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Re: [ExGDBd] Re: New Group

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  • nfttm
    this has been a major problem with those that are seeking resources when they are questioning their homosexuality. They believe that if an organization of any
    Message 1 of 13 , Sep 10, 2007
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      this has been a major problem with those that are
      seeking resources when they are questioning their
      homosexuality. They believe that if an organization
      of any kind has the "Christian" title to it, and they
      are not Christian then they will be excluded. This
      also goes for people brought up in the faith but have
      turned away from it. It may serve many well who have
      SSA but not actively involved and who identify
      themselves as Christians but for the majority of
      others, it is very intimidating and daunting and they
      choose avoidance instead. Whether it is deliberate or
      not, there is a certain arrogance and air of
      exclusivity that they feel hopeless of every fitting
      into or understanding. If there were no names attached
      and it welcomed people of all or any faiths, just
      think how powerful that would be and what a message it
      would send. Believe me, anyone there who is a sincere
      Christian will not have to say it, it will be known by
      how they interact and communicate with others. By the
      way, someone of the Jewish or Muslim or Hindu or
      Buddist or other faiths are just as important to God
      as the Christian. God made us - we chose our religion.

      --- cgdone1 <cgdone1@...> wrote:

      > I mean no disrespect when I ask why "Christian"
      > should be excluded
      > from the description if, in fact, it is a Christian
      > forum. Why not
      > call it what it is? There's no reason why a
      > statement of inclusion
      > can't be made for all others that don't consider
      > themselves Christian
      > but struggle in that area. And by inclusion I
      > simply mean that all
      > are welcome who seek support and encouragement
      > regardless of their
      > faith. But if the forum is based on Biblical
      > principles then let it
      > stand and not be compromised for the sake of those
      > who don't
      > believe.
      > If people understand up front then they can make an
      > informed decision
      > on whether or not they want to accept or decline.
      >
      >
      >
      >
      >
      >
      >
      >
      >
      >
      >
      > -- In exgaydiscussionboard@yahoogroups.com, nfttm
      > <nfttm@...> wrote:
      > >
      > > these are some really good suggestions - I would
      > like
      > > to ask just one part of it be considered
      > differently
      > > and that is if you put "Christian" in there it
      > will
      > > automatically exclude many people who would
      > otherwise
      > > want to join and participate. The feeling of
      > exclusion
      > > is very hopeless when it comes to someone reaching
      > out
      > > for help.
      > >
      > >
      > > --- David <peacanludwigcarbolic@...> wrote:
      > >
      > > > Ken,
      > > > You've raised some good points here that I
      > will
      > > > definitely
      > > > consider. Thanks!
      > > >
      > > > David H.
      > > >
      > > > --- In exgaydiscussionboard@yahoogroups.com,
      > > > "newhope1966"
      > > > <newhope1966@> wrote:
      > > > >
      > > > > David,
      > > > >
      > > > > You could make some changes/additions in the
      > > > description of the
      > > > group
      > > > > by stating that it is a Christian group....not
      > for
      > > > swingers or
      > > > anyone
      > > > > searching for sex. And explain why you use
      > the
      > > > term "bisexual" to
      > > > > avoid giving the wrong impression. Guidelines
      > > > would be good to
      > > > set
      > > > > up to draw healthy boundaries for everyone!
      > That
      > > > way, it would
      > > > not
      > > > > be suggestive for anyone to bring up about
      > wanting
      > > > to have it both
      > > > > ways but to acknowledge that homosexuality is
      > > > wrong & not the
      > > > correct
      > > > > avenue to take but to share feedback about how
      > to
      > > > be better
      > > > > boyfriends/girlfriends before considering
      > > > marriage!
      > > > >
      > > > > I wish you the best of luck w/ this group!
      > > > >
      > > > > Ken
      > > > >
      > > > >
      > > > > --- In exgaydiscussionboard@yahoogroups.com,
      > > > "David"
      > > > > <peacanludwigcarbolic@> wrote:
      > > > > >
      > > > > > I used the term bisexual to denote someone
      > being
      > > > pulled in
      > > > opposing
      > > > > > directions. You're right, the term could
      > have a
      > > > negative
      > > > > > conotation. If anyone has a better name
      > that
      > > > conveys the
      > > > concept
      > > > > of
      > > > > > sexual conflict, I'm open to all
      > suggestions.
      > > > Thanks for your
      > > > > > support and input.
      > > > > >
      > > > > > David H.
      > > > > >
      > > > > > --- In exgaydiscussionboard@yahoogroups.com,
      > > > "newhope1966"
      > > > > > <newhope1966@> wrote:
      > > > > > >
      > > > > > > Interesting! What made you come up with
      > the
      > > > term "bisexual"
      > > > for
      > > > > > your
      > > > > > > new group? Is it the only best word
      > possible
      > > > to use because
      > > > the
      > > > > > > term "ex-gay" or "SSA" would not be
      > > > appropriate to use? Some
      > > > > > people
      > > > > > > may be turned off by the word "bisexual"
      > since
      > > > it is a secular
      > > > > > word!
      > > > > > >
      > > > > > > If I am fortunate to have a steady
      > girlfriend
      > > > one day, your
      > > > group
      > > > > > may
      > > > > > > come in handy!
      > > > > > >
      > > > > > > Ken
      > > > > > >
      > > > > > > --- In
      > exgaydiscussionboard@yahoogroups.com,
      > > > "David"
      > > > > > > <peacanludwigcarbolic@> wrote:
      > > > > > > >
      > > > > > > > I have created a new group called
      > "Bisexual
      > > > Boyfriend".
      > > > Don't
      > > > > > worry,
      > > > > > > > it's not what you think. This group is
      > for
      > > > gay, bisexual,
      > > > or
      > > > > > exgay
      > > > > > > > men trying to acclimate themselves to a
      > > > straight
      > > > relationship
      > > > > > with a
      > > > > > > > woman they love.
      > > > > > > > I created this group based on my own
      > > > struggles making my
      > > > > > > > heterosexual relationships work. If
      > this is
      > > > somthing that
      > > > > > interests
      > > > > > > > you, please join.
      > > > > > > >
      > > > > > > > Thanks,
      > > > > > > > David H.
      > > > > > > >
      > > > > > >
      > > > > >
      > > > >
      > > >
      > > >
      > > >
      > >
      > >
      > >
      > >
      > >
      >
      ______________________________________________________________________
      > ______________
      > > Yahoo! oneSearch: Finally, mobile search
      > > that gives answers, not web links.
      > >
      >
      http://mobile.yahoo.com/mobileweb/onesearch?refer=1ONXIC
      > >
      >
      >
      >




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    • Thomas Morey
      True, you have my sentiments, nfttm. May I say that just as us Christians are to recognize ourselves as citizens of the celestial city of God, and conduct
      Message 2 of 13 , Sep 10, 2007
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        True, you have my sentiments, nfttm.

        May I say that just as us Christians are to recognize
        ourselves as citizens of the celestial city of God,
        and conduct ourselves as such, we are not there yet.
        We still are in this world and must recognize our
        affinity with others in every way, and make no
        distinction in this manner, else we will be no earthly
        good. Didn't Jesus pray that the Father would not take
        us out of the world, just not be of it while we are in
        it (John 17:15-18)? In other words, we need to be just
        as busy obeying His cultural mandate: working,
        resting, wedding, multiplying in Genesis 1 and 2,
        being a law abiding citizen in Romans 13, and actively
        pursuing service towards others in all realms of life
        (Galatians 6:9-10a), and making social connections
        with all types of folks, as Jesus did (i.e., the
        Wedding at Cana, having dinner at Zaccheus' home), as
        fulfilling His Great Commission in Matthew 28:19-20.

        It is why I believe pastors must show their
        recognition of this affinity in their work place by
        accepting an offer, or possibly even offering, to wed
        those who are of a different religion, or are from
        none, even if they make it explicit that they do not
        want anything to do with hearing the gospel of Jesus
        Christ. Yes, these folks are just as important to God,
        if not more, because He jealously desires for them to
        know Him too, since they are just as much made in His
        image as anyone else! And, showing faithful and
        compassionate service in this light, even if preaching
        from Genesis is not allowed, is a way to plant a seed
        for the future!

        But I also agree that if just a small part of what we
        do in service towards others does involve proclaiming
        the good news of Jesus Christ for that service to be
        rendered, such as how many of us feel we need to do
        here, then we must be considerate and let those whom
        we make contact know ahead of time just what we are
        offering! However, I know also that there are many
        here that don't intend to become faith-based in their
        communication with others, at least for some of the
        lines, such as discussion regarding research, NARTH
        articles, etc., and that certainly is acceptable and
        recommended for anyone here as well! And, if anyone
        seems that they don't desire to know anything
        associated with Christ and His Word, but want to know
        about recovery from one's unmanageability of their
        SSA's, then that's what we must offer help in this
        manner (if one feels unknowledgable and/or
        uncomfortable doing so, then at least give a referral
        to someone else here, if not at another discussion
        group or website). Again, pastors successfully counsel
        and marry couples who don't follow Christ, and
        Christian therapists help clients who aren't work
        through their problems. So why can't we?

        It's just that the owner and the moderators here do
        feel the need to mention this discussion group as
        coordinated and maintained by Christians, since that's
        Who we talk about much of the time, and we believe
        that recovery from overpowering SSAs would be much
        more efficaciously experienced via His transformation
        power, by all, no matter what religious background.
        And, just as anyone would want to offer anyone else,
        no matter what their religious background, their best
        tools and provisions to be of help, we all offer that
        here. It's just that some, if not most, see it as
        offering help via their Christian faith in some way.
        But, again, if someone inquires and we already have
        the impression that the inquirer may not be inclined
        towards a Christian faith-based approach, let alone
        any at all, then it behooves any of the Christians
        here to ask them just what they are looking for
        concerning the help that they perceive they need, and
        whether they are open to hearing about a Christian
        faith-based approach or not, stating that research
        indicates a faith-based approach appears to provide
        more success and benefit. If they state that they
        don't feel at all comfortable with their
        "Christianese", then again it behooves a Christian to
        either know how to be of help using a secular approach
        or to refer to someone who does.

        I'm sure somewhere along this trail I repeated myself.
        Didn't I? Well, that's more than enough from this
        peanut gallery. OK, please feel free to respond anyone
        with yours! :-)

        Blessings,

        Tom

        --- nfttm <nfttm@...> wrote:

        > this has been a major problem with those that are
        > seeking resources when they are questioning their
        > homosexuality. They believe that if an organization
        > of any kind has the "Christian" title to it, and
        > they
        > are not Christian then they will be excluded. This
        > also goes for people brought up in the faith but
        > have
        > turned away from it. It may serve many well who have
        > SSA but not actively involved and who identify
        > themselves as Christians but for the majority of
        > others, it is very intimidating and daunting and
        > they
        > choose avoidance instead. Whether it is deliberate
        > or
        > not, there is a certain arrogance and air of
        > exclusivity that they feel hopeless of every fitting
        > into or understanding. If there were no names
        > attached
        > and it welcomed people of all or any faiths, just
        > think how powerful that would be and what a message
        > it
        > would send. Believe me, anyone there who is a
        > sincere
        > Christian will not have to say it, it will be known
        > by
        > how they interact and communicate with others. By
        > the
        > way, someone of the Jewish or Muslim or Hindu or
        > Buddist or other faiths are just as important to God
        > as the Christian. God made us - we chose our
        > religion.
        >
        > --- cgdone1 <cgdone1@...> wrote:
        >
        > > I mean no disrespect when I ask why "Christian"
        > > should be excluded
        > > from the description if, in fact, it is a
        > Christian
        > > forum. Why not
        > > call it what it is? There's no reason why a
        > > statement of inclusion
        > > can't be made for all others that don't consider
        > > themselves Christian
        > > but struggle in that area. And by inclusion I
        > > simply mean that all
        > > are welcome who seek support and encouragement
        > > regardless of their
        > > faith. But if the forum is based on Biblical
        > > principles then let it
        > > stand and not be compromised for the sake of those
        > > who don't
        > > believe.
        > > If people understand up front then they can make
        > an
        > > informed decision
        > > on whether or not they want to accept or decline.
        > >
        > >
        > >
        > >
        > >
        > >
        > >
        > >
        > >
        > >
        > >
        > > -- In exgaydiscussionboard@yahoogroups.com, nfttm
        > > <nfttm@...> wrote:
        > > >
        > > > these are some really good suggestions - I would
        > > like
        > > > to ask just one part of it be considered
        > > differently
        > > > and that is if you put "Christian" in there it
        > > will
        > > > automatically exclude many people who would
        > > otherwise
        > > > want to join and participate. The feeling of
        > > exclusion
        > > > is very hopeless when it comes to someone
        > reaching
        > > out
        > > > for help.
        > > >
        > > >
        > > > --- David <peacanludwigcarbolic@...> wrote:
        > > >
        > > > > Ken,
        > > > > You've raised some good points here that I
        > > will
        > > > > definitely
        > > > > consider. Thanks!
        > > > >
        > > > > David H.
        > > > >
        > > > > --- In exgaydiscussionboard@yahoogroups.com,
        > > > > "newhope1966"
        > > > > <newhope1966@> wrote:
        > > > > >
        > > > > > David,
        > > > > >
        > > > > > You could make some changes/additions in the
        > > > > description of the
        > > > > group
        > > > > > by stating that it is a Christian
        > group....not
        > > for
        > > > > swingers or
        > > > > anyone
        > > > > > searching for sex. And explain why you use
        > > the
        > > > > term "bisexual" to
        > > > > > avoid giving the wrong impression.
        > Guidelines
        > > > > would be good to
        > > > > set
        > > > > > up to draw healthy boundaries for everyone!
        > > That
        > > > > way, it would
        > > > > not
        > > > > > be suggestive for anyone to bring up about
        > > wanting
        > > > > to have it both
        > > > > > ways but to acknowledge that homosexuality
        > is
        > > > > wrong & not the
        > > > > correct
        > > > > > avenue to take but to share feedback about
        > how
        > > to
        > > > > be better
        > > > > > boyfriends/girlfriends before considering
        > > > > marriage!
        > > > > >
        > > > > > I wish you the best of luck w/ this group!
        > > > > >
        > > > > > Ken
        > > > > >
        > > > > >
        > > > > > --- In exgaydiscussionboard@yahoogroups.com,
        > > > > "David"
        > > > > > <peacanludwigcarbolic@> wrote:
        > > > > > >
        > > > > > > I used the term bisexual to denote someone
        > > being
        > > > > pulled in
        > > > > opposing
        > > > > > > directions. You're right, the term could
        > > have a
        > > > > negative
        > > > > > > conotation. If anyone has a better name
        > > that
        > > > > conveys the
        > > > > concept
        > > > > > of
        > > > > > > sexual conflict, I'm open to all
        > > suggestions.
        > > > > Thanks for your
        > > > > > > support and input.
        > > > > > >
        > > > > > > David H.
        > > > > > >
        > > > > > > --- In
        > exgaydiscussionboard@yahoogroups.com,
        > > > > "newhope1966"
        > > > > > > <newhope1966@> wrote:
        > > > > > > >
        > > > > > > > Interesting! What made you come up with
        > > the
        > > > > term "bisexual"
        > > > > for
        > > > > > > your
        > > > > > > > new group? Is it the only best word
        > > possible
        > > > > to use because
        > > > > the
        > > > > > > > term "ex-gay" or "SSA" would not be
        > > > > appropriate to use? Some
        > > > > > > people
        > > > > > > > may be turned off by the word "bisexual"
        > > since
        > > > > it is a secular
        > > > > > > word!
        > > > > > > >
        > > > > > > > If I am fortunate to have a steady
        > > girlfriend
        > > > > one day, your
        > > > > group
        > > > > > > may
        > > > > > > > come in handy!
        > > > > > > >
        > > > > > > > Ken
        > > > > > > >
        > > > > > > > --- In
        > > exgaydiscussionboard@yahoogroups.com,
        > > > > "David"
        > > > > > > > <peacanludwigcarbolic@> wrote:
        > > > > > > > >
        > > > > > > > > I have created a new group called
        >
        === message truncated ===




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