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2234Re: Hello and Question

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  • nojam75
    Apr 5, 2002
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      --- In exexgayministry@y..., "LoveEloheem" <loveeloheem@y...> wrote:
      > ...
      > Anyway, I have been wondering about how many people who go through
      > "therapy" and consider themselves ex-ex gay or never even
      considered
      > themselves ex-gay. I know that this is a kinda though question. But
      > any help or information you can give me would be excellent.
      > ...

      Speaking for myself, I think of the 'ex-ex-gay' label as a shorthand
      method of quickly describing my experience. The more accurate
      description would probably be 'former ex-gay ministry participant'.
      But I think 'ex-ex-gay' is more fun to use.

      As for whether I was ever 'ex-gay', I don't think I ever considered
      myself 'ex-gay'. However, at the time I was in ex-gay treatment,
      about five years ago, there was still some hesitancy about using
      the 'ex-gay' label. I think it was more common to describe oneself
      as 'struggling with sexuality'.

      The 'ex-gay' label is somewhat misleading because it implies one is
      no longer homosexual when in fact nearly all 'ex-gays' admit to
      continual homosexual attractions. Personally, I like how silly
      the 'ex-ex-gay' labels sounds.

      > ...
      > Additionally, I ran across a site where the author stated that she
      > observed that only those ran away from the ex-gay "lifestyle" who
      > weren't strong in their faith, didn't do bible study etc.
      > I mean, what a comment. Quite unbelievable!
      > ...

      Lack of faith is often the ex-gay method of countering ex-ex-gay
      experiences. Ex-gays attribute their success stories to
      God/faith/reparative therapy, but they seem to be unable to take any
      responsibility for any negative experiences. When I began expressing
      doubts and frustration over my ex-gay progress, I was told that I
      needed to "pray for more faith" and eventually my own faith was
      attacked. It really is a cruel cycle of blaming the participant.

      Welcome to club, Julia, and thanks for sharing.

      - Norm!
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