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6941Re: Whoa!!!

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  • tygerpurr
    Jan 8, 2008
      Thanks Colleen,

      That was a very helpful and moving reply; it actually brought a little
      tear to my left eye. Thanks again.

      Tygerpurr ; )

      --- In eckankartruth@yahoogroups.com, colleen <colleenmft@...> wrote:
      >
      > Message #6937 of 6940 < Prev | Next >
      Re: [eckankartruth] Re: Whoa!!!

      Hi Tygerpurr...

      As you have experienced, cults can cause great harm to
      relationships and families when members and leaders
      view themselves as the "chosen ones", more
      enlightened, superior, or "spiritually aware", etc.
      than those outside the group.

      The man who recruited me when I was 19 was the man I
      later married. When I filed for a divorce, I also
      made the decision to become "inactive" in Eckankar so
      that I could determine how I could live on my own,
      without my first husband and away from the day to day
      activities that had become my life for 7 years. Years
      later I stopped paying membership. I didn't have any
      other family members who were involved and this
      certainly made it easier for me in some ways. As I
      began to become psychologically free from my
      dependence to the "master" and the deception in
      Eckankar, I was able to relate more genuinely and
      maturely to my family of origin and extended family
      members. When I perceived myself and others as more
      fully human, with all our complexities and
      imperfections, I was able to become more closely
      connected.

      It is a loss when one isn't able to have the loving,
      supportive, and accepting relationship with one's
      family that one desires.

      I've known people who have distanced themselves from
      family members still involved in the cult. They try
      in various ways to connect, be seen as who they are,
      and respected, but this may fail to a great degree.
      So, they may spend less time with family members and
      accept that communication will be superficial and
      hopefully courteous. Cultivating a close, intimate
      (not necessary sexual) relationship with someone else
      can be a fulfilling alternative. Perhaps some day the
      family members will leave Eckankar as you did and you
      can have more in common.

      Best,

      Colleen

      > Colleen, do you have any suggestions on how to deal
      > with long time
      > eckists in your family who lie to you or won't talk
      > to you in an
      > honest way? Maybe this is typical of the cult
      > mentality and lack of
      > authentic emotion. I saw something funny on that
      > sitcom The Office
      > where one of the office staff was admiting to being
      > both a cult leader
      > and a cult member at various times. Anyway, I would
      > be interested in
      > your opinion on how to deal with long time eck
      > members. Sometimes they
      > are also prone to jump from one cult to another.
      >
      > Tygerpurr ; )
      >
      > --- In eckankartruth@yahoogroups.com, tygerpurr
      > <no_reply@...> wrote:
      > >
      > >Re: Whoa!!!
      >
      > Hi Colleen,
      >
      > I feel the same way about an eck "friend" that I
      > still come in contact
      > with once in a while. Yes I feel sad and even a
      > little freaked that
      > this person carries around a picture of Harold
      > Klemp. Now they
      > consider eckankar to be a religion and even talk
      > about going to
      > "church", even though Twitchell went out of his way
      > to say that
      > eckankar wasn't a religion, blah, blah.
      >
      > I keep hoping that this person will wake up and at
      > least join a group
      > that isn't so Authoritarian and Hierarchical, but
      > after 35 or so
      > years, is there still hope? I guess it has something
      > to do with
      > believing that they are some how Special and that
      > all other religions
      > are inferior. THis person is very anxiety prone and
      > fears being alone
      > a great deal. It can be difficult to make the leap
      > away from this
      > "deceptive ideology". Maybe it is like a really bad
      > and abusive
      > relationship, where the person involved still wants
      > to believe that
      > the abuser is good and they blame themselves if
      > anything goes wrong.
      >
      > It is really tragic. Usually, when I am with this
      > person I don't
      > discuss eckanakr directly, but talk in more general
      > terms about the
      > problems of blind faith in an Authoritarian religion
      > and the problems
      > with absolutist dogma. Still, it seems to fall on
      > deaf ears. THey only
      > see and hear what they want to.
      >
      > I was a member of eckankar for a shorter period of
      > time than you, but
      > it continued to affect me through family members,
      > etc. I never was
      > really in a position of authority in eckankar. I
      > always asked too many
      > questions. This is a good place to start for any
      > eckist wanting to
      > separate from eckankar, imho. They will start
      > pushing you out the
      > door. LOL But then it is probably a good idea to
      > have some kind of
      > back up or support to make the transition easier.
      >
      > Tygerpurr ; )
      >
      > --- In eckankartruth@yahoogroups.com, colleen
      > <colleenmft@...> wrote:
      > >
      > Re: [eckankartruth] Re: Whoa!!!
      >
      > Leanne,
      >
      > It's very interesting that my then husband and I
      > were
      > their role-models during the early years of
      > Eckankar.
      > I became inactive after 7 years....they continued.
      > My
      > guess is that what they've told you fits into the
      > mythic ideology of eckankar in that the chanting
      > supposedly helps one burn off karma and if someone
      > does a lot, there's a huge amount that could be
      > unmanageable. My dear old friends sound to me as
      > though they've lost their own critical thinking
      > skills. I'm saddened that they're still involved in
      > what I consider a deceptive ideology.
      >
      > Colleen
      > --- Leanne Thompson <le_anne_thompson@...>
      > wrote:
      >
      > > Yep Thats them. If I hu for 2+ hours in a day my
      > > karma would get very large or I would make life
      > very
      > > miserable for myself. I thought it was just a love
      > > song to God so no harm in doing it.
      > >

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