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Re: bad experience

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  • Korry Korry
    ... Yes, that, and it is also a classic example of countertransference, when a therapist ignores the principle of letting the client guide the theraputic
    Message 1 of 8 , Dec 19, 2006
      --- Norm <nojam75@...> wrote:
      > he abruptly
      > steered the conversation to the negative
      > consequences of anal sex
      > which had nothing to do with what we were taking
      > about. In
      > hindsight, it felt like we were searching for some
      > reason for me to
      > be there.

      Yes, that, and it is also a classic example of
      countertransference, when a therapist ignores the
      principle of letting the client guide the theraputic
      process and starts pushing the therapist's own
      unresolved issues onto the client. As someone wrote
      about the Haggard scandal about preachers, in that
      whatever "sin" they are damning at the pulpit on
      Sunday is the very thing they are guilty of at the
      moment, so it goes therapists. Your therapist most
      likely recieved a thorough pounding the night before,
      and was feeling the effects right when he raised the
      issue.

      Korry

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    • Norm
      LOL! Thanks, Korry. I hadn t really thought about that. I ll give my former Christian therapist the benefit of the doubt though. About a year after that
      Message 2 of 8 , Dec 19, 2006
        LOL!

        Thanks, Korry. I hadn't really thought about that. I'll give my
        former Christian therapist the benefit of the doubt though.

        About a year after that experience, I went to a professional non-
        religious therapist. The experience contrasted with the Christian
        therapy. I never felt broadsided or steered (although he did probe
        and poke with his questions when appropriate). While I did have to
        spend more (expensive time) about my beliefs and objectives, I
        thought that was actually more helpful than assuming we had the same
        values.

        - Norm!

        --- In exexgayministry@yahoogroups.com, Korry Korry
        <korrykorrykoan@...> wrote:
        >
        > --- Norm <nojam75@...> wrote:
        > > he abruptly
        > > steered the conversation to the negative
        > > consequences of anal sex
        > > which had nothing to do with what we were taking
        > > about. In
        > > hindsight, it felt like we were searching for some
        > > reason for me to
        > > be there.
        >
        > Yes, that, and it is also a classic example of
        > countertransference, when a therapist ignores the
        > principle of letting the client guide the theraputic
        > process and starts pushing the therapist's own
        > unresolved issues onto the client. As someone wrote
        > about the Haggard scandal about preachers, in that
        > whatever "sin" they are damning at the pulpit on
        > Sunday is the very thing they are guilty of at the
        > moment, so it goes therapists. Your therapist most
        > likely recieved a thorough pounding the night before,
        > and was feeling the effects right when he raised the
        > issue.
        >
        > Korry
        >
      • Stephanie
        Hey there Morgan. I haven t had an experience quite like you have had, but I do have a comment about it. I am a Christian but I don t like to call myself a
        Message 3 of 8 , Dec 20, 2006
          Hey there Morgan. I haven't had an experience quite like you have had,
          but I do have a comment about it. I am a Christian but I don't like to
          call myself a christian because of how I see Christianity portrayed in
          today's church. I know and love God very much, but I don't know the god
          that the church serves. They claim to know Him and serve the one and
          only God but all I see is a bunch of hypocrisy. I'm sorry about your
          experience with the Christian therapist; I want to encourage you to
          seek God on your own and question if you actually do "have issues with
          you gender identity" or if it is just how the church has drilled into
          societies minds what a woman is meant to be and what a man is meant to
          be. Just something to think about.
          Sincerely,
          Amy

          p.s. This is not Steph, this is her friend. If you would like to reply
          my email address is... amym_02@...



          --- In exexgayministry@yahoogroups.com, "morganharefield"
          <morganharefield@...> wrote:
          >
          > I had a really bad experience with a Christian therapist. I went to
          > her for treatment problems from numerous (and I mean numerous) traumas
          > from medical doctors. I dress and act like I have gender issues.
          > She was really "nice" to me for 8 months. Then I told her I have
          > issues with my gender identity. She got verbally abusive, refused to
          > apologize, justified it because its her "spiritual belief." She
          > totally betrayed my trust and did what no psychotherapist should ever
          > do, especially with someone with my history.
          >
          > Has anyone else had an experience like this?
          >
          > (P.S. I've had other unpleasant encounters with "christians". I
          > was a Christian when I went to the therapist. Now I cannot stomach
          > anything to do with Christianity. It really messed up my religion.)
          >
        • Stephanie
          Hey there Morgan. I haven t had an experience quite like you have had, but I do have a comment about it. I am a Christian but I don t like to call myself a
          Message 4 of 8 , Dec 20, 2006
            Hey there Morgan. I haven't had an experience quite like you have had,
            but I do have a comment about it. I am a Christian but I don't like to
            call myself a christian because of how I see Christianity portrayed in
            today's church. I know and love God very much, but I don't know the god
            that the church serves. They claim to know Him and serve the one and
            only God but all I see is a bunch of hypocrisy. I'm sorry about your
            experience with the Christian therapist; I want to encourage you to
            seek God on your own and question if you actually do "have issues with
            you gender identity" or if it is just how the church has drilled into
            societies minds what a woman is meant to be and what a man is meant to
            be. Just something to think about.
            Sincerely,
            Amy

            p.s. This is not Steph, this is her friend. If you would like to reply
            my email address is... amym_02@...



            --- In exexgayministry@yahoogroups.com, "morganharefield"
            <morganharefield@...> wrote:
            >
            > I had a really bad experience with a Christian therapist. I went to
            > her for treatment problems from numerous (and I mean numerous) traumas
            > from medical doctors. I dress and act like I have gender issues.
            > She was really "nice" to me for 8 months. Then I told her I have
            > issues with my gender identity. She got verbally abusive, refused to
            > apologize, justified it because its her "spiritual belief." She
            > totally betrayed my trust and did what no psychotherapist should ever
            > do, especially with someone with my history.
            >
            > Has anyone else had an experience like this?
            >
            > (P.S. I've had other unpleasant encounters with "christians". I
            > was a Christian when I went to the therapist. Now I cannot stomach
            > anything to do with Christianity. It really messed up my religion.)
            >
          • Chris Hansen
            Hi Morgan, Yes, I ve had numerous difficult experiences with Christian therapists. It is a really difficult issue to address, both personally and
            Message 5 of 8 , Dec 21, 2006
              Hi Morgan,
              Yes, I've had numerous difficult experiences with Christian
              therapists. It is a really difficult issue to address, both personally
              and professionally.
              Personally, the sense of failure, betrayal and disappointment have
              been a challenge to overcome because I considered these people an
              authority I could turn to. I looked to what I assumed was their
              `superior' wisdom. To come away from the experience feeling more like
              `damaged goods' than when I went in was devastating.
              From this I learned that the label of `therapist' does not pre-suppose
              one to greater wisdom, insight, or healing ability. I now know that it
              is important to be really sure of a person's experience,
              qualifications, and underlying spiritual and philosophical position
              before I accord them the status of `expert'. I look for people who are
              committed to being FOR something, rather than those who are AGAINST
              something, as well as those whose values I respect.
              Professionally, I believe these sorts of incidents need to be
              challenged legally if at all possible. If a therapist belongs to a
              professional association, then behavior such as this should be
              addressed as non-ethical, or a disciplinary procedure.
              Unfortunately, the reality is often that therapists such as you
              describe often don't belong to professional associations that have
              rigorous codes of ethics. Even if they do, finding the resources to
              undergo this sort of challenge when one is already feeling vulnerable
              is a big ask- especially if challenging the `moral' majority, so it is
              easier said than done. It can be a lonely place to be.
              I hope you find the support and resources you need to stand strong in
              who you are, Morgan. It takes a lot of courage, in my opinion, to be
              able to move on and not be overwhelmed. Finding my sexual identity as
              a lesbian was the best thing I ever did
              Thinking of you
              Chris

              Hey there Morgan. I haven't had an experience quite like you have had,
              but I do have a comment about it. I am a Christian but I don't like to
              call myself a christian because of how I see Christianity portrayed in
              today's church. I know and love God very much, but I don't know the god
              that the church serves. They claim to know Him and serve the one and
              only God but all I see is a bunch of hypocrisy. I'm sorry about your
              experience with the Christian therapist; I want to encourage you to
              seek God on your own and question if you actually do "have issues with
              you gender identity" or if it is just how the church has drilled into
              societies minds what a woman is meant to be and what a man is meant to
              be. Just something to think about.
              Sincerely,
              Amy

              p.s. This is not Steph, this is her friend. If you would like to reply
              my email address is... amym_02@...

              --- In exexgayministry@yahoogroups.com, "morganharefield"
              <morganharefield@...> wrote:
              >
              > I had a really bad experience with a Christian therapist. I went to
              > her for treatment problems from numerous (and I mean numerous) traumas
              > from medical doctors. I dress and act like I have gender issues.
              > She was really "nice" to me for 8 months. Then I told her I have
              > issues with my gender identity. She got verbally abusive, refused to
              > apologize, justified it because its her "spiritual belief." She
              > totally betrayed my trust and did what no psychotherapist should ever
              > do, especially with someone with my history.
              >
              > Has anyone else had an experience like this?
              >
              > (P.S. I've had other unpleasant encounters with "christians". I
              > was a Christian when I went to the therapist. Now I cannot stomach
              > anything to do with Christianity. It really messed up my religion.)
              >
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              --- In exexgayministry@yahoogroups.com, "Stephanie"
              <freestephsteph@...> wrote:
              >
              > Hey there Morgan. I haven't had an experience quite like you have had,
              > but I do have a comment about it. I am a Christian but I don't like to
              > call myself a christian because of how I see Christianity portrayed in
              > today's church. I know and love God very much, but I don't know the god
              > that the church serves. They claim to know Him and serve the one and
              > only God but all I see is a bunch of hypocrisy. I'm sorry about your
              > experience with the Christian therapist; I want to encourage you to
              > seek God on your own and question if you actually do "have issues with
              > you gender identity" or if it is just how the church has drilled into
              > societies minds what a woman is meant to be and what a man is meant to
              > be. Just something to think about.
              > Sincerely,
              > Amy
              >
              > p.s. This is not Steph, this is her friend. If you would like to reply
              > my email address is... amym_02@...
              >
              >
              >
              > --- In exexgayministry@yahoogroups.com, "morganharefield"
              > <morganharefield@> wrote:
              > >
              > > I had a really bad experience with a Christian therapist. I went to
              > > her for treatment problems from numerous (and I mean numerous) traumas
              > > from medical doctors. I dress and act like I have gender issues.
              > > She was really "nice" to me for 8 months. Then I told her I have
              > > issues with my gender identity. She got verbally abusive, refused to
              > > apologize, justified it because its her "spiritual belief." She
              > > totally betrayed my trust and did what no psychotherapist should ever
              > > do, especially with someone with my history.
              > >
              > > Has anyone else had an experience like this?
              > >
              > > (P.S. I've had other unpleasant encounters with "christians". I
              > > was a Christian when I went to the therapist. Now I cannot stomach
              > > anything to do with Christianity. It really messed up my religion.)
              > >
              >
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