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2285Re: Willing Ex-Gay Participation

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  • calldon2k
    May 10, 2002
      --- In exexgayministry@y..., "nojam75" <nojam75@y...> wrote:
      > I confessed my struggle with homosexuality and enrolled in an ex-
      > program when I was 19. I was raised as a Christian, but was still
      > trying to live up to my faith. So, I wasn't a new Christian, but I
      > wouldn't say I was mature in my faith either (whatever "mature"
      > means).

      I understand, "mature" is a subjective term also. For many years, I
      was in "youth work." Even now, I observe the mold into which we
      attempt to force others to conform. You are a good Christian if you
      fit this mold. You are not a good Christian if you don't. I am one
      of those former right-wingers who thought Southern Baptists were
      liberal. So...I was on the front row in the arena of trying
      to "encourage" others into certain behaviors...thinking that those
      behaviors were "Christian behaviors."

      Fortunately, I allowed grace a bigger hold on my life. For a control-
      freak like me, it is difficult to realize that God really does love
      all of those other people who do not look and act and dress exactly
      like I think they should!!! What a shock!

      It is difficult to sometimes admit that there are Methodist and
      Catholic and even Prestyterian folks who LOVE THE LORD just like I
      claim to...and they are not trying to get me to act like them.

      > I agree that as a fundamentalist/conservative
      > Christian, I had few alternatives to ex-gay therapy. However, that
      > was because I chose to maintain a specific set of beliefs. I
      > chose not to consider other options such as becoming a
      > more "liberal" brand of Christian.

      I understand. "Liberals" were all going to hell anyway. Why would
      you want to become one? Believe me when I say, I understand!

      > It also hurts to know that you are probably right in that my former
      > Christians friends now think of me. From our last conversations, I
      > think they probably consider me a "lost Christian".

      Too bad that they cannot understand that a person can be a believer
      even if they don't believe point-by-point as they do! It is a shame
      that they have lost a good friendship and a good friend.

      > Ultimately, my point about the importance of taking personal
      > responsibility is to avoid a victim mentality. It is true that we
      > all face seemingly overwhelming pressures.

      Unfortunately, many who come from the ultra-fundie-type backgrounds
      see no middle ground spiritually. They have been taught "if you are
      not FOR God (in our image of Him) then you are AGAINST God...and
      us...and all things good and holy. I have seen so many of them just
      discard all spiritual things and ideas completely. Too bad for that.

      >At some point, each of us
      > recognize that we must take personal responsibility for our lives.

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