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23570Re: Another Serious Blow

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  • ctickle777
    Mar 11, 2009
      Hi Troy,

      I read your post last week and have been praying for you. I wish there were words to express my sorrow over your situation - just know that my heart aches alongside yours regarding your wife, family, and daughter. I can honestly say that I believe your daughter will learn the truth and I do believe the negative persuasion of your wife will eventually come back to bite her. I read a couple of research studies last semester about this very issue: when parents separate and one parent tries to destroy the other parent's credibility with their children; statistics show that when the child matures that child is typically very bitter and angry with the verbally-manipulative parent. I wanted to share this with you today because in most cases, one of the study illustrates a positive change in the children. In other words, the child who is made to feel "torn" eventually sees, understands, and dislikes what the "malicious" parent is doing and rebels against it. My cousin had a similar experience with her parents - her mother convinced her very early on that her father was worthless and negligent. My cousin eventually became extremely resentful of her mother and now as an adult, she has a wonderful relationship with her Dad.

      I also think your wife is teaching your children to act and think like Pharisees - and there is great injury in that type of false "Christianity." I grew up with that same mentality and am thrilled to be free from that type of thinking. I now recognize that sin is sin and legalism is a hindrance to experiencing God's true freedom and joy in Christ. I will pray that both your wife and children learn these truths and that God will reveal Himself to them as well as teach them about same-sex attraction.

      I pray you lean and depend completely on Christ to continue to unconditionally love your children during this trying time. I have a daughter the same age as yours and she is very immature in many ways, particularly since her hormones are beginning to show the signs of adolescence (yikes). :) I don't think our girls can process certain things yet, but give her time. I believe she will have a dramatic change of heart if you continue to love and care for her over time. Just continue being present in her life and try not to take her words and actions to heart. I know that is easier said than done, but I do believe that God sees, feels, and shares your pain; and, He has the power and will to heal your relationship in time.

      May God richly bless you and keep you.

      In Christ,
      Christa

      --- In exgaydiscussionboard@yahoogroups.com, "Ralph" <ralphpuccini@...> wrote:
      >
      > Troy,
      >
      > You weren't hit with a dart - you were shot at point blank range with a 12-gauge shotgun! There's no telling what kind of emotional damage your daughter (and perhaps the rest of your children) will suffer over these next few years.
      >
      > Please know I (and probably the rest of the members here) wish I could reach out and give you one big bear hug - but since I cannot, I pray that our Heavenly Father, and our brother, Jesus, will do it in our absence.
      >
      > Ralph
      >
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