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Re: [ExExGayMinistry] Im back unfortunately

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  • Rusty Morris
    Perhaps someone should define ex-exgay . R. ... From: rodneymacdonald To: exexgayministry@yahoogroups.com Sent: Thursday, June 26, 2003 11:21 PM Subject:
    Message 1 of 10 , Jun 27, 2003
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      Perhaps someone should define "ex-exgay".

      R.

      ----- Original Message -----
      From: rodneymacdonald
      To: exexgayministry@yahoogroups.com
      Sent: Thursday, June 26, 2003 11:21 PM
      Subject: [ExExGayMinistry] Im back unfortunately


      Hi everyone , im not sure if anyone remembers me from last summer,
      but anyhow, Im back from a year of 'runaway from everything' in
      france, unfortunately this sin has a way of following you wherever
      you go in the world.
      I am tired out by all this bagage in my life, i would love to hear
      from someone who has actually experienced and IS experiencing victory
      over homosexuality in their life, because im at the point of breaking
      and going back to the lifestyle full tilt. When i left the gay world
      a year ago, i felt hurt, loneliness, anger, guilt, shame, and the
      list goes on, but since trying to be righteous, expecting to feel the
      opposites of those attributes, ive just experienced more of it.

      Dont know where to turn, tried Jesus, but not so sure about that now

      Rodney



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      [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
    • nyguy_1225
      Interesting comment! It would appear to me that if one understands on any level what the term ex-gay is supposed to mean, then it surely wouldn t be rocket
      Message 2 of 10 , Jun 27, 2003
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        Interesting comment! It would appear to me that if one understands
        on any level what the term "ex-gay" is supposed to mean, then it
        surely wouldn't be rocket science to figure out "ex-ex-gay."
        Frankly, I think the term that really needs some serious defining is
        the former. If you asked 10 people to define "ex-gay" -- including
        those who identify themselves as such -- you'd probably get at least
        11 answers. Nonetheless I think I went into a fair elaboration on
        the latter in my post #2895.

        -Alex

        --- In exexgayministry@yahoogroups.com, "Rusty Morris"
        <rusty66@w...> wrote:
        > Perhaps someone should define "ex-exgay".
        >
        > R.
        >
        > ----- Original Message -----
        > From: rodneymacdonald
        > To: exexgayministry@yahoogroups.com
        > Sent: Thursday, June 26, 2003 11:21 PM
        > Subject: [ExExGayMinistry] Im back unfortunately
        >
        >
        > Hi everyone , im not sure if anyone remembers me from last
        summer,
        > but anyhow, Im back from a year of 'runaway from everything' in
        > france, unfortunately this sin has a way of following you
        wherever
        > you go in the world.
        > I am tired out by all this bagage in my life, i would love to
        hear
        > from someone who has actually experienced and IS experiencing
        victory
        > over homosexuality in their life, because im at the point of
        breaking
        > and going back to the lifestyle full tilt. When i left the gay
        world
        > a year ago, i felt hurt, loneliness, anger, guilt, shame, and
        the
        > list goes on, but since trying to be righteous, expecting to
        feel the
        > opposites of those attributes, ive just experienced more of it.
        >
        > Dont know where to turn, tried Jesus, but not so sure about that
        now
        >
        > Rodney
        >
        >
        >
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        > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
      • Rusty Morris
        Yes it was a good response. R. ... From: nyguy_1225 To: exexgayministry@yahoogroups.com Sent: Friday, June 27, 2003 5:12 PM Subject: [ExExGayMinistry] Re: Im
        Message 3 of 10 , Jun 27, 2003
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          Yes it was a good response.
          R.
          ----- Original Message -----
          From: nyguy_1225
          To: exexgayministry@yahoogroups.com
          Sent: Friday, June 27, 2003 5:12 PM
          Subject: [ExExGayMinistry] Re: Im back unfortunately


          Interesting comment! It would appear to me that if one understands
          on any level what the term "ex-gay" is supposed to mean, then it
          surely wouldn't be rocket science to figure out "ex-ex-gay."
          Frankly, I think the term that really needs some serious defining is
          the former. If you asked 10 people to define "ex-gay" -- including
          those who identify themselves as such -- you'd probably get at least
          11 answers. Nonetheless I think I went into a fair elaboration on
          the latter in my post #2895.

          -Alex

          --- In exexgayministry@yahoogroups.com, "Rusty Morris"
          <rusty66@w...> wrote:
          > Perhaps someone should define "ex-exgay".
          >
          > R.
          >
          > ----- Original Message -----
          > From: rodneymacdonald
          > To: exexgayministry@yahoogroups.com
          > Sent: Thursday, June 26, 2003 11:21 PM
          > Subject: [ExExGayMinistry] Im back unfortunately
          >
          >
          > Hi everyone , im not sure if anyone remembers me from last
          summer,
          > but anyhow, Im back from a year of 'runaway from everything' in
          > france, unfortunately this sin has a way of following you
          wherever
          > you go in the world.
          > I am tired out by all this bagage in my life, i would love to
          hear
          > from someone who has actually experienced and IS experiencing
          victory
          > over homosexuality in their life, because im at the point of
          breaking
          > and going back to the lifestyle full tilt. When i left the gay
          world
          > a year ago, i felt hurt, loneliness, anger, guilt, shame, and
          the
          > list goes on, but since trying to be righteous, expecting to
          feel the
          > opposites of those attributes, ive just experienced more of it.
          >
          > Dont know where to turn, tried Jesus, but not so sure about that
          now
          >
          > Rodney
          >
          >
          >
          > Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
          > ADVERTISEMENT
          >
          >
          >
          >
          > To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
          > exexgayministry-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
          >
          >
          >
          > Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of
          Service.
          >
          >
          > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]


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          [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
        • calldon2k
          ... What sin? ... victory ... There are no ex-gays. If there were, you would hear from them. ... What lifestyle? Please describe and be specific. Then
          Message 4 of 10 , Jun 28, 2003
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            --- In exexgayministry@yahoogroups.com, "rodneymacdonald"
            <rodneymacdonald@y...> wrote:
            > Hi everyone , im not sure if anyone remembers me from last summer,
            > but anyhow, Im back from a year of 'runaway from everything' in
            > france, unfortunately this sin has a way of following you wherever
            > you go in the world.

            What sin?

            > I am tired out by all this bagage in my life, i would love to hear
            > from someone who has actually experienced and IS experiencing
            victory
            > over homosexuality in their life,

            There are no ex-gays. If there were, you would hear from them.

            >because im at the point of breaking
            > and going back to the lifestyle full tilt.

            What "lifestyle?" Please describe and be specific. Then tell
            what "the lifestyle" has to do with your post?!?

            >When i left the gay world
            > a year ago, i felt hurt, loneliness, anger, guilt, shame, and the
            > list goes on, but since trying to be righteous, expecting to feel
            the
            > opposites of those attributes, ive just experienced more of it.

            1) What is "the gay world?"
            2) You have many problems.
            3) Get a grip on yourself and get out of that big pity-pit you are
            currently wallowing in.

            > Dont know where to turn, tried Jesus, but not so sure about that now

            Please don't blame Jesus because you can only speak in
            generalizations and think that the world is against you.
          • nyguy_1225
            The brother is only trying to wrestle through the issues with integrity, as we all have had to do. And as we all should know from our personal walks of faith,
            Message 5 of 10 , Jun 29, 2003
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              The brother is only trying to wrestle through the issues with
              integrity, as we all have had to do. And as we all should know from
              our personal walks of faith, this takes time and it is not easy. It
              would appear that our job would be to provide him with compassion,
              patience and sensitivity.

              -Alex

              --- In exexgayministry@yahoogroups.com, calldon2k <no_reply@y...>
              wrote:
              > --- In exexgayministry@yahoogroups.com, "rodneymacdonald"
              > <rodneymacdonald@y...> wrote:
              > > Hi everyone , im not sure if anyone remembers me from last
              summer,
              > > but anyhow, Im back from a year of 'runaway from everything' in
              > > france, unfortunately this sin has a way of following you
              wherever
              > > you go in the world.
              >
              > What sin?
              >
              > > I am tired out by all this bagage in my life, i would love to
              hear
              > > from someone who has actually experienced and IS experiencing
              > victory
              > > over homosexuality in their life,
              >
              > There are no ex-gays. If there were, you would hear from them.
              >
              > >because im at the point of breaking
              > > and going back to the lifestyle full tilt.
              >
              > What "lifestyle?" Please describe and be specific. Then tell
              > what "the lifestyle" has to do with your post?!?
              >
              > >When i left the gay world
              > > a year ago, i felt hurt, loneliness, anger, guilt, shame, and
              the
              > > list goes on, but since trying to be righteous, expecting to
              feel
              > the
              > > opposites of those attributes, ive just experienced more of it.
              >
              > 1) What is "the gay world?"
              > 2) You have many problems.
              > 3) Get a grip on yourself and get out of that big pity-pit you
              are
              > currently wallowing in.
              >
              > > Dont know where to turn, tried Jesus, but not so sure about that
              now
              >
              > Please don't blame Jesus because you can only speak in
              > generalizations and think that the world is against you.
            • calldon2k
              ... from ... Sorry if I seem a little cold. But I simply don t trust most as easily as I used to. Ya see...I still have the memories of the broken young
              Message 6 of 10 , Aug 9, 2003
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                --- In exexgayministry@yahoogroups.com, nyguy_1225 <no_reply@y...>
                wrote:
                > The brother is only trying to wrestle through the issues with
                > integrity, as we all have had to do. And as we all should know
                from
                > our personal walks of faith, this takes time and it is not easy. It
                > would appear that our job would be to provide him with compassion,
                > patience and sensitivity.
                >
                > -Alex

                Sorry if I seem a little cold. But I simply don't trust most as
                easily as I used to. Ya see...I still have the memories of the
                broken young people with whom I worked for many years. I still
                remember the times I came home from work and found a young person
                waiting at my door-step...after being kicked-out of their home for
                being gay. I still know kids who are struggling inside, who
                struggled for many years enduring rejection by those they love the
                most.

                I just finished reading much of the "Faith and Family" web-site of
                Dr. Richard Land as well as some of the SBC materials. As they get
                ready to fight homosexuality, I realize what half-truths they are
                promoting, even to the point of refering people to NARTH as if it
                were legitimate.

                I had a friend who told me that 20-years ago, his options were
                suicide, an emotional breakdown or to come-out. Unfortunately, I
                think many young folks will not be as stable to begin with and may
                not be able to see all the options, especially when they are
                promised "freedom from homosexuality" from people who will be so
                convincing and have such slick printed materials.

                I am tired of young gay folks hurting just because of who they are.

                End of my rant.
              • nyguy_1225
                Don, I well understand the rejection some people have been through. I am no stranger to their struggles. I see it all the time. And in many ways, I spend my
                Message 7 of 10 , Aug 10, 2003
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                  Don, I well understand the rejection some people have been through.
                  I am no stranger to their struggles. I see it all the time. And in
                  many ways, I spend my life caring for and helping these people. But
                  I also see that in the final analysis, people deal with the hurt and
                  rejection in essentially one of two ways:

                  (1) Some eventually learn to move past the hurt and rejection and
                  choose to learn to move toward healing. They choose to learn to
                  build productive and healthy lives. They come to realize and accept
                  that for the most part -- with rare exception -- the people who hurt
                  them and/or told them they could not be gay or could not be gay and
                  Christian were simply misinformed or hurt themselves. Their
                  intention was not primarily to mislead or hurt; it was an unintended
                  consequence. The people who "hurt" them simply shared with these
                  young gay men and women what they had been taught about Lev. 18:22,
                  et al. from those who taught them Christianity. And since the
                  passages seemed clear enough on the surface neither of them (yes,
                  even the gay people!) had reason at the time to question them
                  further or to better understand the historical context or situations
                  and circumstances to which they were written. However, now having
                  new and more exegetically sound information they can make new,
                  better and healthier decisions.

                  (2) Others choose to spend the rest of the lives blaming everyone
                  and everything as they continue to hold tight to their anger. They
                  on some significant level refuse to move on. They refuse to move
                  past the hurt and refuse to learn how to move to toward healing. In
                  the final analysis we are all responsible for own lives and what we
                  do with them -- regardless of what we may have encountered in the
                  past. We're responsible for what we do, or do not do, with what
                  we've been taught or not taught. We don't live in an "Ozzie and
                  Harriet" or "Leave it to Beaver" world. We live in a fallen and an
                  imperfect world and we're raised by and live among fallen and
                  imperfect people.

                  As I mentioned in my last post I had been invited to be a keynote
                  speaker at ECWR's annual conference last week and I had opportunity
                  there to speak with hundreds of Christian gay men and women over the
                  course of the three days -- some of whom I had just met, some of
                  whom I've known for years. Again, there were those two distinct
                  camps: Some were so excited about finally learning the truth,
                  excited about understanding that they had been taught some things
                  that simply were not true and over the years moved on to begin
                  rebuilding their lives. But sadly, there were others that are still
                  kicking, bitching and moaning about who and what had done them
                  wrong. They have nothing but negative things to say about everyone
                  and everything. Everything that came out of their mouth was toxic
                  and negative. This one hurt me and I'm STILL mad. This one
                  rejected me and I'm STILL mad. This one didn't love me and I'm
                  STILL mad. I fear many of them will spend the rest of their lives
                  complaining about what happened in the past. What a sad and
                  wasteful thing to do with such a precious gift as life.

                  -Alex

                  --- In exexgayministry@yahoogroups.com, calldon2k <no_reply@y...>
                  wrote:
                  > --- In exexgayministry@yahoogroups.com, nyguy_1225 <no_reply@y...>
                  > wrote:
                  > > The brother is only trying to wrestle through the issues with
                  > > integrity, as we all have had to do. And as we all should know
                  > from
                  > > our personal walks of faith, this takes time and it is not easy.
                  It
                  > > would appear that our job would be to provide him with
                  compassion,
                  > > patience and sensitivity.
                  > >
                  > > -Alex
                  >
                  > Sorry if I seem a little cold. But I simply don't trust most as
                  > easily as I used to. Ya see...I still have the memories of the
                  > broken young people with whom I worked for many years. I still
                  > remember the times I came home from work and found a young person
                  > waiting at my door-step...after being kicked-out of their home for
                  > being gay. I still know kids who are struggling inside, who
                  > struggled for many years enduring rejection by those they love the
                  > most.
                  >
                  > I just finished reading much of the "Faith and Family" web-site of
                  > Dr. Richard Land as well as some of the SBC materials. As they
                  get
                  > ready to fight homosexuality, I realize what half-truths they are
                  > promoting, even to the point of refering people to NARTH as if it
                  > were legitimate.
                  >
                  > I had a friend who told me that 20-years ago, his options were
                  > suicide, an emotional breakdown or to come-out. Unfortunately, I
                  > think many young folks will not be as stable to begin with and may
                  > not be able to see all the options, especially when they are
                  > promised "freedom from homosexuality" from people who will be so
                  > convincing and have such slick printed materials.
                  >
                  > I am tired of young gay folks hurting just because of who they are.
                  >
                  > End of my rant.
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