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Re: [ExGDBd] Re: even further to PFOX exgay store

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  • Bridget Night
    There are many ex-gays who never announce they had ssa feelings or lived as a gay. They just go on to live a happy heterosexual life. Having others know about
    Message 1 of 15 , Apr 8, 2006
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      There are many ex-gays who never announce they had ssa feelings or lived as a gay. They just go on to live a happy heterosexual life. Having others know about their past would only hurt them and their families. We do not hear about many of these people. Others, like Richard Cohen, or Sy Rogers, who have ministries that are for learning and healing are open about their lives. I have a few 'ex-gay' is ok, buttons and I wear them at our PFOX meetings. But, I would not normally wear them while grocery shopping etc. I know people would wonder if I had been a lesbian and perhaps feel uncomfortable around me. Many people today do think that if you have same-sex feelings that you could be looking at them that way. Many also believe that gays really can't change and that they just suppress it. When my son came out to his best friends years ago, they told him, 'We have no problem with your being gay, just don't get near our butts," and then laughed. There is still this stereo-type that if you are gay, you are attracted to anything of your same sex that moves.

      It was so interesting when my friend Niels came to visit me this past Christmas. He and my son had already become friends over the net and IM. But, my son has been programmed somewhat by the pro-gays to believe that there is no such thing as ex-gays. So, when my son met Niels in person he suddenly became very leery of him and thought him disingenuous. It took quite awhile before my son believed Niels was safe (and would not hit on him). After he heard Niels speak at our pfox meeting, he cried and realized Niels was for real. Now, my son feels really good around him and they have become friends.

      When I have attended ex-gay meetings, I do wear the pins and carry pamphlets with me. I recall during a lunch break of one of those meetings, a waitress noticed my 'ex-gay' is ok, pin. She said, ' I know that is true, because I used to have same-sex feelings in high school, but now I am married with a child and no longer have those feelings." I told her what I was doing at this hotel and gave her several pamphlets. She was really happy to take them as she had gay friends that she wanted to share that message with. I think each of us really need to be in tune with the spirit in order to know what is the right thing for us personally to do. I have a bumper sticker on my car that says, 'Jesus is Coming, Look Busy." And I get a lot of laughs from it, especially from my two 11 and 13 year old grandsons who are strong Christians. It helps them find my car in the parking lots real fast.

      I am afraid that when Jesus does come many will try to be like this bumper sticker. It will be like in the times of Noah. Like the 10 virgins parable without the oil, we will not survive these difficult times. Sometimes, I get so overwhelmed with trying to get the ex-gay message out because my community and schools are so pro-gay now and sooo hostile to the ex-gay message. I do what I can and I at least want the Lord to know what side I was on when I kick off. I do believe in the importance of doing things in a loving way and setting the good example but there are times when we have to be politically active and use lawyers even to fight for our rights. Sorry, for rambling now.

      Bridget


      www.1stbooks.com/bookview/12053<http://www.1stbooks.com/bookview/12053>
      ----- Original Message -----
      From: Inge Dijkhoff<mailto:a1ami2@...>
      To: exgaydiscussionboard@yahoogroups.com<mailto:exgaydiscussionboard@yahoogroups.com>
      Sent: Saturday, April 08, 2006 3:36 AM
      Subject: [ExGDBd] Re: even further to PFOX exgay store


      I'm not sure I would want to wear a t-shirt that says "EX Gay" on it
      no matter how much I'd want to be rid of the SSA. A healthy life
      speaks louder than words.

      As Christians we are encouraged to be witnesses of our faith and if
      putting verses in one's yard is a way to do it or wearing a t-shirt,
      why not?

      --- In exgaydiscussionboard@yahoogroups.com, nfttm <nfttm@...> wrote:
      >
      > if we (anyone in the ongoing process of liberating themselves from
      unwanted ssa feelings) are trying to get away from labels that
      separate ourselves from others, why would we want to advertise
      ourselves in this way ?? Why not accept the blessing and go about
      encouraging others who seek the same blessing ?? I also know those
      that want to promote and encourage change, and who feel comfortable
      doing this, might make a very positive statement too. I think we
      just have to be careful of what our motives are - the gift of change
      is too important to compromise in any way.
      >







      Questions about the group? Contact our Director & Founder, Alan Levering, directly at: ncxds@...

      The Ex-Gay Discussion Board is a ministry of NCXDS Ex-Gay Internet Christian Ministries

      MINISTRY LINKS!! Feel free to link to these pages on your own website:

      Web: <http://geocities.com/exgaylinks<http://geocities.com/exgaylinks>> | Discussion Board: <http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exgaydiscussionboard<http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exgaydiscussionboard>> | Spanish Language Discussion Board: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exgayenespa<http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exgayenespa> | "Wounded Heart" Abused Men's Group: <http://groups.yahoo.com/group/woundedheart<http://groups.yahoo.com/group/woundedheart>> | Chat: <http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exgaydiscussionboard/chat<http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exgaydiscussionboard/chat>>




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    • Elizabeth Reese
      heterosexuality is not the opposite of homosexuality. some people go on to live celibate lives. Bridget Night wrote: There are
      Message 2 of 15 , Apr 8, 2006
      • 0 Attachment
        heterosexuality is not the opposite of homosexuality. some people go on to live celibate lives.

        Bridget Night <BridgetNight123@...> wrote: There are many ex-gays who never announce they had ssa feelings or lived as a gay. They just go on to live a happy heterosexual life. Having others know about their past would only hurt them and their families. We do not hear about many of these people. Others, like Richard Cohen, or Sy Rogers, who have ministries that are for learning and healing are open about their lives. I have a few 'ex-gay' is ok, buttons and I wear them at our PFOX meetings. But, I would not normally wear them while grocery shopping etc. I know people would wonder if I had been a lesbian and perhaps feel uncomfortable around me. Many people today do think that if you have same-sex feelings that you could be looking at them that way. Many also believe that gays really can't change and that they just suppress it. When my son came out to his best friends years ago, they told him, 'We have no problem with your being gay, just don't get near our
        butts," and then laughed. There is still this stereo-type that if you are gay, you are attracted to anything of your same sex that moves.

        It was so interesting when my friend Niels came to visit me this past Christmas. He and my son had already become friends over the net and IM. But, my son has been programmed somewhat by the pro-gays to believe that there is no such thing as ex-gays. So, when my son met Niels in person he suddenly became very leery of him and thought him disingenuous. It took quite awhile before my son believed Niels was safe (and would not hit on him). After he heard Niels speak at our pfox meeting, he cried and realized Niels was for real. Now, my son feels really good around him and they have become friends.

        When I have attended ex-gay meetings, I do wear the pins and carry pamphlets with me. I recall during a lunch break of one of those meetings, a waitress noticed my 'ex-gay' is ok, pin. She said, ' I know that is true, because I used to have same-sex feelings in high school, but now I am married with a child and no longer have those feelings." I told her what I was doing at this hotel and gave her several pamphlets. She was really happy to take them as she had gay friends that she wanted to share that message with. I think each of us really need to be in tune with the spirit in order to know what is the right thing for us personally to do. I have a bumper sticker on my car that says, 'Jesus is Coming, Look Busy." And I get a lot of laughs from it, especially from my two 11 and 13 year old grandsons who are strong Christians. It helps them find my car in the parking lots real fast.

        I am afraid that when Jesus does come many will try to be like this bumper sticker. It will be like in the times of Noah. Like the 10 virgins parable without the oil, we will not survive these difficult times. Sometimes, I get so overwhelmed with trying to get the ex-gay message out because my community and schools are so pro-gay now and sooo hostile to the ex-gay message. I do what I can and I at least want the Lord to know what side I was on when I kick off. I do believe in the importance of doing things in a loving way and setting the good example but there are times when we have to be politically active and use lawyers even to fight for our rights. Sorry, for rambling now.

        Bridget


        www.1stbooks.com/bookview/12053<http://www.1stbooks.com/bookview/12053>
        ----- Original Message -----
        From: Inge Dijkhoff<mailto:a1ami2@...>
        To: exgaydiscussionboard@yahoogroups.com<mailto:exgaydiscussionboard@yahoogroups.com>
        Sent: Saturday, April 08, 2006 3:36 AM
        Subject: [ExGDBd] Re: even further to PFOX exgay store


        I'm not sure I would want to wear a t-shirt that says "EX Gay" on it
        no matter how much I'd want to be rid of the SSA. A healthy life
        speaks louder than words.

        As Christians we are encouraged to be witnesses of our faith and if
        putting verses in one's yard is a way to do it or wearing a t-shirt,
        why not?

        --- In exgaydiscussionboard@yahoogroups.com, nfttm <nfttm@...> wrote:
        >
        > if we (anyone in the ongoing process of liberating themselves from
        unwanted ssa feelings) are trying to get away from labels that
        separate ourselves from others, why would we want to advertise
        ourselves in this way ?? Why not accept the blessing and go about
        encouraging others who seek the same blessing ?? I also know those
        that want to promote and encourage change, and who feel comfortable
        doing this, might make a very positive statement too. I think we
        just have to be careful of what our motives are - the gift of change
        is too important to compromise in any way.
        >







        Questions about the group? Contact our Director & Founder, Alan Levering, directly at: ncxds@...

        The Ex-Gay Discussion Board is a ministry of NCXDS Ex-Gay Internet Christian Ministries

        MINISTRY LINKS!! Feel free to link to these pages on your own website:

        Web: <http://geocities.com/exgaylinks<http://geocities.com/exgaylinks>> | Discussion Board: <http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exgaydiscussionboard<http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exgaydiscussionboard>> | Spanish Language Discussion Board: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exgayenespa<http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exgayenespa> | "Wounded Heart" Abused Men's Group: <http://groups.yahoo.com/group/woundedheart<http://groups.yahoo.com/group/woundedheart>> | Chat: <http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exgaydiscussionboard/chat<http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exgaydiscussionboard/chat>>




        ------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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        a.. Visit your group "exgaydiscussionboard<http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exgaydiscussionboard>" on the web.

        b.. To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
        exgaydiscussionboard-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com<mailto:exgaydiscussionboard-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com?subject=Unsubscribe>

        c.. Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service<http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/>.


        ------------------------------------------------------------------------------



        [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]



        Questions about the group? Contact our Director & Founder, Alan Levering, directly at: ncxds@...

        The Ex-Gay Discussion Board is a ministry of NCXDS Ex-Gay Internet Christian Ministries

        MINISTRY LINKS!! Feel free to link to these pages on your own website:

        Web: <http://geocities.com/exgaylinks> | Discussion Board: <http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exgaydiscussionboard> | Spanish Language Discussion Board: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exgayenespa | "Wounded Heart" Abused Men's Group: <http://groups.yahoo.com/group/woundedheart> | Chat: <http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exgaydiscussionboard/chat>




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        Visit your group "exgaydiscussionboard" on the web.

        To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
        exgaydiscussionboard-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

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      • nfttm
        when you wrote some people are you referring to heterosexuals or homosexuals ?? Elizabeth Reese wrote: heterosexuality is not the
        Message 3 of 15 , Apr 8, 2006
        • 0 Attachment
          when you wrote "some people" are you referring to heterosexuals or homosexuals ??

          Elizabeth Reese <bethreese316@...> wrote: heterosexuality is not the opposite of homosexuality. some people go on to live celibate lives.

          Bridget Night <BridgetNight123@...> wrote: There are many ex-gays who never announce they had ssa feelings or lived as a gay. They just go on to live a happy heterosexual life. Having others know about their past would only hurt them and their families. We do not hear about many of these people. Others, like Richard Cohen, or Sy Rogers, who have ministries that are for learning and healing are open about their lives. I have a few 'ex-gay' is ok, buttons and I wear them at our PFOX meetings. But, I would not normally wear them while grocery shopping etc. I know people would wonder if I had been a lesbian and perhaps feel uncomfortable around me. Many people today do think that if you have same-sex feelings that you could be looking at them that way. Many also believe that gays really can't change and that they just suppress it. When my son came out to his best friends years ago, they told him, 'We have no problem with your being gay, just don't get near our
          butts," and then laughed. There is still this stereo-type that if you are gay, you are attracted to anything of your same sex that moves.

          It was so interesting when my friend Niels came to visit me this past Christmas. He and my son had already become friends over the net and IM. But, my son has been programmed somewhat by the pro-gays to believe that there is no such thing as ex-gays. So, when my son met Niels in person he suddenly became very leery of him and thought him disingenuous. It took quite awhile before my son believed Niels was safe (and would not hit on him). After he heard Niels speak at our pfox meeting, he cried and realized Niels was for real. Now, my son feels really good around him and they have become friends.

          When I have attended ex-gay meetings, I do wear the pins and carry pamphlets with me. I recall during a lunch break of one of those meetings, a waitress noticed my 'ex-gay' is ok, pin. She said, ' I know that is true, because I used to have same-sex feelings in high school, but now I am married with a child and no longer have those feelings." I told her what I was doing at this hotel and gave her several pamphlets. She was really happy to take them as she had gay friends that she wanted to share that message with. I think each of us really need to be in tune with the spirit in order to know what is the right thing for us personally to do. I have a bumper sticker on my car that says, 'Jesus is Coming, Look Busy." And I get a lot of laughs from it, especially from my two 11 and 13 year old grandsons who are strong Christians. It helps them find my car in the parking lots real fast.

          I am afraid that when Jesus does come many will try to be like this bumper sticker. It will be like in the times of Noah. Like the 10 virgins parable without the oil, we will not survive these difficult times. Sometimes, I get so overwhelmed with trying to get the ex-gay message out because my community and schools are so pro-gay now and sooo hostile to the ex-gay message. I do what I can and I at least want the Lord to know what side I was on when I kick off. I do believe in the importance of doing things in a loving way and setting the good example but there are times when we have to be politically active and use lawyers even to fight for our rights. Sorry, for rambling now.

          Bridget


          www.1stbooks.com/bookview/12053<http://www.1stbooks.com/bookview/12053>
          ----- Original Message -----
          From: Inge Dijkhoff<mailto:a1ami2@...>
          To: exgaydiscussionboard@yahoogroups.com<mailto:exgaydiscussionboard@yahoogroups.com>
          Sent: Saturday, April 08, 2006 3:36 AM
          Subject: [ExGDBd] Re: even further to PFOX exgay store


          I'm not sure I would want to wear a t-shirt that says "EX Gay" on it
          no matter how much I'd want to be rid of the SSA. A healthy life
          speaks louder than words.

          As Christians we are encouraged to be witnesses of our faith and if
          putting verses in one's yard is a way to do it or wearing a t-shirt,
          why not?

          --- In exgaydiscussionboard@yahoogroups.com, nfttm <nfttm@...> wrote:
          >
          > if we (anyone in the ongoing process of liberating themselves from
          unwanted ssa feelings) are trying to get away from labels that
          separate ourselves from others, why would we want to advertise
          ourselves in this way ?? Why not accept the blessing and go about
          encouraging others who seek the same blessing ?? I also know those
          that want to promote and encourage change, and who feel comfortable
          doing this, might make a very positive statement too. I think we
          just have to be careful of what our motives are - the gift of change
          is too important to compromise in any way.
          >







          Questions about the group? Contact our Director & Founder, Alan Levering, directly at: ncxds@...

          The Ex-Gay Discussion Board is a ministry of NCXDS Ex-Gay Internet Christian Ministries

          MINISTRY LINKS!! Feel free to link to these pages on your own website:

          Web: <http://geocities.com/exgaylinks<http://geocities.com/exgaylinks>> | Discussion Board: <http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exgaydiscussionboard<http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exgaydiscussionboard>> | Spanish Language Discussion Board: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exgayenespa<http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exgayenespa> | "Wounded Heart" Abused Men's Group: <http://groups.yahoo.com/group/woundedheart<http://groups.yahoo.com/group/woundedheart>> | Chat: <http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exgaydiscussionboard/chat<http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exgaydiscussionboard/chat>>




          ------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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          a.. Visit your group "exgaydiscussionboard<http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exgaydiscussionboard>" on the web.

          b.. To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
          exgaydiscussionboard-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com<mailto:exgaydiscussionboard-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com?subject=Unsubscribe>

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          ------------------------------------------------------------------------------



          [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]



          Questions about the group? Contact our Director & Founder, Alan Levering, directly at: ncxds@...

          The Ex-Gay Discussion Board is a ministry of NCXDS Ex-Gay Internet Christian Ministries

          MINISTRY LINKS!! Feel free to link to these pages on your own website:

          Web: <http://geocities.com/exgaylinks> | Discussion Board: <http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exgaydiscussionboard> | Spanish Language Discussion Board: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exgayenespa | "Wounded Heart" Abused Men's Group: <http://groups.yahoo.com/group/woundedheart> | Chat: <http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exgaydiscussionboard/chat>




          ---------------------------------
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          Visit your group "exgaydiscussionboard" on the web.

          To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
          exgaydiscussionboard-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

          Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.


          ---------------------------------





          ---------------------------------
          Love cheap thrills? Enjoy PC-to-Phone calls to 30+ countries for just 2¢/min with Yahoo! Messenger with Voice.

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          Questions about the group? Contact our Director & Founder, Alan Levering, directly at: ncxds@...

          The Ex-Gay Discussion Board is a ministry of NCXDS Ex-Gay Internet Christian Ministries

          MINISTRY LINKS!! Feel free to link to these pages on your own website:

          Web: <http://geocities.com/exgaylinks> | Discussion Board: <http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exgaydiscussionboard> | Spanish Language Discussion Board: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exgayenespa | "Wounded Heart" Abused Men's Group: <http://groups.yahoo.com/group/woundedheart> | Chat: <http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exgaydiscussionboard/chat>




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