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8345Re: [ExGDBd] Dialogue

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  • Nieuwleven
    Mar 1, 2004
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      Bretheren,

      Thanks, Bridget, for your isights and recommendations. However, it
      must first be said that as Christians, we have to be careful when
      using similar tricks, keeping in mind that we don't believe in
      pictures or other representations of God (Jesus Christ), and this
      suggestion may be misinterpreted by certain groups of people
      worshiping images or other physical representations of godly issues
      as a kind of approval to their beliefs. Remember this is an
      Evangelical Protestant Christian Board, with an ecumenical openess,
      as long as the basic Biblical principles & doctrines are respected.

      Secondly, such a naive approach to slavery to sin may be
      misunderstood, like if it was so easy to get over. Actually, sexual
      addiction must be handled as such. Porn (particularly internet porn)
      is an addictive behaviour that is normally showing how deep is the
      need of restoration & healing. This has an impact in other's life
      (quality time with spouse, quality time with children), as it is not
      true intimacy. Porn is giving a wrong "role model" to any of us, and
      fueling the fantasy world many of us has created as a zone of confort
      or security to face pain or daily struggles. Addiction to porn is
      indeed one of the most well kept secrets in life (certainly in
      Churches). As any addiction, it needs to be acknowledged, and handled
      as such. Specific Christian ministries are dealing with this
      particular issue, like http://www.settingcaptivesfree.com (Course
      Pure Freedom), or http://www.desertstream.org (The SALT course for
      sexual addicts).

      When the addiction is acknowledged, this has to be understood as a
      cycle. Addiction or addictive behaviours are coming to our lifes as
      cycles. Komiskey says in some of his books, that people may consider
      healing happened when they have not been comiting a specific sin for
      days, weeks, months or even years; however, this does not guarantee a
      non failure in the future, because cycles may have A LOT of time in
      between. So the one that thinks to be strong, BE CAREFUL :-) this is
      the key message: we have to be ready to break the cycles when they
      are still possible to be broken.

      How to do so? Well, Craig Lockwood in his book Falling Forward gives
      very good insights, like having a battle plan, first of all,
      identifying trigger events ... those things that normally push us to
      seek the zone of comfort/security of sin; identify the temptation,
      and DO SOMETHING like FLEE, PRACTICE THE PRESENCE OF THE LORD, CALL
      AN ACCOUNTABILITY PARTNER, and of course, RESIST WITH ALL YOUR
      FORCES :-) I know that the last one is the most often used, and the
      less effective :-)

      Of course, porn is not the only addiction. These principles apply to
      cruising, to engaging in anonymous sex, to overeating, to smoking, to
      telling lies, to gossiping, to masturbation, to visiting sex shops,
      to internet chat, to sex phone calls, to frequenting prostitutes, SM
      sex ... name it. Just to give some exaples :-)

      What really works for me is to have accountability with a good friend
      of mine, this is in a daily basis; added to a weekly meeting with my
      accountability partner in Church; added to the Living Waters and SALT
      support groups. I know that any addiction can't be fought ALONE and I
      DO NEED THE BODY OF CHRIST in order to be strong and not fail. God is
      providing tools for the Body to be a healer. My personal experience
      has been first through the Church, then through Internet (the Door of
      Hope Course at Setting Captives Free), then THIS BOARD and the
      fellowship of believers from all over the world, then the contact
      with co-strugglers through the True Freedom Trust Ministry, and now
      the Desert Stream Ministries ...

      BTW, It is amazing that by now, I have not had any sexual intercourse
      for almost 1.5 years or more :-) This does not mean that I am healed
      or 100% free. This only means that BY GRACE I was allowed not to fail
      despite the struggles and the daily temptations. I acknowledge the
      need of accountability and the benefitial effect of engaging to the
      Living Waters & Salt programmes. Sharing with other people gives me
      strenght. However, I am aware of the fact that I am coming out from
      sexual addiction and that have to be careful in order not to fall
      again.

      Hope this make sense to you, and hope this bless you as well.

      Armand
      http://timesofrefreshing.ya.st



      --- In exgaydiscussionboard@yahoogroups.com, "Bridget Night"
      <BridgetNight123@h...> wrote:
      > On my way to church this morning I was listening to a Christian
      talk being given on my radio. The pastor talked about a member of his
      church who had a problem with watching porn on the net. The pastor
      had him tape a small picture of Jesus at the bottom corner of his
      computer screen and asked him if he could watch porn and watch the
      picture of Jesus at the same time. It apparently did the trick. I
      thought it was a good idea.
      >
      > Bridget
      > ----- Original Message -----
      > From: Tone
      > To: exgaydiscussionboard@yahoogroups.com
      > Sent: Sunday, February 29, 2004 2:57 AM
      > Subject: [ExGDBd] Dialogue
      >
      >
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