Welcome, "Blue", and congratulations!! Your post sums up a lot very concisely! I started dropping the capital "E" for eckwords rather early, and now it's much easier & more fitting to just type "ekult". <gg>
Anyway, I've been out for over 10 years now, after about 15 in, and at this point, except for internet reminders, in my "real life" it's more like one of those distant memories of some dumb thing from high school that's embarrassing on those rare occasions I remember it, but not that important. When I was a member, it was all-consuming, and "Life Itself". That does pass, altho it might be a bit harder for those who've been in for 20-30 years.
It does take time to "recover" and become human again. I remember it happened in stages, suddenly I'd realize I felt "normal" again, but a year later I'd realize I was even more "normal". Now I just "am" and don't really think about it. And what's "normal", anyway? <gg>
It was pretty traumatic at first, though. It was helpful for me to go back over all the nonsense I'd filled my head with, and read the eckbooks with a clear mind, objectively & using new critical thinking skills, and ohmigod was I ever horrified to see the garbage I'd been filling my mind with! For me, it helped at a certain point to dump all "spiritual" thoughts & study, and practices - except perhaps for the love-stuff, since puppies & kittens & babies just make the heart feel good! Right now I'm in a very comfy place of not knowing anything at all, and just "believing" in an infinite number of possibilities, but taking it all very lightly.
I think it helps to de-eck life as much as possible. Comedy is wonderful and laughter heals. Spend time doing non-ecky "normal" things with non-ecky "normal" people. Take off those blue blinders and take another look at the beautiful world we live in, it's very real, I think nature helps, getting out in the woods with rocks & trees, etc., and just letting the wind blow away all the eckanfog.
Because things like meditation, contemplation, dreams, etc., were so eckanfouled & corrupted, I found it helpful to stop everything like that, and even stopped dreaming. One of the first things I did was stop huing, which wasn't easy, it was a constant part of life & my "being". I just yelled "NO" to myself when I got the urge. Okay, there may be some "good" things in ekult but for me, it was better to get rid of *all* of it until I was at the point where I could sort of start things again, but safely & sanely.
Right before I left, it seemed like twinkly blue Xmas lights got incredibly popular, and I was a bit nutsy, thinking "mahanta" every time I saw a blue light, and they were all over! Now, "Blue" is a nice cartoon dog on one of my grandsons' favorite kiddie shows.
"Knowing" was a burden, and it was nice to dump it. Ditto with the "secret messages" and "deeper" meaning to things, and all those other silly eckthings. Now, I'm not saying none of that stuff is "real", but nowadays things are sort of more "holistic", integrated, everything just "is".
Stress was mentioned recently - and I definitely agree, ekult was definitely stressful, all that baloney about recruiting, working on "spiritual growth", push push push, nag nag nag!!! What had started out as something that seemed joyful and spontaneous, from the heart and soul, sure turned out to be something entirely different!
But yes, eventually true "Spirit" does break thru for many, and good old common sense kicks in!!
So, there's a new photo for sale now, Klemp rising in the clouds? What a hoot!!
On the anger thing...don't worry about it. Although I've always been rather laid-back anyway, ekult sort of messes you up so I ended up trying to totally eradicate any normal human feelings, but I remember I decided getting pissed off now & then & just letting it move on quickly was okay for a "lower initiate". Well, after I got out I found myself getting genuinely angry to the point where it sort of scared me, but I think that was a natural result of repression, and it balanced out. I was going thru menopause at the time too, and that can be wacky, like reverse puberty. <gg>
I think all emotions are normal and healthy and a part of being human, and there are only problems when they get sort of unbalanced and take over, that's when they become "deadly sins".
Well, please feel free to post about anything, I think most members here have been out for so long it's not that interesting anymore so there's not much activity, especially me. <gg> People handle leaving differently. For some it's relatively easy, but it can be harder for others, like experiencing PTSD & needing meds for a short time. When I got out, I spent a lot of time researching post-cult info, and it was helpful to learn the "symptoms", and to learn that all kinds of feelings are totally normal when you leave a cult.
Geez, years ago I used to write a lot more, one day I do plan to get to doing a "comprehensive" website that I hope will help people, I've got so much excellent stuff compiled!
Anyway, if you find you need a bit of help or just want to sort of "vent" privately, feel free to write to me personally or to any other former member whose posts "resonate" with you. There's a lot of good stuff in the archives. And I'm sure you're familiar with the other groups too.
Well, thank you so much for posting! And once again, congratulations!! You're going to absolutely love it out here!!
--- In email@example.com, "avonblue1212" <gowiththeflow1212@...> wrote:
> After close to thirty years in this organization (read: cult) and all the ordained titles, I finally saw the real light and resigned from eckankar (I'm sorry I can't even grace the word with a capital `E'). To go into the whys would take pages but suffice it to say it almost took a board over the head to finally break from this cult. I do feel this so-called path
no I mean religion
wait isn't it actually the path of total awareness
no, I mean the ancient science of soul travel
I meant the religion of light and sound you get the idea
I do feel this whatever they call it, is a cult very subtle but a cult just the same.
> A few examples: contemplate on the master his picture is everywhere! (books, discourses, official pictures now rising from the clouds even) Stare at anyone's picture long enough and you'll meet them in the dream state to be sure. True contemplation of the eck works sure, keep rereading the shariyat that tells how you'll burn forever in astral hell if you leave the path or talk negatively about it. Spread the `message' how else to pass along a cult - leave posters (they even have a poster team and coordinator for crying out loud! Hang up hu cards. The underlying credo of this path is we are better than anyone else. If only the best musicians, artists, scientists, politicians were eckists than THAT would be something. But alas, as they are, they only function off some lower plane, so don't pay them much attention. Talk about an EGO!!!
> I'd felt for some time an inner nudge to look deeper into my own truth but had resisted, believing I'd found all I could ever need to reach God in eckankar. But alas, spirit spoke over the din it eventually leads to truth. I sat in intros listening to real people with a heartfelt need and desire to find God, talking of amazing dreams and experiences, only to see their eyes glaze over when they were fed the `required' dogma of a `rehearsed dog and pony show'. Like, let's stop now at the most inappropriate time and do a hu chant or let's introduce the LEM now as he's the answer to everything. Or, if you want to attend a worship service
These people left and never came back.
> No matter how much I've tried to accept otherwise I can no longer, without complete disownment of all common sense and rationalism, not to mention self-respect, believe this path is valid. Books, websites, blogs, former members and common sense individuals keep pointing fingers at this organization, asking, sometimes demanding, answers. Other teachings have emerged declaring a similar lineage as eckankar (see dhunami). (hey, one of these Living masters has to be lying, right they both claim the same lineage except the dhunami masters bit on the ugly stick somewhere along the line).
> This teaching is slowly dying on the vine. There's absolutely no credibility left. The depth of the deceit, falsehoods, singular ownership of universal concepts, and word play in the outer and inner organization is unfathomable. Again, when a teaching (and its rationalizations) defies common sense truth is simply missing, not hidden in the morass. It feels criminal to me. And, of course I shouldn't get angry because that would be letting in one of the five passions. I guess it's better to sit like a lifeless zombie and just surrender!!! I don't think so!