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Re: My Intro & an Awesome message about Brokeness & Surrender

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  • Dan
    The link I provided doesn t seem to work correctly. Just go to intouch.org and from the drop down menue, select Broadcasts and then Audio Archives and find
    Message 1 of 7 , Jun 30, 2008
      The link I provided doesn't seem to work correctly.

      Just go to intouch.org and from the drop down menue, select
      "Broadcasts" and then "Audio Archives" and find the correctly dated
      message there.
      Thanks~
      Dan
    • Thomas Morey
      Thanks Dan, for your testimony of what God is doing in your life. My name is Tom Morey, one of the moderators here at ExGDBd. Its a real encouragement to me
      Message 2 of 7 , Jul 1, 2008
        Thanks Dan, for your testimony of what God is doing in your life. My name is Tom Morey, one of the moderators here at ExGDBd. Its a real encouragement to me to hear the things that He has been telling you. I can totally relate with the SSA's, being single at age 52, and the compulsive masturbation tendencies. Clearly, if you continue on this same path and frame of mind that you described on a daily basis, I believe too that you will not falter nor shrink back to giving room again for an idolatrous life of compulsive masturbation, but rather live consistently in His peace over it all. 
         
        However, two things come to mind about this important issue. I believe that I can't make such absolute statements about living in freedom for the future anymore, since I have made them in the past and have become disillusioned when I resorted back to the same form of idolatry. So, what I do now is only make those affirmation statements about today, and allow the Lord to take care of my tomorrow, in the meantime. Do you agree with this? The other thing is that I'm wondering, outside of submitting to the Lord your otherwise compulsive desires in your prayer time with Him, and thinking His thoughts about you after Him, making appropriate and positive self-affirmations, and following through accordingly, how do you address the tangible loneliness factor? This issue for me has been a major trigger towards relapsing, and I find that even the aforementioned is not enough to preclude eventually another relapse. Anticipating daily involvement in the service
        of the Lord of others, especially in the context of my local church, has helped greatly in this way. Do you have any suggestions?            
         
        I will be looking forward to hearing the intouch program you suggested later on today, and any further posts that you make here at the public forum. Have you been reading any books or have been viewing any websites on the subject matter of masturbation and sexual temptation? If so, any recommendations?  I've read "Every Man's Battle" and "Every Young Man's Battle" by Steve Arterburn, which were both very informative and helpful.
         
        Blessings,
         
        Tom
         
         --- On Mon, 6/30/08, Dan <orionsector@...> wrote:

        From: Dan <orionsector@...>
        Subject: [ExGDBd] Re: My Intro & an Awesome message about Brokeness & Surrender
        To: exgaydiscussionboard@yahoogroups.com
        Date: Monday, June 30, 2008, 9:55 PM






        The link I provided doesn't seem to work correctly.

        Just go to intouch.org and from the drop down menue, select
        "Broadcasts" and then "Audio Archives" and find the correctly dated
        message there.
        Thanks~
        Dan


















        [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
      • Dan
        well, I do agree about the absolute statements. My attitude was always that masterbation should be avoided if I was gonna fantasize and sin. This has almost
        Message 3 of 7 , Jul 2, 2008
          well, I do agree about the absolute statements. My attitude was
          always that masterbation should be avoided if I was gonna fantasize
          and sin. This has almost always been my pattern and it's the real
          problem, not the masterbation itself. Thats not to give myself an
          out, but lets face it, sometimes you just have to do it. I am human
          and cannot just make believe my sexuality doesn't exist just because
          I often feel it to be a curse. It's part of who I am and it isn't bad
          in itself. When I make rigid rules for myself, I just ensure that I
          will feel so hopeless that I will set myself up to fail. I have to
          give myself more grace.

          One thing I am doing now is that I am letting God have ownership over
          my sexuality. One of my major fears that have always dominated my
          life was what to do about that area of my life, since Gods rules
          about sex seem to totally exclude a person like me and offer a bleak
          future to say the least. Now (especially when tempted) I'm giving it
          all to God rather than to think I need to work it out myself. He can
          be responsible for If I ever have a sexual life, WHEN that will
          happen and HOW (on earth could it ever happen). I don't have much
          control over such things anyway.

          As far as lonliness, I guess I'm so used to being alone that I am
          usually not aware of that feeling. It's kind of always been there. I
          don't think it's a major factor for me acting out. The deep down
          loneliness and feelings of emptyness and especially hopelessness over
          this sexual brokeness are my major triggers. Boredom is also, which
          stimulates my desire to masterbate and fantasize. Now I try to clean
          my apt or something instead - it usually needs it anyway.

          I do own "Every Young Mans Battle". I didn't like the chapter on
          masterbation because I was not even willing to consider giving it up,
          since it was all I had. I look at it differently now, but I'm not
          sure I would not sometimes do it if it was not assocaited with the
          fantasies anymore, which are the real problem.

          As far as books on the subject of masterbation, no I haven't really
          read books on it. I don't think I am compulsive about it, although
          when I have acted out to the point of meeting people for sexual
          purposes, it has always been after masterbating on an almost daily
          basis for a short time. I don't feel I am addicted to it, but I've
          relied on it too frequently and it has been a fertile breeding ground
          for all kinds of perverted fantasies and behaviours. I can totally
          see how I've programmed my brain through positive reinforcement
          (orgasm) to respond chemically to my masterbation related thoughs
          even when I am not masterbating. Like the Pavlovs' dogs story.




          --- In exgaydiscussionboard@yahoogroups.com, Thomas Morey
          <moreytom@...> wrote:
          >
          > Thanks Dan, for your testimony of what God is doing in your life.
          My name is Tom Morey, one of the moderators here at ExGDBd. Its a
          real encouragement to me to hear the things that He has been telling
          you. I can totally relate with the SSA's, being single at age 52, and
          the compulsive masturbation tendencies. Clearly, if you continue on
          this same path and frame of mind that you described on a daily basis,
          I believe too that you will not falter nor shrink back to giving room
          again for an idolatrous life of compulsive masturbation, but rather
          live consistently in His peace over it all. 
          >  
          > However, two things come to mind about this important issue. I
          believe that I can't make such absolute statements about living in
          freedom for the future anymore, since I have made them in the past
          and have become disillusioned when I resorted back to the same form
          of idolatry. So, what I do now is only make those affirmation
          statements about today, and allow the Lord to take care of my
          tomorrow, in the meantime. Do you agree with this? The other thing is
          that I'm wondering, outside of submitting to the Lord your otherwise
          compulsive desires in your prayer time with Him, and thinking His
          thoughts about you after Him, making appropriate and positive self-
          affirmations, and following through accordingly, how do you address
          the tangible loneliness factor? This issue for me has been a
          major trigger towards relapsing, and I find that even the
          aforementioned is not enough to preclude eventually another relapse.
          Anticipating daily involvement in the service
          > of the Lord of others, especially in the context of my local
          church, has helped greatly in this way. Do you have any
          suggestions?            
          >  
          > I will be looking forward to hearing the intouch program you
          suggested later on today, and any further posts that you make here at
          the public forum. Have you been reading any books or have been
          viewing any websites on the subject matter of masturbation and sexual
          temptation? If so, any recommendations?  I've read "Every Man's
          Battle" and "Every Young Man's Battle" by Steve Arterburn, which were
          both very informative and helpful.
          >  
          > Blessings,
          >  
          > Tom
          >  
          >  --- On Mon, 6/30/08, Dan <orionsector@...> wrote:
          >
          > From: Dan <orionsector@...>
          > Subject: [ExGDBd] Re: My Intro & an Awesome message about Brokeness
          & Surrender
          > To: exgaydiscussionboard@yahoogroups.com
          > Date: Monday, June 30, 2008, 9:55 PM
          >
          >
          >
          >
          >
          >
          > The link I provided doesn't seem to work correctly.
          >
          > Just go to intouch.org and from the drop down menue, select
          > "Broadcasts" and then "Audio Archives" and find the correctly dated
          > message there.
          > Thanks~
          > Dan
          >
          >
          >
          >
          >
          >
          >
          >
          >
          >
          >
          >
          >
          >
          >
          >
          >
          >
          > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
          >
        • ctickle777
          Hey Dan, Glad to have you here - just remember you aren t alone. Lots of folks are experiencing similar struggles. Thank you for sharing and I agree - Charles
          Message 4 of 7 , Jul 6, 2008
            Hey Dan,

            Glad to have you here - just remember you aren't alone. Lots of folks
            are experiencing similar struggles. Thank you for sharing and I agree
            - Charles Stanley is awesome!

            Blessings and prayers,
            Christa


            --- In exgaydiscussionboard@yahoogroups.com, "Dan" <orionsector@...>
            wrote:
            >
            > This is my 1st post here. I've just lurked for awhile but wanted to
            > introduce myself, get some stuff off my chest & pass along a link to
            > a message that I heard the other day that (for me) is life changing I
            > think.
            >
            > After hearing this message,I was sad, humbled and depressed and maybe
            > a little excited at the same time. The message REALLY spoke right to
            > me, made me think and act.
            >
            > I made a decision the other day that I didn't think I would ever
            > make - I gave God total control over my sexuality - meaning I will
            > not persue sexual gratification in any way from now on, especially
            > masterbation, which is usually the rout to my other problems. I feel
            > that this is something I'm gonna stay with. I even threw out any of
            > the stuff I used for masterbation - everything. The masterbation was
            > always the thig I said I had a "right" to, since I am single and
            > refuse to (actually I'm afraid to) believe that God would ever change
            > me or my circumstances. Since I am single and have no other outlets,
            > I reasoned that I had a "right" to it. Besides, masterbation is kind
            > of all I have and feel I ever will have, unless I act out with
            > another person. Certainly (I reasoned) I could never be married
            > because I'm not attracted to women & the idea of marriage is
            > laughable. I'm not saying masterbation is a horrible sin, but for me
            > it has been a huge negative influence and I can totally see how it's
            > been a conduit for keeping me stuck for years.
            >
            > The reason I was sad and depressed after hearing this message is that
            > my worst fear has always been that I will always be alone and
            > celebate if I obey God. Honestly, I would rather die than live
            > without a sex life for the rest of my life, even though as a
            > Christain,for me sex has always been a curse rather than a gift &
            > blessing. No, I'm not suicidal, but seriously considered it when I
            > was 20yrs old. Now I'm 44 and still struggling with some of the same
            > fears. These fears and my negative self talk have eventually usually
            > undermined long term obedience in my life. I guess I can only
            > conclude that I really don't trust God and have a real hard time
            > giving up control, especially in this area because it is THE most
            > important thing to me. I am working on the self talk and it works
            > very well when I practice it. I definately understand that my
            > attitude and self talk are my most vulnerable area (as Satan knows
            > too). I'm working on that - mentally talking back to my fears and
            > beliefs like I was encouraging another person. I do this while
            > working out, so I'm killing 2 birds with one stone as they say.
            >
            > I love listening to Charles Stanley and the other day I heard what
            > (for me) is a life changing message I think. I usually get his
            > messages via Itunes (for free). The date and title are:
            >
            > "After Brokeness, What Then? - A" and the date is June 26, 2008.
            >
            > The direct link is here:http://www.intouch.org/site/c.dhKHIXPKIuE/
            > b.2295509/k.9338/Audio_Archives.htm
            >
            > I'd like to know what people think of it and if it helps them too.
            > Thanks~
            > Dan
            >
          • Titus
            Hi my name is Titus and this is my first time posting a blog.I thought I d start by telling a little about the love that God has shared with me.It started in
            Message 5 of 7 , Jul 7, 2008
              Hi my name is Titus and this is my first time posting a blog.I
              thought I'd start by telling a little about the love that God has
              shared with me.It started in 1998 when I moved to the beach to
              spread the ashes of my dead lover.I do not want to bore you with
              detales,I like to talk.Anywho,I met , or made a new friend and for
              about two years she asked me to go to her church to hear the worship
              band.One day I said ok.Well she was rite, I loved the music. After
              worship was finished the big screen TV's came on at each end of the
              church.They had a video tape of a women telling her testimony.She
              caught my ear as she spoke of her life before giving it to Christ.
              She spoke of the drugs , the same sex relationships, the party life
              from one bed to another. The drinking , the bars and into Wicca.
              I stood there hearing all of this and the next selfish thought
              changed my life. I thought (what a sl-t).At that moement the power
              of the Lord about knocked me over saying, Who are you to judge my
              child? I knew that I was in the presence of God.Then the most
              softest voice said to my heart,Take that off in my house, it was the
              Wiccan penagram on the chain around my neck.As i ripped it from my
              neck I fell sobbing and asking for forrgivness for my life.You see,
              everthing that the women had spoke of about her past was my present
              life,and I had stood in judgement not only of her but of myself
              also.I seen my face on that TV screen when saying (sl-t).I gave my
              life to God that day and life has ben bitter sweet ever since.I've
              ben married for almost 5 years now, we met at bible study, talk
              about a blessing.Anywho,,I could go on and on, I like to share the
              love that is Christ.Glad I found ya'll.
              exgaydiscussionboard@yahoogroups.com, "Dan" <orionsector@...> wrote:
              >
              > This is my 1st post here. I've just lurked for awhile but wanted
              to
              > introduce myself, get some stuff off my chest & pass along a link
              to
              > a message that I heard the other day that (for me) is life
              changing I
              > think.
              >
              > After hearing this message,I was sad, humbled and depressed and
              maybe
              > a little excited at the same time. The message REALLY spoke right
              to
              > me, made me think and act.
              >
              > I made a decision the other day that I didn't think I would ever
              > make - I gave God total control over my sexuality - meaning I will
              > not persue sexual gratification in any way from now on, especially
              > masterbation, which is usually the rout to my other problems. I
              feel
              > that this is something I'm gonna stay with. I even threw out any
              of
              > the stuff I used for masterbation - everything. The masterbation
              was
              > always the thig I said I had a "right" to, since I am single and
              > refuse to (actually I'm afraid to) believe that God would ever
              change
              > me or my circumstances. Since I am single and have no other
              outlets,
              > I reasoned that I had a "right" to it. Besides, masterbation is
              kind
              > of all I have and feel I ever will have, unless I act out with
              > another person. Certainly (I reasoned) I could never be married
              > because I'm not attracted to women & the idea of marriage is
              > laughable. I'm not saying masterbation is a horrible sin, but for
              me
              > it has been a huge negative influence and I can totally see how
              it's
              > been a conduit for keeping me stuck for years.
              >
              > The reason I was sad and depressed after hearing this message is
              that
              > my worst fear has always been that I will always be alone and
              > celebate if I obey God. Honestly, I would rather die than live
              > without a sex life for the rest of my life, even though as a
              > Christain,for me sex has always been a curse rather than a gift &
              > blessing. No, I'm not suicidal, but seriously considered it when I
              > was 20yrs old. Now I'm 44 and still struggling with some of the
              same
              > fears. These fears and my negative self talk have eventually
              usually
              > undermined long term obedience in my life. I guess I can only
              > conclude that I really don't trust God and have a real hard time
              > giving up control, especially in this area because it is THE most
              > important thing to me. I am working on the self talk and it works
              > very well when I practice it. I definately understand that my
              > attitude and self talk are my most vulnerable area (as Satan knows
              > too). I'm working on that - mentally talking back to my fears and
              > beliefs like I was encouraging another person. I do this while
              > working out, so I'm killing 2 birds with one stone as they say.
              >
              > I love listening to Charles Stanley and the other day I heard what
              > (for me) is a life changing message I think. I usually get his
              > messages via Itunes (for free). The date and title are:
              >
              > "After Brokeness, What Then? - A" and the date is June 26, 2008.
              >
              > The direct link is here:http://www.intouch.org/site/c.dhKHIXPKIuE/
              > b.2295509/k.9338/Audio_Archives.htm
              >
              > I'd like to know what people think of it and if it helps them too.
              > Thanks~
              > Dan
              >
            • Titus
              Thanks Dan,I feel it can be a way to release stress as long as it does not become a sexual addiction.I was glad to hear that you know what triggers you.Thats a
              Message 6 of 7 , Jul 7, 2008
                Thanks Dan,I feel it can be a way to release stress as long as it
                does not become a sexual addiction.I was glad to hear that you know
                what triggers you.Thats a plus.Anyway, thanks .--- In
                exgaydiscussionboard@yahoogroups.com, "Dan" <orionsector@...> wrote:
                >
                > well, I do agree about the absolute statements. My attitude was
                > always that masterbation should be avoided if I was gonna
                fantasize
                > and sin. This has almost always been my pattern and it's the real
                > problem, not the masterbation itself. Thats not to give myself an
                > out, but lets face it, sometimes you just have to do it. I am
                human
                > and cannot just make believe my sexuality doesn't exist just
                because
                > I often feel it to be a curse. It's part of who I am and it isn't
                bad
                > in itself. When I make rigid rules for myself, I just ensure that
                I
                > will feel so hopeless that I will set myself up to fail. I have to
                > give myself more grace.
                >
                > One thing I am doing now is that I am letting God have ownership
                over
                > my sexuality. One of my major fears that have always dominated my
                > life was what to do about that area of my life, since Gods rules
                > about sex seem to totally exclude a person like me and offer a
                bleak
                > future to say the least. Now (especially when tempted) I'm giving
                it
                > all to God rather than to think I need to work it out myself. He
                can
                > be responsible for If I ever have a sexual life, WHEN that will
                > happen and HOW (on earth could it ever happen). I don't have much
                > control over such things anyway.
                >
                > As far as lonliness, I guess I'm so used to being alone that I am
                > usually not aware of that feeling. It's kind of always been there.
                I
                > don't think it's a major factor for me acting out. The deep down
                > loneliness and feelings of emptyness and especially hopelessness
                over
                > this sexual brokeness are my major triggers. Boredom is also,
                which
                > stimulates my desire to masterbate and fantasize. Now I try to
                clean
                > my apt or something instead - it usually needs it anyway.
                >
                > I do own "Every Young Mans Battle". I didn't like the chapter on
                > masterbation because I was not even willing to consider giving it
                up,
                > since it was all I had. I look at it differently now, but I'm not
                > sure I would not sometimes do it if it was not assocaited with the
                > fantasies anymore, which are the real problem.
                >
                > As far as books on the subject of masterbation, no I haven't
                really
                > read books on it. I don't think I am compulsive about it, although
                > when I have acted out to the point of meeting people for sexual
                > purposes, it has always been after masterbating on an almost daily
                > basis for a short time. I don't feel I am addicted to it, but I've
                > relied on it too frequently and it has been a fertile breeding
                ground
                > for all kinds of perverted fantasies and behaviours. I can totally
                > see how I've programmed my brain through positive reinforcement
                > (orgasm) to respond chemically to my masterbation related thoughs
                > even when I am not masterbating. Like the Pavlovs' dogs story.
                >
                >
                >
                >
                > --- In exgaydiscussionboard@yahoogroups.com, Thomas Morey
                > <moreytom@> wrote:
                > >
                > > Thanks Dan, for your testimony of what God is doing in your
                life.
                > My name is Tom Morey, one of the moderators here at ExGDBd. Its a
                > real encouragement to me to hear the things that He has been
                telling
                > you. I can totally relate with the SSA's, being single at age 52,
                and
                > the compulsive masturbation tendencies. Clearly, if you continue
                on
                > this same path and frame of mind that you described on a daily
                basis,
                > I believe too that you will not falter nor shrink back to giving
                room
                > again for an idolatrous life of compulsive masturbation, but
                rather
                > live consistently in His peace over it all. 
                > >  
                > > However, two things come to mind about this important issue. I
                > believe that I can't make such absolute statements about living in
                > freedom for the future anymore, since I have made them in the past
                > and have become disillusioned when I resorted back to the same
                form
                > of idolatry. So, what I do now is only make those affirmation
                > statements about today, and allow the Lord to take care of my
                > tomorrow, in the meantime. Do you agree with this? The other thing
                is
                > that I'm wondering, outside of submitting to the Lord your
                otherwise
                > compulsive desires in your prayer time with Him, and thinking His
                > thoughts about you after Him, making appropriate and positive self-
                > affirmations, and following through accordingly, how do you
                address
                > the tangible loneliness factor? This issue for me has been a
                > major trigger towards relapsing, and I find that even the
                > aforementioned is not enough to preclude eventually another
                relapse.
                > Anticipating daily involvement in the service
                > > of the Lord of others, especially in the context of my local
                > church, has helped greatly in this way. Do you have any
                > suggestions?            
                > >  
                > > I will be looking forward to hearing the intouch program you
                > suggested later on today, and any further posts that you make here
                at
                > the public forum. Have you been reading any books or have been
                > viewing any websites on the subject matter of masturbation and
                sexual
                > temptation? If so, any recommendations?  I've read "Every Man's
                > Battle" and "Every Young Man's Battle" by Steve Arterburn, which
                were
                > both very informative and helpful.
                > >  
                > > Blessings,
                > >  
                > > Tom
                > >  
                > >  --- On Mon, 6/30/08, Dan <orionsector@> wrote:
                > >
                > > From: Dan <orionsector@>
                > > Subject: [ExGDBd] Re: My Intro & an Awesome message about
                Brokeness
                > & Surrender
                > > To: exgaydiscussionboard@yahoogroups.com
                > > Date: Monday, June 30, 2008, 9:55 PM
                > >
                > >
                > >
                > >
                > >
                > >
                > > The link I provided doesn't seem to work correctly.
                > >
                > > Just go to intouch.org and from the drop down menue, select
                > > "Broadcasts" and then "Audio Archives" and find the correctly
                dated
                > > message there.
                > > Thanks~
                > > Dan
                > >
                > >
                > >
                > >
                > >
                > >
                > >
                > >
                > >
                > >
                > >
                > >
                > >
                > >
                > >
                > >
                > >
                > >
                > > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
                > >
                >
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