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Fw: If only it WAS that easy!!!!!!

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  • jreakes
    ... who ... the ... offer..... ... leg ... grandad ... Maude ... tree ... can ... need ... precious ... you ... to ... March ... society ... they ... will ...
    Message 1 of 1 , Aug 17, 2000
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      > Dear All
      > Welcome to my super-fast instant ancestry programme! I am proud to
      > announce
      > the launch of an exciting new service for wannabe family historians
      > find research the old-fashioned way rather boring.
      > You, too, can have a family tree back to Adam and Eve ENTIRELY from
      > Internet!!!
      > Here is an amazing, once-in-a-lifetime, never-to-be repeated
      > SEND me 10,000 dollars, your date of birth, your chest and inside
      > measurements, the location of the pub where your granny met your
      > and the name of that milkman with the hairy nose that your Auntie
      > had the wild affair with - and I guarantee I will have your family
      > at
      > least back to Nebuchadnezzar the Daft of Outer Mongolia before you
      > say
      > "IGI" !!!
      > NO more listening to boring old farts droning on how about how you
      > to read a book on family history. Books - outdated, who needs 'em?
      > NO more need to visit dreary old Record Offices or waste your
      > time
      > looking at boring bits of paper covered in squiggly writing that
      > can't understand anyway.
      > NO more need to listen to self-appointed, so-called experts who try
      > tell
      > you they can help you just because they've been in genealogy since
      > 1897 and who will try and persuade you to join a family history
      > where you will meet hordes of equally boring people who also think
      > know it all.
      > I absolutely guarantee you a family tree you can be proud of, that
      > show your descent from such famous historical figures as Mary Queen
      > Scots, Oliver Cromwell, Sir Francis Drake, William the Conqueror,
      > Charlemagne, the Norse god Woden, Charles II's head coachman's
      > illegitimate
      > son, a 4th cousin twice removed of Henry VIII, Cyril the Incontinent
      > of Babylon, Frederick the Flatulent of the Austro-Hungarian Empire,
      > Baron
      > Frankenstein, Joan Collins and the Man in the Off-Licence Round the
      > Corner.
      > How do I do it? Simple - I log onto the Internet, spend half an hour
      > so, trawling the world wide web and - Bingo! - there is your Instant
      > Family Tree! Here's how it works...
      > First, I find the marriage of your great-granny on the IGI, then I
      > find someone of the same name who was born in a parish 100 miles
      > from
      > where she was married, so that's bound to be her, isn't it?
      > Then I ring up this mate of mine who specialises in doing look-ups
      > the
      > 1861 census in places like London, Leeds, Sheffield, Bristol,
      > and Glasgow.
      > He sticks a pin in anywhere on the census and gives me a couple more
      > names to work with. I reckon they have as much chance as being your
      > gt-gt-grandparents as anyone else, so it's back to the Net. I feed
      > names into umpteen databases and websites until I come up with
      > of the same name who claims to be descended from Edward III. Ah,
      > this looks as good a bet as any.
      > Nobody is going to notice if I casually slip your gt-gt-grandad and
      > granny into
      > a GEDCOM that shows they were also descended from Alfred the Great
      > the monk who did the slopping-out at Whitby Abbey, are they?
      > So there you have it - a wonderful, Instant Family Tree, and all
      > the Internet.
      > And what I don't find I simply MAKE UP!!!
      > What could be easier?
      > Apply now for the bargain of all time and discover how to make
      > genealogy really work for you!
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