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14918Re: [ExGDBd] "S.S.A"---A easy way out?

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  • Alan Levering
    Jun 6, 2005
      If he is willing, I trust your judgement.



      --- John <tygrjohn02@...> wrote:

      > Richard:
      >
      > Ban you..........I know you may be serious buddy, but you have me falling off the chair in
      > laughter...c'mon friend why on earth would you be "banned"??? In case you didn't get a good
      > look around here, I think you will find a couple of sinners still in the group, myself
      > included. I KNOW there are others here that walk a better walk than I do, even with their
      > personal "challenges".
      >
      > Let's try and find you a secure place.....any of us would help you...I will personally if
      > you wish, try to find you a church and if you wish some counseling near you that is
      > trustworthy and grounded.
      >
      > To Alan: If you need help let me know I will help in any way finding Richard a secure and
      > compassionate place I will do whatever I can....John
      >
      >
      > Alan Levering <ncxds2@...> wrote:
      > E-mail me privately. Prhaps the mod team can give you guidance on finding a new place of
      > worship.
      >
      > -- Alan
      >
      >
      > --- Richard <rtz3@...> wrote:
      >
      > > I want to thank everyone for their replies. I have to say that this
      > > has been boiling in me for several months. I have kept it inside and
      > > told noone the extent of the hurt and shame I felt the whole time. I
      > > did "walk" the night this relative make the gay gesture at me, and
      > > didnt look back. I was feeling overwhelming shame and intense
      > > paranoia already, and all this did was plummage me from the church
      > > body all together. While at the church I was having flashes as a
      > > child, and I'm not sure why. It was all very weird. Everything that
      > > happened, managed to sabatoge my walk in Christ, and I have not been
      > > in a right mind since then.
      > >
      > >
      > > I have to admit out of my shame and hurt, I over exaggerated on the
      > > ssa part of that posting,and overexaggerated my need for attention.
      > > The fact is the parts about ssa were from my own fact of feeling
      > > completely deflated about my issues with same sex attraction. If it
      > > is choosed for me to be banned from the group, so be it.
      > >
      > > This has caused a big rift in my families, they are very
      > > conservative. They try not to act prejudice, but they are, and have
      > > slipped up and said things to me, and around me on more than one
      > > occasion. I feel like things about me leaked out to family members,
      > > and at the time the way they all were acting did nothing but confirm
      > > that they had been told through one source or another. I left a
      > > journal at the church one day where I was writing down very personal
      > > things, and I feel like it fell into the wrong hands, when i wasnt
      > > around. I will have nothing else to do with church for along while,
      > > hopefully in the future i can move to another town. I just cant
      > > mentally handle it anymore of this junk from people, its too much.
      > >
      > > I have more or less have had this type of thing happened to me with
      > > two other leaders in two other churches I was in, and left because
      > > of the paranoia of not trusting people in leadership in the
      > > churches, but in my mind it was very much verified that it had
      > > leaked out in these places as well.
      > >
      > > I need to you to know, it is not my conscious intent to get pity.
      > > But it more than likely comes accross as pity as i was told at the
      > > church that I more or less try to get pity. I will not reply anymore
      > > to this thread, if you want to talk to me, you will have to email me.
      > >
      > > P.S. There are no safe churches in my area where I could possibly
      > > go, unless i go into a denominational church. The one venture I did
      > > make before I went to the above mentioned church spent way too much
      > > time on condeming homosexuals. Obviously there is a big lack of
      > > understanding in my area to offer hope to people that are struggling
      > > or defeated with same sex issues.
      > >
      > >
      > >
      > >
      >
      >
      > -- In Him who leads us to the Absolute Truth,
      > Alan Levering; Founder, NCXDS Ex-Gay Internet Ministries
      >
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      -- In Him who leads us to the Absolute Truth,
      Alan Levering; Founder, NCXDS Ex-Gay Internet Ministries

      Web: <http://geocities.com/exgaylinks> | Discussion Board: <http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exgaydiscussionboard> | Spanish Language Discussion Board: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exgayenespa | "Wounded Heart" Abused Men's Group: <http://groups.yahoo.com/group/woundedheart> | Chat: <http://groups.yahoo.com/group/exgaydiscussionboard/chat>
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