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Holidays

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  • Bethany
    Hi there, Anyone else having a hard time thinking about the holidays coming up? I just don t want to deal with my brother and sisters and their spouses or
    Message 1 of 9 , Nov 17, 2004
      Hi there,
      Anyone else having a hard time thinking about the holidays coming
      up? I just don't want to deal with my brother and sisters and their
      spouses or boyfriends. The holidays have always been a bit hard as a
      single person, but this year they really suck with my coming out of
      denial and my admission to myself of my SSA. Just knowing that a
      relationship I desire is not acceptable in my family or to God and
      to see that the others have someone to love. I don't get that luxury
      and that really bothers me. Only two of them know what is going on
      in my life and that is hard for me to not be open about the pure
      struggle. I just want to escape and avoid all celebrations this
      year.

      ~Bethany
    • Katherine Davies
      Holidays are usually awkward for me, too. I am going to Mexico where my step mother has a house. I will be with people I sort of like but it is always weird.
      Message 2 of 9 , Nov 17, 2004
        Holidays are usually awkward for me, too. I am going to Mexico
        where my step mother has a house. I will be with people I sort of
        like but it is always weird. My step sister is absolutely rude and
        will probably rib me about my sexual past. She always makes an
        issue of things. She is less educated than I and earns less income -
        so she is really jealous. Anyhow, she is an absolute bear. My
        other step sister is really cool and stable and fun. I am going to
        see her family and my step Mom, really.

        Other than that - I do get lonely but am working on my attitude
        towards relationships and focusing on what God puts in my life and
        work on those things. Right now I am working on the unhealthy
        choices I have made in men in my recent past and looking at what
        kind of man is healthy and honorable etc...

        More later as the season picks up.

        Kat D.










        --- In exgaydiscussionboard@yahoogroups.com, "Bethany"
        <castledweller7@y...> wrote:
        >
        > Hi there,
        > Anyone else having a hard time thinking about the holidays coming
        > up? I just don't want to deal with my brother and sisters and
        their
        > spouses or boyfriends. The holidays have always been a bit hard as
        a
        > single person, but this year they really suck with my coming out
        of
        > denial and my admission to myself of my SSA. Just knowing that a
        > relationship I desire is not acceptable in my family or to God and
        > to see that the others have someone to love. I don't get that
        luxury
        > and that really bothers me. Only two of them know what is going on
        > in my life and that is hard for me to not be open about the pure
        > struggle. I just want to escape and avoid all celebrations this
        > year.
        >
        > ~Bethany
      • ctickle777
        Hi Bethany. Wow, there have been times when I too want to just skip over certain occasions, because of the people I will inevitably encounter. Just remember
        Message 3 of 9 , Nov 18, 2004
          Hi Bethany. Wow, there have been times when I too want to just skip
          over certain occasions, because of the people I will inevitably
          encounter. Just remember that all those inlaws and relatives...have
          SINNED just like you. They may have sinned in different ways, but
          let me just tell you, their sin is equal to yours in God's eyes. I
          am sure that your "sexual orientation" is very difficult to explain
          to others who don't understand what you've been through...but
          remember, although you sinned, you're NEW NOW, not based on what you
          do, what you did, or your sexual orientation, but based on how GOD
          SEES YOU. You're just as righteous in God's eyes today, that you
          will be next year, and the year after that, and so on. You're 100%
          reconciled to God, permanently. What others' think or say, or
          perceive you to be is just an opinion...and has not one bit of
          relevance about who YOU REALLY ARE. Fact is, You are a SAINT. You
          still sin, but you're still as SAINT. Join you family and relatives
          this holiday season, knowing that you are a new creation, a child of
          God, a saint who sins, and just as interesting, special, and gifted
          as each of your inlaws. So, some of them are married...think of the
          bright side of things...they are married and they have
          responsibilities YOU don't yet have!

          I've been married for nearly 7 years...and I have grown to another
          level of love with my husband, but don't you think I look at my best
          friend, who is single, and think, Wow, she has so much to look
          forward to...so much excitment ahead! Just like you! Let me tell you
          from experience, they may be arm-in-arm with their special someone
          snuggling in front of the fire, but you, my dear, get to look
          FORWARD to meeting the man God desires as your helpmate...you have
          surprises and expectations these old married folk no longer get to
          look forward to! Rejoice. You're single, you've been set free and
          are now a child of God with a new spirit in you...Jesus is your
          special someone, and He will walk arm-in-arm with you as you
          celebrate His birth this Christmas!

          To be totally honest, I'm expecting to hear gasps from relatives
          when they see me five months pregnant during the holidays! I can
          hear the "How on EARTH do you take care of all three of your
          children? Oh my goodness, you should be so glad you're so young. I
          think we all have unbearable inlaws that we dread visiting.

          So, I'm not looking forward to it entirely either, but you know
          what, I know who I am, and I'm thankful God has led me to where I am
          today. I may not drive a Lexus like all my single or child-less
          relatives, and I may be the only homemaker in my family, who gets
          the degrading looks for dropping my college education and postponing
          graduate school to stay home with the kids, but that's what God has
          allowed me to do, and it may be the less-glamourous job of all, but
          it certainly is a gift from God. Do you know how many times I've
          heard, "I thought you would be out of medical school by now..." over
          the years? I just grit my teeth and say, "I thought I wanted
          that...but now I know God has led me to a higher calling!" Let me
          tell you, it doesn't stop them from asking the question, but it
          certainly puts the lid on the conversation! Before I allowed God to
          give me confidence, I would often respond to such a question with
          a "Well, I'm going back eventually...I'm working on it..." Now, I
          just tell them the truth! I'm not here on earth to please others,
          but to please and honor my Heavenly Father, and fulfill my God-
          ordained role as a mother and wife. There will be a time when God
          tells me to "go out and pursue that second degree," and He'll make a
          way for me to do it when the time is right. As for you, when He
          wants you to find that lifetime mate, He will provide him for you.
          You desire in your heart to find a special someone...it will happen.

          Just look at all God is accomplishing in you! I know God is working
          in the lives of your relatives, but I do not hesitate to say that He
          is working in your life in a marvelous way!

          You, too, are honoring God, Bethany! You're where He wants you to
          be, and you're growing daily as His beloved child. Girl, you hold
          your head high, and don't ever let others' perceptions of you define
          who you are! They may not know or understand all you're going
          through, but rest assured, God does!

          My prayers are with you, beautiful and special child of God,

          Christa : )

          --- In exgaydiscussionboard@yahoogroups.com, "Bethany"
          <castledweller7@y...> wrote:
          >
          > Hi there,
          > Anyone else having a hard time thinking about the holidays coming
          > up? I just don't want to deal with my brother and sisters and
          their
          > spouses or boyfriends. The holidays have always been a bit hard as
          a
          > single person, but this year they really suck with my coming out
          of
          > denial and my admission to myself of my SSA. Just knowing that a
          > relationship I desire is not acceptable in my family or to God and
          > to see that the others have someone to love. I don't get that
          luxury
          > and that really bothers me. Only two of them know what is going on
          > in my life and that is hard for me to not be open about the pure
          > struggle. I just want to escape and avoid all celebrations this
          > year.
          >
          > ~Bethany
        • ctickle777
          Praying for you, too, Kat! : ) Christa ... and ... income - ... to ... coming ... as ... and ... on
          Message 4 of 9 , Nov 18, 2004
            Praying for you, too, Kat! : )

            Christa

            --- In exgaydiscussionboard@yahoogroups.com, "Katherine Davies"
            <katdavies1973@y...> wrote:
            >
            > Holidays are usually awkward for me, too. I am going to Mexico
            > where my step mother has a house. I will be with people I sort of
            > like but it is always weird. My step sister is absolutely rude
            and
            > will probably rib me about my sexual past. She always makes an
            > issue of things. She is less educated than I and earns less
            income -
            > so she is really jealous. Anyhow, she is an absolute bear. My
            > other step sister is really cool and stable and fun. I am going
            to
            > see her family and my step Mom, really.
            >
            > Other than that - I do get lonely but am working on my attitude
            > towards relationships and focusing on what God puts in my life and
            > work on those things. Right now I am working on the unhealthy
            > choices I have made in men in my recent past and looking at what
            > kind of man is healthy and honorable etc...
            >
            > More later as the season picks up.
            >
            > Kat D.
            >
            >
            >
            >
            >
            >
            >
            >
            >
            >
            > --- In exgaydiscussionboard@yahoogroups.com, "Bethany"
            > <castledweller7@y...> wrote:
            > >
            > > Hi there,
            > > Anyone else having a hard time thinking about the holidays
            coming
            > > up? I just don't want to deal with my brother and sisters and
            > their
            > > spouses or boyfriends. The holidays have always been a bit hard
            as
            > a
            > > single person, but this year they really suck with my coming out
            > of
            > > denial and my admission to myself of my SSA. Just knowing that a
            > > relationship I desire is not acceptable in my family or to God
            and
            > > to see that the others have someone to love. I don't get that
            > luxury
            > > and that really bothers me. Only two of them know what is going
            on
            > > in my life and that is hard for me to not be open about the pure
            > > struggle. I just want to escape and avoid all celebrations this
            > > year.
            > >
            > > ~Bethany
          • Bethany
            Christa, Thank you for your kind words. I just want you to know that I think being a stay-at-home-mom is a beautiful profession and you work harder than I do
            Message 5 of 9 , Nov 18, 2004
              Christa,
              Thank you for your kind words. I just want you to know that I
              think being a stay-at-home-mom is a beautiful profession and you
              work harder than I do at my two jobs! :)

              ~Bethany

              --- In exgaydiscussionboard@yahoogroups.com, "ctickle777"
              <ctickle777@y...> wrote:
              >
              > Hi Bethany. Wow, there have been times when I too want to just
              skip
              > over certain occasions, because of the people I will inevitably
              > encounter. Just remember that all those inlaws and
              relatives...have
              > SINNED just like you.
            • saltnlight@netryders.com
              Here is something that all who are struggling with this season can focus on and will help you to endure. My prayers are with you as well. Jan AMAZING LOVE -
              Message 6 of 9 , Nov 18, 2004
                Here is something that all who are struggling with this season can focus
                on and will help you to endure. My prayers are with you as well. Jan


                AMAZING LOVE - HOW CAN IT BE?
                11/2002
                W. ROSE

                In the quiet of the night, I hear the Saviour say - "Come to Me, you who
                are weary, and burdened, I will give you rest!" How can it be?! The
                Creator of the universe, the Sovereign King, consider this wretched worm?
                What a hard thing for this battered, weak, frail, mortal to comprehend.

                My soul cries out to You Lord! I agonize over the choices I make. How I
                trample your blood underfoot and then I bring my sin stained garments into
                your sight. What a fool I am, Lord, to choose sin over you! You are
                innocent and I pound in the nails, You forgive and I shove the sword in
                further.

                Peace, A lost treasure in this heart. Forgiveness, I am not worthy. Hell,
                My rightful home in eternity! My conscience declares my judgement. Oh
                wretched man that I am, Who will deliver me from this body of death? How
                can I escape the rightful wrath of a just God? Can my Saviour ever recieve
                even one ounce of glory out of this maggot?

                My son, I hear your cries, Your tears have ascended to Me and I weep with
                you. My heart is broken for you, Not only because you have grieven Me, But
                also because you think My blood wasn't enough to cleanse you. Lift up your
                head and see- The Lamb of God, Who will take away the sins of the world!!
                I see your heart and I plead to the Father for you. LOOK!! Your sins were
                as scarlet, But now, They are as white as snow! I forgive you, My son, now
                GO, and sin no more.

                Peace, Is flooding this void! Light, Chases away the dark night. Joy, I
                feel like shouting - HALLELUJAH!! Glory and honor, What I can only hope my
                King will get out of this marred, helpless creature!

                You alone are worthy tonight and FOREVER - Jesus!!

                Thank you for ALL You have done -

                May the Lamb that was slain, recieve the reward of His suffering!

                Now, How may I serve you - Master.....

                Here are the words of the song and the chords in case you play:
                Amazing Love, How Can it Be


                E/G# A B
                I’m forgiven because You were forsaken,
                E/G# A B
                I’m accepted, You were condemned,
                E/G# A B
                I’m alive and well Your spirit is within me
                A B E
                Because you died and rose again.

                E A
                Amazing love, how can it be
                E B
                That You my King would die for me?
                E A
                Amazing love, I know it’s true,
                E B
                And it’s my joy to honor You,
                A B E
                In all I do; I’ll honor You

                E B E E B E
                You are my King, You are my King.




                >
                >
                > Praying for you, too, Kat! : )
                >
                > Christa
                >
                > --- In exgaydiscussionboard@yahoogroups.com, "Katherine Davies"
                > <katdavies1973@y...> wrote:
                >>
                >> Holidays are usually awkward for me, too. I am going to Mexico
                >> where my step mother has a house. I will be with people I sort of
                >> like but it is always weird. My step sister is absolutely rude
                > and
                >> will probably rib me about my sexual past. She always makes an
                >> issue of things. She is less educated than I and earns less
                > income -
                >> so she is really jealous. Anyhow, she is an absolute bear. My
                >> other step sister is really cool and stable and fun. I am going
                > to
                >> see her family and my step Mom, really.
                >>
                >> Other than that - I do get lonely but am working on my attitude
                >> towards relationships and focusing on what God puts in my life and
                >> work on those things. Right now I am working on the unhealthy
                >> choices I have made in men in my recent past and looking at what
                >> kind of man is healthy and honorable etc...
                >>
                >> More later as the season picks up.
                >>
                >> Kat D.
                >>
                >>
                >>
                >>
                >>
                >>
                >>
                >>
                >>
                >>
                >> --- In exgaydiscussionboard@yahoogroups.com, "Bethany"
                >> <castledweller7@y...> wrote:
                >> >
                >> > Hi there,
                >> > Anyone else having a hard time thinking about the holidays
                > coming
                >> > up? I just don't want to deal with my brother and sisters and
                >> their
                >> > spouses or boyfriends. The holidays have always been a bit hard
                > as
                >> a
                >> > single person, but this year they really suck with my coming out
                >> of
                >> > denial and my admission to myself of my SSA. Just knowing that a
                >> > relationship I desire is not acceptable in my family or to God
                > and
                >> > to see that the others have someone to love. I don't get that
                >> luxury
                >> > and that really bothers me. Only two of them know what is going
                > on
                >> > in my life and that is hard for me to not be open about the pure
                >> > struggle. I just want to escape and avoid all celebrations this
                >> > year.
                >> >
                >> > ~Bethany
                >
                >
                >
                >
                >
                >
                > Questions about the group? Contact our Director & Founder, Alan Levering,
                > directly at: ncxds@...
                >
                > The Ex-Gay Discussion Board is a ministry of NCXDS Ex-Gay Internet
                > Christian Ministries
                >
                > MINISTRY LINKS!! Feel free to link to these pages on your own website:
                >
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                > Yahoo! Groups Links
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                >
                >
                >
              • mlmbr549@webtv.net
                I too get lonely during the holidays, not so much at Thanksgiving as we as a family never made that big of a deal over it. It s Christmas that I have a problem
                Message 7 of 9 , Nov 18, 2004
                  I too get lonely during the holidays, not so much at Thanksgiving as we
                  as a family never made that big of a deal over it. It's Christmas that I
                  have a problem dealing with. My parents and closest relatives are all
                  dead and basicly I now have no family to spend it with. I used to be
                  involved with the writing/production of our church's Christmas play and
                  I let THAT be my Christmas. Well as I mentioned in another post THAT has
                  been shot out of the water.

                  Now I ask God to show me how to purposely be a blessing to someone else
                  in my life. I ask Him to show me how I can get my mind off myself and my
                  problems and sow into someone else's life in order to open the door for
                  my needs to be met. This is how I fight Satan when he attacks me with
                  thoughts loneliness and when he tries to get me to throw a pity party
                  for myself.

                  To all those who are lonely during the season the best thing I can
                  suggest is to get your mind OFF yourself and find someone else in your
                  life that you can be a blessing to. Don't wait for charitable feeling to
                  plop into your head on it's own because it's not gonna happen. You have
                  to be proactive and be creative. Ask God to show you things you have
                  that you can give away. This is one thing that I do ver often all year
                  round but especially during the holidays.

                  Hope this helps,

                  Marvin
                  Mobile, AL
                • Bridget Night
                  Martin, What excellent advice! As we loose ourselves in Gods work we find ourselves. If you are even in Davenport, come have dinner with us. Bridget ... From:
                  Message 8 of 9 , Nov 19, 2004
                    Martin,

                    What excellent advice! As we loose ourselves in Gods work we find
                    ourselves. If you are even in Davenport, come have dinner with us.
                    Bridget

                    -----Original Message-----
                    From: mlmbr549@... [mailto:mlmbr549@...]
                    Sent: Thursday, November 18, 2004 8:48 PM
                    To: exgaydiscussionboard@yahoogroups.com
                    Subject: [ExGDBd] Re: Holidays

                    I too get lonely during the holidays, not so much at Thanksgiving as we
                    as a family never made that big of a deal over it. It's Christmas that I
                    have a problem dealing with. My parents and closest relatives are all
                    dead and basicly I now have no family to spend it with. I used to be
                    involved with the writing/production of our church's Christmas play and
                    I let THAT be my Christmas. Well as I mentioned in another post THAT has
                    been shot out of the water.

                    Now I ask God to show me how to purposely be a blessing to someone else
                    in my life. I ask Him to show me how I can get my mind off myself and my
                    problems and sow into someone else's life in order to open the door for
                    my needs to be met. This is how I fight Satan when he attacks me with
                    thoughts loneliness and when he tries to get me to throw a pity party
                    for myself.

                    To all those who are lonely during the season the best thing I can
                    suggest is to get your mind OFF yourself and find someone else in your
                    life that you can be a blessing to. Don't wait for charitable feeling to
                    plop into your head on it's own because it's not gonna happen. You have
                    to be proactive and be creative. Ask God to show you things you have
                    that you can give away. This is one thing that I do ver often all year
                    round but especially during the holidays.

                    Hope this helps,

                    Marvin
                    Mobile, AL



                    Questions about the group? Contact our Director & Founder, Alan
                    Levering, directly at: ncxds@...

                    The Ex-Gay Discussion Board is a ministry of NCXDS Ex-Gay Internet
                    Christian Ministries

                    MINISTRY LINKS!! Feel free to link to these pages on your own website:

                    Web: <http://geocities.com/exgaylinks> | Discussion Board:
                    <http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exgaydiscussionboard> | Spanish Language
                    Discussion Board: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exgayenespa | "Wounded
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                  • Katherine Davies
                    Hi Bridget, My holidays went okay. Lots of parties to attend and I was all worn out by Christmas. I m staying in for New Year s. It was pretty uneventful.
                    Message 9 of 9 , Dec 31, 2004
                      Hi Bridget,

                      My holidays went okay. Lots of parties to attend and I was all worn
                      out by Christmas. I'm staying in for New Year's.

                      It was pretty uneventful.

                      I'm glad to hear your son is making progress. I really do hope he
                      comes around.

                      Kat D.
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