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15278Re: A remarkable success story

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  • friendofnsf
    Jul 1 12:30 PM
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      Wow, Niels, if you are reading, please know that your story is remarkable and
      you serve as an inspiration to ex-gays, future ex-gays and "everstraights" like
      me who have not had to give up a fraction of what you have for the cause of
      Christ! I WAS very saddened for the pain that you have endured. Please know
      that our Lord has collected all your tears in a bottle and is here to give you the
      love that you should have gotten from a earthly father but did not. Blessings to
      you on your journey.

      --- In exgaydiscussionboard@yahoogroups.com, "Bridget Night" <
      BridgetNight123@h...> wrote:
      > This is the story from a young man in Denmark who read my book-read and
      > Bridget
      > Sent: Friday, July 01, 2005 6:20 AM
      > Subject: [ex-gay] Sharing my story...Change is possible!
      > Hello all here in the exgay-group.I´m a 36 yo man fron Denmark. I´m new
      here and I want to introduce myself by sharing my story of how I came to know
      that change is possible:
      > In the begining of April, I met two Christian missionaries in the street. I didn´t
      have time to talk to them but they gave me a card so I could find more
      information on the internet. I did find more information about their church and
      their faith and I thought it was beautifull. But for someone who has always
      identifed myself as a gay man I wanted to know what the church was thinking
      of gays. I couldn´t not find much on the official church-websites so I found
      some Christian gay groups and joined and asked them questions about how
      they felt about the church...well the answers I got were not excacty
      > encouraging!
      > A turning point was 8 weeks ago when one of the guys in the group told
      Bridget Night about me and that I was asking questions about the church and
      their opinions of gays.I was contacted by Bridget Night, the Author of "Prayers
      for Johnathan"...for those of you who don´t know her book...It´s a mother´s
      quest to understand her son´s ssa. For two years she corresponded with a 20
      yo gayactivist from Denmark.What a remarkable story showing both sides of
      this issue.
      > By reading her book I learned that I did not choose to be attracted to other
      men and that I didn´t have to accept it as part of who I was, as I have always
      been told, but most importantly I recognized that I was right about suspecting
      what caused my ssa.The excerpts from Richard cohens book "Coming out
      straight" hit me like a truck. Let me tell you why by telling you a
      > little of how i grew up:
      > I can´t remember much about my natural father....But I remember I was
      unapropriately closely attached to my mother.At 5 my mother taught me how it
      was to have sex with a woman(her) I thought it was disgusting and I knew it
      was wrong in some way. When I was 6 they divorced and my mother
      remarried...a monster of stepfather who both physically and sexaully abused
      me and my sisters.At 8 I was placed in a fosterhome...I was lucky to get
      away!!! I was a depressed boy with suicidal thoughts and I have never fully
      recovered. I overate and became quite fat...I was harrased by peers in school
      and at twelve I got an eating disorder. My fosterparents tryed to help me and
      got me counseling, but I didn´t benefit from it. At 13 I had my first sexual
      experiences with girls. At 14 I fell in love with a boy...I thought it was very
      strange and I went to the library and asked if they had any books about two
      boys loving eachother. They did. I was so ashamed to learn about these
      things and these people that I recognized myself as.(well what if i had been
      giving a more balanced account of my feelings at this time of my life...that I
      had also been giving books teaching me that I didn´t have to be gay well my
      life may have looked a little diffenrent). I became anorectic and was admitted
      to a youth mental hospital for 7 month.
      > When I was 15 I left my fosterparents they would not accept my gay
      orientation...and lived at a with a friend. I was introduced to hustling and lived
      3 years in the Capitol ( Copenhagen), degrading myself by having sex with
      thousands of men and using alcohol and every drug available to stop my
      pain.....during all this time I was sure that there was no god and if there was,
      he had completely abandoned me. When I got 18 I finally got some qualified
      help....I moved back to jylland and spent the next 3 years crying my heart out
      with various therapists in order to heal, and took gymnsium(similiar to
      highschool I guess)diploma, that qualified me for university. At 23 I began to
      study medicine at the universty. It was very hard and tough...and I still suffered
      from an eating disorder.(bulimia) I had 2 periods of severe depressions, but
      miracously fought my way through medical school despite of my problems.
      During this times I accepted and embraced the gay lifestyle. I had many
      relationsships with guys, but they never lasted long and I was very
      promiscous. I sometimes thought I had a sexual compulsive disorder,
      because my number of partners were astronomical.
      > I also had some experiences vith women, but I never seemed to be able to
      fall in love with any of them. At 30 I began my turnus(I think it´s called
      internships or residencies in USA) but after 7 month I was burned out by the
      stressfull life of a young doctor...working between 70 and 120 hours every
      week. I got addicted to morphine in order to cope and selfmedicate my
      growing depression. One day I simply gave up my turnus. I tried to find some
      jobs which was easy because of need for doctors in rural areas. But my
      addictionproblem got worse...I began to buy heroine. I finally realized I had hit
      rock bottom....I got help...minnesota-treatment and a 12 step-program. I
      remember turning my life over to god and the responses I got was awsome!!! I
      changed my sexual behaviour and has been celibate for more than four years
      now. I have come a long way in my recovery proces, but I have now learned
      that there is more I can do to heal profoundly.
      > Bridget Night´s book was so hard for me to read. I felt so deceived by
      reading Soren´s letters to her. I have to admit I had bought all these lies
      myself at different times in my life. I was also somewhat thrown at many of her
      statements in the book, but I began to see that they afterall were more mature
      and reasonable than the staments made by the young gay man.
      > Bridget and I began to correspond via emails and we talked on the phone
      and as we got to know each other better our love and respect for each other
      grew. I think she was in shock and maybe still is to know my very unsusual
      > During all of this I contacted the missionaries I had met and told them that I
      had begun to read the scriptures, and that I had been investigating almost
      every aspect of this religion I could think of and that I had a ssa problem....do
      you think this young missionary was a bit overwhelmed?. Well I know now
      that this church is right for me. I feel a calmness and serenity I have not been
      > able to find all my life. I now attend church every sunday and has begun
      living the gospel. I have even given up cigarettes and coffee.
      > I know now that I have a heterosexual potential and like my growing faith it´s
      needs to be nurtured. It still scares me to recognize that I am attracted to
      women, since I allways tried to repress this because I wanted to hold on to my
      gay identity.I now know that god had other plans for my life.
      > Meeting Bridget Night and getting to know some guys who have also
      decided to try to work and heal from homosexuality has sparked a remarkable
      journey of selfdiscovery. You can not even begin to know how her supportive
      mails and phone calls have helped me. I wish there was more like her in this
      world. Kindess and understanding works better condemnation and calling
      people to repentance.
      > If someone at new year told me I would be changing my view and beliefs
      and sexual identity this dramatically in just 3 month, I would have said they
      were insane and had laughed my head off. Well I´m more humble now that
      the holy spirit is yet again with me. And I think my future looks brighter than
      > I ever were able to imagine.
      > Niels from Denmark
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