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Did Bruce Leave?

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  • tygerpurr
    How does a tree say goodbye? Let s Leaf. lol Well anyway, I noticed that Bruce left my X-Eckankar The Chains of Eck YAHOO group just the other day. Of course
    Message 1 of 2 , Mar 2, 2007
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      How does a tree say goodbye? "Let's Leaf." lol

      Well anyway, I noticed that Bruce left my X-Eckankar The Chains of Eck
      YAHOO group just the other day. Of course anyone can and is certainly
      entitled to. It's just that ever since Jade abandon ship of the group
      and then got me to take over, as she was supposedly "moving on" and
      was no longer a victim, blah, blah, blah, I always thought it was
      strange that Bruce (Brupheus, Skadicus) stayed on but stopped posting,
      just lurking. Then he suddenly appears in some other ex eckankar
      groups to complain about all the ex eckers still warning others of the
      eckankar trap and then he espousing the "moving on" cultish mantra, etc.

      However, in his case, and many others who were raised in a destructive
      Cult like eckankar, I find it to be less of a sense of resentment that
      I may feel, for some of them still feel the need to defend the Cult
      thinking and perception of the world out of some need for survival.
      For those raised or recruited at an early age it is a difficult thing
      to eventually let go of. I was in my late teens when I was first
      introduced/indoctinated into eckankar. Many, like myself, still
      struggle with the cognitive dissonance and the subtle and very direct
      threats that go with leaving a destructive Cult. The effects are very
      much like Post Traumatic Stress. THese effects are very real and can
      be very disturbing. I am thankful for groups like this that help
      provide some support and compassion for what many may be going through.

      Hugs

      Tygerpurr ; )
    • Elizabeth
      ... *** I found it rather odd that he left abruptly as well. ;-) I think his problem is called Narcissistic Personality Disorder!
      Message 2 of 2 , Mar 2, 2007
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        --- In eckankartruth@yahoogroups.com, tygerpurr <no_reply@...> wrote:
        >
        > How does a tree say goodbye? "Let's Leaf." lol


        *** I found it rather odd that he left abruptly as well. ;-) I
        think his problem is called Narcissistic Personality Disorder!

        http://www.halcyon.com/jmashmun/npd/traits.html

        "Discussions with narcissists can be really weird and
        disconcerting; they seem to think that using some of the same words
        means that they are following a line of conversation or reasoning.
        Thus, they will go off on tangents and irrelevancies, apparently in
        the blithe delusion that they understand what others are talking
        about. And, frankly, they don't hear all the words, either. They can
        pay attention only to stuff that has them in it. This is not merely
        a bad habit -- it's a cognitive deficiency. Narcissists pay
        attention only to themselves and stuff that affects them personally.
        However, since they don't know what other people are doing,
        narcissists can't judge what will affect them personally and seem
        never to learn that when they cause trouble they will get trouble
        back. They won't take other people's feelings into consideration and
        so they overlook the fact that other people will react with feeling
        when abused or exploited and that most people get really pissed off
        by being lied to or lied about."

        <snipped>

        "Narcissists are (a) extremely sensitive to personal criticism and
        (b) extremely critical of other people. They think that they must be
        seen as perfect or superior or infallible, next to god-like (if not
        actually divine, then sitting on the right hand of God) -- or else
        they are worthless. There's no middle ground of ordinary normal
        humanity for narcissists. They can't tolerate the least
        disagreement. In fact, if you say, "Please don't do that again -- it
        hurts," narcissists will turn around and do it again harder to prove
        that they were right the first time; their reasoning seems to be
        something like "I am a good person and can do no wrong; therefore, I
        didn't hurt you and you are lying about it now..." -- sorry, folks,
        I get lost after that. Anyhow, narcissists are habitually cruel in
        little ways, as well as big ones, because they're paying attention
        to their fantasy and not to you, but the bruises on you are REAL,
        not in your imagination. Thus, no matter how gently you suggest that
        they might do better to change their ways or get some help, they
        will react in one of two equally horrible ways: they will attack or
        they will withdraw. Be wary of wandering into this dragon's cave --
        narcissists will say ANYTHING, they will trash anyone in their own
        self-justification, and then they will expect the immediate
        restoration of the status quo. They will attack you (sometimes
        physically) and spew a load of bile, insult, abuse, contempt,
        threats, etc., and then -- well, it's kind of like they had
        indigestion and the vicious tirade worked like a burp: "There. Now I
        feel better. Where were we?" They feel better, so they expect you to
        feel better, too. They will say you are nothing, worthless, and turn
        around immediately and say that they love you. When you object to
        this kind of treatment, they will say, "You just have to accept me
        the way I am. (God made me this way, so God loves me even if you are
        too stupid to understand how special I am.)" Accepting them as they
        are (and staying away from them entirely) is excellent advice.


        "They can't see that they have a problem; it's always somebody else
        who has the problem and needs to change. Therapies work at all only
        when the individual wants to change and, though narcissists hate
        their real selves, they don't want to change -- they want the world
        to change. And they criticize, gripe, and complain about almost
        everything and almost everyone almost all the time. There are
        usually a favored few whom narcissists regard as absolutely above
        reproach, even for egregious misconduct or actual crime, and about
        whom they won't brook the slightest criticism. These are people the
        narcissists are terrified of, though they'll tell you that what they
        feel is love and respect; apparently they don't know the difference
        between fear and love. Narcissists just get worse and worse as they
        grow older; their parents and other authority figures that they've
        feared die off, and there's less and less outside influence to keep
        them in check."

        >
        > Well anyway, I noticed that Bruce left my X-Eckankar The Chains of
        Eck
        > YAHOO group just the other day. Of course anyone can and is
        certainly
        > entitled to. It's just that ever since Jade abandon ship of the
        group
        > and then got me to take over, as she was supposedly "moving on" and
        > was no longer a victim, blah, blah, blah, I always thought it was
        > strange that Bruce (Brupheus, Skadicus) stayed on but stopped
        posting,
        > just lurking. Then he suddenly appears in some other ex eckankar
        > groups to complain about all the ex eckers still warning others of
        the
        > eckankar trap and then he espousing the "moving on" cultish
        mantra, etc.

        *** Interesting that Jade and Bruce seem to have similar traits!
        Tygerpurr, Did I ever tell you that I was co moderator of Jade's
        (now your) site a few years ago? She had a melt down one day (I
        can't really recall what it was over at the moment, it might have
        been something to do with me putting a link on my group site for
        someone she "Found" interesting...) by this time I was tired
        of "just accepting her for who she was" and told her I couldn't help
        her with the site any longer. I also felt like if I said the wrong
        thing (which with her one never knew) she would "punish" me!
        LOL


        "The other "punishment" narcissists mete out is banishing you from
        their glorious presence -- this can turn into a farce, since by this
        point you are probably praying to be rescued, "Dear God! How do I
        get out of this?" The narcissist expects that you will be devastated
        by the withdrawal of her/his divine attention, so that after a
        while -- a few weeks or months (i.e., the next time the narcissist
        needs to use you for something) -- the narcissist will expect you to
        have learned your lesson and be eager to return to the fold."

        Anywhooo, I say don't let the door hit you in the ass as you're
        leafing Bruce. ;-)
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