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Re: [ExGDBd] Integration

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  • Katherine Davies
    Hi Bethany, Well, I found some very sound advice from a website that caters to youth who have same sex attraction. (It is a Christian site) It gives advice on
    Message 1 of 18 , Oct 6, 2004
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      Hi Bethany,

      Well, I found some very sound advice from a website that caters to
      youth who have same sex attraction. (It is a Christian site) It
      gives advice on how to discern who is a real gracious and merciful
      person in the body of Christ as opposed to the legalistic Christian
      who prefers to condemn. And I am going to use those guidelines to
      help separate the "wheat from the chaff" as I begin this journey of
      becoming the real woman God designed me to be, including sharing my
      testimony and victory with others.

      If you would like to know the website, please e-mail me privately.

      I think it would be helpful to you as well.

      God Bless,

      Kat D.





      --- In exgaydiscussionboard@yahoogroups.com, "Bethany"
      <castledweller7@y...> wrote:
      >
      > Kat,
      > I have told no one at my church although a couple of women
      found
      > out from my friend. I told a few friends and one acted very
      > homophobic and told me that she hoped I wasn't attracted to her. I
      > told her not to worry because I was attracted to personality. My
      mom
      > knows and one sister. I too fear rejection and I totally
      understand
      > wanting to be able to share and be open about this. My Bible study
      > ladies don't even know and I want to tell them, but I can't bring
      > myself to be open about this. I am praying for one person at
      church
      > to tell so I can have someone to talk about this with. I would
      > encourage you to find one person that you can really trust and
      tell
      > them first. You don't need any more hurt or shaming and many times
      > the church is very good at dishing that out to hurting people.
      >
      > (I told my mom that if the rest of my family found out, I would
      > disappear and leave no forwarding address. I just couldn't handle
      it)
    • Katherine Davies
      Hmmm, that s sad. It s sad for anyone of us who is held in this kind of bondage. Myself included. I pray that someday we may all walk in the light of our
      Message 2 of 18 , Oct 6, 2004
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        Hmmm, that's sad. It's sad for anyone of us who is held in this
        kind of bondage. Myself included. I pray that someday we may all
        walk in the light of our Lord.

        Thanks Alan for sharing. Do you also want to just shout from the
        top of your lungs on certains days? How the Lord has saved you,
        too!!

        Kat D.



        -- In exgaydiscussionboard@yahoogroups.com, Alan Levering
        <ncxds2@y...> wrote:
        > out of my entire church, only a select few know my
        > testimony, even though I run this ministry. It may be
        > different with men because ever straights can easily
        > ostrasize(sp?) men who are different. I wanted to be
        > able to be accepted by men in the church as just
        > another man without them pre-judging me and my
        > actions.
        > --- katdavies1973@y... <katdavies1973@y...>
        > wrote:
        > >
        > > Hi Everyone,
        > >
        > > I am currently at a crossroads. I want desperatley
        > to let others in
        > > my church know who I am but I fear rejection. When
        > I first became
        > > a Christian I was not living in the lifestyole
        > however, looked very
        > > gay. And a couple of people were quick to "convict"
        > me by saying
        > > that homosexuality was a sin. Of course, they did
        > not ask about my
        > > testimony or background. They just wanted to be sure
        > I knew it
        > > was "unacceptable".
        > >
        > > Anyhow, time has passed and I look like an average
        > woman and you
        > > probably would not guess about my background. But
        > those prior
        > > experiences have made me gun shy. I am thirsty and
        > hunger for a
        > > deeper fellowship in the body of Christ - I feel
        > like I am dying on
        > > the vine. I want to know, how have others
        > integrated into their
        > > heterosexual life and life at church. Do you tell
        > or just wither
        > > away in silence?
        > >
        > >
        > > Kat D.
        > >
        > >
        > >
        >
        >
        > =====
        > -- In Him who leads us to the Absolute Truth,
        > Alan Levering; Founder, NCXDS Ex-Gay Internet Ministries
        >
        > Web: <http://geocities.com/exgaylinks> | Discussion Board:
        <http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exgaydiscussionboard> | Spanish
        Language Discussion Board: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exgayenespa
        | "Wounded Heart" Abused Men's Group:
        <http://groups.yahoo.com/group/woundedheart> | Chat:
        <http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exgaydiscussionboard/chat>
        > Feel free to link to these pages on your own website!!!
        >
        >
        >
        > _______________________________
        > Do you Yahoo!?
        > Declare Yourself - Register online to vote today!
        > http://vote.yahoo.com
      • Alan Levering
        Amen!! ... very ... thing ... struggles ... I ll ... desperatley ... When ... convict ... sure ... average ... But ... and ... ===== -- In Him who leads us
        Message 3 of 18 , Oct 7, 2004
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          Amen!!
          --- want2bfree1974@...
          <want2bfree1974@...> wrote:
          > Hi,
          > I don't know the right answer - should we, shouldn't
          > we tell those at church, but I think a good thought
          > is, if you feel it's important to do so, I think you
          > should, HOWEVER, in light of your fears, just be
          very
          > choosey about who you tell. Not everyone needs to
          > know and its not neccasarily healthy for everyone to
          > know. And that's true for ANY struggle not just
          > homosexuality.
          > I understand that struggling with homosexuality is a
          > major part of who we are, but it's not the only
          thing
          > we are, so again everyone knowing about our
          struggles
          > isn't always helpful.
          > I don't know if that's helpful to you or not, but
          I'll
          > pray for wisdom for you in who to tell and when to
          > tell, and that they will recieve it in a way that is
          > encouraging to you.
          >
          > Todd
          > --- Katherine Davies <katdavies1973@...>
          wrote:
          >
          > >
          > > Hi Everyone,
          > >
          > > I am currently at a crossroads. I want
          desperatley
          > > to let others in
          > > my church know who I am but I fear rejection.
          When
          > > I first became
          > > a Christian I was not living in the lifestyole
          > > however, looked very
          > > gay. And a couple of people were quick to
          "convict"
          > > me by saying
          > > that homosexuality was a sin. Of course, they did
          > > not ask about my
          > > testimony or background. They just wanted to be
          sure
          > > I knew it
          > > was "unacceptable".
          > >
          > > Anyhow, time has passed and I look like an
          average
          > > woman and you
          > > probably would not guess about my background.
          But
          > > those prior
          > > experiences have made me gun shy. I am thirsty
          and
          > > hunger for a
          > > deeper fellowship in the body of Christ - I feel
          > > like I am dying on
          > > the vine. I want to know, how have others
          > > integrated into their
          > > heterosexual life and life at church. Do you tell
          > > or just wither
          > > away in silence?
          > >
          > >
          > > Kat D.
          > >
          > >
          > >
          > >
          >
          >
          >
          >
          > _______________________________
          > Do you Yahoo!?
          > Declare Yourself - Register online to vote today!
          > http://vote.yahoo.com


          =====
          -- In Him who leads us to the Absolute Truth,
          Alan Levering; Founder, NCXDS Ex-Gay Internet Ministries

          Web: <http://geocities.com/exgaylinks> | Discussion Board: <http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exgaydiscussionboard> | Spanish Language Discussion Board: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exgayenespa | "Wounded Heart" Abused Men's Group: <http://groups.yahoo.com/group/woundedheart> | Chat: <http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exgaydiscussionboard/chat>
          Feel free to link to these pages on your own website!!!



          _______________________________
          Do you Yahoo!?
          Declare Yourself - Register online to vote today!
          http://vote.yahoo.com
        • Alan Levering
          kat, please post the site address on the board. I think it would be beneficial to all of us. Thanks. ... that caters to ... Christian site) It ... gracious and
          Message 4 of 18 , Oct 7, 2004
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            kat, please post the site address on the board. I
            think it would be beneficial to all of us. Thanks.
            --- katdavies1973@... <katdavies1973@...>
            wrote:
            >
            > Hi Bethany,
            >
            > Well, I found some very sound advice from a website
            that caters to
            > youth who have same sex attraction. (It is a
            Christian site) It
            > gives advice on how to discern who is a real
            gracious and merciful
            > person in the body of Christ as opposed to the
            legalistic Christian
            > who prefers to condemn. And I am going to use those
            guidelines to
            > help separate the "wheat from the chaff" as I begin
            this journey of
            > becoming the real woman God designed me to be,
            including sharing my
            > testimony and victory with others.
            >
            > If you would like to know the website, please e-mail
            me privately.
            >
            > I think it would be helpful to you as well.
            >
            > God Bless,
            >
            > Kat D.
            >
            >
            >
            >
            >
            > --- In exgaydiscussionboard@yahoogroups.com,
            "Bethany"
            > <castledweller7@y...> wrote:
            > >
            > > Kat,
            > > I have told no one at my church although a
            couple of women
            > found
            > > out from my friend. I told a few friends and one
            acted very
            > > homophobic and told me that she hoped I wasn't
            attracted to her. I
            > > told her not to worry because I was attracted to
            personality. My
            > mom
            > > knows and one sister. I too fear rejection and I
            totally
            > understand
            > > wanting to be able to share and be open about
            this. My Bible study
            > > ladies don't even know and I want to tell them,
            but I can't bring
            > > myself to be open about this. I am praying for one
            person at
            > church
            > > to tell so I can have someone to talk about this
            with. I would
            > > encourage you to find one person that you can
            really trust and
            > tell
            > > them first. You don't need any more hurt or
            shaming and many times
            > > the church is very good at dishing that out to
            hurting people.
            > >
            > > (I told my mom that if the rest of my family found
            out, I would
            > > disappear and leave no forwarding address. I just
            couldn't handle
            > it)
            >
            >
            >


            =====
            -- In Him who leads us to the Absolute Truth,
            Alan Levering; Founder, NCXDS Ex-Gay Internet Ministries

            Web: <http://geocities.com/exgaylinks> | Discussion Board: <http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exgaydiscussionboard> | Spanish Language Discussion Board: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exgayenespa | "Wounded Heart" Abused Men's Group: <http://groups.yahoo.com/group/woundedheart> | Chat: <http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exgaydiscussionboard/chat>
            Feel free to link to these pages on your own website!!!



            _______________________________
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            Declare Yourself - Register online to vote today!
            http://vote.yahoo.com
          • Bridget Night
            I agree. I would like that link too. Bridget ... From: Alan Levering To:
            Message 5 of 18 , Oct 7, 2004
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              I agree. I would like that link too. Bridget
              ----- Original Message -----
              From: Alan Levering<mailto:ncxds2@...>
              To: exgaydiscussionboard@yahoogroups.com<mailto:exgaydiscussionboard@yahoogroups.com>
              Sent: Thursday, October 07, 2004 11:38 AM
              Subject: Re: [ExGDBd] Integration


              kat, please post the site address on the board. I
              think it would be beneficial to all of us. Thanks.
              --- katdavies1973@...<mailto:katdavies1973@...> <katdavies1973@...<mailto:katdavies1973@...>>
              wrote:
              >
              > Hi Bethany,
              >
              > Well, I found some very sound advice from a website
              that caters to
              > youth who have same sex attraction. (It is a
              Christian site) It
              > gives advice on how to discern who is a real
              gracious and merciful
              > person in the body of Christ as opposed to the
              legalistic Christian
              > who prefers to condemn. And I am going to use those
              guidelines to
              > help separate the "wheat from the chaff" as I begin
              this journey of
              > becoming the real woman God designed me to be,
              including sharing my
              > testimony and victory with others.
              >
              > If you would like to know the website, please e-mail
              me privately.
              >
              > I think it would be helpful to you as well.
              >
              > God Bless,
              >
              > Kat D.
              >
              >
              >
              >
              >
              > --- In exgaydiscussionboard@yahoogroups.com,
              "Bethany"
              > <castledweller7@y...> wrote:
              > >
              > > Kat,
              > > I have told no one at my church although a
              couple of women
              > found
              > > out from my friend. I told a few friends and one
              acted very
              > > homophobic and told me that she hoped I wasn't
              attracted to her. I
              > > told her not to worry because I was attracted to
              personality. My
              > mom
              > > knows and one sister. I too fear rejection and I
              totally
              > understand
              > > wanting to be able to share and be open about
              this. My Bible study
              > > ladies don't even know and I want to tell them,
              but I can't bring
              > > myself to be open about this. I am praying for one
              person at
              > church
              > > to tell so I can have someone to talk about this
              with. I would
              > > encourage you to find one person that you can
              really trust and
              > tell
              > > them first. You don't need any more hurt or
              shaming and many times
              > > the church is very good at dishing that out to
              hurting people.
              > >
              > > (I told my mom that if the rest of my family found
              out, I would
              > > disappear and leave no forwarding address. I just
              couldn't handle
              > it)
              >
              >
              >


              =====
              -- In Him who leads us to the Absolute Truth,
              Alan Levering; Founder, NCXDS Ex-Gay Internet Ministries

              Web: <http://geocities.com/exgaylinks<http://geocities.com/exgaylinks>> | Discussion Board: <http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exgaydiscussionboard<http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exgaydiscussionboard>> | Spanish Language Discussion Board: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exgayenespa<http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exgayenespa> | "Wounded Heart" Abused Men's Group: <http://groups.yahoo.com/group/woundedheart<http://groups.yahoo.com/group/woundedheart>> | Chat: <http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exgaydiscussionboard/chat<http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exgaydiscussionboard/chat>>
              Feel free to link to these pages on your own website!!!



              _______________________________
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              Questions about the group? Contact our Director & Founder, Alan Levering, directly at: ncxds@...

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              [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
            • Alan Levering
              I think that may be exactly why I started this ministry -- as a healthy way to get it all out. ;-) ... held in this ... someday we may all ... shout from the
              Message 6 of 18 , Oct 7, 2004
              • 0 Attachment
                I think that may be exactly why I started this
                ministry -- as a healthy way to get it all out. ;-)
                --- katdavies1973@... <katdavies1973@...>
                wrote:
                >
                > Hmmm, that's sad. It's sad for anyone of us who is
                held in this
                > kind of bondage. Myself included. I pray that
                someday we may all
                > walk in the light of our Lord.
                >
                > Thanks Alan for sharing. Do you also want to just
                shout from the
                > top of your lungs on certains days? How the Lord
                has saved you,
                > too!!
                >
                > Kat D.
                >
                >
                >
                > -- In exgaydiscussionboard@yahoogroups.com, Alan
                Levering
                > <ncxds2@y...> wrote:
                > > out of my entire church, only a select few know my
                > > testimony, even though I run this ministry. It may
                be
                > > different with men because ever straights can
                easily
                > > ostrasize(sp?) men who are different. I wanted to
                be
                > > able to be accepted by men in the church as just
                > > another man without them pre-judging me and my
                > > actions.
                > > --- katdavies1973@y... <katdavies1973@y...>
                > > wrote:
                > > >
                > > > Hi Everyone,
                > > >
                > > > I am currently at a crossroads. I want
                desperatley
                > > to let others in
                > > > my church know who I am but I fear rejection.
                When
                > > I first became
                > > > a Christian I was not living in the lifestyole
                > > however, looked very
                > > > gay. And a couple of people were quick to
                "convict"
                > > me by saying
                > > > that homosexuality was a sin. Of course, they
                did
                > > not ask about my
                > > > testimony or background. They just wanted to be
                sure
                > > I knew it
                > > > was "unacceptable".
                > > >
                > > > Anyhow, time has passed and I look like an
                average
                > > woman and you
                > > > probably would not guess about my background.
                But
                > > those prior
                > > > experiences have made me gun shy. I am thirsty
                and
                > > hunger for a
                > > > deeper fellowship in the body of Christ - I feel
                > > like I am dying on
                > > > the vine. I want to know, how have others
                > > integrated into their
                > > > heterosexual life and life at church. Do you
                tell
                > > or just wither
                > > > away in silence?
                > > >
                > > >
                > > > Kat D.
                > > >
                > > >
                > > >
                > >
                > >
                > > =====
                > > -- In Him who leads us to the Absolute Truth,
                > > Alan Levering; Founder, NCXDS Ex-Gay Internet
                Ministries
                > >
                > > Web: <http://geocities.com/exgaylinks> |
                Discussion Board:
                > <http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exgaydiscussionboard>
                | Spanish
                > Language Discussion Board:
                http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exgayenespa
                > | "Wounded Heart" Abused Men's Group:
                > <http://groups.yahoo.com/group/woundedheart> | Chat:

                >
                <http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exgaydiscussionboard/chat>
                > > Feel free to link to these pages on your own
                website!!!
                > >
                > >
                > >
                > > _______________________________
                > > Do you Yahoo!?
                > > Declare Yourself - Register online to vote today!
                > > http://vote.yahoo.com
                === Message Truncated ===


                =====
                -- In Him who leads us to the Absolute Truth,
                Alan Levering; Founder, NCXDS Ex-Gay Internet Ministries

                Web: <http://geocities.com/exgaylinks> | Discussion Board: <http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exgaydiscussionboard> | Spanish Language Discussion Board: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exgayenespa | "Wounded Heart" Abused Men's Group: <http://groups.yahoo.com/group/woundedheart> | Chat: <http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exgaydiscussionboard/chat>
                Feel free to link to these pages on your own website!!!

                __________________________________________________
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              • Bethany
                And my thanks goes out to you because I certainly needed it. ~Bethany ... | Spanish Language Discussion
                Message 7 of 18 , Oct 7, 2004
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                  And my thanks goes out to you because I certainly needed it.

                  ~Bethany

                  --- In exgaydiscussionboard@yahoogroups.com, Alan Levering
                  <ncxds2@y...> wrote:
                  > I think that may be exactly why I started this
                  > ministry -- as a healthy way to get it all out. ;-)
                  > --- katdavies1973@y... <katdavies1973@y...>
                  > wrote:
                  > >
                  > > Hmmm, that's sad. It's sad for anyone of us who is
                  > held in this
                  > > kind of bondage. Myself included. I pray that
                  > someday we may all
                  > > walk in the light of our Lord.
                  > >
                  > > Thanks Alan for sharing. Do you also want to just
                  > shout from the
                  > > top of your lungs on certains days? How the Lord
                  > has saved you,
                  > > too!!
                  > >
                  > > Kat D.
                  > >
                  > >
                  > >
                  > > -- In exgaydiscussionboard@yahoogroups.com, Alan
                  > Levering
                  > > <ncxds2@y...> wrote:
                  > > > out of my entire church, only a select few know my
                  > > > testimony, even though I run this ministry. It may
                  > be
                  > > > different with men because ever straights can
                  > easily
                  > > > ostrasize(sp?) men who are different. I wanted to
                  > be
                  > > > able to be accepted by men in the church as just
                  > > > another man without them pre-judging me and my
                  > > > actions.
                  > > > --- katdavies1973@y... <katdavies1973@y...>
                  > > > wrote:
                  > > > >
                  > > > > Hi Everyone,
                  > > > >
                  > > > > I am currently at a crossroads. I want
                  > desperatley
                  > > > to let others in
                  > > > > my church know who I am but I fear rejection.
                  > When
                  > > > I first became
                  > > > > a Christian I was not living in the lifestyole
                  > > > however, looked very
                  > > > > gay. And a couple of people were quick to
                  > "convict"
                  > > > me by saying
                  > > > > that homosexuality was a sin. Of course, they
                  > did
                  > > > not ask about my
                  > > > > testimony or background. They just wanted to be
                  > sure
                  > > > I knew it
                  > > > > was "unacceptable".
                  > > > >
                  > > > > Anyhow, time has passed and I look like an
                  > average
                  > > > woman and you
                  > > > > probably would not guess about my background.
                  > But
                  > > > those prior
                  > > > > experiences have made me gun shy. I am thirsty
                  > and
                  > > > hunger for a
                  > > > > deeper fellowship in the body of Christ - I feel
                  > > > like I am dying on
                  > > > > the vine. I want to know, how have others
                  > > > integrated into their
                  > > > > heterosexual life and life at church. Do you
                  > tell
                  > > > or just wither
                  > > > > away in silence?
                  > > > >
                  > > > >
                  > > > > Kat D.
                  > > > >
                  > > > >
                  > > > >
                  > > >
                  > > >
                  > > > =====
                  > > > -- In Him who leads us to the Absolute Truth,
                  > > > Alan Levering; Founder, NCXDS Ex-Gay Internet
                  > Ministries
                  > > >
                  > > > Web: <http://geocities.com/exgaylinks> |
                  > Discussion Board:
                  > > <http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exgaydiscussionboard>
                  > | Spanish
                  > > Language Discussion Board:
                  > http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exgayenespa
                  > > | "Wounded Heart" Abused Men's Group:
                  > > <http://groups.yahoo.com/group/woundedheart> | Chat:
                  >
                  > >
                  > <http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exgaydiscussionboard/chat>
                  > > > Feel free to link to these pages on your own
                  > website!!!
                  > > >
                  > > >
                  > > >
                  > > > _______________________________
                  > > > Do you Yahoo!?
                  > > > Declare Yourself - Register online to vote today!
                  > > > http://vote.yahoo.com
                  > === Message Truncated ===
                  >
                  >
                  > =====
                  > -- In Him who leads us to the Absolute Truth,
                  > Alan Levering; Founder, NCXDS Ex-Gay Internet Ministries
                  >
                  > Web: <http://geocities.com/exgaylinks> | Discussion Board:
                  <http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exgaydiscussionboard> | Spanish
                  Language Discussion Board: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exgayenespa
                  | "Wounded Heart" Abused Men's Group:
                  <http://groups.yahoo.com/group/woundedheart> | Chat:
                  <http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exgaydiscussionboard/chat>
                  > Feel free to link to these pages on your own website!!!
                  >
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                • Henry B
                  Hi Kat and everyone, I have shared my story with quite a few people in our church. They have been very accepting and encouraging. I was terrified at first,
                  Message 8 of 18 , Oct 7, 2004
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                    Hi Kat and everyone,

                    I have shared my story with quite a few people in our church. They
                    have been very accepting and encouraging. I was terrified at first,
                    thinking that I would be rejected and ostracized. But everyone was
                    very understanding and accepting. I shared my general testimony,
                    but did not get into TOOOO many details. Almost every time I shared
                    with an individual or couple they in turn responded with sharing
                    some deep dark secret from their past.

                    The people I picked to talk to were those that I thought from the
                    beginning would be "safe". I based my criteria on their level of
                    maturity in Christ as well as their comfort level in talking to
                    people "in the world". These people tended to focus more on God's
                    grace instead of pointing out everyones sins. Many times you can gauge
                    how they will react by how they talk about other peoples sins or
                    topics like divorce.

                    There are several people in our church that are very legalistic. These
                    are not on the top of my list to share with.

                    This has opened doors of communication with some. Two men ended up
                    telling me that they have a gay son or daughter that are still in the
                    lifestyle. They now have more hope in praying for them.

                    My pastor, a staunch supporter, has asked me to share my testimony
                    in front of the whole church. For that I am not as yet ready. Since
                    my family is still in the dark. He also has hopes that in the future
                    there will be an ex-gay or pfox type ministry in our church.

                    On a positive note I was recently asked to share my testimony at
                    another church here in my state. The topic is homosexuality and coming
                    out of it, so the audience will be primed for my sharing. This will
                    be my first public opportunity to give my testimony outside of one on
                    one situations. I am somewhat terrified, but I know God wants me to
                    share. This is in 2 weeks. YEEEK! You can keep me in prayer for that.

                    Being in New England (USA) probably makes it easier to open up since
                    people here are more open about their sexual orientation than maybe
                    in the South. Also I live less than an hour from Massachusetts
                    (The Gay Marrriage State) so the topic has been on everyones lips
                    for the past year or so. I guess that might be the only positive
                    to gay marriage. ;-) The church is looking for answers to the gay
                    issue.


                    Henry B.

                    Along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn
                    the darkness into light before them and make the
                    rough places smooth. These are the things I will
                    do; I will not forsake them. Is. 42:16



                    > <want2bfree1974@y...> wrote:
                    > > Hi,
                    > > I don't know the right answer - should we, shouldn't
                    > > we tell those at church, but I think a good thought
                    > > is, if you feel it's important to do so, I think you
                    > > should, HOWEVER, in light of your fears, just be
                    > very
                    > > choosey about who you tell. Not everyone needs to
                    > > know and its not neccasarily healthy for everyone to
                    > > know. And that's true for ANY struggle not just
                    > > homosexuality.
                    > > I understand that struggling with homosexuality is a
                    > > major part of who we are, but it's not the only
                    > thing
                    > > we are, so again everyone knowing about our
                    > struggles
                    > > isn't always helpful.
                    > > I don't know if that's helpful to you or not, but
                    > I'll
                    > > pray for wisdom for you in who to tell and when to
                    > > tell, and that they will recieve it in a way that is
                    > > encouraging to you.
                    > >
                  • Henry B
                    One more thought. A local Christian radio station recently hired a new late evening DJ. She was a lesbian. She shares about coming out of the lifestyle almost
                    Message 9 of 18 , Oct 7, 2004
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                      One more thought.

                      A local Christian radio station recently hired a new late evening DJ.
                      She was a lesbian. She shares about coming out of the lifestyle almost
                      every time I hear her. It surprised me at first. This station is VERY
                      conservative. They usually play older music, hymns, gospel, quartets
                      and some easy listening type Christian music. They do air many
                      excellent programs (like Focus on the Family) in between the
                      conservative music. So this ladies testimony seems a bit out of
                      place.

                      God is placing a beacon of light and hope to give people hope even in
                      this type of atmosphere.

                      May we also shine in the place where He has planted us.


                      Henry

                      Along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn
                      the darkness into light before them and make the
                      rough places smooth. These are the things I will
                      do; I will not forsake them. Is. 42:16







                      --- In exgaydiscussionboard@yahoogroups.com, Alan Levering
                      <ncxds2@y...> wrote:
                      > I think that may be exactly why I started this
                      > ministry -- as a healthy way to get it all out. ;-)
                    • Katherine Davies
                      Thank you, everyone who shared on this topic. There are many perspectives and experiences. I am taking into consideraton what has been printed here and
                      Message 10 of 18 , Oct 7, 2004
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                        Thank you, everyone who shared on this topic. There are many
                        perspectives and experiences. I am taking into consideraton what
                        has been printed here and hope to incorporate what is positive into
                        my own experience.

                        Kat









                        --- In exgaydiscussionboard@yahoogroups.com, "Henry B"
                        <borych2003@y...> wrote:
                        >
                        > Hi Kat and everyone,
                        >
                        > I have shared my story with quite a few people in our church. They
                        > have been very accepting and encouraging. I was terrified at first,
                        > thinking that I would be rejected and ostracized. But everyone was
                        > very understanding and accepting. I shared my general testimony,
                        > but did not get into TOOOO many details. Almost every time I
                        shared
                        > with an individual or couple they in turn responded with sharing
                        > some deep dark secret from their past.
                        >
                        > The people I picked to talk to were those that I thought from the
                        > beginning would be "safe". I based my criteria on their level of
                        > maturity in Christ as well as their comfort level in talking to
                        > people "in the world". These people tended to focus more on God's
                        > grace instead of pointing out everyones sins. Many times you can
                        gauge
                        > how they will react by how they talk about other peoples sins or
                        > topics like divorce.
                        >
                        > There are several people in our church that are very legalistic.
                        These
                        > are not on the top of my list to share with.
                        >
                        > This has opened doors of communication with some. Two men ended up
                        > telling me that they have a gay son or daughter that are still in
                        the
                        > lifestyle. They now have more hope in praying for them.
                        >
                        > My pastor, a staunch supporter, has asked me to share my testimony
                        > in front of the whole church. For that I am not as yet ready. Since
                        > my family is still in the dark. He also has hopes that in the
                        future
                        > there will be an ex-gay or pfox type ministry in our church.
                        >
                        > On a positive note I was recently asked to share my testimony at
                        > another church here in my state. The topic is homosexuality and
                        coming
                        > out of it, so the audience will be primed for my sharing. This will
                        > be my first public opportunity to give my testimony outside of one
                        on
                        > one situations. I am somewhat terrified, but I know God wants me
                        to
                        > share. This is in 2 weeks. YEEEK! You can keep me in prayer for
                        that.
                        >
                        > Being in New England (USA) probably makes it easier to open up
                        since
                        > people here are more open about their sexual orientation than
                        maybe
                        > in the South. Also I live less than an hour from Massachusetts
                        > (The Gay Marrriage State) so the topic has been on everyones lips
                        > for the past year or so. I guess that might be the only positive
                        > to gay marriage. ;-) The church is looking for answers to the gay
                        > issue.
                        >
                        >
                        > Henry B.
                        >
                        > Along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn
                        > the darkness into light before them and make the
                        > rough places smooth. These are the things I will
                        > do; I will not forsake them. Is. 42:16
                        >
                        >
                        >
                        > > <want2bfree1974@y...> wrote:
                        > > > Hi,
                        > > > I don't know the right answer - should we, shouldn't
                        > > > we tell those at church, but I think a good thought
                        > > > is, if you feel it's important to do so, I think you
                        > > > should, HOWEVER, in light of your fears, just be
                        > > very
                        > > > choosey about who you tell. Not everyone needs to
                        > > > know and its not neccasarily healthy for everyone to
                        > > > know. And that's true for ANY struggle not just
                        > > > homosexuality.
                        > > > I understand that struggling with homosexuality is a
                        > > > major part of who we are, but it's not the only
                        > > thing
                        > > > we are, so again everyone knowing about our
                        > > struggles
                        > > > isn't always helpful.
                        > > > I don't know if that's helpful to you or not, but
                        > > I'll
                        > > > pray for wisdom for you in who to tell and when to
                        > > > tell, and that they will recieve it in a way that is
                        > > > encouraging to you.
                        > > >
                      • Judith Stevens
                        I would like to have your response to some of these topics. how are you? I am worried about you haven t heard from you at all lately. what happened? Judith ...
                        Message 11 of 18 , Oct 8, 2004
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                          I would like to have your response to some of these
                          topics. how are you? I am worried about you haven't
                          heard from you at all lately. what happened?

                          Judith
                          --- Alan Levering <ncxds2@...> wrote:

                          > I think that may be exactly why I started this
                          > ministry -- as a healthy way to get it all out. ;-)
                          > --- katdavies1973@...
                          > <katdavies1973@...>
                          > wrote:
                          > >
                          > > Hmmm, that's sad. It's sad for anyone of us who
                          > is
                          > held in this
                          > > kind of bondage. Myself included. I pray that
                          > someday we may all
                          > > walk in the light of our Lord.
                          > >
                          > > Thanks Alan for sharing. Do you also want to
                          > just
                          > shout from the
                          > > top of your lungs on certains days? How the Lord
                          > has saved you,
                          > > too!!
                          > >
                          > > Kat D.
                          > >
                          > >
                          > >
                          > > -- In exgaydiscussionboard@yahoogroups.com, Alan
                          > Levering
                          > > <ncxds2@y...> wrote:
                          > > > out of my entire church, only a select few know
                          > my
                          > > > testimony, even though I run this ministry. It
                          > may
                          > be
                          > > > different with men because ever straights can
                          > easily
                          > > > ostrasize(sp?) men who are different. I wanted
                          > to
                          > be
                          > > > able to be accepted by men in the church as just
                          > > > another man without them pre-judging me and my
                          > > > actions.
                          > > > --- katdavies1973@y... <katdavies1973@y...>
                          > > > wrote:
                          > > > >
                          > > > > Hi Everyone,
                          > > > >
                          > > > > I am currently at a crossroads. I want
                          > desperatley
                          > > > to let others in
                          > > > > my church know who I am but I fear rejection.
                          >
                          > When
                          > > > I first became
                          > > > > a Christian I was not living in the lifestyole
                          > > > however, looked very
                          > > > > gay. And a couple of people were quick to
                          > "convict"
                          > > > me by saying
                          > > > > that homosexuality was a sin. Of course, they
                          > did
                          > > > not ask about my
                          > > > > testimony or background. They just wanted to
                          > be
                          > sure
                          > > > I knew it
                          > > > > was "unacceptable".
                          > > > >
                          > > > > Anyhow, time has passed and I look like an
                          > average
                          > > > woman and you
                          > > > > probably would not guess about my background.
                          >
                          > But
                          > > > those prior
                          > > > > experiences have made me gun shy. I am
                          > thirsty
                          > and
                          > > > hunger for a
                          > > > > deeper fellowship in the body of Christ - I
                          > feel
                          > > > like I am dying on
                          > > > > the vine. I want to know, how have others
                          > > > integrated into their
                          > > > > heterosexual life and life at church. Do you
                          > tell
                          > > > or just wither
                          > > > > away in silence?
                          > > > >
                          > > > >
                          > > > > Kat D.
                          > > > >
                          > > > >
                          > > > >
                          > > >
                          > > >
                          > > > =====
                          > > > -- In Him who leads us to the Absolute Truth,
                          > > > Alan Levering; Founder, NCXDS Ex-Gay Internet
                          > Ministries
                          > > >
                          > > > Web: <http://geocities.com/exgaylinks> |
                          > Discussion Board:
                          > >
                          > <http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exgaydiscussionboard>
                          > | Spanish
                          > > Language Discussion Board:
                          > http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exgayenespa
                          > > | "Wounded Heart" Abused Men's Group:
                          > > <http://groups.yahoo.com/group/woundedheart> |
                          > Chat:
                          >
                          > >
                          >
                          <http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exgaydiscussionboard/chat>
                          > > > Feel free to link to these pages on your own
                          > website!!!
                          > > >
                          > > >
                          > > >
                          > > > _______________________________
                          > > > Do you Yahoo!?
                          > > > Declare Yourself - Register online to vote
                          > today!
                          > > > http://vote.yahoo.com
                          > === Message Truncated ===
                          >
                          >
                          > =====
                          > -- In Him who leads us to the Absolute Truth,
                          > Alan Levering; Founder, NCXDS Ex-Gay Internet
                          > Ministries
                          >
                          > Web: <http://geocities.com/exgaylinks> | Discussion
                          > Board:
                          > <http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exgaydiscussionboard>
                          > | Spanish Language Discussion Board:
                          > http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exgayenespa | "Wounded
                          > Heart" Abused Men's Group:
                          > <http://groups.yahoo.com/group/woundedheart> | Chat:
                          >
                          <http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exgaydiscussionboard/chat>
                          > Feel free to link to these pages on your own
                          > website!!!
                          >
                          > __________________________________________________
                          > Do You Yahoo!?
                          > Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam
                          > protection around
                          > http://mail.yahoo.com
                          >




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                        • Alan Levering
                          are you asking me or tom? ... ;-) ... who ... Lord ... know ... just ... rejection. ... lifestyole ... they ... background. ... === Message Truncated === =====
                          Message 12 of 18 , Oct 11, 2004
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                            are you asking me or tom?
                            --- judith9086@... <judith9086@...> wrote:
                            > I would like to have your response to some of these
                            > topics. how are you? I am worried about you haven't
                            > heard from you at all lately. what happened?
                            >
                            > Judith
                            > --- Alan Levering <ncxds2@...> wrote:
                            >
                            > > I think that may be exactly why I started this
                            > > ministry -- as a healthy way to get it all out.
                            ;-)
                            > > --- katdavies1973@...
                            > > <katdavies1973@...>
                            > > wrote:
                            > > >
                            > > > Hmmm, that's sad. It's sad for anyone of us
                            who
                            > > is
                            > > held in this
                            > > > kind of bondage. Myself included. I pray that
                            > > someday we may all
                            > > > walk in the light of our Lord.
                            > > >
                            > > > Thanks Alan for sharing. Do you also want to
                            > > just
                            > > shout from the
                            > > > top of your lungs on certains days? How the
                            Lord
                            > > has saved you,
                            > > > too!!
                            > > >
                            > > > Kat D.
                            > > >
                            > > >
                            > > >
                            > > > -- In exgaydiscussionboard@yahoogroups.com, Alan
                            > > Levering
                            > > > <ncxds2@y...> wrote:
                            > > > > out of my entire church, only a select few
                            know
                            > > my
                            > > > > testimony, even though I run this ministry. It
                            > > may
                            > > be
                            > > > > different with men because ever straights can
                            > > easily
                            > > > > ostrasize(sp?) men who are different. I wanted
                            > > to
                            > > be
                            > > > > able to be accepted by men in the church as
                            just
                            > > > > another man without them pre-judging me and my
                            > > > > actions.
                            > > > > --- katdavies1973@y... <katdavies1973@y...>
                            > > > > wrote:
                            > > > > >
                            > > > > > Hi Everyone,
                            > > > > >
                            > > > > > I am currently at a crossroads. I want
                            > > desperatley
                            > > > > to let others in
                            > > > > > my church know who I am but I fear
                            rejection.
                            > >
                            > > When
                            > > > > I first became
                            > > > > > a Christian I was not living in the
                            lifestyole
                            > > > > however, looked very
                            > > > > > gay. And a couple of people were quick to
                            > > "convict"
                            > > > > me by saying
                            > > > > > that homosexuality was a sin. Of course,
                            they
                            > > did
                            > > > > not ask about my
                            > > > > > testimony or background. They just wanted to
                            > > be
                            > > sure
                            > > > > I knew it
                            > > > > > was "unacceptable".
                            > > > > >
                            > > > > > Anyhow, time has passed and I look like an
                            > > average
                            > > > > woman and you
                            > > > > > probably would not guess about my
                            background.
                            > >
                            > > But
                            > > > > those prior
                            === Message Truncated ===


                            =====
                            -- In Him who leads us to the Absolute Truth,
                            Alan Levering; Founder, NCXDS Ex-Gay Internet Ministries

                            Web: <http://geocities.com/exgaylinks> | Discussion Board: <http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exgaydiscussionboard> | Spanish Language Discussion Board: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exgayenespa | "Wounded Heart" Abused Men's Group: <http://groups.yahoo.com/group/woundedheart> | Chat: <http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exgaydiscussionboard/chat>
                            Feel free to link to these pages on your own website!!!



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                          • Judith Stevens
                            It was or is addressed to tom M. Sorry for the confusion. Judith ... ...
                            Message 13 of 18 , Oct 11, 2004
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                              It was or is addressed to tom M.

                              Sorry for the confusion.


                              Judith
                              --- Alan Levering <ncxds2@...> wrote:

                              > are you asking me or tom?
                              > --- judith9086@... <judith9086@...>
                              > wrote:
                              > > I would like to have your response to some of
                              > these
                              > > topics. how are you? I am worried about you
                              > haven't
                              > > heard from you at all lately. what happened?
                              > >
                              > > Judith
                              > > --- Alan Levering <ncxds2@...> wrote:
                              > >
                              > > > I think that may be exactly why I started this
                              > > > ministry -- as a healthy way to get it all out.
                              > ;-)
                              > > > --- katdavies1973@...
                              > > > <katdavies1973@...>
                              > > > wrote:
                              > > > >
                              > > > > Hmmm, that's sad. It's sad for anyone of us
                              > who
                              > > > is
                              > > > held in this
                              > > > > kind of bondage. Myself included. I pray
                              > that
                              > > > someday we may all
                              > > > > walk in the light of our Lord.
                              > > > >
                              > > > > Thanks Alan for sharing. Do you also want to
                              > > > just
                              > > > shout from the
                              > > > > top of your lungs on certains days? How the
                              > Lord
                              > > > has saved you,
                              > > > > too!!
                              > > > >
                              > > > > Kat D.
                              > > > >
                              > > > >
                              > > > >
                              > > > > -- In exgaydiscussionboard@yahoogroups.com,
                              > Alan
                              > > > Levering
                              > > > > <ncxds2@y...> wrote:
                              > > > > > out of my entire church, only a select few
                              > know
                              > > > my
                              > > > > > testimony, even though I run this ministry.
                              > It
                              > > > may
                              > > > be
                              > > > > > different with men because ever straights
                              > can
                              > > > easily
                              > > > > > ostrasize(sp?) men who are different. I
                              > wanted
                              > > > to
                              > > > be
                              > > > > > able to be accepted by men in the church as
                              > just
                              > > > > > another man without them pre-judging me and
                              > my
                              > > > > > actions.
                              > > > > > --- katdavies1973@y... <katdavies1973@y...>
                              > > > > > wrote:
                              > > > > > >
                              > > > > > > Hi Everyone,
                              > > > > > >
                              > > > > > > I am currently at a crossroads. I want
                              > > > desperatley
                              > > > > > to let others in
                              > > > > > > my church know who I am but I fear
                              > rejection.
                              > > >
                              > > > When
                              > > > > > I first became
                              > > > > > > a Christian I was not living in the
                              > lifestyole
                              > > > > > however, looked very
                              > > > > > > gay. And a couple of people were quick to
                              > > > "convict"
                              > > > > > me by saying
                              > > > > > > that homosexuality was a sin. Of course,
                              > they
                              > > > did
                              > > > > > not ask about my
                              > > > > > > testimony or background. They just wanted
                              > to
                              > > > be
                              > > > sure
                              > > > > > I knew it
                              > > > > > > was "unacceptable".
                              > > > > > >
                              > > > > > > Anyhow, time has passed and I look like
                              > an
                              > > > average
                              > > > > > woman and you
                              > > > > > > probably would not guess about my
                              > background.
                              > > >
                              > > > But
                              > > > > > those prior
                              > === Message Truncated ===
                              >
                              >
                              > =====
                              > -- In Him who leads us to the Absolute Truth,
                              > Alan Levering; Founder, NCXDS Ex-Gay Internet
                              > Ministries
                              >
                              > Web: <http://geocities.com/exgaylinks> | Discussion
                              > Board:
                              > <http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exgaydiscussionboard>
                              > | Spanish Language Discussion Board:
                              > http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exgayenespa | "Wounded
                              > Heart" Abused Men's Group:
                              > <http://groups.yahoo.com/group/woundedheart> | Chat:
                              >
                              <http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exgaydiscussionboard/chat>
                              > Feel free to link to these pages on your own
                              > website!!!
                              >
                              >
                              >
                              > __________________________________
                              > Do you Yahoo!?
                              > Yahoo! Mail Address AutoComplete - You start. We
                              > finish.
                              > http://promotions.yahoo.com/new_mail
                              >




                              __________________________________
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                              Yahoo! Mail Address AutoComplete - You start. We finish.
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                            • Linda
                              Hi Kat, My daughter has just begun going to a church where people are very open about their struggles. I m sure that because of the nonjudgmental atmosphere
                              Message 14 of 18 , Nov 25, 2004
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                                Hi Kat,
                                My daughter has just begun going to a church where people are very open
                                about their struggles. I'm sure that because of the nonjudgmental
                                atmosphere of this church and the love and willingness of others to share in
                                a person's burden, much is gained by sharing. But I really think it depends
                                on the church whether you can be open or not. If you can talk with your
                                pastor first, maybe that would give you some idea of whether it's safe to
                                share with others.
                                Linda
                              • Linda
                                Hi Kat, Is there any way you could share what those qualities are that help determine whether a person will be gracious and noncondemning? Linda
                                Message 15 of 18 , Nov 25, 2004
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                                  Hi Kat,
                                  Is there any way you could share what those qualities are that help
                                  determine whether a person will be gracious and noncondemning?
                                  Linda
                                Your message has been successfully submitted and would be delivered to recipients shortly.