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2135The Joys of Growing Old

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  • Marcel J. Savoie
    Nov 6, 2003
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      An older Jewish gentleman was on the operating
      table awaiting surgery and he
      insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform
      the operation. As he was
      about to get the anaesthesia he asked to speak to
      his son. "Yes Dad, what is
      it?" "Don't be nervous, son; do your best and just
      remember, if it doesn't
      go well, if something happens to me ... your
      mother is going to come and
      live with you and your wife...."


      Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you
      stop lying about your age
      and start bragging about it.


      The older we get, the fewer things seem worth
      waiting in line for.

      Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not
      me, I want people to know
      "why" I look this way. I've travelled a long way
      and some of the roads
      weren't paved.


      How old would you be if you didn't know how old
      you are?

      When you are dissatisfied and would like to go
      back to youth, think of


      You know you are getting old when everything
      either dries up or leaks.


      I don't know how I got over the hill without
      getting to the top.


      One of the many things no one tells you about
      aging is that it is such a
      nice change from being young.


      Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is

      Old age is when former classmates are so grey and
      wrinkled and bald, they
      don't recognize you.

      If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't
      have anything to laugh at
      when you are old.

      First you forget names, then you forget faces.
      Then you forget to pull up
      your zipper. It's worse when you forget to pull it


      Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with
      sticks, it was called
      witchcraft... Today, it's called golf

      Two women met for the first time since graduating
      from high school. One
      asked the other, "You were always so organized in
      school, Did you manage to
      live a well planned life? " " Yes," said her
      friend. "My first marriage was
      to a millionaire; my second marriage was to an
      actor; my third marriage was
      to a preacher; and now I'm married to an
      undertaker." Her friend asked,
      "What do those marriages have to do with a well
      planned life?" "One for the
      money, two for the show, three to get ready, and
      four to go."