deal
      with
      > this. I know change is possible for some and others find more peace
      > in living celibate rather than in a gay relationship. Some, with SSA
      > are able to function heterosexually, marry, and live a happy life,
      > but it seems that for many, there are only two choices. One, live
      > celibate and fill your life with other things that can bring you
      > happiness, even though you are often frustrated with some human
      needs
      > not being met or two, meet your emotional and physical needs with a
      > same sex partner. In my book, the pro-gay Danish young man forces me
      > to ask myself a lot of questions that I have never had to deal with
      > before. We discuss all these questions back and forth with great
      love
      > and respect for each other. I just talked to this young man on IM
      > last night and we are so looking forward to seeing each other for
      the
      > first time in Denmark this June. I will be meeting the mate he
      > married and will be very loving to him. My son has a boyfriend right
      > now and is choosing to have a gay relationship. It is not what I
      > would want for him and he knows that. But, he also knows that I will
      > not reject him and his boyfriend. I will love them in any way I can.
      > They would be welcomed at Christmas and family gatherings. God has
      > forced me to understand my son in ways I never thought I could. How
      > do you deal with 'forbidden' love when you have such powerful needs
      > which God has instilled in all of us. The only answer I have gotten
      > was what I wrote in the final ending of my book which I would like
      to
      > post here:
      > >
      > > BRIDGET'S FINAL COMMENTARY
      > >
      > > When I first began writing this book my dream was that my son and
      > Soren would be cured, and participating in the ex-gay marches. I
      > wanted to see them happily married as heterosexuals with children
      and
      > active in my Christian faith. I wanted to show the pain and
      suffering
      > from a Christian parents perspective. I also wanted parents to
      > understand where the child, with the same-sex attraction, was coming
      > from. For a year and a half I was obsessed with trying to help Soren
      > and my son understand that homosexuality was wrong and that they
      > should seek reparative therapy. I pointed out all the research and
      > information I could come up with. Sometimes, I thought I was making
      > real progress when I could get Johnathan and Soren to agree with me
      > on certain points, such as the disease factor, the often broken
      > relationship with the same-sex parent, and the many multiple
      partners
      > problem. I would get frustrated and even angry when I couldn't get
      > them to want reparative therapy.
      > >
      > > On January 13, 2001, after going through more than a year of
      > tremendous suffering myself, I suddenly came to some realizations. I
      > don't know why it took me so long to see or understand some
      important
      > truths, but I began to realize what the Savior wanted me to learn.
      He
      > wanted me to look beyond my own pain; beyond the fact that
      homosexual
      > sex was wrong. My son, Johnathan, had just "come out" to his friends
      > and admitted that he was gay. That devastated me and I had a panic
      > attack. I was scared to death that Johnathan would be called
      terrible
      > names, loose friendships and even be beat up. As I was trying to
      come
      > to terms with this, the story of the blind man, whom Jesus talked
      > about to his disciples, came to my mind. In Christ's day, blindness
      > was thought to be caused because a person had sinned. So, when Jesus
      > passed by a blind man, who had been blind since birth, His disciples
      > asked Christ, "Master, who did sin, this man, or his parents, that
      he
      > was born blind? Jesus answered, Neither hath this man sinned, nor
      his
      > parents: but that the works of God should be made manifest in
      > him."(John 9:1-3) You can't imagine the peaceful feeling I had at
      > this moment of realization. Yes, it is not good to be blind,
      > retarded, or to have a same-sex attraction, but it is not a sin.
      > Similarly, a person may be predisposed to alcoholism or a bad
      temper.
      > But, he is not sinning unless he acts upon these inclinations. These
      > people are not awful, or deserving of ridicule because they have any
      > of these conditions. They need love and compassion so much more.
      > >
      > > Then I began to think of what happened to many great religious
      > leaders when they "came out" with information they had kept inside
      of
      > them for a long time. Martin Luther, a religious reformer, could no
      > longer keep it inside that certain religious teachings in his faith
      > were abominable teachings. For this he was persecuted by many in his
      > church. Joseph Smith, the Mormon prophet, was persecuted, ridiculed
      > and murdered when he "came out" with his first vision, that God was
      > going to restore the Church of Jesus Christ. But most importantly,
      > when Jesus "came out" at the age of 30, after keeping it inside of
      > him all this time, that "He was indeed, the Son of God, and the
      > Savior of mankind", he was not only scorned, ridiculed, and
      tortured,
      > but CRUCIFIED.
      > >
      > > Many people in our churches today are fearful of "Coming Out."
      > Here, the term "coming out," means admitting or confessing you have
      a
      > problem and need help. My son, Johnathan, was terrified to "come
      > out" and tell us that he was struggling with a same sex attraction
      > problem because he thought we would kick him out of the house and
      > that the church would condemn him to hell for having these feelings.
      > Believing this, left him with only one option: Reject God and the
      > church! I realize that some people who read this might be offended
      > that I use the term "coming out" in the paragraph above when
      > describing religious leaders, especially Jesus Christ. But, I used
      > the term to make the point that no one should be shunned or
      > persecuted for expressing what they sincerely believe in. The blind,
      > the retarded, the smoker, the alcoholic, the adulteress , and the
      gay
      > person all have problems. They, like all of us, need "The Hospital
      > for the Sick", the Church. It is my prayer that this book may bring
      > repentance to us all and a new perspective for all of us who claim
      to
      > follow the "Gospel of Love."
      > >
      > >
      > >
      > >
      > >
      > >
      > >
      > >
      > > http://evergreenboo
      > <http://evergreenboo
      <http://evergreenbooksales.com/bookstore/product_info.php?>
      ksales.com/bookstore/product_info.php?>
      > ksales.com/bookstore/product_info.php?
      > cPath=27&products_id=84<http://evergreenboo
      > <http://evergreenboo <http://evergreenbooksales.com/bookstore/produc>
      ksales.com/bookstore/produc>
      > ksales.com/bookstore/produc
      > t_info.php?cPath=27&products_id=84>
      > > Or:
      > > http://www.authorho
      > <http://www.authorho
      <http://www.authorhouse.com/BookStore/ItemDetail.aspx?>
      use.com/BookStore/ItemDetail.aspx?>
      > use.com/BookStore/ItemDetail.aspx?
      > bookid=12053<http://www.authorho
      > <http://www.authorho
      <http://www.authorhouse.com/BookStore/ItemDetail.aspx?>
      use.com/BookStore/ItemDetail.aspx?>
      > use.com/BookStore/ItemDetail.aspx?
      > bookid=12053>.
      > >
      > > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
      > >
      >
      >
      >
      >
      >
      > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
      >





      [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
    • ctickle777
      Hi Bridget, I have to agree with Tom! This was an awesome movie review as well as a candid and inspirational account of your own personal experiences. Although
      Message 2 of 10 , Feb 27, 2009
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        Hi Bridget,

        I have to agree with Tom! This was an awesome movie review as well as
        a candid and inspirational account of your own personal experiences.
        Although I don't have a son with SSA, I can relate to your
        interpretation as a mother. You have such a heart for those who
        struggle with this and I know you are a tremendous blessing in your
        son's life, and the lives of those, like Soren, who desperately
        benefit from your Christ-like, grace-filled example!

        God bless you and thank you for sharing!

        Christa

        --- In exgaydiscussionboard@yahoogroups.com, Thomas Morey
        <moreytom@...> wrote:
        >
        > Oh, this is wonderful, Bridget! I'm learning much from you.
        >  
        > Blessings,
        >  
        > Tom
        >
        > --- On Sun, 1/25/09, Bridget Night <BridgetNight123@...> wrote:
        >
        > From: Bridget Night <BridgetNight123@...>
        > Subject: [Ex-Gay_International] Review of "Prayers for Bobby" movie
        by Bridget Night, author of "Prayers for Johnathan"
        > To:
        > Date: Sunday, January 25, 2009, 11:48 AM
        >
        >
        >
        >
        >
        >
        >
        > Last night my husband and I watched "Prayers for Bobby' together. It
        was tough on both of us, but we were glad we saw it. This is one of
        the most difficult reviews to write, as this movie hit me right
        between the eyes. It was powerfully done and did an excellent job in
        portraying the feelings of the gay son and his family.  I cried in so
        many parts. My husband could relate to the father in a number of ways.
         There was a great deal I could relate to as well.
        >  
        > I cried while watching this beautiful young man, Bobby, wrestle with
        his feelings. Interesting, how this gay son was thought of, as the
        'perfect' and kindest child in the family, which is often the case in
        many families. This actor did a fantastic job at demonstrating the
        enormous pain our SSA youth go through when discovering they have
        these feelings and they don't seem to go away. I imagine this is
        especially true when raised in a strong Christian family.  This part
        of the movie brought back so many memories of the times my son was so
        scared that his family and everyone would hate him if they found out.
        At church, the only thing he heard about homosexuality was that it was
        an abomination and his teacher was sure, 'no one in our church had
        that kind of problem.'  Like Bobby, my son thought he was going to
        hell because he had these feelings.  Bobby did an excellent job at
        trying so hard to be and act straight, as did my son.  Both Bobby and
        > Johnathan tried so hard to please God and do whatever it took to
        become straight.  They prayed, read scriptures, and went
        to therapists. My son actually liked some of his counselors and even
        enjoyed some of the exodus and evergreen classes he attended. Bobby
        was trying hard to do that too, although his psychologist was a pain
        in the 'you know where' and the Christian leaders, with the other
        youth, were trying to portray how easy it was to overcome your
        problems if you just accepted Christ. The movie did a great job at
        showing the tremendous pressure there can be put on SSA youth.  One of
        the most difficult parts of this movie, was to watch the self-loathing
        Bobby had. Like Bobby, my son wrote in a journal.  Like Mary Griffith,
        my husband and I later read in Johnathan's journal and we were
        horrified at all the self-hatred that Johnathan spilled out on those
        pages.  This movie did an excellent job at showing how painful it is
        to try and fit
        > in socially, and constantly keeping your feelings secret. Getting
        excited if another boy smiled at you and then having those feelings
        dashed when he saw it was for a girl.  I will never forget the day my
        son was told by a high school buddy, whom he had fallen in love with,
        that he was no longer a virgin and had had sex with a girl.  It
        devastated him and he cried all day.  For so long, I did not
        understand what my son was going through privately.  This movie
        demonstrated it well.
        >  
        > The movie showed the generational difference with grandma expressing
        how all those fags should be hung and shot.  I think this movie did
        portray a typical Christian family who really did love each other and
        the Lord but had no clue as to how to handle this kind of situation. 
        They were close and loving and wanted everyone to feel they could come
        to each other for help.  Even when Bobby's SSA came out and he felt so
        betrayed, his siblings kept trying to show they loved him. In my book,
        I  express all the ways our family tried to show love to our son when
        he came out.  I had to laugh when the psychologist asked Bobby if he
        had ever had sex with girls and how could he possibly know he was gay
        since he had not.  That very thing happened to my son by our minister
        and of course my son threw the question back in our ministers face by
        asking him how he knew he was heterosexual before he got married and
        had sex with his wife.  Seeing the whole family in
        > therapy was something I could relate to as well.  My husband felt
        like he was a failure as a father, and I was the bad mother.  Everyone
        blames each other. Mary Griffith's desire to 'cure' and heal her son
        were understanding.  Her frantic worrying and trying so hard was also
        something I could relate too.  You feel so desperate as a Christian
        mom to save your son.  To you this is a 911 emergency and Sigourney
        Weaver did a great job at portraying that.  I could relate to and
        laugh when Mary Griffith says, "You know those gays have sex in
        bathrooms everywhere and I am sure they recruited Bobby."  The part
        that this mother did wrong, was in not listening to her son or reading
        the material he wanted her to read.  Very typical, was when Bobby told
        his mom, "All you care about is how you look to others."  There were
        so many emotions jam packed in this movie that made it so powerful to
        me.  Bobby opening up the birthday gift with a sweater and AIDS
        > tracts in it was even understandable.  As a mom, who is trying to
        help her son, you get a lot of info (some of which is so wrong) and
        get scared to death that you will have to watch your son die of some
        STD.  Ms Weaver did a great job at showing how obsessed and crazy you
        can become because my book shows how I was there too, although I
        believe I did things in a much more understanding and loving way.
        >  
        > It is also understandable that this mom would be desperate for
        closure and answers after her sons death.  The guilt of the mom and
        whole family was understandable as well.  The confusion as to why God
        had not healed her son and his suicide, would be overwhelming. Mary
        Griffith finally reads the book her son had sent her and attends the
        MCC church her son had gone to.  Even a lot of the logic of the MCC
        minister and her questioning him was done well.  Her speech to the
        city council at the end was powerful, even though I do not agree with
        all of her conclusions.  I can even see how PFLAG could help many
        parents and families to deal with this, but it has never felt right
        for me. Just like left-handedness is not the norm, homosexuality is
        not normal.  Even Mary Griffith at the end said 'how can you hate
        someone for being born with no arms.'  Having same-sex feelings is not
        a sin. Watching the family march in the gay parade with people on the
        floats
        > that flaunt deviant behavior to me was difficult.  I do believe God
        created male and female with a plan to be as one and create families. 
        This is the norm, but for whatever reason, some do not have these
        normal feelings and how are they to live and deal with this.  I know
        change is possible for some and others find more peace in living
        celibate rather than in a gay relationship.  Some, with SSA are able
        to function heterosexually, marry, and live a happy life, but it seems
        that for many, there are only two choices. One, live celibate and fill
        your life with other things that can bring you happiness, even though
        you are often frustrated with some human needs not being met or two,
        meet your emotional and physical needs with a same sex partner.  In my
        book, the pro-gay Danish young man forces me to ask myself a lot of
        questions that I have never had to deal with before. We discuss all
        these questions back and forth with great love and respect for
        > each other.  I just talked to this young man on IM last night and
        we are so looking forward to seeing each other for the first time in
        Denmark this June. I will be meeting the mate he married and will be
        very loving to him.  My son has a boyfriend right now and is choosing
        to have a gay relationship.  It is not what I would want for him and
        he knows that.  But, he also knows that I will not reject him and his
        boyfriend. I will love them in any way I can.  They would be welcomed
        at Christmas and family gatherings. God has forced me to understand my
        son in ways I never thought I could.  How do you deal with 'forbidden'
        love when you have such powerful needs which God has instilled in all
        of us.  The only answer I have gotten was what I wrote in the final
        ending of my book which I would like to post here:
        >  
        >  BRIDGET'S FINAL COMMENTARY
        >  
        > When I first began writing this book my dream was that my son and
        Soren would be cured, and participating in the ex-gay marches. I
        wanted to see them happily married as heterosexuals with children and
        active in my Christian faith. I wanted to show the pain and suffering
        from a Christian parents perspective. I also wanted parents to
        understand where the child, with the same-sex attraction, was coming
        from. For a year and a half I was obsessed with trying to help Soren
        and my son understand that homosexuality was wrong and that they
        should seek reparative therapy. I pointed out all the research and
        information I could come up with. Sometimes, I thought I was making
        real progress when I could get Johnathan and Soren to agree with me on
        certain points, such as the disease factor, the often broken
        relationship with the same-sex parent, and the many multiple partners
        problem. I would get frustrated and even angry when I couldn't get
        them to want reparative
        > therapy.
        >  
        > On January 13, 2001, after going through more than a year of
        tremendous suffering myself, I suddenly came to some realizations. I
        don't know why it took me so long to see or understand some important
        truths, but I began to realize what the Savior wanted me to learn. He
        wanted me to look beyond my own pain; beyond the fact that homosexual
        sex was wrong.  My son, Johnathan, had just "come out" to his friends
        and admitted that he was gay. That devastated me and I had a panic
        attack. I was scared to death that Johnathan would be called terrible
        names, loose friendships and even be beat up. As I was trying to come
        to terms with this, the story of the blind man, whom Jesus talked
        about to his disciples, came to my mind. In Christ's day, blindness
        was thought to be caused because a person had sinned. So, when Jesus
        passed by a blind man, who had been blind since birth, His disciples
        asked Christ, "Master, who did sin, this man, or his parents, that
        > he was born blind? Jesus answered, Neither hath this man sinned,
        nor his parents: but that the works of God should be made manifest in
        him."(John 9:1-3)  You can't imagine the peaceful feeling I had at
        this moment of realization. Yes, it is not good to be blind, retarded,
        or to have a same-sex attraction, but it is not a sin. Similarly, a
        person may be predisposed to alcoholism or a bad temper. But, he is
        not sinning unless he acts upon these inclinations. These people are
        not awful, or deserving of ridicule because they have any of these
        conditions. They need love and compassion so much more.
        >  
        > Then I began to think of what happened to many great religious
        leaders when they "came out" with information they had kept inside of
        them for a long time. Martin Luther, a religious reformer, could no
        longer keep it inside that certain religious teachings in his faith
        were abominable teachings. For this he was persecuted by many in his
        church. Joseph Smith, the Mormon prophet, was persecuted, ridiculed
        and murdered when he "came out" with his first vision, that God was
        going to restore the Church of Jesus Christ. But most importantly,
        when Jesus "came out" at the age of 30, after keeping it inside of him
        all this time, that "He was indeed, the Son of God, and the Savior of
        mankind", he was not only scorned, ridiculed, and tortured, but CRUCIFIED.
        >  
        > Many people in our churches today are fearful of "Coming Out." Here,
        the term "coming out," means admitting or confessing you have a
        problem and need help.  My son, Johnathan, was terrified to "come out"
        and tell us that he was struggling with a same sex attraction problem
        because he thought we would kick him out of the house and that the
        church would condemn him to hell for having these feelings. Believing
        this, left him with only one option: Reject God and the church! I
        realize that some people who read this might be offended that I use
        the term "coming out" in the paragraph above when describing religious
        leaders, especially Jesus Christ. But, I used the term to make the
        point that no one should be shunned or persecuted for expressing what
        they sincerely believe in. The blind, the retarded, the smoker, the
        alcoholic, the adulteress , and the gay person all have problems.
        They, like all of us, need "The Hospital for the Sick", the
        > Church. It is my prayer that this book may bring repentance to us
        all and a new perspective for all of us who claim to follow the
        "Gospel of Love."
        >  
        >  
        >  
        >  
        >  
        >  
        >  
        >  
        > http://evergreenboo ksales.com/ bookstore/ product_info. php?cPath=
        27&products_id= 84
        > Or: 
        > http://www.authorho use.com/BookStor e/ItemDetail. aspx?bookid= 12053.
        >
        >
        >
        >
        >
        >
        >
        >
        >
        >
        >
        >
        >
        >
        >
        >
        > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
        >
      • BridgetNight123@hotmail.com
        Thank you Christa. I apprecite the kind compliments and appreciate you so much too. How have you been? I am doing a little better with my health and am
        Message 3 of 10 , Feb 27, 2009
        • 0 Attachment
          Thank you Christa. I apprecite the kind compliments and appreciate you so much too. How have you been? I am doing a little better with my health and am working on a few projects. I will write more later. Love, Bridget

          http://evergreenbooksales.com/bookstore/product_info.php?cPath=27&products_id=84
          Or:
          http://www.authorhouse.com/BookStore/ItemDetail.aspx?bookid=12053.



          ----- Original Message -----
          From: ctickle777
          To: exgaydiscussionboard@yahoogroups.com
          Sent: Friday, February 27, 2009 8:57 AM
          Subject: [ExGDBd] Re: Review of "Prayers for Bobby" movie by Bridget Night, author of "Prayers for Johnathan"


          Hi Bridget,

          I have to agree with Tom! This was an awesome movie review as well as
          a candid and inspirational account of your own personal experiences.
          Although I don't have a son with SSA, I can relate to your
          interpretation as a mother. You have such a heart for those who
          struggle with this and I know you are a tremendous blessing in your
          son's life, and the lives of those, like Soren, who desperately
          benefit from your Christ-like, grace-filled example!

          God bless you and thank you for sharing!

          Christa

          --- In exgaydiscussionboard@yahoogroups.com, Thomas Morey
          <moreytom@...> wrote:
          >
          > Oh, this is wonderful, Bridget! I'm learning much from you.
          >
          > Blessings,
          >
          > Tom
          >
          > --- On Sun, 1/25/09, Bridget Night <BridgetNight123@...> wrote:
          >
          > From: Bridget Night <BridgetNight123@...>
          > Subject: [Ex-Gay_International] Review of "Prayers for Bobby" movie
          by Bridget Night, author of "Prayers for Johnathan"
          > To:
          > Date: Sunday, January 25, 2009, 11:48 AM
          >
          >
          >
          >
          >
          >
          >
          > Last night my husband and I watched "Prayers for Bobby' together. It
          was tough on both of us, but we were glad we saw it. This is one of
          the most difficult reviews to write, as this movie hit me right
          between the eyes. It was powerfully done and did an excellent job in
          portraying the feelings of the gay son and his family. I cried in so
          many parts. My husband could relate to the father in a number of ways.
          There was a great deal I could relate to as well.
          >
          > I cried while watching this beautiful young man, Bobby, wrestle with
          his feelings. Interesting, how this gay son was thought of, as the
          'perfect' and kindest child in the family, which is often the case in
          many families. This actor did a fantastic job at demonstrating the
          enormous pain our SSA youth go through when discovering they have
          these feelings and they don't seem to go away. I imagine this is
          especially true when raised in a strong Christian family. This part
          of the movie brought back so many memories of the times my son was so
          scared that his family and everyone would hate him if they found out.
          At church, the only thing he heard about homosexuality was that it was
          an abomination and his teacher was sure, 'no one in our church had
          that kind of problem.' Like Bobby, my son thought he was going to
          hell because he had these feelings. Bobby did an excellent job at
          trying so hard to be and act straight, as did my son. Both Bobby and
          > Johnathan tried so hard to please God and do whatever it took to
          become straight. They prayed, read scriptures, and went
          to therapists. My son actually liked some of his counselors and even
          enjoyed some of the exodus and evergreen classes he attended. Bobby
          was trying hard to do that too, although his psychologist was a pain
          in the 'you know where' and the Christian leaders, with the other
          youth, were trying to portray how easy it was to overcome your
          problems if you just accepted Christ. The movie did a great job at
          showing the tremendous pressure there can be put on SSA youth. One of
          the most difficult parts of this movie, was to watch the self-loathing
          Bobby had. Like Bobby, my son wrote in a journal. Like Mary Griffith,
          my husband and I later read in Johnathan's journal and we were
          horrified at all the self-hatred that Johnathan spilled out on those
          pages. This movie did an excellent job at showing how painful it is
          to try and fit
          > in socially, and constantly keeping your feelings secret. Getting
          excited if another boy smiled at you and then having those feelings
          dashed when he saw it was for a girl. I will never forget the day my
          son was told by a high school buddy, whom he had fallen in love with,
          that he was no longer a virgin and had had sex with a girl. It
          devastated him and he cried all day. For so long, I did not
          understand what my son was going through privately. This movie
          demonstrated it well.
          >
          > The movie showed the generational difference with grandma expressing
          how all those fags should be hung and shot. I think this movie did
          portray a typical Christian family who really did love each other and
          the Lord but had no clue as to how to handle this kind of situation.
          They were close and loving and wanted everyone to feel they could come
          to each other for help. Even when Bobby's SSA came out and he felt so
          betrayed, his siblings kept trying to show they loved him. In my book,
          I express all the ways our family tried to show love to our son when
          he came out. I had to laugh when the psychologist asked Bobby if he
          had ever had sex with girls and how could he possibly know he was gay
          since he had not. That very thing happened to my son by our minister
          and of course my son threw the question back in our ministers face by
          asking him how he knew he was heterosexual before he got married and
          had sex with his wife. Seeing the whole family in
          > therapy was something I could relate to as well. My husband felt
          like he was a failure as a father, and I was the bad mother. Everyone
          blames each other. Mary Griffith's desire to 'cure' and heal her son
          were understanding. Her frantic worrying and trying so hard was also
          something I could relate too. You feel so desperate as a Christian
          mom to save your son. To you this is a 911 emergency and Sigourney
          Weaver did a great job at portraying that. I could relate to and
          laugh when Mary Griffith says, "You know those gays have sex in
          bathrooms everywhere and I am sure they recruited Bobby." The part
          that this mother did wrong, was in not listening to her son or reading
          the material he wanted her to read. Very typical, was when Bobby told
          his mom, "All you care about is how you look to others." There were
          so many emotions jam packed in this movie that made it so powerful to
          me. Bobby opening up the birthday gift with a sweater and AIDS
          > tracts in it was even understandable. As a mom, who is trying to
          help her son, you get a lot of info (some of which is so wrong) and
          get scared to death that you will have to watch your son die of some
          STD. Ms Weaver did a great job at showing how obsessed and crazy you
          can become because my book shows how I was there too, although I
          believe I did things in a much more understanding and loving way.
          >
          > It is also understandable that this mom would be desperate for
          closure and answers after her sons death. The guilt of the mom and
          whole family was understandable as well. The confusion as to why God
          had not healed her son and his suicide, would be overwhelming. Mary
          Griffith finally reads the book her son had sent her and attends the
          MCC church her son had gone to. Even a lot of the logic of the MCC
          minister and her questioning him was done well. Her speech to the
          city council at the end was powerful, even though I do not agree with
          all of her conclusions. I can even see how PFLAG could help many
          parents and families to deal with this, but it has never felt right
          for me. Just like left-handedness is not the norm, homosexuality is
          not normal. Even Mary Griffith at the end said 'how can you hate
          someone for being born with no arms.' Having same-sex feelings is not
          a sin. Watching the family march in the gay parade with people on the
          floats
          > that flaunt deviant behavior to me was difficult. I do believe God
          created male and female with a plan to be as one and create families.
          This is the norm, but for whatever reason, some do not have these
          normal feelings and how are they to live and deal with this. I know
          change is possible for some and others find more peace in living
          celibate rather than in a gay relationship. Some, with SSA are able
          to function heterosexually, marry, and live a happy life, but it seems
          that for many, there are only two choices. One, live celibate and fill
          your life with other things that can bring you happiness, even though
          you are often frustrated with some human needs not being met or two,
          meet your emotional and physical needs with a same sex partner. In my
          book, the pro-gay Danish young man forces me to ask myself a lot of
          questions that I have never had to deal with before. We discuss all
          these questions back and forth with great love and respect for
          > each other. I just talked to this young man on IM last night and
          we are so looking forward to seeing each other for the first time in
          Denmark this June. I will be meeting the mate he married and will be
          very loving to him. My son has a boyfriend right now and is choosing
          to have a gay relationship. It is not what I would want for him and
          he knows that. But, he also knows that I will not reject him and his
          boyfriend. I will love them in any way I can. They would be welcomed
          at Christmas and family gatherings. God has forced me to understand my
          son in ways I never thought I could. How do you deal with 'forbidden'
          love when you have such powerful needs which God has instilled in all
          of us. The only answer I have gotten was what I wrote in the final
          ending of my book which I would like to post here:
          >
          > BRIDGET'S FINAL COMMENTARY
          >
          > When I first began writing this book my dream was that my son and
          Soren would be cured, and participating in the ex-gay marches. I
          wanted to see them happily married as heterosexuals with children and
          active in my Christian faith. I wanted to show the pain and suffering
          from a Christian parents perspective. I also wanted parents to
          understand where the child, with the same-sex attraction, was coming
          from. For a year and a half I was obsessed with trying to help Soren
          and my son understand that homosexuality was wrong and that they
          should seek reparative therapy. I pointed out all the research and
          information I could come up with. Sometimes, I thought I was making
          real progress when I could get Johnathan and Soren to agree with me on
          certain points, such as the disease factor, the often broken
          relationship with the same-sex parent, and the many multiple partners
          problem. I would get frustrated and even angry when I couldn't get
          them to want reparative
          > therapy.
          >
          > On January 13, 2001, after going through more than a year of
          tremendous suffering myself, I suddenly came to some realizations. I
          don't know why it took me so long to see or understand some important
          truths, but I began to realize what the Savior wanted me to learn. He
          wanted me to look beyond my own pain; beyond the fact that homosexual
          sex was wrong. My son, Johnathan, had just "come out" to his friends
          and admitted that he was gay. That devastated me and I had a panic
          attack. I was scared to death that Johnathan would be called terrible
          names, loose friendships and even be beat up. As I was trying to come
          to terms with this, the story of the blind man, whom Jesus talked
          about to his disciples, came to my mind. In Christ's day, blindness
          was thought to be caused because a person had sinned. So, when Jesus
          passed by a blind man, who had been blind since birth, His disciples
          asked Christ, "Master, who did sin, this man, or his parents, that
          > he was born blind? Jesus answered, Neither hath this man sinned,
          nor his parents: but that the works of God should be made manifest in
          him."(John 9:1-3) You can't imagine the peaceful feeling I had at
          this moment of realization. Yes, it is not good to be blind, retarded,
          or to have a same-sex attraction, but it is not a sin. Similarly, a
          person may be predisposed to alcoholism or a bad temper. But, he is
          not sinning unless he acts upon these inclinations. These people are
          not awful, or deserving of ridicule because they have any of these
          conditions. They need love and compassion so much more.
          >
          > Then I began to think of what happened to many great religious
          leaders when they "came out" with information they had kept inside of
          them for a long time. Martin Luther, a religious reformer, could no
          longer keep it inside that certain religious teachings in his faith
          were abominable teachings. For this he was persecuted by many in his
          church. Joseph Smith, the Mormon prophet, was persecuted, ridiculed
          and murdered when he "came out" with his first vision, that God was
          going to restore the Church of Jesus Christ. But most importantly,
          when Jesus "came out" at the age of 30, after keeping it inside of him
          all this time, that "He was indeed, the Son of God, and the Savior of
          mankind", he was not only scorned, ridiculed, and tortured, but CRUCIFIED.
          >
          > Many people in our churches today are fearful of "Coming Out." Here,
          the term "coming out," means admitting or confessing you have a
          problem and need help. My son, Johnathan, was terrified to "come out"
          and tell us that he was struggling with a same sex attraction problem
          because he thought we would kick him out of the house and that the
          church would condemn him to hell for having these feelings. Believing
          this, left him with only one option: Reject God and the church! I
          realize that some people who read this might be offended that I use
          the term "coming out" in the paragraph above when describing religious
          leaders, especially Jesus Christ. But, I used the term to make the
          point that no one should be shunned or persecuted for expressing what
          they sincerely believe in. The blind, the retarded, the smoker, the
          alcoholic, the adulteress , and the gay person all have problems.
          They, like all of us, need "The Hospital for the Sick", the
          > Church. It is my prayer that this book may bring repentance to us
          all and a new perspective for all of us who claim to follow the
          "Gospel of Love."
          >
          >
          >
          >
          >
          >
          >
          >
          > http://evergreenboo ksales.com/ bookstore/ product_info. php?cPath=
          27&products_id= 84
          > Or:
          > http://www.authorho use.com/BookStor e/ItemDetail. aspx?bookid= 12053.
          >
          >
          >
          >
          >
          >
          >
          >
          >
          >
          >
          >
          >
          >
          >
          >
          > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
          >




          [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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