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Translated poem

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  • ErunámoLondëoronti
    Hi everybody! I ve tried to translate an old poem of mine (to my girlfriend Cecilia, the stars mentioned is our two children) into Quenya and I have NO
    Message 1 of 3 , May 12, 2003
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      Hi everybody!

      I've tried to translate an old poem of mine (to my
      girlfriend Cecilia, the stars mentioned is our two
      children) into Quenya and I have NO experience at all
      when it comes to grammatical thinking (mostly
      regarding the termology) so please have patience with
      me. Problems that is appearant to me is
      vowel-lengthening and, as I said, termology in the
      sence to identify what word is what (as in object,
      subject and so on).

      The poem is directly translated into English from
      Swedish (my native language) and then into Quenya so
      the poetic flow has NOT been considered at all. That
      would be too much of a job for me at this stage...

      I will post the poem in three different stages because
      of the length, but I will give you the whole poem in
      English so you (hopefully) can understand it better.

      English version (with the alternative phrase within
      parenthesis):

      Title.
      A mirage among sand

      Stanza 1.
      Oceans of sand everywhere
      The light of the night gave me little comfort of
      rescue
      The wander took forever and more
      (A wander where every hour felt like an eternity)
      Sand and darkness embraced me
      Evil and cold like heavy shadows

      Stanza 2.
      But, there! a mirage far far away
      Shoned upon by two beautiful stars
      (Shoned upon by two beautiful and bright little
      stars)
      whose light embellished all in silver
      My vision was blurry of years of nothing to see
      The distance decreased all too slow
      But time crawled slowly forward
      (But time walked slowly forward on all four)

      Stanza 3.
      What was that dreamlike creation up ahead?
      What was it that could be so beautiful?
      Slowly my vision sharpened
      Colours red as darkest blood reached my ravaged eyes
      All this beauty belonging to the fairest of roses
      (All this beauty coming from the fairest of roses)
      A rose namned Cecilia

      ----------------------

      Quenya (Title plus Stanza 1):

      Olos imb� lits�
      A (dream) vision among sand

      �ari lits�va ilmass�
      Seas sand-of everywhere

      I cala m�r�o antan� nin estelinc� eng�va
      The light night-of-the gave to-me hope-little
      rescue-of

      R�n� mass� ilya l�m� tenyan� ve oir�
      (A) wander where every hour felt like (an) eternity

      Lits� ar morni� nin undul�v�
      Sand and darkness me down-licked

      Saura ar ringa ve lumbuli
      Evil and cold like heavy shadows

      ------------------

      I hope this isn't too much and that there aren't too
      many errors. But, please, comment on all of them! I
      want it completely right in the end ;)

      Hantal� ar nam�ri�!
      Erun�mo Lond�oronti

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    • DDanielA@webtv.net
      Teithant londeoronti ... This post properly belongs on Elfling, not Elfscript. Here we deal with Tolkien s writing systems, not translations. Cuio mae, Danny.
      Message 2 of 3 , May 12, 2003
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        Teithant londeoronti
        >I've tried to translate an old poem of mine (to
        >my girlfriend Cecilia, the stars mentioned is our
        >two children) into Quenya

        This post properly belongs on Elfling, not Elfscript. Here we deal with
        Tolkien's writing systems, not translations.

        Cuio mae, Danny.
      • ErunámoLondëoronti
        Hi! My fault! I have both lists (and only them) in my address book. Just chose the wrong one. Sorry about that... Erunámo ...
        Message 3 of 3 , May 12, 2003
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          Hi!

          My fault! I have both lists (and only them) in my
          address book. Just chose the wrong one.

          Sorry about that...

          Erun�mo

          --- DDanielA@... wrote:
          > Teithant londeoronti
          > >I've tried to translate an old poem of mine (to
          > >my girlfriend Cecilia, the stars mentioned is our
          > >two children) into Quenya
          >
          > This post properly belongs on Elfling, not
          > Elfscript. Here we deal with
          > Tolkien's writing systems, not translations.
          >
          > Cuio mae, Danny.
          >
          >


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