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Re: [ExExGayMinistry] Re: The non-religious dimension of the ex-gay trip: mas...

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  • Korry Korry
    Well, I am not talking about whether we chose to be gay/same-sex oriented or not. Still, I have to be honest. Yes, I know that there are butch and muscular
    Message 1 of 2 , Nov 12, 2009
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      Well, I am not talking about whether we chose to be gay/same-sex oriented or not. Still, I have to be honest. Yes, I know that there are "butch" and muscular gay men out there; like I said, I once dated a linebacker for a famous American football team, and for those who don't know how imposing a linebacker can be, just go to Google Images and type in the word "linebacker". Still, all things considered, I will never forget the disappointment I experienced when I left home for university studies, and was free to go to bars -- specifically gay bars -- at night. For every one guy who did indeed have a decent body and a "straight-acting" affect, there were about a dozen exceptionally thin, not-muscular-at-all guys with personalities that ranged from precious and slight to bitchy and jaded. In short, just the sort of guys who made feel embarrassed to be gay and made me want to throw-up. Unfortunately, most of the very few guys who exuded a noticeable
      masculinity both in their personalities and bodies ever gave me a second look, much less took me home. Overall, though, I am glad I was so unlucky in getting laid back then, since this was New York in 1981, and at the time, nobody knew that there was a vicious virus going around that would decimate at least half of that area's gay community.
      However, what drove me to consider the ex-gay trip was the fact that I was so frustrated in finding the majority of gay men such a turn-off when it came to fulfilling my longings for love, romance, and sex. Oftentimes, I opted for one-sided, unrequited love affairs with good-looking straight men, which usually resulted in me experiencing major paind and humiliation. It was not just masculinity that turned me on (still does), but a certain quality of innocence. So many gay men I met seemed to smoke, drink, do drugs, have sex with an unlimited number of partners, and carry with them an unpleasantly nasty and bitchy negativity towards life. By contrast, the straight guys I had crushes on had exuded an exuberant innocence.
      So my interest in ex-gayism was because I felt that it would make much more sense to become what I desired, rather than to seek that out in others.



      --- On Thu, 11/12/09, MrChuk@... <MrChuk@...> wrote:

      From: MrChuk@... <MrChuk@...>
      Subject: Re: [ExExGayMinistry] Re: The non-religious dimension of the ex-gay trip: mas...
      To: exexgayministry@yahoogroups.com
      Date: Thursday, November 12, 2009, 2:25 AM
















       









      Does one need outside proof other than one's own experience? For me,

      doesn't matter what the research or others say, I know I didn't choose and I

      am what I am...

      I learned this when I was a student at Bob Jones University years ago...

      "Faith without experience always delves in the realm of doubt"... Once we

      have the experience, anything we are taught that goes contrary to our

      experiences is doubtful, agree?



      It was Walt Whitman who said, "Review everything you've been taught.

      Discard anything that's an insult to our soul . And begin again.". What one

      experiences can't be discarded!!! !



      Chuk





      In a message dated 11/11/2009 10:41:56 P.M. Central Standard Time,

      ad4071@yahoo. com writes:



      Just me, but the only reason I want to know the cause, is so I don't have

      to feel guilt or responsibility for the fact that I became a homosexual. The

      homophobes/haters say we chose to be gay and it's out fault. I still

      insist no one (or nearly no one) makes the intentional choice to be homosexual

      any more than someone choses to be straight.



      Alan



      ____________ _________ _________ __

      From: "_MrChuk@aol. com_ (mailto:MrChuk@...) " <_MrChuk@aol. com_

      (mailto:MrChuk@...) >

      To: _exexgayministry@ exexgayminisexe_

      (mailto:exexgayministry@ yahoogroups. com)

      Sent: Wed, November 11, 2009 6:13:42 PM

      Subject: Re: [ExExGayMinistry] Re: The non-religious dimension of the

      ex-gay trip: masculinity



      .... and besides.. what does it matter about the cause? Even if we knew

      for sure, we'd still be gay or have SSA, wouldn't we?

      So, it's all about acceptance [by ourselves and others] isn't it, not

      etiology?

      Chuk



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