76006Re: [evol-psych] Re: Women's bare flesh in winter 'a bigger turn-on for men'
- Oct 4, 2008At 01:55 PM 10/3/2008 +0000, Francine A. Burlingame wrote:
>Joao Sousa wrote:Excellent point, Francine.
> >How can runaways be attractive?
>It most probably stems from our fear of abandonment, an important
>survival tool that keeps children close to their parents and keeps
>tribe members from straying too far from group members.
>When someone who has been close to us suddenly draws away, we feel a
>very real visceral clutch. In romantic situations, this biological
>feeling may be misinterpreted, and we conclude that we must care about
>(or physically desire) the other person more than we thought.
>Regarding romantic/sexual manipulation:
>"If you don't, I know who will" is a classic ploy.
If you want to keep someone, even if not continually, the thing to do is
to come on like gangbusters, madly in love, etc., then back away with one
of those tried and true, "You're too good for me...", or "I need some space for
a while", lines. Then, some months later, come back again, "Oh, I missed you,
can't go on without you...", etc. The abandoned one will be extremely relieved
and isn't so hard to woo back. But then you repeat it...and maybe repeat it
In the meantime, between times, you continue on with others, with whom you may
well be doing the same thing.
Of course, this isn't very good for stability, and is quite cruel - but it's a
ploy of the sociopath, or just the socially handicapped, who are afraid to do
more than dip their toes into intimacy.
If you find one of these in your life - run!
If you are one of these - how sad for you.
Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and
conscientious stupidity. -- Martin Luther King, Jr.
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