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My own journey

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  • ccpr76
    Having made one posting replying to the Ex gay ministries message, I thought I d write a bit about myself. I m going to be 30 this year, and have had
    Message 1 of 4 , Mar 12, 2006
      Having made one posting replying to the "Ex gay ministries" message,
      I thought I'd write a bit about myself.

      I'm going to be 30 this year, and have had "issues" with my same sex
      attraction all my life. About a year ago, I went down the Christian
      route thinking that God could "make me straight", and even went
      through the ex-gay ministries. This is how I gained my experience
      which enabled me to make my previous posting.

      Whilst I was at the height of my "Christian" journey, I felt as
      though I'd been healed of my same sex attraction, but then
      eventually discovered that nothing had changed. In recent months, I
      have distanced myself from the church and have continued on my own
      journey.

      To make things even more interesting, I am a bisexual. I feel I
      don't fully fit into the gay community either!! Also, internalising
      society's views e.g. "you're either gay or straight" doesn't help!!
      My attractions do vary on a day to day basis, but then it now seems
      perfectly normal to me.

      At my work, there is a guy I really like, and a girl I really like
      as well. My attraction to either varies day to day (usually
      depending on my dealings with them). Now, I'm leaning towards
      thinking of them by their names as opposed to their genders.

      There are other people (both male and female) who I feel attracted
      to, but they come and go - unlike my feelings towards the two I
      mentioned in the previous paragraph.

      If I had to choose between these two people, I don't know who I'd go
      for. It would depend on things other than their gender. The only
      thing which creates a bias in my inclinations is the fact that it
      seems easier to find Miss Right than Mr Right!!
    • Norm
      Welcome to the group, ccpr76! I just turned 30 last year, so I kinda relate to some of your experience. I also went through an ex- gay ministry about ten
      Message 2 of 4 , Mar 12, 2006
        Welcome to the group, ccpr76! I just turned 30 last year, so I
        kinda relate to some of your experience. I also went through an ex-
        gay ministry about ten years ago and eventually concluded that it
        was not path for me. I then started this group as way for former
        and questioning "ex-gays" to discuss and recover from their
        experiences.

        If your ex-gay experience anything like my own, I'm glad you did not
        invest too much of your life in the "ex-gay" lifestyle. Like you,
        after I left the ex-gay lifestyle, I also distanced myself from the
        church. I felt it was important for me to assess what my beliefs
        actually were rather than what my beliefs were *supposed* to be.

        Although I encourage you to continue your own journey, I would only
        caution you not to dismiss all Christians or all of Christianity as
        part of the ex-gay movement or religious fundamentalism.
        Christianity is very diverse and not all Christians share the same
        perspective regarding same-sex attractions.

        I current attend a United Church of Christ church and have
        previously attended a Metropolitan Community Church. I also
        attended a Universal Unitarian church for some which I felt was
        helpful in helping me to identify my beliefs. I do think it is
        important to join a spiritual community -- even you don't
        necessarily share all their doctrines. Simply hearing others'
        experience and perspectives can be helpful.

        I agree that as a society, we too often invest too much of our
        identity into the "gay", "straight", or "bisexual" labels. I'm glad
        you are going to relate to the two people you are interested in as
        people -- not necessarily as genders. I hope you are able to
        develop meaningful relationships with these people.

        Once again, welcome to the group. Feel free to share your
        experience or ponderings.

        Norm!


        --- In exexgayministry@yahoogroups.com, "ccpr76" <ccpr76@...> wrote:
        >
        > Having made one posting replying to the "Ex gay ministries"
        message,
        > I thought I'd write a bit about myself.
        >
        > I'm going to be 30 this year, and have had "issues" with my same
        sex
        > attraction all my life. About a year ago, I went down the
        Christian
        > route thinking that God could "make me straight", and even went
        > through the ex-gay ministries. This is how I gained my experience
        > which enabled me to make my previous posting.
        >
        > Whilst I was at the height of my "Christian" journey, I felt as
        > though I'd been healed of my same sex attraction, but then
        > eventually discovered that nothing had changed. In recent months,
        I
        > have distanced myself from the church and have continued on my own
        > journey.
        >
        > To make things even more interesting, I am a bisexual. I feel I
        > don't fully fit into the gay community either!! Also,
        internalising
        > society's views e.g. "you're either gay or straight" doesn't
        help!!
        > My attractions do vary on a day to day basis, but then it now
        seems
        > perfectly normal to me.
        >
        > At my work, there is a guy I really like, and a girl I really like
        > as well. My attraction to either varies day to day (usually
        > depending on my dealings with them). Now, I'm leaning towards
        > thinking of them by their names as opposed to their genders.
        >
        > There are other people (both male and female) who I feel attracted
        > to, but they come and go - unlike my feelings towards the two I
        > mentioned in the previous paragraph.
        >
        > If I had to choose between these two people, I don't know who I'd
        go
        > for. It would depend on things other than their gender. The only
        > thing which creates a bias in my inclinations is the fact that it
        > seems easier to find Miss Right than Mr Right!!
        >
      • Larry
        Each person has to choose his own path that you will walk but I am going to tell you one thing that I was told back in 1969 (nice symbolism also). I had just
        Message 3 of 4 , Jul 26, 2006
          Each person has to choose his own path that you will walk but
          I am going to tell you one thing that I was told back in 1969
          (nice symbolism also).

          I had just accepted the position of Advisor to an Explorer Post,
          a BSA program. (I was in the closet) At the committee meeting,
          the chairman of the Post Committee took me aside and told me:
          "I do not know if you are homosexual or not, but if you are, even
          in the slightest, do not graze in your own backyard. Leave our
          boys alone. Do your searching elsewhere. Keep your sexual life
          out of our group and also out of your work place. Enjoy sex on
          your own time as part of your recreation."

          Now, I was with the Post for 4 years and with a Troop for 10 years
          and with a number of church groups and jave had many jobs. And
          in all the years between 1969 and now (2006), the only times I have
          had problems was when I failed to follow that piece of advice.

          So my two cents worth is, treat your co-workers as Co-Workers, not
          sexual objects and keep sex in your recreational life. And it does not
          matter if you were created straight, bisexual, or gay. Live as God
          created you to be, a being who can control his own urges.

          --- In exexgayministry@yahoogroups.com, "ccpr76" <ccpr76@...> wrote:
          >
          > Having made one posting replying to the "Ex gay ministries" message,
          > I thought I'd write a bit about myself.
          >
          > I'm going to be 30 this year, and have had "issues" with my same sex
          > attraction all my life. About a year ago, I went down the Christian
          > route thinking that God could "make me straight", and even went
          > through the ex-gay ministries. This is how I gained my experience
          > which enabled me to make my previous posting.
          >
          > Whilst I was at the height of my "Christian" journey, I felt as
          > though I'd been healed of my same sex attraction, but then
          > eventually discovered that nothing had changed. In recent months, I
          > have distanced myself from the church and have continued on my own
          > journey.
          >
          > To make things even more interesting, I am a bisexual. I feel I
          > don't fully fit into the gay community either!! Also, internalising
          > society's views e.g. "you're either gay or straight" doesn't help!!
          > My attractions do vary on a day to day basis, but then it now seems
          > perfectly normal to me.
          >
          > At my work, there is a guy I really like, and a girl I really like
          > as well. My attraction to either varies day to day (usually
          > depending on my dealings with them). Now, I'm leaning towards
          > thinking of them by their names as opposed to their genders.
          >
          > There are other people (both male and female) who I feel attracted
          > to, but they come and go - unlike my feelings towards the two I
          > mentioned in the previous paragraph.
          >
          > If I had to choose between these two people, I don't know who I'd go
          > for. It would depend on things other than their gender. The only
          > thing which creates a bias in my inclinations is the fact that it
          > seems easier to find Miss Right than Mr Right!!
          >
        • MrChuk@aol.com
          Basic rule of management: Don t get your sex and salary from the same place Right? Chuk In a message dated 7/26/2006 12:53:58 P.M. Central Daylight Time,
          Message 4 of 4 , Jul 26, 2006
            Basic rule of management:

            "Don't get your sex and salary from the same place"
            Right?
            Chuk

            In a message dated 7/26/2006 12:53:58 P.M. Central Daylight Time,
            dadheniso@... writes:




            Each person has to choose his own path that you will walk but
            I am going to tell you one thing that I was told back in 1969
            (nice symbolism also).

            I had just accepted the position of Advisor to an Explorer Post,
            a BSA program. (I was in the closet) At the committee meeting,
            the chairman of the Post Committee took me aside and told me:
            "I do not know if you are homosexual or not, but if you are, even
            in the slightest, do not graze in your own backyard. Leave our
            boys alone. Do your searching elsewhere. Keep your sexual life
            out of our group and also out of your work place. Enjoy sex on
            your own time as part of your recreation."

            Now, I was with the Post for 4 years and with a Troop for 10 years
            and with a number of church groups and jave had many jobs. And
            in all the years between 1969 and now (2006), the only times I have
            had problems was when I failed to follow that piece of advice.

            So my two cents worth is, treat your co-workers as Co-Workers, not
            sexual objects and keep sex in your recreational life. And it does not
            matter if you were created straight, bisexual, or gay. Live as God
            created you to be, a being who can control his own urges.

            --- In _exexgayministry@exexgayminisexe_
            (mailto:exexgayministry@yahoogroups.com) , "ccpr76" <ccpr76@...> wrote:
            >
            > Having made one posting replying to the "Ex gay ministries" message,
            > I thought I'd write a bit about myself.
            >
            > I'm going to be 30 this year, and have had "issues" with my same sex
            > attraction all my life. About a year ago, I went down the Christian
            > route thinking that God could "make me straight", and even went
            > through the ex-gay ministries. This is how I gained my experience
            > which enabled me to make my previous posting.
            >
            > Whilst I was at the height of my "Christian" journey, I felt as
            > though I'd been healed of my same sex attraction, but then
            > eventually discovered that nothing had changed. In recent months, I
            > have distanced myself from the church and have continued on my own
            > journey.
            >
            > To make things even more interesting, I am a bisexual. I feel I
            > don't fully fit into the gay community either!! Also, internalising
            > society's views e.g. "you're either gay or straight" doesn't help!!
            > My attractions do vary on a day to day basis, but then it now seems
            > perfectly normal to me.
            >
            > At my work, there is a guy I really like, and a girl I really like
            > as well. My attraction to either varies day to day (usually
            > depending on my dealings with them). Now, I'm leaning towards
            > thinking of them by their names as opposed to their genders.
            >
            > There are other people (both male and female) who I feel attracted
            > to, but they come and go - unlike my feelings towards the two I
            > mentioned in the previous paragraph.
            >
            > If I had to choose between these two people, I don't know who I'd go
            > for. It would depend on things other than their gender. The only
            > thing which creates a bias in my inclinations is the fact that it
            > seems easier to find Miss Right than Mr Right!!
            >








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