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2214Re: Company Christmas Party

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  • Gord Hulbert
    Dec 15, 2003
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      I think you have a BAD virus in your computer.  Someone has got into your address book.
       
      Gord Hulbert
      ----- Original Message -----
      Sent: Monday, December 15, 2003 4:29 PM
      Subject: Company Christmas Party

      December 1st To: ALL EMPLOYEES
      I am happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will be held
      on December 23rd at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue. There will be lots of
      spiked eggnog and a small band playing traditional carols...feel free to
      sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed up as
      Santa Claus to light the Christmas tree!
      Exchanging gifts among employees can be done at this time; please
      remember to keep gifts to the agreed $10.00 limit.
       
      Merry Christmas to you and yours.
               Patty Lewis
      Human Resources Director
       
       
      December 2nd TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
      In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees.
      We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday that often coincides
      with Christmas (though not this year unfortunately).  However, from now
      on we're calling this party our "Holiday Party."
      The same policy also applies to employees who are celebrating Kwanzaa at
      this time. There will be no tree, or Christmas carols sung.
       
      Happy holidays to you and yours.
               Patty Lewis
      Human Resources Director
       
       
      December 3rd TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
      Regarding the anonymous note I received from a member of Alcoholics
      Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, I'm happy to accommodate this
      request, but please remember that if I put up a sign on the table that
      reads "AA ONLY," you won't be anonymous any more. In addition, we will
      no longer be having a gift exchange since the Union members feel that
      $10.00 is too much money.
       
      Patty Lewis
      Human Resources Director
       
       
      December 7th TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
      I have arranged for members of Overeaters Anonymous to sit farthest away
      from the dessert buffet, and for pregnant employees to sit closest to
      the restrooms.  Gays are allowed to sit with each other.  Lesbians do
      not have to sit with the gay men; each group will have their own table.
      And, yes, there will be a flower
      arrangement for the gay men's table!  Happy now?
       
      Patty Lewis
      Human Resources Director
       
       
      December 9th TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
      People, people!! Nothing sinister was intended by wanting our CEO to
      play Santa Claus! Even if the anagram for "Santa" does happen to be
      "Satan", there is no evil connotation to our own "little man in a red
      suit".
       
      Patty Lewis
      Human Resources Director
       
       
      December 10th TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
      Vegetarians-I've had it with you people!! We're holding this party at
      Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue whether you like it or not!! You can just sit
      at the table farthest from the "grill of death," as you put it, and
      you'll get salad bar only, including hydroponic tomatoes.  But, you
      know, tomatoes have feelings, too! They scream when you slice them. I've
      heard them scream. I'm hearing them right now.  Ha!  I hope you have a
      rotten holiday! Drive drunk and die, you hear me?"
       
      The Bitch from Hell !
       
       
      December 14th TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
      I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery
      from her stress-related illness. I'll continue to forward your cards to
      her at the sanatorium.  In the meantime, management has decided to
      cancel the Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon off with full
      pay on the 23rd

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