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The original Anna Montrose article

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  • Jayelle Wiggins
    http://www.mcgilldaily.com/view.php?aid=3777 Because context is everything. I wonder how her date went? B*B, Jayelle Brain Candy: Meow meow meow mix Woman
    Message 1 of 1 , Apr 20, 2005
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      http://www.mcgilldaily.com/view.php?aid=3777

      Because context is everything. I wonder how her date
      went?

      B*B,
      Jayelle

      Brain Candy: Meow meow meow mix


      Woman whines about being single, enjoys lesbian dance
      party


      By Anna Montrose


      It�s hard to go through four years of a humanities BA
      reading Foucault and Butler and watching The L-Word
      and keep your rigid heterosexuality intact. I don�t
      know when it happened exactly, but it seems I no
      longer have the easy certainty of pinning my sexual
      desire to one gender and never the other.

      If I thought meeting guys was difficult, meeting
      eligible women has proved even harder. At the best of
      times I�m pretty shy and averse to dating, so trying
      to find a suitable partner is always impossible. And
      when it comes to queer women, the pond becomes very
      small and practically invisible.

      Since I�m new to the same-sex dating arena, I�m
      feeling as though I need to re-learn the rules and
      figure out a new set of signs and signals. For
      example, while a warm hug and a kiss on the cheek from
      a man probably means something, the same affection
      from a woman likely doesn�t. He�s trying to get in
      your pants, and she�s just a straight girl being
      friendly.

      But beyond my trite bi-curious angst, the problem of
      meeting potential female partners remains daunting.
      Making out with friends at parties has been fun, but
      hasn�t led anywhere. And though I recently changed my
      friendster status from �in a relationship� (which I
      haven�t been for many months) to �dating men and
      women,� all of my illusions about online dating have
      long been shattered.

      Whenever I explain my dilemma to friends and ask to be
      matched up, I am met with sympathy and blank looks.
      �Single lesbians?� they ask, �I know one in Toronto,
      does that help?�

      However, I know they�re out there, and my proof is
      Meow Mix. This almost-monthly party at Sala Rossa is
      billed as a night �for bent girls and their buddies,�
      and includes performances by people such as Alexis
      O�Hara, Ratiscule, and Trannie Tronic. The performance
      roster varies, but the theme seems to be young hip
      plateau women who are willing to go on stage.

      Once the variety show is over, everyone moves the
      tables and chairs to the sides of the hall and Meow
      Mix becomes a DJ�ed dance party. This is not a small
      group of demure women dancing respectfully � it�s
      dozens of people of all ages crowding the floor at
      Sala and letting loose.

      Though I�d been warned that it might be mostly older
      women and butch-femme pairs, it was instead a
      completely heterogeneous crowd. There were women in
      their 40�s, indie-rock hipsters, pretty women in
      dresses, low-slung rock-star studded belts, and
      hip-hop c�gep girls. Since my expectations were
      naively low, the number of gorgeous women in
      attendance stunned me.

      The most striking thing for me was watching women
      dance together without performing for men. Though
      booty-grinding between hooped-earring Jupiter Room
      patrons is pretty ubiquitous, it usually seems more
      like heterosexual foreplay than anything else. At Meow
      Mix the tone seemed entirely different, and instead of
      assuming everyone was straight, I had the refreshing
      luxury of assuming everyone wasn�t.

      The numbers in attendance last weekend at Meow Mix are
      at least a testament to the existence of lesbians in
      Montreal. Though as an outsider my interpretations
      could be all off, I felt like a lot of people there
      knew each other. I kept seeing excited waves from
      across the room, hugs of reunification, eager
      introductions, and lots of �Hey! how ARE you?��s. The
      vibe was relaxed and friendly, and not at all
      meet-markety.

      So instead of going on bad dates with insufferably
      boring people from the internet, I need to go out and
      meet real women who I have something in common with
      other than sexual orientation. Though the vestiges of
      my high-school shyness remain a liability, I�m slowly
      working through it, and Meow Mix might be a good place
      to start.


      "No American, no human being, should have to give up her or his difference in order to be treated equally under the law."--Evan Wolfson, Why Marriage Matters

      http://www.livejournal.com/~princesswitch






















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