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Re: [ExExGayMinistry] Homosexuaity and sexual abuse. Is there a connection?

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  • MrChuk@aol.com
    I was NOT molested, had a very loving, caring relationship with my father and my mother was not overbearing.? So, those sterotypes do not apply to me.? I have
    Message 1 of 2 , Jun 4, 2009
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      I was NOT molested, had a very loving, caring relationship with my father and my mother was not overbearing.? So, those sterotypes do not apply to me.? I have always been physicall and emotionally attracted to other men.... nothing in my life happened to cause that, I was born that way and there's no blame or fault for anyone.? I do believe that most guys experiment with other guys sexually when very young or teenagers.? Then later, they seem to want an excuse for being "gay" so they try to find some molestation, etc., in their past to help them accept it better, to justify it.

      We are what we are and that won't change if we can pinpoint a reason, right?? We'll still be attracted to other men methinks.

      The minister who authored the book "Tracts of a Fellow Struggler" about the death of his 11 year old daughter made a statement that I think applies to the gay "cause" as well.. Trying to find out "why"?. He said in his search for the "why" his daughter died, he finally found his resting place when he realized that had God written on his walls 1,000 or more times the reason his daughter died, it wouldn't change a thing... she would still be dead and he's still be grieving.? So, he was able to turn the "why" question loose and then he found acceptance and some peace.

      Chuck


      -----Original Message-----
      From: unaHomer <no_reply@yahoogroups.com>
      To: exexgayministry@yahoogroups.com
      Sent: Fri, 29 May 2009 12:39 am
      Subject: [ExExGayMinistry] Homosexuaity and sexual abuse. Is there a connection?








      Hi,

      I am a single man, 49 years old who has struggled with homosexual attractions for about 30 years. I grew up in San Francisco, so I am totally aware of a community that accepts gay men 100%. My question to this group is this:

      How many men who "FEEL" gay were sexually molested by older boys or men whle growing up? I was molested by my father, brother, two babysiters, and a close family friend while growing up. I ended up just thinking, "I must be gay," since all I ever knew as a child was gay sex. At 14 years old, I began seeking homosexual relationships on my own, hoping to fulfill what I already knew as, "Normal Sex."

      I eventually entered the S.F. gay lifestyle totally believing I "MUST" be gay. But as I went through the late 70's and 80's, I realized that about 90% of my gay lovers/friends had also been sexually abused as children. Today, I am earning my Master's Degree in Psychology from the UC at Boulder, and I am interested in knowing how many other guys who consider themselves gay have been molested as kids. Please be kind to me as I am "NOT" sugesting that "ALL" gay men have been sexually abused, I am just interested in understanding the possible relationship between molestation and homosexual orientation.








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