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4209How can I live like this?

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  • mental_problem2000
    Feb 26, 2008
      Hello,
      My name is Paden. I am a black, 28 year old, homosexual. I dont
      see how I can live as a gay person. I want to die. I guess I believe
      in Jesus and God, but I dont think anyone can help me anymore. Why do
      I have to be gay? I didn't choose this, it chose me. Why do the
      churches hate us so much? Why does the bible condemn homosexuality?
      What does God think on the issue? Also, these ex-gay ministries, are
      they serious? I mean, can you change to become a heterosexual? I am
      just so tired of life, being a homo, feeling like a bad christian,
      and all the worries of being 28 and living at home... I just cant
      take it anymore! I wish I were dead because being a homosexual has
      brought nothing but pain to my life. I am a 28 year old virgin, I
      have never been with anyone before. I am alone. I dont fit into the
      gay community it seems, I admit though I havent seen much of it. Is
      it ok for me to like white men as a black gay man? That bothers me
      too. I just dont understand how God can be with me, yet I am in so
      much pain. I just dont want to live anymore. I am on anti-
      depressants, but they dont help anymore. I have tried psychatrists,
      drugs, praying, hope, etc, but nothing seems to work. It just seems
      to get worse and worse. Nothing seems to make me happy. Sigh, I guess
      I am just weary and tired of life in general. Any suggestions?
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