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116[DhammaStudyGroup] Re: Helping elderly parents

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  • tanarong@econ.cmu.ac.th
    Feb 3, 2000
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      I think when you have tried to do your best with good intention, it is not
      lobha is the limit. The limit is conditioned by many factors most of them
      outside your ability. Then you just let it go. Realization at that moment
      that it is only dhamma. I think Ivan's reply is pessimistic that he saw it
      as only lobha. With your good intention though without panna, it is still
      kusala citta.

      At 21:03 3/2/00 PST, you wrote:
      >>I, too, had a lot of dilemmas and difficulties in this regard when my
      >>parents were having a lot of marital problems and when my father became
      >>alcoholic. I still have a feeling (or rather thoughts) of conventional
      >>failure in this regard. Sometimes we try to do more than >we're>really up
      >>to and not realistic about our limits. But what are these >limits? What is
      >>metta, Sarah
      >Our limit is the maximum drive we are capable of to fulfill our lobha. And
      >failure is dosa, due to unfulfilled lobha.
      >Trying to do more than we�re really up to and not being realistic about our
      >limits is due to excessive lobha. A very common state of mind, as are
      >thoughts of failure of regret.
      >Our limits and our successes and failures are just thinking (a story), due
      >to the rising and falling away of cita/cetasika. Every moment has its
      >characteristic that can be known and the story that they are creating
      >distracts from knowing the moment for what it is. If the moments of dosa or
      >lobha etc. do not arise, then how can there be contemplation and eventual
      >understanding of their characteristics? The stories that cita/cetasiaka
      >create can be confusing, the characteristics of each moment are not. Is the
      >answer found in manipulating the story to make it different from what it is
      >or understand the moments ( kusala or akusala) that create the story?
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