Tiny Update with HUGE Whine
- Hi,I truly hope this letter finds you in good spirits, and totally relate if it dont. *gentle huggles*Had pelvic ultrasound done today, external and internal, and all the results are normal - just like all my other scans. Had to drink a litre of water in 30 minutes lol, wish I had been in a DI flare... I found it hard to drink that much. I just got water toxic. Even that didn't go right *blah* :-(For once I had hoped something would be straight forward, that perhaps I could get ahead and things could go my way! I hoped that it would say "You have X" so I could talk to immunologist about immune suppressants and surgery etc. Now when I see the Gyno, he will want to do either a D&C or laparoscopy, neither he will be able to do until I am weened off the immune suppressants. I could have gotten a head start if I had "X" but now I have to wait as my appointment with him is not until the 26th.Yet another example of something not going right. I'm so fed up with this. Now it will be 4 weeks more of bleeding, pain, fatigue, inability to do anything, yadda, till I see the Gyno, then another god knows how long till I am off the immune suppressants if they want to do surgery... this could go on for months. Well hell its only gone on for years, only difference is I am well enough to deal with this problem now, whats a few more months hey? I'm only 27, its not like I need a life or anything.Oh and the new drug, Topamax, isn't doing a damn thing. I had another bad attack of palatal myoclonus (think epilepsy crossed with asthma) last night, couldn't breathe, was choking etc - had to sleep in a chair in another room. So guess I'll up the dose again tomorrow, then I'm at my maximum dose until I see my neruo in two weeks. Do not think this is quite what he had in mind, but perhaps if I didn't have all this stupid girl stuff going on I'd be ok? Oh who the fuck knows huh?All I know is that I don't want any more of this :-(Talk in a few days, I'm going "to forget about life for awhile" to quote Billy Joel. I'm not giving up, I'm just taking time out - so no need to worry. I'm just exhausted, burnt out, upset, sick and tired of being sick and tired, and fed up with the entire "process" of waiting to get nowhere.I'm going no email, so I wont be around, but know you'll be in my thoughts and in my heart.Lots and lots and lots of love to you!!!!*pathetic hugs*¸..· ´¨¨)) -:¦:-
((¸¸.·´ ..·´ -:¦:- Aisha
Don't let the odds scare you from even trying.
- Howard Schultz