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The Driving Force of Emotional NEEDS Behind Every Human Action

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  • Gypsie
    The Driving Force of Emotional NEEDS Behind Every Human Action (The Subconscious/ Psychology Reasons Behind Every Choice We Choose) These are emotional needs
    Message 1 of 1 , Dec 17, 2008
      The Driving Force of Emotional NEEDS Behind Every Human Action (The
      Subconscious/ Psychology Reasons Behind Every Choice We Choose)

      These are emotional needs that every human must attain in order to
      live. People will even go against their own morals, values, and
      ethical beliefs to meet their emotional needs. Meeting these needs
      are done on a subconscious/ unconscious/ psychology level. Being
      aware of these needs on a conscious level, you can actively choose
      the way you meet your emotional needs (to stop subconsciously
      programmed patterns), in a manner that does not cause negative
      consequences.

      Emotional Need of Feeling...
      Security/ Certainty - To feel safe and comfortable without any
      doubts. To feel as if you can somewhat predict what will happen. To
      feel peace of mind.

      Negative/ Subconscious/ Unconscious Ways of Fulfilling The Need of
      Security/ Certainty:

      Misdirection - You can control all kinds of physical things to
      distract you of uncertainty and gain a feeling of security. Having
      control gives you a feeling of security/ certainty.
      1. Object Control - Hammer that nail, fix that car, rake that yard,
      clean that house, etc... Do something you know you can feel certain/
      safe about without a doubt and doing this will help to avoid the
      things you need to do, that you feel uncertain about (making that big
      decision, facing that fear, taking that action, etc...).
      2. Drama Control - Using technics to control people (for more
      information on these unconscious technics click here). Once you have
      control, then you can somewhat predict how people are going to
      respond.
      3. Food Control- When you have food in your stomach, then you can
      feel safe and certain that you will survive. You get a peace of mind
      because you are trading a emotional need for something you can
      physically feel.
      Consistency/ Superstitious - Doing the same thing every day to
      recognize a pattern of consistency and be able to predict. For
      example, I will eat the same foods, stay at the same dead end job,
      use the same route, say the same things, keep objects in exactly the
      same position, watch the same television shows, etc...
      Labels - Using labels on yourself, you can predict what will happen
      in the future. This way you are not disappointed and can feel safe
      with certainty that your actions will end up a certain way. This
      gives you a piece of mind and a reason to feel comfortable with your
      actions. For example: I am an alcoholic, procrastinator, manic
      depressant, perfectionist, smoker, etc...
      Positive/ Conscious Ways of Fulfilling The Need of Security/
      Certainty:

      Faith - You can feel empowered with security/ certainty by using
      faith. You choose to feel certain by your faith. Faith will give you
      the ultimate peace of mind.
      Subliminal Messages - You can induce the feeling of security/
      certainty, by listening to this subliminal recording. Using
      subliminal technics creates the auto-suggestion of prediction without
      doubt.
      Encode Purpose - Through this technic, you produce the result of
      feeling purpose in everything. Giving meaning, reasons, and spiritual
      context behind the things that happen. Security/ certainty is felt
      where you can predict purpose. The way to encode this, is by plugging
      yourself into a continuous stream of empowering articles, audio
      CDs/tapes/podcasts, books, etc... Anything that will uplift you and
      keep you uplifted.
      Every human being needs to feel Security/ Certainty. For most, it is
      easier to choose the negative things to fulfill a need, since they
      are unaware what is driving them to take that action. People are
      constantly needing to meet these needs everyday and the subconscious
      finds very clever ways of doing this. The options may seem limited
      for positive choices, but as you read this article, you will see that
      you can meet all your emotional needs by doing one continuous
      positive thing daily.

      With that being said, let us move on to the next emotional need. In
      order to understand this next emotional need (after hearing the first
      one), you must ask yourself a few questions. What would happen to
      your life, if you had fully, a life of compete and total security/
      certainty 100% of the time? What if you knew exactly what was going
      to happen, all the time? What feeling would you get, if you could
      predict everything in your life without a doubt? Perhaps frustration,
      annoyance, and/or boredom. Therefore, the next emotional need has to
      balance out the first one. Everything in this world has an opposite,
      for that purpose exactly.

      Emotional Need of Feeling...
      Diversity/ Uncertainty - This need is the essence of excitement and
      creativity. To feel a sense of surprise. To feel the invitation of
      something new. To add variety to your life. To feel the feeling of
      stimulation and growth.

      Negative/ Subconscious/ Unconscious Ways of Fulfilling The Need of
      Diversity/ Uncertainty:

      Relationships - Enter a new relationship out of boredom, there is
      much surprise and uncertainty in the beginning of all relationships
      (soon after the beginning, you will start to feel certain about the
      relationship and once again need that uncertainty). Below is a list
      of things that could happen if you choose to use the relationship
      tool as an emotional fulfillment:
      1. Confrontational - The relationship becomes too predictable,
      comfortable, and produces too much certainty. In order to avoid this
      overwhelming emotional feeling, starting a fight is one way to bring
      variety, difference, uncertainty, and diversity (of course this is
      done unconsciously, yet once you know the driving force is your
      emotional needs, then you can consciously choose positive outlets).
      2. Workaholic - Too much certainty at home, they find the need to
      feel stimulation through the work place.
      3. Cheating - No suspense or diversity in a relationship that was
      once full of surprise. Not knowing that they lost a fulfillment and
      not knowing how to replace that unconscious emotional need, they find
      some variety with another. Even a person with high values, morals,
      and a sense of a strong ethical outlet will abandon their belief
      system to fulfill their emotional needs.
      4. Leaving/ Breaking Up - I must be with the wrong person, I do not
      feel the same connection. I am not feeling the same diversity,
      variety, challenge, surprise, or stimulation. It is frustrating,
      annoying, and boring. This must not be my soul-mate. Better find
      somebody new.

      State of Mind - The fastest way to create a destructive change in how
      you feel, is to induce a change in your state of mind, through
      chemicals. Prescription medications, alcohol, illegal drugs, etc...
      There is much diversity, uncertainty, variety, and surprises in your
      feelings with these chemical induced experiences.
      Newer - Find a new place for your furniture, find a new apartment,
      find a new job, buy a new vehicle, have sexual relations with a new
      person, marry a new person, etc... These newer experiences never
      last. The new eventually becomes old, certain, comfortable,
      predictable, etc...
      Positive/ Conscious Ways of Fulfilling The Need of Diversity/
      Uncertainty:

      Challenge - Push yourself beyond your comfort zones, eliminate your
      fears, pressure yourself to create a ripple of positive change
      (perhaps spread the word of this free ebook about positivity to
      everyone you know ;) ), develop your imagination, etc...
      Converse - Engaging in a conversation that opens ideas, allows
      growth, thought-provoking, and encourages the mind to reach higher
      levels of consciousness.
      Learn - Read an educational book, take a class, earn a certificate,
      learn something new (learn to play chess, understand time management,
      digest knowledge of being productive), etc...
      Be Creative - In order to spark creativity, you need to see what the
      major of people do not see. Being creative, is about take the
      ordinary and making it extraordinary. The way to do this, is to look
      for the details. There are infinite possibilities within everything.
      You just have to look for it. There is Diversity/ Uncertainty in
      everything, even the mundane. Start focusing on the small detail in
      things. You will notice a variety of things you never noticed before.
      Let us say that you find a balance between the paradoxes of the first
      two emotional needs (once you know the other needs, I will show you
      an easy way to balance them all out). Here you are feeling certain,
      but not too much certainty that you feel bored. At the same time you
      are meeting the need of being uncertain, but not too much variety
      that you feel scared/ uncentered/ unsafe. What is left? What other
      feelings could you possible want to fulfill?

      What about fame? To be acknowledged as a SOMEBODY. Perhaps you say
      you do not want fame or be acknowledged because you are not like most
      people. Most people are into their egos, but not you. Well, that
      would still count as being/ fulfilling need three (is that not your
      way of being unique and different?)...

      Emotional Need of Feeling...
      Unique/ Significant - The need for individual strength. To feel that
      you are important or in some way special. To feel needed through a
      sense of purpose. To stand out from the crowd. To feel extraordinary,
      eccentric, weird, odd, strange, or buzzard.

      Negative/ Subconscious/ Unconscious Ways of Fulfilling The Need of
      Unique/ Significant:

      Destructive - One way to feel important, is to make everyone else
      unimportant, by tearing them down, ripping through others confidence,
      and/or making them feel bad, evil, wrong. Finding faults and digging
      at them.
      Violent - Being violet makes people notice you. If you feeling
      unimportant, pull out a weapon and you can instantly get focus as
      being someone significant. You are special and get spotlight
      attention for being violent. You do not have to have an education or
      background. You do not have to learn anything or work at anything.
      You can be violent and feel as if you accomplished the task of being
      unique.
      Misplaced Identity (this goes back to the section on
      Security/Certainty under Labels, but I will explain more here because
      it also is a way to feel Unique/Significant too) - A good intended
      (yet uninformed) psychologist (that is trained to spot certain
      symptoms) tells you that you have a psychological disease/ disorder
      (addiction, bipolar, depressive, post dramatic stress, obsessive
      compulsive, etc...). You can find relief in this because you are
      certain why this is happening to you and certain that you are not to
      be blamed (this is who you are, that is the way it has to be). This
      disease now gives you significance that you are different and a label
      that stands you out from the crowd.
      Illness - You are feeling lonely and unimportant to the world around
      you. Nobody seems to care for you. Nobody visits anymore. Nobody
      needs your presence around. Yet once you get ill, you get all kinds
      of attention: everyone seems to be taking care of you, everyone you
      know comes to visit, and finally you feel important, special, and
      needed. Subconsciously, the mind will pick up on this and cause the
      body to get sick, or deathly ill in order to meet this need.
      Collecting - Using material things to measure your significance. The
      one who collects the most toys wins. The one with the most friends is
      the most important. The one who knows the most famous people are more
      special. The more money you possess, the more you get noticed.

      Positive/ Conscious Ways of Fulfilling The Need of Unique/
      Significant:

      Lightworker - This is a name that stand out from the crowd. This name
      has purpose, meaning, and reasoning. To have a connection to a source
      of energy or light of your Creator. Having this task in front of you,
      to do work directed by that strong connection you feel. This makes
      you unique, helpful, and a contributor for the highest good of all.
      Expanding - Achieving, developing, finding, and knowing the answers
      to questions. Giving answers that most do not realize. Sharing your
      uniqueness through the answers you give, for the highest of all
      involved. Having a sense of purpose through your information and
      knowledge. Feeling like you contribute for meaning and reason.
      Degrees - Having a degree (that enhances life for the better), gives
      you a feeling of being someone who is important and unique. Doctor,
      senator, therapist, scientist, psychologist, linguist, ornithologist,
      etc...
      Skills/ Talents - Discovering something that most people do not have/
      possess/ attain and using it to enrich a positive growth (inspiring
      music, purposeful paintings, creative writings, empowering movies,
      enhancing technologies, productive inventions, revolutionary ideas,
      powerful progress, extraordinary accomplishments, extremely
      compassionate, actively giving, passionately providing, etc...).
      If you are really good at meeting this need, you will often violate
      need four. People who know this all too well: celebrities, anyone
      born with a disability (dwarfism, deformities, progeria, etc...), and
      to a lesser degree; the black sheep of the family. What would happen
      if you feel completely different from everyone else around you? What
      feeling would you feel if you stood out from a crowd EVERYWHERE you
      went? Perhaps you would feel: disconnected, separate, and lonely.
      Feeling as if you can not just BE a human being. As if you are stuck
      on an island of aliens, you can not even be yourself. Attention
      follows you, rather than (most people) seeking it out. You lose a
      sense of connecting with people.

      Emotional Need of Feeling...
      Love/ Connection - To feel love, unity, oneness, likeness, sameness,
      and commonality. This need is the need for connection/ love in
      relationships (rather that be intimate, pets, friends, family and/or
      things).

      Negative/ Subconscious/ Unconscious Ways of Fulfilling The Need of
      Love/ Connection:

      Pity - You can create of situation to get you sympathy. In this
      manner you can perceive yourself as connected through a twist of
      love. Manifest being sick or ill and force people to connect to you
      through feeling sorry for you.
      Violence - Yes, you can feel significant by acting violent, but you
      also connect with that person that you are putting violence on. This
      person can no longer ignore you (or the pain you are putting on
      them), you are connected.
      Plug In - Connect to the television, media, video games and/or soak
      in anything that represents unconscious violent behavior.
      Gangs - Through a gang, all these core needs are met:
      1. Security/ Certainty - You can predict that your gang will back you
      up. You are certain they will be there for you. This gives you peace
      of mind.
      2. Diversity/ Uncertainty - Anything could happen at any time. You
      could be involved in a fight, shooting, and/or surprise in your
      environment. The natural chemical of adrenal rushes through your body
      and you feel a state change.
      3. Unique/ Significant - You have a label/name for your gang, giving
      you a identity that makes you unique. People respond to you
      differently based on your gang name or/and color of clothes that
      represent your gang.
      4. Love/ Connection - You are connected to the other people in your
      gang, they are like family.
      Positive/ Conscious Ways of Fulfilling The Need of Love/ Connection:

      Organizations - Rather it be a community, club, team, or spiritual
      organization. When like-minded people come together, it forms a bond
      of connection and love (plus meet all the needs simultaneously) .
      Intimate Relationships - Closeness, love, and connection is commonly
      experienced through the intimate relationship you have with your
      significant other.
      Sexuality - You could connect with your partner in a oneness
      experience of love through sexual exchange.
      Children/ Kids/ Infants - You can feel the connection and love
      through the relationship of offspring. You can also feel the need to
      be needed or feeling important through your offspring. They can not
      survive without you, that makes you the world to that baby (therefore
      you are also fulfilling the need for Significance).
      Spirituality - Having a connection with a life purpose and the
      foundation in which all life was created. To connect and love the
      process or the source/ energy in which intended this process to
      happen. A connection to yourself, who you choose to be, and the
      beliefs you have about life.
      Nature - You can experience a connection with the great outdoors.
      Hiking in the forest or mountains. To feel the unity of nature in
      which you are a part of and connected to.
      Pets - You can feel significant and connected through your loving
      pet, who sees you as the most important aspect of their life.
      Reflection - You can reflect on a art piece, sculpture, or monument,
      and feel connected. You can choose to see the beauty in all forms and
      connect with anything through choice.
      Service - When you do something for the highest good of all and
      expect nothing in return, that is perhaps the most satisfying action
      of love and connection. When you do things just to provide value for
      human beings that goes beyond yourself, you feel a connection of
      total fulfillment. Helping people automatically through subconscious
      actions connects you: to people, life, and the universe. It connects
      you on such a deep level, that the experience is of gigantic
      proportion. The experience indescribable in its beauty. Oneness is
      truly experienced and tears of joy flow from love. A love that goes
      beyond emotion.

      How to Identify a Negative/ Unconscious Way Through Ego
      All of the negative/ unconscious ways above are created by the mind-
      set of thinking in disconnected ways. When you think of yourself as
      disconnected from everything else, you are seeing things through the
      lens of your ego. There are several ways to recognize if you are
      thinking in an ego manner. The ego has a routine way of thinking. It
      will always think that it is defined by everything outside itself. In
      other words, while in the ego, you will have thoughts that things
      outside yourself represent and define you as a person. These thoughts
      can be narrowed down to six ways of thinking:

      1. I am defined by my possessions. What I own is who I am.
      2. What I achieve defines me as a person. What I do is who I am.
      3. My reputation precedes me. What others think of me is who I am.
      4. My body represents me as who I am. Everyone is separate from me
      (with their own body).
      5. My desires are separate from me (I am disconnected from that which
      I desire). The things/ desires that are missing in my life define me
      as who I am.
      6. My life depends on my Creator. I am defined as worthy or unworthy
      by my Creator (I am separate from my Creator).
      If you desire to know if your need is being met by a negative or
      positive manner. Ask yourself if it defines you as being disconnected
      in one (or more) of these six ways. If the answer is yes (if your ego
      is coming through), then it is a negative way to fulfill your
      emotional need.

      Neutral Ways of Fulfilling...
      However you are always fulfilling your needs on a daily basis and
      because it is a daily thing, there are neutral ways of meeting your
      needs too. Neutral means: they are not positive or negative 'in and
      of' themselves, but could be (positive or negative) depending on how
      they are used, for what reason, how long (moderation is the key), and
      to what extent:

      Neutral Ways of Fulfilling The Need of Security/ Certainty:

      Avoiding Drama - Doing everything in your power to keep conflict
      away. Comfort can be found in not entertaining drama.
      Entertainment - Watch a movie you already seen, then you can predict
      what will happen.
      Isolation - Being alone or by yourself in order to control your
      environment.
      Neutral Ways of Fulfilling The Need of Diversity/ Uncertainty:

      Amusement - Go bowling, goto a sporting event, a club, concert,
      skiing, etc...
      Adventure - Take a trip, travel, explore, etc...
      Neutral Ways of Fulfilling The Need of Unique/ Significant:

      Style - People can feel unique in their physically looks (hair style,
      face shape, jewelry, piercing, tattoos, scars, etc...), in how they
      dress (hat sideways, one pant leg up, all black clothes, colorful
      clothes, etc...), in how they speak (accents, slang, slur, etc...),
      in the way they move (their mouth, hands, body, etc...), the list
      goes on... Any crazy, extraordinary, eccentric, weird, odd, strange,
      or buzzard thing you can think of, it is all done for only this
      purpose.

      Neutral Ways of Fulfilling The Need of Love/ Connection:

      Emerge - Get connected to a person/hero in a book or movie.
      Filling Time - Connecting yourself to your collection, hobby, or
      things you do on your spear time.

      If it does not provide value to your life (other than meet your
      emotional needs) or the life of others; but at the same time it is
      not harming anybody, then it is neutral.

      Unfortunately many people are unaware of their emotional needs. They
      will do ego related things, in order to meet their needs. These ego
      related negative ways of fulfilling their needs, do work. They work
      at a bare minimum level of fulfillment. In other words, it satisfies
      them just enough to keep doing it (it satisfies them in the short-
      term), but it does not make them happy (yet not unhappy enough to
      stop).

      When a change happens in a persons environment, to where the negative
      ego related way no longer works anymore, they will demand that other
      people meet their needs. They demand it by doing something obnoxious.
      A person who acts this way, is known to be egotistical. Deep down an
      egotistical person is crying out to meet an emotional need. Of course
      the opposite happens, usually egotistical people drive others away.

      The Perfect Way to Meet Your Emotional Needs
      As a result, here is a system to meet your own needs:

      1. Recognize the needs that other people are trying to fulfill. It
      will be easy to realize, because people are continuously trying to
      meet one need or another (through every word and action of every
      person). You can tell through a simple conversation.
      2. Give that person what they desire. Whatever need they desire to
      fulfill (through simple observation), fulfill it for them.
      3. By meeting the emotional needs of others, you will notice that
      most people will automatically reciprocate. You will make them
      overfilled with joy and that overfilling will spill onto you too.

      Two More Essential Needs to Complete Emotional Happiness
      The needs above are the fundamental needs. You can meet all the needs
      above and still not be completely happy on a emotional level. These
      other two needs are essential to feel complete happiness. These last
      two needs are the primary essence of life. They are aligned with the
      laws of life.

      First Primary Emotional Need of...
      Growth - To grow as an individual person. To mix knowledge with
      experience and find wisdom. To go beyond your comfort zones. To
      experience and feel yourself expand as a person.

      There are no positive, negative, or neutral ways to meet the need of
      growth. You are either growing or you are not. Everything in life is
      like the cycle of plants. Plants are always growing or they are
      dieing. If you are not growing as a person (to reach beyond your
      current understanding), then you are slowly dieing. The essence of
      all life, is growth. Everything in this world serves a purpose and if
      it does not serve, then it will eventual die and something else will
      grow in its place. All of nature runs on this circle. Growth is the
      essence of life itself. Without growth in a changing world, you will
      not succeed. Stop growing and you will definitely be unhappy.

      Yet, If nobody is growing with you, then you are not serving growth.
      Knowledge that is experienced, is not wisdom until it is shared.
      Individual growth, is not expressive without contributing.

      Second Primary Emotional Need of...
      Contribute/ Expression - You need to provide value and contribute
      through self-expression. You need to not only serve a purpose, but
      you must serve a higher purpose. This is the need to go beyond
      yourself, by contributing yourself through expression. Passion always
      leads to growth; individually and collectively. Your ultimate purpose
      in life, is to serve the higher good of all. You will find that you
      are the most happiest when you are serving for the higher good of
      everyone. Life supports everyone and serves everyone for the highest
      good, it is a universal law (just as all your cells serve the highest
      good of the body as a whole and the body supports the cells).

      The Paradoxes
      Recognize that everyone has the same emotional needs. Everyone is the
      same in that area, but people will find different ways of fulfilling
      these needs. We all have these same problems in life. We all go
      through the paradoxes (two things that seem opposite, but actually
      support each other) of meeting these emotional needs. Therefore, we
      should not judge someone for choosing a different way of fulfilling
      their needs. It is just a matter of choice and that choice has been
      made unconsciously (more than likely). That does not make that person
      wrong, evil, or bad for that choice. They are just a different person
      than you, causing them to choose differently. Their approach may work
      for them. It is difficult to decide.

      Just observe for yourself and evaluate what does not serve you. You
      can accurately judge what works for you and decide if something is
      poorly fulfilling you. Then you can consciously choose how to be more
      fulfilling, by replacing the destructive manner with a more
      productive manner.

      For example, it might be comfortable for you to smoke because it
      gives you some detraction, or something to do in the mists of
      boredom. Now you know why you are doing it, and you can now instantly
      replace it with something that provides equally instant fulfillment
      to those emotional needs.

      One Dominate Need
      You will notice through observation that one of these needs will be
      more dominate in yourself (and others) than any other need. For
      example, someone you are really close to may crave the need to be
      significant, more than any other need. It is their personality need
      and it is as if they can never get enough of that need. They can feel
      satisfied/happy (through a positive outlet) to get that need
      fulfilled, but it will never be completely fulfilled to the point of
      not craving it. In other words, they can be a happy and a complete
      emotional person by meeting all their needs (in positive ways), but
      one need will always stand out within them. Like a driving force to
      keep going. My dominate need, is the need to contribute. I am
      fulfilled by contributing, but not fulfilled enough to stop. The
      driving force keeps me doing it.

      This article was inspired by Gudjon Bergmann, who wrote the book "The
      Seven Human Needs" (you can read the book for free by clicking on the
      link). This article was also inspired by Tony Robbins who released a
      audio CD collection called Personal Power (Volume 12: * The Driving
      Force: The Six Human Needs * Meetings With Masters (3 Disc: No. 23,
      24, 25).
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